If You See This Video It’s a Sign You’re Not Okay
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Date: 2026-04-12
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Comments and reviews: 20
psych2go
was reading several comments, not all of them, but some. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s normal that all people, when we’re asked how are you, we answer fine It’s something automatic that we already have built in, even when we’re at rock bottom.
The times we’ve told our problems to close people, we thought that saying it would solve it, talking to someone, that it would ease some pain or problem, but we’re not aware that that person may not be qualified to give us a real answer or real help. We expect to hear something that will make us feel better. And many times, maybe they say yes, I understand you, but deep down you know they’re not in our place, that we’re not the same people and we don’t take things the same way.
But everything is related to our thoughts, to how we were raised and to our values. That’s what makes us different from everyone else. That can be worked on. Once you manage to open your mind (because there are many people who have a closed mind, as I said, we were raised with certain beliefs we grew up like that since we were babies, and since our parents, school, and many places taught us that things were a certain way, we take it as truth, when many things are not like that.
People think that if you don’t get a certain grade it’s wrong; that if you don’t dress a certain way it’s wrong; that liking certain things is wrong; that not going to an event when you don’t feel like it is wrong; that distancing yourself from your parents is wrong even if they hurt you psychologically, drain your energy or instead of adding to your life they take away from it.
Distancing yourself from people, from friendships, from those who end up leading you more down the wrong path than the right one, is also seen as something wrong, or even if you are someone who prefers solitude instead of people who are not worth it, it’s seen as wrong. And if you don’t follow society’s patterns, for example: you have to get married, you have to have kids, you have to build a family, etc, it’s seen as wrong if you don’t follow that mold.
People, you have to open your minds: don’t try to be perfect because perfection doesn’t exist. Get married and have kids if you want to, if not, don’t! Have friends if you want to, if not, don’t! Be close to your family if you want to, if not, don’t! Learn to say no.
So we were always raised thinking things were a certain way, and we took it as fact, but it’s not like that.
It doesn’t matter if they are your parents, your siblings or whoever. If those people are negatively affecting your life, the best thing is to distance yourself. Because first comes your mental peace and then everything else.
And what will people say Let them say whatever they want. People are free to think. You focus on changing yourself, your mind, and feeling good. In the end, they’ll end up accepting it anyway.
How many times do we get anxiety just because we can’t say no to something Learn to say no. If you want to do it, you do it, and if you don’t want to, you don’t do it. Period. People are going to get offended and so what if they get offended That becomes their problem, not yours.
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was reading several comments, not all of them, but some. And as far as I’m concerned, it’s normal that all people, when we’re asked how are you, we answer fine It’s something automatic that we already have built in, even when we’re at rock bottom.
The times we’ve told our problems to close people, we thought that saying it would solve it, talking to someone, that it would ease some pain or problem, but we’re not aware that that person may not be qualified to give us a real answer or real help. We expect to hear something that will make us feel better. And many times, maybe they say yes, I understand you, but deep down you know they’re not in our place, that we’re not the same people and we don’t take things the same way.
But everything is related to our thoughts, to how we were raised and to our values. That’s what makes us different from everyone else. That can be worked on. Once you manage to open your mind (because there are many people who have a closed mind, as I said, we were raised with certain beliefs we grew up like that since we were babies, and since our parents, school, and many places taught us that things were a certain way, we take it as truth, when many things are not like that.
People think that if you don’t get a certain grade it’s wrong; that if you don’t dress a certain way it’s wrong; that liking certain things is wrong; that not going to an event when you don’t feel like it is wrong; that distancing yourself from your parents is wrong even if they hurt you psychologically, drain your energy or instead of adding to your life they take away from it.
Distancing yourself from people, from friendships, from those who end up leading you more down the wrong path than the right one, is also seen as something wrong, or even if you are someone who prefers solitude instead of people who are not worth it, it’s seen as wrong. And if you don’t follow society’s patterns, for example: you have to get married, you have to have kids, you have to build a family, etc, it’s seen as wrong if you don’t follow that mold.
