5 Signs You Need to Say No More Often (Boundaries)
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
The
To your question, for me It was two days ago when my boss wrote to me and said, Please do the presentation on November xx instead of the original plan of next week. This is the first time I said no to him. I also wrote to him in the same message, Your email made me sad because you did not ask my schedule before making a decision of change. I felt no sense of care for me in that email. So, I am writing this email with sadness in my heart. As for the schedule, I am not available on. This whole process made me nervous but ultimately feel amazing! Because I was able to be honest with myself that I practiced perhaps for the first time in my forty years of my life in this kind of particular context. The point was not to express complaints but to express my feelings. Recognizing me having successfully expressed my feelings made me feel that I am worthy to live. So, it feels like rapidly transforming my personal issue of having low-selfesteem and general anxiety over my existence.
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To your question, for me It was two days ago when my boss wrote to me and said, Please do the presentation on November xx instead of the original plan of next week. This is the first time I said no to him. I also wrote to him in the same message, Your email made me sad because you did not ask my schedule before making a decision of change. I felt no sense of care for me in that email. So, I am writing this email with sadness in my heart. As for the schedule, I am not available on. This whole process made me nervous but ultimately feel amazing! Because I was able to be honest with myself that I practiced perhaps for the first time in my forty years of my life in this kind of particular context. The point was not to express complaints but to express my feelings. Recognizing me having successfully expressed my feelings made me feel that I am worthy to live. So, it feels like rapidly transforming my personal issue of having low-selfesteem and general anxiety over my existence.
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BlackJack
There is one girl that likes me. She writes me everyday and we go for a walk sometimes. I start felling I like her too and dont want to be just friends. I also thing she would like to be my gf, as I see how she acts. But there is a problem. Im 21 and shes 16. I dont want anyone, especially her to think that some older guy is trying to use her. Personally, I am disgusted to hear such stories. Shes cute and kind and she looks like my classmates (in a sense she is not child) and I enjoy spending time with her. But I already feel little jealous when she talks about other boys in her life.
So I think I will stop investing any time and effort and hope she eventually stops too. I also see variant to tell her what I think, but I I doubt that it is better. Its so hard for me to say No right now: (
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There is one girl that likes me. She writes me everyday and we go for a walk sometimes. I start felling I like her too and dont want to be just friends. I also thing she would like to be my gf, as I see how she acts. But there is a problem. Im 21 and shes 16. I dont want anyone, especially her to think that some older guy is trying to use her. Personally, I am disgusted to hear such stories. Shes cute and kind and she looks like my classmates (in a sense she is not child) and I enjoy spending time with her. But I already feel little jealous when she talks about other boys in her life.
So I think I will stop investing any time and effort and hope she eventually stops too. I also see variant to tell her what I think, but I I doubt that it is better. Its so hard for me to say No right now: (
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Ryan
I quit my job recently because I was too reliable never said no to anything. Additional tasks - extra shifts. But when I wanted to use my 3 weeks vacation time all at once to go somewhere, a roadtrip. They denied it. said my co-worker can't handle working more than 4 days straight. they didn't have anyone as reliable as I was & didn't want to train any existing employees how to do my tasks at work. So I quit.
A week after I quit I learned a coworker got to go away out of country for over a week. That really upset me.
So I've developed healthy workplace boundaries since then for my future job. Not currently working. Too stressed out from my last job.
I tried working a overnight job since then but I couldn't handle the night shifts.
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I quit my job recently because I was too reliable never said no to anything. Additional tasks - extra shifts. But when I wanted to use my 3 weeks vacation time all at once to go somewhere, a roadtrip. They denied it. said my co-worker can't handle working more than 4 days straight. they didn't have anyone as reliable as I was & didn't want to train any existing employees how to do my tasks at work. So I quit.
A week after I quit I learned a coworker got to go away out of country for over a week. That really upset me.
So I've developed healthy workplace boundaries since then for my future job. Not currently working. Too stressed out from my last job.
I tried working a overnight job since then but I couldn't handle the night shifts.
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Lady
I have to remind my friend that it is okay to say, No to a friend. He is what I called, a Bulter friend. Always working for people and putting himself second. He would always volunteer to take friends to work, or give them money, or take them to see family even when his friends don't ask for such things. I get that you don't want your friends to suffer the headaches of life but it's not your responsibility to put yourself out there like that all the time. Neglecting yourself builds up over time and soon those friends who you spend all your free time helping you will be the same friends who never check in on you.
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I have to remind my friend that it is okay to say, No to a friend. He is what I called, a Bulter friend. Always working for people and putting himself second. He would always volunteer to take friends to work, or give them money, or take them to see family even when his friends don't ask for such things. I get that you don't want your friends to suffer the headaches of life but it's not your responsibility to put yourself out there like that all the time. Neglecting yourself builds up over time and soon those friends who you spend all your free time helping you will be the same friends who never check in on you.
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mamado69
So what I understood is when asked for a favor or smtg, I check these things:
-Do I feel like doing this?
