5 Signs Of Dry Begging, NOT Real Love
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Date: 2025-01-19
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Comments and reviews: 20
gwendolin1762
I think I used to dry beg for smaller things in the first half of my current relationship. It was absolutely because I was terrified of rejection due to some trauma. I picked up on what I was doing every time, I felt guilty, and gross with how I was going about things. I phased it out eventually, but I dont recall how long this took.
For anyone else worried about their current behaviors, I had decided to try to be as honest as I can about my desires and feelings despite how vulnerable I felt. Every once in a while, when i'm in a terrible place, I regress in different ways, like being dishonest about how I feel. Fortunately, in the present, it happens very rarely, and for anyone concerned about themselves, I'm sure you can get there too by practicing this kind of vulnerability and honesty with your loved one.
If it's difficult to even think about beginning, I would suggest starting in a location that gives you security like the bedroom or maybe alone outside.
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I think I used to dry beg for smaller things in the first half of my current relationship. It was absolutely because I was terrified of rejection due to some trauma. I picked up on what I was doing every time, I felt guilty, and gross with how I was going about things. I phased it out eventually, but I dont recall how long this took.
For anyone else worried about their current behaviors, I had decided to try to be as honest as I can about my desires and feelings despite how vulnerable I felt. Every once in a while, when i'm in a terrible place, I regress in different ways, like being dishonest about how I feel. Fortunately, in the present, it happens very rarely, and for anyone concerned about themselves, I'm sure you can get there too by practicing this kind of vulnerability and honesty with your loved one.
If it's difficult to even think about beginning, I would suggest starting in a location that gives you security like the bedroom or maybe alone outside.
reply
Rickster1327
Huh, I got away away from a kind of relationship a week ago, and I thought that it was my fault because I hurt her but, I was put in a state where she wanted me as a boyfriend or nothing and even knowing that I'm not well with myself and I can enter a relationship, she was pushing me to act like her boyfriend through manipulation and I felt for it without realizing and thinking it was my feelings, and no, I'm not innocent, I had mistakes that damaged the relationship we used to have and the friendship after the break up (Almost two years ago, and trying to be something that I can't be anymore was damaging me and her, so yeah, I made mistakes on my own but I think I was manipulated and my resistance lead me to other mistakes, I guess I'll be better on my own for some time
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Huh, I got away away from a kind of relationship a week ago, and I thought that it was my fault because I hurt her but, I was put in a state where she wanted me as a boyfriend or nothing and even knowing that I'm not well with myself and I can enter a relationship, she was pushing me to act like her boyfriend through manipulation and I felt for it without realizing and thinking it was my feelings, and no, I'm not innocent, I had mistakes that damaged the relationship we used to have and the friendship after the break up (Almost two years ago, and trying to be something that I can't be anymore was damaging me and her, so yeah, I made mistakes on my own but I think I was manipulated and my resistance lead me to other mistakes, I guess I'll be better on my own for some time
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blackeneddove
My mom does this to me. I never knew it had a name, or was a thing. It’s just how she is and always has been. I don’t think she does it on purpose, but I can see from watching this video how harmful it can be and why I oftentimes feel the way I do with her. I love my mom a lot, and I think she just didn’t learn good communication skills as a child.
I have been learning that some elements of poor communication have unfortunately been passed down to me, by way of not having parents to teach me as they didn’t learn from their parents either.
Watching videos like this helps me understand more and I have been working hard to become better so that I can break this cycle for my future partner, and for my children if I ever have children of my own.
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My mom does this to me. I never knew it had a name, or was a thing. It’s just how she is and always has been. I don’t think she does it on purpose, but I can see from watching this video how harmful it can be and why I oftentimes feel the way I do with her. I love my mom a lot, and I think she just didn’t learn good communication skills as a child.
I have been learning that some elements of poor communication have unfortunately been passed down to me, by way of not having parents to teach me as they didn’t learn from their parents either.
Watching videos like this helps me understand more and I have been working hard to become better so that I can break this cycle for my future partner, and for my children if I ever have children of my own.