People, you have to open your minds: don’t try to be perfect because perfection doesn’t exist. Get married and have kids if you want to, if not, don’t! Have friends if you want to, if not, don’t! Be close to your family if you want to, if not, don’t! Learn to say no.
So we were always raised thinking things were a certain way, and we took it as fact, but it’s not like that.
It doesn’t matter if they are your parents, your siblings or whoever. If those people are negatively affecting your life, the best thing is to distance yourself. Because first comes your mental peace and then everything else.
And what will people say Let them say whatever they want. People are free to think. You focus on changing yourself, your mind, and feeling good. In the end, they’ll end up accepting it anyway.
How many times do we get anxiety just because we can’t say no to something Learn to say no. If you want to do it, you do it, and if you don’t want to, you don’t do it. Period. People are going to get offended and so what if they get offended That becomes their problem, not yours.
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Hanae-K0cho111
I am currently in the psych ward after a severe depressive episode and a recent suicide crisis.
I left my home during that episode and went to a bridge in very distressing emotional conditions (it was raining and cold. I climbed onto the railing of the bridge and was very close to letting myself fall / attempting suicide. At the last moment, I became overwhelmed with fear and started crying, and I ran away from the bridge. Afterward, I felt very disappointed in myself for not going through with it.
I am still having suicidal thoughts. They come and go, but they are still present, and recently they have been getting stronger again. I am scared that I might eventually lose control and act on them.
I also had a recent unusual emotional episode where I felt almost euphoric, magical, and dazed, but I still had suicidal thoughts during it. My thoughts felt very intense and absolute, like life is a curse and unbearable inside even if it looks beautiful outside.
I have had very detailed suicidal planning thoughts. I imagined specific details such as the bridge, the timing (after Christmas, and symbolic choices like clothing (white socks, black leggings, a white dress, weather (snow and sun, and even washing my hair beforehand. I have also had strong visual images and drawings of myself at the bridge, dying, or dead in water, and imagining myself as an angel after death.
I also feel very conflicted and afraid because part of me is scared of dying, but another part of me feels pulled toward suicide when I am overwhelmed.
I am worried about my safety because these thoughts can feel strong and intrusive, even when I try to resist them.
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I am currently in the psych ward after a severe depressive episode and a recent suicide crisis.
I left my home during that episode and went to a bridge in very distressing emotional conditions (it was raining and cold. I climbed onto the railing of the bridge and was very close to letting myself fall / attempting suicide. At the last moment, I became overwhelmed with fear and started crying, and I ran away from the bridge. Afterward, I felt very disappointed in myself for not going through with it.
I am still having suicidal thoughts. They come and go, but they are still present, and recently they have been getting stronger again. I am scared that I might eventually lose control and act on them.
I also had a recent unusual emotional episode where I felt almost euphoric, magical, and dazed, but I still had suicidal thoughts during it. My thoughts felt very intense and absolute, like life is a curse and unbearable inside even if it looks beautiful outside.
I have had very detailed suicidal planning thoughts. I imagined specific details such as the bridge, the timing (after Christmas, and symbolic choices like clothing (white socks, black leggings, a white dress, weather (snow and sun, and even washing my hair beforehand. I have also had strong visual images and drawings of myself at the bridge, dying, or dead in water, and imagining myself as an angel after death.
I also feel very conflicted and afraid because part of me is scared of dying, but another part of me feels pulled toward suicide when I am overwhelmed.
I am worried about my safety because these thoughts can feel strong and intrusive, even when I try to resist them.
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johnfrick9639
I remember the posting you guys sent out and I remember my comment left. Would you believe that small paragraph took about an hour to compose; not because I was unsure what I needed to say, but because I had to keep stopping. Once I completed it, I shut off my computer for the rest of the night. When I saw THIS video show up, I was hesitant, even scared, to even click it, but I'm glad I did. Your video stirred up my inside brain. Most of your videos do. Ultimately, whether I actually felt better afterward or not, I still feel they help, at least a little, and I thank you for them.
