Why You Feel Numb To Love
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Date: 2024-10-27
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Comments and reviews: 20
unnamedweeper
The timing is so, so painful.
Just when I thought I had finally fallen in love for the first time EVER, I hadn't.
I'd only develloped feelings for the image of the person and the fantasy of being with them and not them as a person.
Reflecting on this helped me realize that I haven't. been treating them like a friend, but rather a means to an end.
A potential partner, that might never be.
And it hurts. It hurts like hell, and that’s ok!
For which, I intent to work on allowing my perceived romantic feelings to fade over time (given that they have shown unclear signals about whether or not they feel the same way, not romanticising them (said feelings) and again - treating my friend - like a friend.
At the end of the day, I feel guilty for being manipulative, even while I had no bad intentions in mind.
Doing this will be beneficial for both our sakes and hey - maybe someone else will roll around, once I've learned more about healthy love or expressing my feelings in a healthy way (like i wasn't, so until then! :]
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The timing is so, so painful.
Just when I thought I had finally fallen in love for the first time EVER, I hadn't.
I'd only develloped feelings for the image of the person and the fantasy of being with them and not them as a person.
Reflecting on this helped me realize that I haven't. been treating them like a friend, but rather a means to an end.
A potential partner, that might never be.
And it hurts. It hurts like hell, and that’s ok!
For which, I intent to work on allowing my perceived romantic feelings to fade over time (given that they have shown unclear signals about whether or not they feel the same way, not romanticising them (said feelings) and again - treating my friend - like a friend.
At the end of the day, I feel guilty for being manipulative, even while I had no bad intentions in mind.
Doing this will be beneficial for both our sakes and hey - maybe someone else will roll around, once I've learned more about healthy love or expressing my feelings in a healthy way (like i wasn't, so until then! :]
reply
ObliviousReality
I didn't knew I needed this vid. It kind'a hurts but I love it at the same time,
These lines just hits hard:
You're maybe trying to force yourself to love someone that you don't.
You might be on a difficult stage in your life; not just outside, but inside as well.
Sometimes, you fall in love with the wrong people, and sometimes, you don't love the right people.
It's normal to be unsure at any stage.
Your problem might not be that your numb to love, but rather that you can't relate to anyone around you. When it comes to love it takes more than just a few shared interest.
If you feel you want to love someone, that means you're capable of loving.
Maybe you aren't numb to love, but a little bit numb to a lot of positive things.
Depressive conditions can make you think you're incapable of being loved.
Love comes naturally so don't try to force it.
Also, HOWL appearing there as your example made me laugh haha
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I didn't knew I needed this vid. It kind'a hurts but I love it at the same time,
These lines just hits hard:
You're maybe trying to force yourself to love someone that you don't.
You might be on a difficult stage in your life; not just outside, but inside as well.
Sometimes, you fall in love with the wrong people, and sometimes, you don't love the right people.
It's normal to be unsure at any stage.
Your problem might not be that your numb to love, but rather that you can't relate to anyone around you. When it comes to love it takes more than just a few shared interest.
If you feel you want to love someone, that means you're capable of loving.
Maybe you aren't numb to love, but a little bit numb to a lot of positive things.
Depressive conditions can make you think you're incapable of being loved.
Love comes naturally so don't try to force it.
Also, HOWL appearing there as your example made me laugh haha
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poopsyoopsy9063
I started dating again after 8 years of being in an abusive relationship and I’ve met a few people that I thought I loved, looking back I probably shouldn’t have been so quick to fall in love with people I barely knew and just met but after being abused for 8 years you wanna feel love again. I became addicted to online dating and had all the apps downloaded, I would go on multiple dates a day just to feel something again, I became so detached from people and from myself by doing this. I guess I was chasing that same feeling I got when I first meet someone and fall in love. Fast forward to now almost a year later I have became so detached from everyone around me and even people that show me love and wanted to love me, I just couldn’t bond with people anymore, I feel like I’m broken and don’t know how to love anymore.
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I started dating again after 8 years of being in an abusive relationship and I’ve met a few people that I thought I loved, looking back I probably shouldn’t have been so quick to fall in love with people I barely knew and just met but after being abused for 8 years you wanna feel love again. I became addicted to online dating and had all the apps downloaded, I would go on multiple dates a day just to feel something again, I became so detached from people and from myself by doing this. I guess I was chasing that same feeling I got when I first meet someone and fall in love. Fast forward to now almost a year later I have became so detached from everyone around me and even people that show me love and wanted to love me, I just couldn’t bond with people anymore, I feel like I’m broken and don’t know how to love anymore.
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TheSimpisReal
I’m 23, and I don’t even think I’ve had a crush on anyone before. There was once a boy who I THOUGHT I had a crush on, I’d get nervous around him, self conscious when he would sit next to me, symptoms that seem like having a crush on someone (right. But after he started to date my friend, I stopped feeling that way towards him, and didn’t really feel sad or angry that he was dating my friend.