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Tohiro-Chan
Thank you for this video, about a year ago I was dating someone who fits in with some of these, the biggest one being silent treatment. She'd disappear for days at a time without a word and after returning would say anything like 'i was busy' or 'needed alone time' and never give a full explanation. I was always giving and giving and giving, and then 7 months in she ends it saying 'I cant handle always making you upset' and sometime after that she also said i could still visit her in her country sometime if i wanted, but I cried for an hour straight after that, and now I find that she removed me from her friends list on discord so like, what was I to her I guess I didn't mean much if she decided to remove my from her friends list
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Thank you for this video, about a year ago I was dating someone who fits in with some of these, the biggest one being silent treatment. She'd disappear for days at a time without a word and after returning would say anything like 'i was busy' or 'needed alone time' and never give a full explanation. I was always giving and giving and giving, and then 7 months in she ends it saying 'I cant handle always making you upset' and sometime after that she also said i could still visit her in her country sometime if i wanted, but I cried for an hour straight after that, and now I find that she removed me from her friends list on discord so like, what was I to her I guess I didn't mean much if she decided to remove my from her friends list
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arcanesiren629
I had no idea that I was unintentionally doing performative helplessness. I used to tell people about a material item I was interested in getting, but couldn't afford it, and they would offer to buy it for me, much to my surprise. I always rejected their offer too, unless they insisted. I mean, it's nice of them to offer, but I always feel bad because it was never my intention to manipulate them into buying things for me I stopped doing it ages ago, but this video helped me realize that it was part of dry begging. Now I know to truly never do it again.
Unintentional manipulation is so. ugh Really trying to be aware in the moment whenever I do or say something these days, lol.
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I had no idea that I was unintentionally doing performative helplessness. I used to tell people about a material item I was interested in getting, but couldn't afford it, and they would offer to buy it for me, much to my surprise. I always rejected their offer too, unless they insisted. I mean, it's nice of them to offer, but I always feel bad because it was never my intention to manipulate them into buying things for me I stopped doing it ages ago, but this video helped me realize that it was part of dry begging. Now I know to truly never do it again.
Unintentional manipulation is so. ugh Really trying to be aware in the moment whenever I do or say something these days, lol.
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Chrisler. SweetEra
As simple as that, I don't do that to poeple so I won't accept in my life someone who act like that with me. Always remind myself that I deserve love, acceptance, peace and kindness if your behaviour doesn't fall in this 4 categories them, we are not compatibles.
I used to experience all of this manipulator tactics even more, in all my relations family, friends, love, so I know them well. Hopefully i had long therapy and this type of game i learn to challenge them and the first part of my answer is the way i grow up in my journey. I don't supporte anymore this type of behaviour and don't take them personnal neither.
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As simple as that, I don't do that to poeple so I won't accept in my life someone who act like that with me. Always remind myself that I deserve love, acceptance, peace and kindness if your behaviour doesn't fall in this 4 categories them, we are not compatibles.
I used to experience all of this manipulator tactics even more, in all my relations family, friends, love, so I know them well. Hopefully i had long therapy and this type of game i learn to challenge them and the first part of my answer is the way i grow up in my journey. I don't supporte anymore this type of behaviour and don't take them personnal neither.
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demonic_banshee
What if one notices these signs in their own behaviour How can one break these habits I don't think I'm exactly like this, but I do have some tendencies, like the performative helplessness. I don't expect to be helped, but I hope for it. Bc doing stuff myself is either tiring or even overwhelming, depending on what is to come. And I really enjoy being helped, bc it helps be feel like I'm worth it. I've experienced neglecting in past relationships (friendships, family. So every time someone makes me feel like I'm worth the effort it, well, gives me self worth. Building confidence is so. hard.
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What if one notices these signs in their own behaviour How can one break these habits I don't think I'm exactly like this, but I do have some tendencies, like the performative helplessness. I don't expect to be helped, but I hope for it. Bc doing stuff myself is either tiring or even overwhelming, depending on what is to come. And I really enjoy being helped, bc it helps be feel like I'm worth it. I've experienced neglecting in past relationships (friendships, family. So every time someone makes me feel like I'm worth the effort it, well, gives me self worth. Building confidence is so. hard.