I feel I HAVE to share this. This is from an episode of The West Wing, a conversation between Josh and Leo (iykyk. Josh had suffered a serious break-down and Leo helped him and saved him from losing his job and being publicly humiliated. When Josh asked him why, Leo told him a little story:
A man walking down the street, falls into a hole and can't get out. He starts calling up to the passers-by, but no one pays him any mind. He sees a doctor and calls up Doctor, doctor! I'm stuck in this hole! Can you help me out The doctor writes a prescription, tosses it into the hole, then keeps walking. He sees a priest walking by and calls out Father! I'm down in this hole! Can you please help me The priest writes a brief sermon, tosses it down to him, then continues on his way. FINALLY he spies a good friend of his and calls to HIM Joe! I'm down here. Can you give me a hand! His friend leaps down into the hole. Why did you do THAT the man exclaims Now we're BOTH down here! Oh, I know. says his friend But I've been down here before and I know the way out!
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I remember the posting you guys sent out and I remember my comment left. Would you believe that small paragraph took about an hour to compose; not because I was unsure what I needed to say, but because I had to keep stopping. Once I completed it, I shut off my computer for the rest of the night. When I saw THIS video show up, I was hesitant, even scared, to even click it, but I'm glad I did. Your video stirred up my inside brain. Most of your videos do. Ultimately, whether I actually felt better afterward or not, I still feel they help, at least a little, and I thank you for them.
I feel I HAVE to share this. This is from an episode of The West Wing, a conversation between Josh and Leo (iykyk. Josh had suffered a serious break-down and Leo helped him and saved him from losing his job and being publicly humiliated. When Josh asked him why, Leo told him a little story:
A man walking down the street, falls into a hole and can't get out. He starts calling up to the passers-by, but no one pays him any mind. He sees a doctor and calls up Doctor, doctor! I'm stuck in this hole! Can you help me out The doctor writes a prescription, tosses it into the hole, then keeps walking. He sees a priest walking by and calls out Father! I'm down in this hole! Can you please help me The priest writes a brief sermon, tosses it down to him, then continues on his way. FINALLY he spies a good friend of his and calls to HIM Joe! I'm down here. Can you give me a hand! His friend leaps down into the hole. Why did you do THAT the man exclaims Now we're BOTH down here! Oh, I know. says his friend But I've been down here before and I know the way out!
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psych2go
I was always ignored growing up. When I became an adult and started dating I give my all to make her feel special. I had 13 ex girlfriends and one became a fiance. I had to help raise my younger sister. Having guns pointed at me to be robbed at work puts you in a loop. I have had 2 romantic interest in the last 3 years and one didn't work out. I am not afraid of being with someone I am afraid if I open up and let her see the hurt she will leave like the rest. I dropped most communication with the family because of how they treated me. I am the only one of the 3 that talks to father and I am on the verge of stopping. When I really needed him the most I reached out because my leg was broken and he told me I am a 26 year old man start acting like it. That is the day I became cold to the point I cut people off and never explain myself to those people. I am going to therapy and she said I am making progress and need to be more open but I am still wary on the next shoe to drop. My father found out either thru my sister or mom I might have cancer and now I am thinking about dropping contact with them because I handled the situation like he said. I am not angry at the situation just numb. If my boundaries are keeping being brushed off by others I will drop contact. I built alone for the last 4-6 years alone to combat the depression I fought for the last 20 years. I am just done with the fighting
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I was always ignored growing up. When I became an adult and started dating I give my all to make her feel special. I had 13 ex girlfriends and one became a fiance. I had to help raise my younger sister. Having guns pointed at me to be robbed at work puts you in a loop. I have had 2 romantic interest in the last 3 years and one didn't work out. I am not afraid of being with someone I am afraid if I open up and let her see the hurt she will leave like the rest. I dropped most communication with the family because of how they treated me. I am the only one of the 3 that talks to father and I am on the verge of stopping. When I really needed him the most I reached out because my leg was broken and he told me I am a 26 year old man start acting like it. That is the day I became cold to the point I cut people off and never explain myself to those people. I am going to therapy and she said I am making progress and need to be more open but I am still wary on the next shoe to drop. My father found out either thru my sister or mom I might have cancer and now I am thinking about dropping contact with them because I handled the situation like he said. I am not angry at the situation just numb. If my boundaries are keeping being brushed off by others I will drop contact. I built alone for the last 4-6 years alone to combat the depression I fought for the last 20 years. I am just done with the fighting