-is it time consuming for me?
-is too stressful?
-what am I sacrificing here?
-is the one asking going to the same for me, or I'm just going to cross the ocean meanwhile they won't even jump a puddle for me?
And if u say no and the other side start criticising u because u don't offer help while they do the same thing. That's manipulation, cut that relationship if possible, and if it's not possible for u then just stick to your boundaries and stop caring about the criticism.
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So what I understood is when asked for a favor or smtg, I check these things:
-Do I feel like doing this?
-is it time consuming for me?
-is too stressful?
-what am I sacrificing here?
-is the one asking going to the same for me, or I'm just going to cross the ocean meanwhile they won't even jump a puddle for me?
And if u say no and the other side start criticising u because u don't offer help while they do the same thing. That's manipulation, cut that relationship if possible, and if it's not possible for u then just stick to your boundaries and stop caring about the criticism.
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Cloud
I learned to say no with time, but recently I've been under a lot of stress due to work. I try my best but it's overwhelming, as I'm doing a work/ learning job where I need to pass an exam. I hardly have time for myself these days, and people would just say you have to learn to deal with it. It's hard especially when your anxiety is rocket high, you work over time just to get things done, and can't find time to do other things you need to do, in my case learning, and still have time for yourself
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I learned to say no with time, but recently I've been under a lot of stress due to work. I try my best but it's overwhelming, as I'm doing a work/ learning job where I need to pass an exam. I hardly have time for myself these days, and people would just say you have to learn to deal with it. It's hard especially when your anxiety is rocket high, you work over time just to get things done, and can't find time to do other things you need to do, in my case learning, and still have time for yourself
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Derek
Saying No can be difficult if you fear rejection because it can feel like you're the one rejecting someone else. but are you really?
You may not be the first person saying no to someone you're afraid to say it to.
If you want to make it easier for the person hearing this word, point out the behavior that you are rejecting, not their identity.
You can also try saying something else that may land better (depending on the situation): maybe later
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Saying No can be difficult if you fear rejection because it can feel like you're the one rejecting someone else. but are you really?
You may not be the first person saying no to someone you're afraid to say it to.
If you want to make it easier for the person hearing this word, point out the behavior that you are rejecting, not their identity.
You can also try saying something else that may land better (depending on the situation): maybe later
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ChangedWinds
I have difficulty saying no when my ex asks for money when I'm raising our child alone. My anxiety goes through the roof when she contacts me. Today was the first time I said no to her cause my child and I were playing Roblox together and I told him I'm talking to his other parent. He straight up told me to just say no. I feel weak that my ex still hurts me to this day, but it felt amazing to say no and to maintain our boundaries.
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I have difficulty saying no when my ex asks for money when I'm raising our child alone. My anxiety goes through the roof when she contacts me. Today was the first time I said no to her cause my child and I were playing Roblox together and I told him I'm talking to his other parent. He straight up told me to just say no. I feel weak that my ex still hurts me to this day, but it felt amazing to say no and to maintain our boundaries.
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Kloudy
Like all the other people I also have a VERY hard time saying no.
I ever so rarely had an option to say no or to defend my self/prove my point in my childhood
My mom always had to be right even when I prove my point my mom never really apologize
Im just gonna stop it there bc if I dont its just gonna be a rant about me venting
But much luv to everyone here! Hope ur doing well!
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Like all the other people I also have a VERY hard time saying no.
I ever so rarely had an option to say no or to defend my self/prove my point in my childhood
My mom always had to be right even when I prove my point my mom never really apologize
Im just gonna stop it there bc if I dont its just gonna be a rant about me venting
But much luv to everyone here! Hope ur doing well!
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Nick
You no I've never said NO to NBK alias NK. Whenever they asked for it was always a YES from my side. I mean for their smile and happiness I used to say YES even though I didn't had time or wasn't my approval from within. It was just to keep them happy.
If I'd set boundaries then they would have kept sitting frowning and upset which wouldn't have kept me comfortable.
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You no I've never said NO to NBK alias NK. Whenever they asked for it was always a YES from my side. I mean for their smile and happiness I used to say YES even though I didn't had time or wasn't my approval from within. It was just to keep them happy.
If I'd set boundaries then they would have kept sitting frowning and upset which wouldn't have kept me comfortable.
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Brixie
Its hard for me to say no, especially to my close friend. She always asks for things from me even when Im really busy. When I say no, she will start begging and might get on her knees. I start to feel really guilty but I feel like I cant control my boundaries anymore. I let her take my food, borrow a lot of things, get really close to me, ext.
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Its hard for me to say no, especially to my close friend. She always asks for things from me even when Im really busy. When I say no, she will start begging and might get on her knees. I start to feel really guilty but I feel like I cant control my boundaries anymore. I let her take my food, borrow a lot of things, get really close to me, ext.
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education
Saying 'yes' to things may bring us opportunities, but it may also lead to difficult, and, even painful situations. Thank you so much for starting with these crucial words! Yes, saying yes is how opportunities start, but it doesn't mean you should say yes to things that we feel either pushed to do, or guilted into doing.