In fact, I felt more comfortable now being around him now that he was dating her.
I still think about it today. Because if I did like him (based on what I felt around him) why did I not feel any negative emotion People feel sad, angry, jealous, or any negative emotion to when their crush dates someone else, no I didn’t feel any of those things, so does that mean I never liked him
I really am strange
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I’m 23, and I don’t even think I’ve had a crush on anyone before. There was once a boy who I THOUGHT I had a crush on, I’d get nervous around him, self conscious when he would sit next to me, symptoms that seem like having a crush on someone (right. But after he started to date my friend, I stopped feeling that way towards him, and didn’t really feel sad or angry that he was dating my friend.
In fact, I felt more comfortable now being around him now that he was dating her.
I still think about it today. Because if I did like him (based on what I felt around him) why did I not feel any negative emotion People feel sad, angry, jealous, or any negative emotion to when their crush dates someone else, no I didn’t feel any of those things, so does that mean I never liked him
I really am strange
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LoneWolf0397
Hey psych2go, I have abit of a long question so please bear with me. Why have i felt numb and disconnected from love, romance, and people(family excluded. Could it be because i spent most of my young life in and out of hospitals since i was 6, and had surgery in 2007 when i was 9 going on 10. It's like i cant make connections. i dont trust people, and as i said, i didn't have much of a social or school life i had to grow up fast. Would that affect me, and how exactly Sorry for the long question its something ive tried to work out all my life so far (currently 26 at the time of this post) and now i think its time to ask for an outside prospective on this as im looking for an answer to this. Thank you for taking the time to read this and helping me if you can i appreciate it.
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Hey psych2go, I have abit of a long question so please bear with me. Why have i felt numb and disconnected from love, romance, and people(family excluded. Could it be because i spent most of my young life in and out of hospitals since i was 6, and had surgery in 2007 when i was 9 going on 10. It's like i cant make connections. i dont trust people, and as i said, i didn't have much of a social or school life i had to grow up fast. Would that affect me, and how exactly Sorry for the long question its something ive tried to work out all my life so far (currently 26 at the time of this post) and now i think its time to ask for an outside prospective on this as im looking for an answer to this. Thank you for taking the time to read this and helping me if you can i appreciate it.
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jokeloy4916
I once had a girlfried, she was nice and all that. But when i grew up a little, things turned, we agrued about stuffs and it leads to our seperation. I was sad and alone that time till i found myself another lover out of her friends’ friends’ group. She was fine, i supposed. But later on, i decided to stop dating her since. she has alot potential with her goals she made and i was just slowing her down.
Both of them lasted about almost an year or so but it just hurts me alot back then. After watching this vid, it really matches my problem im facing. Maybe love is not coming for me right now but later.
Thank you Psych2go for this wonderful video. Hope you post more videos like this
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I once had a girlfried, she was nice and all that. But when i grew up a little, things turned, we agrued about stuffs and it leads to our seperation. I was sad and alone that time till i found myself another lover out of her friends’ friends’ group. She was fine, i supposed. But later on, i decided to stop dating her since. she has alot potential with her goals she made and i was just slowing her down.
Both of them lasted about almost an year or so but it just hurts me alot back then. After watching this vid, it really matches my problem im facing. Maybe love is not coming for me right now but later.
Thank you Psych2go for this wonderful video. Hope you post more videos like this
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Ahr1n.
I actually cried during this. As a person with depression, I can totally relate to this. I've already experienced rejection from my crush and I still can't get over it. The weird thing is, he has different personalities so sometimes he's mean, and then other times, he's nice. Honestly, I really hate being in love because I already know that nobody likes me back. But I still thrive to love everyone. I don't even love my parents most of the time though because of how often they yell at me for the littlest things. I question why parents are like this. Why do you want us to be perfect Why can't we be ourselves Why are you trying to change who we are
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I actually cried during this. As a person with depression, I can totally relate to this. I've already experienced rejection from my crush and I still can't get over it. The weird thing is, he has different personalities so sometimes he's mean, and then other times, he's nice. Honestly, I really hate being in love because I already know that nobody likes me back. But I still thrive to love everyone. I don't even love my parents most of the time though because of how often they yell at me for the littlest things. I question why parents are like this. Why do you want us to be perfect Why can't we be ourselves Why are you trying to change who we are
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cocogoatee
I feel so deeply to this. I've been in a toxic past and I've tried to move on, stay away from love or make new friends or dates, nothing worked. Even though Im jealous of couples outside, practically hate romatic movies, even thiugh I say to my friends I hate being single and I wish to get into relationship, the moment I get that feeling for someone, the moment I get that feeling, I push it and shove it away and ignore the person. Its like I want to love but I dont want it. Its a weird mixed feeling. And weirdly I get emotionally invested in heartbreak stories more than romantic ones.