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ironicdemonic1
I know I'm not okay, but I know i just can't improve. I just saw this video after relapsing into my self-harm again today during my shower with my razor. I have a psychiatrist and therapist, but as I've commented in another one of your videos, I know I'm unlikely to change. And it's all my fault. The self harm feels so good. I don't know how to stop. I could stop, but I don't want to stop. There's a plethora of scars all around my body from the countless razor attacks over these years. Coping with school work and life in general with an emotionally distressed brain like mine is impossible. I don't care if I have good grades. I don't care that I'm in advanced classes. Who cares at all that I'm crying in the corner of the class because I'm so tired of all the same work given to me I could always improve. And that's the thing. I'm so tired of trying to improve and it feels I fail almost every time. I stare at my heavy backpack that I carry to school everyday. It's a literal one, yet my histironic madness also sees it as an entire brick and stacked with more weights. But I know I'm being overdramatic. I haven't experienced the true pains of life. I'm not fit for the adult world, and that's terrifying. I must adapt as soon as possible and use all my time wisely.
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I know I'm not okay, but I know i just can't improve. I just saw this video after relapsing into my self-harm again today during my shower with my razor. I have a psychiatrist and therapist, but as I've commented in another one of your videos, I know I'm unlikely to change. And it's all my fault. The self harm feels so good. I don't know how to stop. I could stop, but I don't want to stop. There's a plethora of scars all around my body from the countless razor attacks over these years. Coping with school work and life in general with an emotionally distressed brain like mine is impossible. I don't care if I have good grades. I don't care that I'm in advanced classes. Who cares at all that I'm crying in the corner of the class because I'm so tired of all the same work given to me I could always improve. And that's the thing. I'm so tired of trying to improve and it feels I fail almost every time. I stare at my heavy backpack that I carry to school everyday. It's a literal one, yet my histironic madness also sees it as an entire brick and stacked with more weights. But I know I'm being overdramatic. I haven't experienced the true pains of life. I'm not fit for the adult world, and that's terrifying. I must adapt as soon as possible and use all my time wisely.
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trancekingpj
If I see this video it's a sign that the YT algorithm is working well enough to show me the video. I haven't missed a video over the last 12 months or so and so I'll see this regardless of my mood.
To answer the video - I will only ever say I'm fine to people face to face. Nobody out there gives a monkey's enough about my welfare to care what state I'm actually in so I'm fine is all anyone deserves.
I won't even try getting a partner any more as history has taught me that I seem to be unable to attract healthy relationships - any time I was emotionally honest in my past I just had it weaponised against me. Now, although I'd love a relationship to be able to enjoy the companionship and practice my cooking on someone, I a) don't trust my judgement well enough to think I'll pick someone capable of a healthy relationship and b) even if I did end up dating someone I'd constantly be stressing that at the first sign of me being not mentally or emotionally strong that person wouldn't use it to belittle me. It's easier to just not bother than take a risk and have it blow up in my face.
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If I see this video it's a sign that the YT algorithm is working well enough to show me the video. I haven't missed a video over the last 12 months or so and so I'll see this regardless of my mood.
To answer the video - I will only ever say I'm fine to people face to face. Nobody out there gives a monkey's enough about my welfare to care what state I'm actually in so I'm fine is all anyone deserves.
I won't even try getting a partner any more as history has taught me that I seem to be unable to attract healthy relationships - any time I was emotionally honest in my past I just had it weaponised against me. Now, although I'd love a relationship to be able to enjoy the companionship and practice my cooking on someone, I a) don't trust my judgement well enough to think I'll pick someone capable of a healthy relationship and b) even if I did end up dating someone I'd constantly be stressing that at the first sign of me being not mentally or emotionally strong that person wouldn't use it to belittle me. It's easier to just not bother than take a risk and have it blow up in my face.