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Saying 'yes' to things may bring us opportunities, but it may also lead to difficult, and, even painful situations. Thank you so much for starting with these crucial words! Yes, saying yes is how opportunities start, but it doesn't mean you should say yes to things that we feel either pushed to do, or guilted into doing.
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Deadly
Timestamps
1. Your body feels fatigued 0: 21
2. Your quality of work is declining 0: 58
3. You have no time for far more important things 1: 22
4. You're losing your motivation 1: 51
5. You're losing your sense of self 2: 15
Hope this helps you out.
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Timestamps
1. Your body feels fatigued 0: 21
2. Your quality of work is declining 0: 58
3. You have no time for far more important things 1: 22
4. You're losing your motivation 1: 51
5. You're losing your sense of self 2: 15
Hope this helps you out.
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Erik
I hate British folk, they have no Idea the raw Horse power that we sent you, every day. 10s of Millions of horsepower: day on day. Detroit Diesel. 70s and 71, on Landing Craft and tanks. Alison. Aircraft Motors. MILLIONS OF MEN. All for a merlin to Jack the show.
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I hate British folk, they have no Idea the raw Horse power that we sent you, every day. 10s of Millions of horsepower: day on day. Detroit Diesel. 70s and 71, on Landing Craft and tanks. Alison. Aircraft Motors. MILLIONS OF MEN. All for a merlin to Jack the show.
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superdave3000
I'm not good at saying no in fact I am having trouble saying no right now. I have a job I like but got a job offer I also like.
I've weighed the pros and cons of each and don't know how to say no to either one since overall they even out: /
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I'm not good at saying no in fact I am having trouble saying no right now. I have a job I like but got a job offer I also like.
I've weighed the pros and cons of each and don't know how to say no to either one since overall they even out: /
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CMD
Well it's better to respect people's boundaries than to annoy them.
Sometimes its better to stay quiet if you know what thete response is going to be. But if they say no to anything it would be rude to continue to pester them.
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Well it's better to respect people's boundaries than to annoy them.
Sometimes its better to stay quiet if you know what thete response is going to be. But if they say no to anything it would be rude to continue to pester them.
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Flamegamer
There are times where I was afraid to answer no to certain questions because I feel that I can handle things myself or dont think nothing dramatic is going to happen. But now I can say no and feel comfortable.
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There are times where I was afraid to answer no to certain questions because I feel that I can handle things myself or dont think nothing dramatic is going to happen. But now I can say no and feel comfortable.
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ROSSELLA
I just realized that in my life I have said too many yes. and now I feel exploited, destroyed and exhausted and I pay the consequences for my lack of attention to my needs and desires. Thanks for the reminder!
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I just realized that in my life I have said too many yes. and now I feel exploited, destroyed and exhausted and I pay the consequences for my lack of attention to my needs and desires. Thanks for the reminder!
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Van
Yes to all. Been there. The final no was the big yes to me. Nice way you put that. I found them to be toxic and takers have no limits. Once the limit exceeds. Find your way solo. Its quiet but peaceful.
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Yes to all. Been there. The final no was the big yes to me. Nice way you put that. I found them to be toxic and takers have no limits. Once the limit exceeds. Find your way solo. Its quiet but peaceful.
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DumbBlobfish
There this one girl in my class who keep on asking me to get her takis. I some how cant say no cause when she look sad something just feel wrong(Note I will be giving her takis tomorrow)
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There this one girl in my class who keep on asking me to get her takis. I some how cant say no cause when she look sad something just feel wrong(Note I will be giving her takis tomorrow)
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ShoSho
You are like one step ahead! i literally talked about having a hard time saying no and how I'm always never open about myself and end up in bad situation's thanks for boosting my motivation
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You are like one step ahead! i literally talked about having a hard time saying no and how I'm always never open about myself and end up in bad situation's thanks for boosting my motivation
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vivi
Thank you for the videoI say yes to people because I hate disappointing people, to think about it I havent said no in a while, I will say it if my body tells me
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Thank you for the videoI say yes to people because I hate disappointing people, to think about it I havent said no in a while, I will say it if my body tells me
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Tobehonest
I refuse to be a slave to anyone. Since I learn to ghost out people, my life has changed to greatness. I don't even have time to say no, I block access.
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I refuse to be a slave to anyone. Since I learn to ghost out people, my life has changed to greatness. I don't even have time to say no, I block access.
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Matthew
I dont really find it hard to say no to people, but a struggle with letting people close to me. I always keep people at a arms length, im not sure why tho
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I dont really find it hard to say no to people, but a struggle with letting people close to me. I always keep people at a arms length, im not sure why tho
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Hana-
I have a question, please feel free to answer with kindness:
Is saying yes and people pleasing the same thing?
Something I do struggle with.
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I have a question, please feel free to answer with kindness:
Is saying yes and people pleasing the same thing?
Something I do struggle with.
reply
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