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I feel so deeply to this. I've been in a toxic past and I've tried to move on, stay away from love or make new friends or dates, nothing worked. Even though Im jealous of couples outside, practically hate romatic movies, even thiugh I say to my friends I hate being single and I wish to get into relationship, the moment I get that feeling for someone, the moment I get that feeling, I push it and shove it away and ignore the person. Its like I want to love but I dont want it. Its a weird mixed feeling. And weirdly I get emotionally invested in heartbreak stories more than romantic ones.
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SirJo_
Why is it so hard to communicate
Everyone around me can have these engaging, funny, and interesting conversations meanwhile I can only make short small talk about one piece of news that noone but me really cares about, I laugh every red moon, and I feel like it's just awkward talking to me. I feel like I only really have these good conversations online but even those are a little difficult to manage. I even struggled to formulate and type how I felt in this comment, (ain't that something. Simply put, I want to learn how to be normal conversational wise if that makes sense.
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Why is it so hard to communicate
Everyone around me can have these engaging, funny, and interesting conversations meanwhile I can only make short small talk about one piece of news that noone but me really cares about, I laugh every red moon, and I feel like it's just awkward talking to me. I feel like I only really have these good conversations online but even those are a little difficult to manage. I even struggled to formulate and type how I felt in this comment, (ain't that something. Simply put, I want to learn how to be normal conversational wise if that makes sense.
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therealswitt4554
Another reason could also be the people around you, speaking from personal experience of course, but going through all of senior year, I loved to spend time with family and friends, yet never saw anyone romantically, nothing wrong with any of them, nor me, but I guess the fish in the pond just weren't the right type of fish, and if you don't see anyone as a viable romantic partner, cheer up, you got the people around you via friendships, family, and other forms as well, you don't need a special someone, unlike what most people say.
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Another reason could also be the people around you, speaking from personal experience of course, but going through all of senior year, I loved to spend time with family and friends, yet never saw anyone romantically, nothing wrong with any of them, nor me, but I guess the fish in the pond just weren't the right type of fish, and if you don't see anyone as a viable romantic partner, cheer up, you got the people around you via friendships, family, and other forms as well, you don't need a special someone, unlike what most people say.
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psych2go
sometimes i feel like im so in love with other things in my life that there's no place for people. i love my work like anything else, it literally drives me forward in life and gives me so much please and satisfaction i fear its the only source of please and satisfaction for me. romantically i feel empty, dates feel like a chore, caring and texting feel like an appointment. people want so much: time, affection, energy. i push them away to not hurt them because i simply cant give it to them, and its been like this my whole life
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sometimes i feel like im so in love with other things in my life that there's no place for people. i love my work like anything else, it literally drives me forward in life and gives me so much please and satisfaction i fear its the only source of please and satisfaction for me. romantically i feel empty, dates feel like a chore, caring and texting feel like an appointment. people want so much: time, affection, energy. i push them away to not hurt them because i simply cant give it to them, and its been like this my whole life
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MegaManNeo
That's a decent new art style there you tried for this video As far as the topic goes, I actually question that myself a lot already. Maybe I'm really incapable to feel love since I had a rough childhood and sub-optimal relationship to my family too. Then again, I have been told by others that some of my actions towards others feel very love driven and at least towards my mother (R. I. P) and my best friend, I feel lots of love. Cared lots about other friends too in the past but they more and more left me in the dust, so. :(
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That's a decent new art style there you tried for this video As far as the topic goes, I actually question that myself a lot already. Maybe I'm really incapable to feel love since I had a rough childhood and sub-optimal relationship to my family too. Then again, I have been told by others that some of my actions towards others feel very love driven and at least towards my mother (R. I. P) and my best friend, I feel lots of love. Cared lots about other friends too in the past but they more and more left me in the dust, so. :(
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crazycat_4013
This is so perfectly timed, I've recently felt like I came to the realisation that I seem to not feel any love!
There seems to be a lack of it No matter with who, even in plantonic relationships.
I still seem to do SOME things, like appreciation for someone, but that's about it. Even then it feels like there's a feeling missing.
I do come from a rather broken home and I'm diagnosed with depression, plus I'm a very paranoid person, been told that this stuff might numb it
I don't know what to do
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This is so perfectly timed, I've recently felt like I came to the realisation that I seem to not feel any love!
There seems to be a lack of it No matter with who, even in plantonic relationships.
I still seem to do SOME things, like appreciation for someone, but that's about it. Even then it feels like there's a feeling missing.