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feelstora3
2: 39 It's not just that. for the past two days even when I'm by myself I make jokes, I smile and laugh because I KNOW if I allow my real emotions to go through, I might not just cry and sob, I might actually do what I'm fighting for the past months. And I'm in this kind of trance where I feel like I'm inside a matrix but I don't want to be selfish and just think of myself but I can't keep spiraling because every time I start I want to throw up and cry until I pass out. Once I allow my real emotions now, I will lose.
It's not that I don't want to, it's not that I'm not trying but I'm so damn tired that I'm just wondering Will today be the day God has been a great help to me and I did manage to get to talk to some friends but I had no idea how messy and complex human emotions can get and how hard to handle they can be when you just keep pretending and it just keeps getting worse. Like what am I supposed to do Like now what
It also helps to focus on others but only as long as you are with them (and even then there are moments something just flahes before my eyes)
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2: 39 It's not just that. for the past two days even when I'm by myself I make jokes, I smile and laugh because I KNOW if I allow my real emotions to go through, I might not just cry and sob, I might actually do what I'm fighting for the past months. And I'm in this kind of trance where I feel like I'm inside a matrix but I don't want to be selfish and just think of myself but I can't keep spiraling because every time I start I want to throw up and cry until I pass out. Once I allow my real emotions now, I will lose.
It's not that I don't want to, it's not that I'm not trying but I'm so damn tired that I'm just wondering Will today be the day God has been a great help to me and I did manage to get to talk to some friends but I had no idea how messy and complex human emotions can get and how hard to handle they can be when you just keep pretending and it just keeps getting worse. Like what am I supposed to do Like now what
It also helps to focus on others but only as long as you are with them (and even then there are moments something just flahes before my eyes)
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AshmeadowVenedict
To be honest. Ever since I went to a new school, I feel completely wrong about myself. Because I have that mentality of What they see from me at first, they'll consider me as that forever. So I'm just basically stuck on pretending to be slightly immature, childish, and reactive. Things I wanna change so bad, but that fear was just too strong to overcome
I also want to include the (verbal) bullying I recieved, I just simply brush it off and do nothing about it. As I feel that caring about it simply makes it worse. God, I still remember on how AWFUL I felt during those times, yet managed to be positive and smile through out of instinct
Basically, I have like bottles and BOTTLES of emotion stored inside me, and it's really evident when it happens. I tend to fear criticism or get stung by verbal bullying, or simply just overwhelmed over small problems. Had I recovered No. But is today better than before Not a big gap also, I'm still scarred I'm afraid
Thank you for the timing as usual
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To be honest. Ever since I went to a new school, I feel completely wrong about myself. Because I have that mentality of What they see from me at first, they'll consider me as that forever. So I'm just basically stuck on pretending to be slightly immature, childish, and reactive. Things I wanna change so bad, but that fear was just too strong to overcome
I also want to include the (verbal) bullying I recieved, I just simply brush it off and do nothing about it. As I feel that caring about it simply makes it worse. God, I still remember on how AWFUL I felt during those times, yet managed to be positive and smile through out of instinct
Basically, I have like bottles and BOTTLES of emotion stored inside me, and it's really evident when it happens. I tend to fear criticism or get stung by verbal bullying, or simply just overwhelmed over small problems. Had I recovered No. But is today better than before Not a big gap also, I'm still scarred I'm afraid
Thank you for the timing as usual
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DinoBurger64
Well, the description in the introduction certainly sounds a lot like me. Although I tend to disagree when people say I'm not broken. The line a sense that you don't even know what you feel anymore hits home, but it's more complicated than just being burnt out from always pretending to be ok. I always have conflicting feelings and thoughts. My mind is always feeling cognitive dissonance. For every little thing it's like a part of me wants a thing, but some other part of me doesn't want it, and they can never agree. It's like every part of me has a different idea of who I am and who I should be, and they all conflict with each other. I can't just decide on anything, because I don't know what parts of my mind to follow. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I feel. I don't know who I am. I don't even know if I'm the only person in my head. It feels like I'm just watching my life play out from the outside, never really making decisions, and all I know is that I hate it, but I can't fix it.