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psych2go
Can you make a video on how to become someones close friend and make them want to hang out with you voluntarily and pick you for school projects voluntarily when you only know their name and there in your class and you only sometimes talk when you're put in the same group for a project when the teacher picks groups also she also just talk to you sometimes randomly questions like what did you get at the trade fair
Some additional things I want to add are:
I don't want to be close friends with her friend group, just her.
Sorry, I know this is really long
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Can you make a video on how to become someones close friend and make them want to hang out with you voluntarily and pick you for school projects voluntarily when you only know their name and there in your class and you only sometimes talk when you're put in the same group for a project when the teacher picks groups also she also just talk to you sometimes randomly questions like what did you get at the trade fair
Some additional things I want to add are:
I don't want to be close friends with her friend group, just her.
Sorry, I know this is really long
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zinis
I have a friend who has done performative helplessness as long as I have know them. I have tried to address it with them by trying to build them up with you can do it or just letting them know about their actions, but it only leads them to move into guilt tripping stating that no one cares about them or no one wants to see me win. Part of me wants to keep the friendship due to the fun times, but I am tired. I want to focus on myself, but that feels selfish. And I am starting to resent them, which feels misplaced.
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I have a friend who has done performative helplessness as long as I have know them. I have tried to address it with them by trying to build them up with you can do it or just letting them know about their actions, but it only leads them to move into guilt tripping stating that no one cares about them or no one wants to see me win. Part of me wants to keep the friendship due to the fun times, but I am tired. I want to focus on myself, but that feels selfish. And I am starting to resent them, which feels misplaced.
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gossipgirlaria
yall i rlly need help. my crush confessed 2 months ago and literally nothing has happened. we've had a couple of conversations and a couple hi's and bye's but otherwise nothing but its cause hes so scared of me. i've said all those hi and bye and conversations yet all hes said is one bye and im a bit tired of going this slow. its good to take your time but this is way too slow and i want to hangout with him just i feel like its gonna be so awkward. i really dk what to do help.
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yall i rlly need help. my crush confessed 2 months ago and literally nothing has happened. we've had a couple of conversations and a couple hi's and bye's but otherwise nothing but its cause hes so scared of me. i've said all those hi and bye and conversations yet all hes said is one bye and im a bit tired of going this slow. its good to take your time but this is way too slow and i want to hangout with him just i feel like its gonna be so awkward. i really dk what to do help.
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nickjee
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
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Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
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psych2go
I noticed I could be a dry beggar, but the reason for this is because my partner does forget when I ask him for something so I tend to just hint it in fear of rejection and lower my expectations I have had this dynamic in almost all my relationships even platonic and family ones where I say my need explicitly and they say ok but never do and when I ask them on it again they yell at me or say they already did something else that is not what I wanted.
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I noticed I could be a dry beggar, but the reason for this is because my partner does forget when I ask him for something so I tend to just hint it in fear of rejection and lower my expectations I have had this dynamic in almost all my relationships even platonic and family ones where I say my need explicitly and they say ok but never do and when I ask them on it again they yell at me or say they already did something else that is not what I wanted.
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samuvelsam455
so my friends read this book called Magnetic Aura and they all started acting way more confidentone got a job they didn’t even apply for, another’s meeting all these amazing people who actually lift them up. it’s like something shifted in their vibe, not in a flashy way, just subtle and real. it’s wild tho, this book keeps getting removed so fast cuz it’s apparently too powerfulgood luck finding it if you’re curious.
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so my friends read this book called Magnetic Aura and they all started acting way more confidentone got a job they didn’t even apply for, another’s meeting all these amazing people who actually lift them up. it’s like something shifted in their vibe, not in a flashy way, just subtle and real. it’s wild tho, this book keeps getting removed so fast cuz it’s apparently too powerfulgood luck finding it if you’re curious.
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Losaddos
sometimes my girl turns really cold when I spend time with friends or when I tell her that I am busy or just want to have some time for myself. I feel like she doesn’t want to ask for attention and is very sensitive to rejection. To me it feels tho as if I disappoint her if I don’t read between the lines and call her/give her attention. I can’t really enjoy my time for myself when she acts like this. I don’t know what to do.