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Well, the description in the introduction certainly sounds a lot like me. Although I tend to disagree when people say I'm not broken. The line a sense that you don't even know what you feel anymore hits home, but it's more complicated than just being burnt out from always pretending to be ok. I always have conflicting feelings and thoughts. My mind is always feeling cognitive dissonance. For every little thing it's like a part of me wants a thing, but some other part of me doesn't want it, and they can never agree. It's like every part of me has a different idea of who I am and who I should be, and they all conflict with each other. I can't just decide on anything, because I don't know what parts of my mind to follow. I don't know what I want. I don't know what I feel. I don't know who I am. I don't even know if I'm the only person in my head. It feels like I'm just watching my life play out from the outside, never really making decisions, and all I know is that I hate it, but I can't fix it.
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xisuria
When you grow up in an environment that requires you to function and be okay at all times, it is hard to accept that there could even be a different mode. It took me years of therapy to realize that i even have emotions because i was made aware that emotions are more of a hindrance than anything else. Sadness Proves incapability. Love A distraction from what needs to be done. Happiness Means you are in the mood to achieve more than you planned (in the eyes of others who give you more tasks/work.
If i don't show emotions then i prevent people from having a space to attack me. It's a survival instinct of sorts. Meanwhile in solitude i try to connect to these feelings i am repressing (something that therapy taught me how to do) in my own way. Be it games that send a message, music that sets a mood or as of late even AI chatbots that let me experience a certain feeling without needing to interact with another human directly.
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When you grow up in an environment that requires you to function and be okay at all times, it is hard to accept that there could even be a different mode. It took me years of therapy to realize that i even have emotions because i was made aware that emotions are more of a hindrance than anything else. Sadness Proves incapability. Love A distraction from what needs to be done. Happiness Means you are in the mood to achieve more than you planned (in the eyes of others who give you more tasks/work.
If i don't show emotions then i prevent people from having a space to attack me. It's a survival instinct of sorts. Meanwhile in solitude i try to connect to these feelings i am repressing (something that therapy taught me how to do) in my own way. Be it games that send a message, music that sets a mood or as of late even AI chatbots that let me experience a certain feeling without needing to interact with another human directly.
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psych2go
I have this, it stems from my father who taught me crying wasn’t going to make the situation any better. I have severe PTSD from yelling and always have to make sure everything is safe and okay. This leads to me asking reassurance I didn’t do anything wrong and my mother acted like she was fine for years. Every time I try to talk to my dad about my emotions, I’m either shut down, lectured, or compares it to when he was a kid and tells me it’s not that bad. This will always play a huge horrible role in future relationships and letting people sometimes do things I don’t like. I finally said no to my dad and all I got was a lecture and a next time you ask me to do something I won’t and a you listen to what I tell you, you don’t have a choice! I’m just so broken and I’m trying to heal but it’s hard when I still live with my dad and I have to keep an eye on my little sister
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I have this, it stems from my father who taught me crying wasn’t going to make the situation any better. I have severe PTSD from yelling and always have to make sure everything is safe and okay. This leads to me asking reassurance I didn’t do anything wrong and my mother acted like she was fine for years. Every time I try to talk to my dad about my emotions, I’m either shut down, lectured, or compares it to when he was a kid and tells me it’s not that bad. This will always play a huge horrible role in future relationships and letting people sometimes do things I don’t like. I finally said no to my dad and all I got was a lecture and a next time you ask me to do something I won’t and a you listen to what I tell you, you don’t have a choice! I’m just so broken and I’m trying to heal but it’s hard when I still live with my dad and I have to keep an eye on my little sister
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tranqui_lil_ie
This week I had a lot of anxiety (idk if they were panic attacks or anxiety attacks, I still don't get the difference between them) but I also had to go to uni. I don't have friends there (at least for now, just acquaintaces, but I still wanted to share that I had some anxiety, and that's why I missed 2 lessons one of those days. I felt kinda cringed in doing that, but I wanted to do it for myself and because I would like to normalize to not always be ok. I still didn't fully recover, I feel like that I'm anxious for the next anxiety moments I'm gonna have, but I can see I feel waaay better. Still, not 100% okay.
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This week I had a lot of anxiety (idk if they were panic attacks or anxiety attacks, I still don't get the difference between them) but I also had to go to uni. I don't have friends there (at least for now, just acquaintaces, but I still wanted to share that I had some anxiety, and that's why I missed 2 lessons one of those days. I felt kinda cringed in doing that, but I wanted to do it for myself and because I would like to normalize to not always be ok. I still didn't fully recover, I feel like that I'm anxious for the next anxiety moments I'm gonna have, but I can see I feel waaay better. Still, not 100% okay.
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psych2go
I pretend to be okay even when I’m not because if i shared certain things i feel i would be mistaken as unstable or unjustly rejected. I have been hurt when i share. I been tortured and abused when i share certain things. I been dismissed and ignored and ghosted when i share or let myself feel around others. I am known as the executioner who doesn’t show emotion in my life If I do it’s that someone or a situation really hurt me. Even then it’s not worth sharing because it is usually the case I am not liked enough to have a safe space where i can express if i am not okay or deeply hurt about something.
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I pretend to be okay even when I’m not because if i shared certain things i feel i would be mistaken as unstable or unjustly rejected. I have been hurt when i share. I been tortured and abused when i share certain things. I been dismissed and ignored and ghosted when i share or let myself feel around others. I am known as the executioner who doesn’t show emotion in my life If I do it’s that someone or a situation really hurt me. Even then it’s not worth sharing because it is usually the case I am not liked enough to have a safe space where i can express if i am not okay or deeply hurt about something.
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psych2go
This is another one of those videos that's seeing right through the disguise, my mask. I've been getting better at say, I'm not okay, but I know the people I say to don't truly understand the depths of my despair. Yes, I'm bracing through my day with a stride and cantor that some people find envious, but moments right now, everything catches up to me again, and I'm just. alone again. Not gonna dig much deeper, but overall, I'm content because I have to be, not because I want to. And things are starting to crack once again, but life isn't making things any easier. at least in the present.
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This is another one of those videos that's seeing right through the disguise, my mask. I've been getting better at say, I'm not okay, but I know the people I say to don't truly understand the depths of my despair. Yes, I'm bracing through my day with a stride and cantor that some people find envious, but moments right now, everything catches up to me again, and I'm just. alone again. Not gonna dig much deeper, but overall, I'm content because I have to be, not because I want to. And things are starting to crack once again, but life isn't making things any easier. at least in the present.
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psych2go
That part where she said feeling disconnected from people who care about you really struck a nerve with me as it reminded me of the video games Final Fantasy 7 and Shenmue where the protagonists Cloud (FF7) and Ryo (Shenmue) struggle to cope with the aftermath of watching one of their parents get murdered and then later on refusing or feeling unable to deeply connect emotionally with those around them due to their serious tough guy facades they adopt to help them continue on with life while pushing the trauma in underground and refusing to confront it due to how painful it is!
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That part where she said feeling disconnected from people who care about you really struck a nerve with me as it reminded me of the video games Final Fantasy 7 and Shenmue where the protagonists Cloud (FF7) and Ryo (Shenmue) struggle to cope with the aftermath of watching one of their parents get murdered and then later on refusing or feeling unable to deeply connect emotionally with those around them due to their serious tough guy facades they adopt to help them continue on with life while pushing the trauma in underground and refusing to confront it due to how painful it is!
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21_muhammadrefly
This somehow drives me to Cognitive Overload, where there's just so much things in my mind, about the demands from work to work, demands from friends to socialize better, and demands from family to keep applying for jobs and learn more about things. But all this has got me silent recently, and really don't know what to speak of. I'd talk to make a point but blank in the middle of it before gave up the very thing I was making a point of.