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sometimes my girl turns really cold when I spend time with friends or when I tell her that I am busy or just want to have some time for myself. I feel like she doesn’t want to ask for attention and is very sensitive to rejection. To me it feels tho as if I disappoint her if I don’t read between the lines and call her/give her attention. I can’t really enjoy my time for myself when she acts like this. I don’t know what to do.
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kaidanariko
This is my mother. She dry begged for me to hang her photos for EIGHT. MONTHS. She finally straight forward asked me. I said sure when I get a chance. She said and you’ve not had a chance the past 8 months I say no you didn’t ask me and all she says is you used to be able to know what I needed and read my mind. Why are you so distant! Like. What. I’m a 36yo mother. You’re quite capable of using words if my 6yo can
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This is my mother. She dry begged for me to hang her photos for EIGHT. MONTHS. She finally straight forward asked me. I said sure when I get a chance. She said and you’ve not had a chance the past 8 months I say no you didn’t ask me and all she says is you used to be able to know what I needed and read my mind. Why are you so distant! Like. What. I’m a 36yo mother. You’re quite capable of using words if my 6yo can
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srgamer8048
i used to think all these energy books were just hype, but then i heard about Magnetic Aura from friends who suddenly seemed calmer, more in control, like they weren’t letting stress or negativity mess with them anymore. it’s not magic or anything, but i can’t ignore the changes i’ve seen in them since they read it. it’s hard to track down tho, so if you’re curious, you’ll need to dig a little.
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i used to think all these energy books were just hype, but then i heard about Magnetic Aura from friends who suddenly seemed calmer, more in control, like they weren’t letting stress or negativity mess with them anymore. it’s not magic or anything, but i can’t ignore the changes i’ve seen in them since they read it. it’s hard to track down tho, so if you’re curious, you’ll need to dig a little.
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spiderfish989
Most of my family members are using dry begging rather than telling it directly. It created an illusion that every word has a meaning under the surface and if I don't turn into a machine that converts these signs into useful information then I can't protect myself from being hurt. Well, I feel like a machine now and the pain didn't go away but feels less painful after experiencing it most of the time
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Most of my family members are using dry begging rather than telling it directly. It created an illusion that every word has a meaning under the surface and if I don't turn into a machine that converts these signs into useful information then I can't protect myself from being hurt. Well, I feel like a machine now and the pain didn't go away but feels less painful after experiencing it most of the time
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LeeGee-p1v
Is it really that bad to want your partner to do something without being told directly For example for valentines day I did the first thing with my partner and also have shown him a picture of earrings saying ohh they are so pretty (note I can buy these things very much myself, these things are also not expensive. I did this so that if he wants to gift something it’s easier for him to chose something.
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Is it really that bad to want your partner to do something without being told directly For example for valentines day I did the first thing with my partner and also have shown him a picture of earrings saying ohh they are so pretty (note I can buy these things very much myself, these things are also not expensive. I did this so that if he wants to gift something it’s easier for him to chose something.
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AndreFrox
Fell for my best friend, it was unreciprocated and everything I wanted to do for them cause I cared felt like dry begging. At the same time she felt like I was expecting too much and I asked for too much, what she did for me was never enough. It was a shitty situation, like we were both dry begging and it was in majority my fault i think. I didn't know how we could have fixed that without parting away
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Fell for my best friend, it was unreciprocated and everything I wanted to do for them cause I cared felt like dry begging. At the same time she felt like I was expecting too much and I asked for too much, what she did for me was never enough. It was a shitty situation, like we were both dry begging and it was in majority my fault i think. I didn't know how we could have fixed that without parting away
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psych2go
I find this back and forth with my son is very toxic behavior and I only want what's best for him but I find myself becoming irritated that we're still stuck in this mud and I don't know what it is I should be doing but I somehow can't get through to him, my relationship with him might be too far gone to save I'm to blame too, it's not just him
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I find this back and forth with my son is very toxic behavior and I only want what's best for him but I find myself becoming irritated that we're still stuck in this mud and I don't know what it is I should be doing but I somehow can't get through to him, my relationship with him might be too far gone to save I'm to blame too, it's not just him
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