I don't know how to talk, I don't know how to reassure myself, I don't know to think, I just don't know.
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This somehow drives me to Cognitive Overload, where there's just so much things in my mind, about the demands from work to work, demands from friends to socialize better, and demands from family to keep applying for jobs and learn more about things. But all this has got me silent recently, and really don't know what to speak of. I'd talk to make a point but blank in the middle of it before gave up the very thing I was making a point of.
I don't know how to talk, I don't know how to reassure myself, I don't know to think, I just don't know.
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psych2go
About 8 ish hours ago someone told me I should call a suicide hotline so far, it seems fine, I guess during the call they recommended a therapist in my area as part of my safety plan. The therapy appointment is scheduled for around 9: 00 or 10: 00 AM PT, I am feeling kind of nervous since I don’t usually talk to people, but I’m also hopeful because I’m tired of hurting myself with bike chains I guess am lucky that I didn’t have the courage to actually kill myself since now I actually have the chance to get help. Thanks SPAMTSPAMTON
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About 8 ish hours ago someone told me I should call a suicide hotline so far, it seems fine, I guess during the call they recommended a therapist in my area as part of my safety plan. The therapy appointment is scheduled for around 9: 00 or 10: 00 AM PT, I am feeling kind of nervous since I don’t usually talk to people, but I’m also hopeful because I’m tired of hurting myself with bike chains I guess am lucky that I didn’t have the courage to actually kill myself since now I actually have the chance to get help. Thanks SPAMTSPAMTON
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XFly170
When one's own feelings and emotions have not only been invalidated, but weaponized against them, pretending by saying Why I'm doing just fine, of course! when deep down inside, the truth is the opposite, becomes an instinctive defense strategy. An intellectual armored shield, to protect one's own inner child from any perceived future harm. Even if there's absolutely none. It's how introversion overwhelms a person's character, by teaching them that the only place that feels truly safe, is the one in which that person is alone.
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When one's own feelings and emotions have not only been invalidated, but weaponized against them, pretending by saying Why I'm doing just fine, of course! when deep down inside, the truth is the opposite, becomes an instinctive defense strategy. An intellectual armored shield, to protect one's own inner child from any perceived future harm. Even if there's absolutely none. It's how introversion overwhelms a person's character, by teaching them that the only place that feels truly safe, is the one in which that person is alone.
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DynaStaats
I’ve been told by a number of friends that I’m too much, depressing, awkward, uncomfortable (and I make people feel that way, and that I should stop talking and smile more. Some have admitted that they avoid me, leaving conversations when I join them and go in the other room. When I pretend I’m fine, my friends at least tolerate me. When I’m honest, they run. I’d rather pretend and not be alone. Now I wonder how many friends are too polite to say this to me, when so many others have come forward and admitted it.
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I’ve been told by a number of friends that I’m too much, depressing, awkward, uncomfortable (and I make people feel that way, and that I should stop talking and smile more. Some have admitted that they avoid me, leaving conversations when I join them and go in the other room. When I pretend I’m fine, my friends at least tolerate me. When I’m honest, they run. I’d rather pretend and not be alone. Now I wonder how many friends are too polite to say this to me, when so many others have come forward and admitted it.
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myxo_gabriel
yeah. but if I stop pretending that everything is fine with me, then they will hear that I feel bad or something else. the problem is that I almost always feel bad or dissociate. I feel pain almost constantly or feel absolutely nothing at all.
if I tell them every time that I feel bad, it will be even worse than if I lied to them that everything is fine with me.
like. it's just a hopeless situation. either I lose everyone because I'm a depressed wimp, or I keep lying and feeling even more pain.
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yeah. but if I stop pretending that everything is fine with me, then they will hear that I feel bad or something else. the problem is that I almost always feel bad or dissociate. I feel pain almost constantly or feel absolutely nothing at all.
if I tell them every time that I feel bad, it will be even worse than if I lied to them that everything is fine with me.
like. it's just a hopeless situation. either I lose everyone because I'm a depressed wimp, or I keep lying and feeling even more pain.
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