I do come from a rather broken home and I'm diagnosed with depression, plus I'm a very paranoid person, been told that this stuff might numb it
I don't know what to do
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khrisbreezy3628
Oh man I feel this. 32 years of wondering, trying to find a special someone, imagining, watching sappy romcoms and watching real relationship moments and getting none of them leaves me with a sense of giving up on occasion. Living life without that particular form of love just becomes common and normal, but I'm not giving up and keeping my mind on the fact that change is constant and things will eventually work out in that respect!
I hope the rest of you looking for love will remember this too
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Oh man I feel this. 32 years of wondering, trying to find a special someone, imagining, watching sappy romcoms and watching real relationship moments and getting none of them leaves me with a sense of giving up on occasion. Living life without that particular form of love just becomes common and normal, but I'm not giving up and keeping my mind on the fact that change is constant and things will eventually work out in that respect!
I hope the rest of you looking for love will remember this too
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davidordaz5251
Never been kissed, never done the deed, never had a relationship am 30 and feel like life is passing me by i dont have a job currently cause of my physical condition continues to get worse every year never had any plans to the future since i feel like sometimes i just want to end it and dont see a point to keep struggling anymore am tired and frustrated with life i just want some happiness in this life even if it is only momentary guess others are more lucky than me but is what it is i suppose
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Never been kissed, never done the deed, never had a relationship am 30 and feel like life is passing me by i dont have a job currently cause of my physical condition continues to get worse every year never had any plans to the future since i feel like sometimes i just want to end it and dont see a point to keep struggling anymore am tired and frustrated with life i just want some happiness in this life even if it is only momentary guess others are more lucky than me but is what it is i suppose
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CanOfCatss
hello! i have video request, a video about signs of personality disorder! i often feel like my brain has 3 parts in me, like a chaotic part, a depressed part, and a kind part, which i have associated with specific moods, because honestly sometimes my behaviour contridicts my personality, like i can be immature and mature at different times, having different prefrences, being positive or negative, i need a little helpon this topic and if you already have a video on this, please be sure to tell: D
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hello! i have video request, a video about signs of personality disorder! i often feel like my brain has 3 parts in me, like a chaotic part, a depressed part, and a kind part, which i have associated with specific moods, because honestly sometimes my behaviour contridicts my personality, like i can be immature and mature at different times, having different prefrences, being positive or negative, i need a little helpon this topic and if you already have a video on this, please be sure to tell: D
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aruwani7813
I want a love affair but i Don't know, can't keep a long time.
After few days i feel he will cheat me, not a good person, acting like a good. keeping secret love affairs, a. liar. like that thoughts come and wast my mind. as a results of that. something happened to break my trust. and after that i want to break up. i want to leave him and after few days of left from the affair im waiting he will come. if he come back. continuously happen that negativity. its very sad. story behind from me.
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I want a love affair but i Don't know, can't keep a long time.
After few days i feel he will cheat me, not a good person, acting like a good. keeping secret love affairs, a. liar. like that thoughts come and wast my mind. as a results of that. something happened to break my trust. and after that i want to break up. i want to leave him and after few days of left from the affair im waiting he will come. if he come back. continuously happen that negativity. its very sad. story behind from me.
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rileyrath5627
This video was a physical manifestation of the mantra going through my head for the last several years. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't worked. You spoke about how if we care about our family or close friends, that is the first spark of love (paraphrased. Yeah, no, that's not me. I very rarely feel love for anyone, anything really (as has been the case as long as I can remember, and have pretty much accepted that at this point. (Yes I have sought professional help and no it did not help)
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This video was a physical manifestation of the mantra going through my head for the last several years. Unfortunately for me, it hasn't worked. You spoke about how if we care about our family or close friends, that is the first spark of love (paraphrased. Yeah, no, that's not me. I very rarely feel love for anyone, anything really (as has been the case as long as I can remember, and have pretty much accepted that at this point. (Yes I have sought professional help and no it did not help)
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themrmustazz
I’ve been friendzoned all my life and the relationships I had did not last long, because I did not choose those girls, they chose me and j just went along because I felt lonely. All I wanted was a chance with the girls I actually liked but I wasn’t their type, they went with cheaters instead. With time, my compatibility kept growing more and more distant from humanity, and now I fell into porn addiction, extreme black humour and a heavy lack of interest for anything people do.
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I’ve been friendzoned all my life and the relationships I had did not last long, because I did not choose those girls, they chose me and j just went along because I felt lonely. All I wanted was a chance with the girls I actually liked but I wasn’t their type, they went with cheaters instead. With time, my compatibility kept growing more and more distant from humanity, and now I fell into porn addiction, extreme black humour and a heavy lack of interest for anything people do.
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tatithetrippihippi
The timing of this video is crazy. I’m 22 and I come from a lot of childhood trauma and as a result; it’s affected most of my relationships. it’s allowed me to feel like I’m incapable of love because I’ve chosen wrong people to be with or simply just wasn’t compatible with them. Most of these experiences have allowed me to look inward and love on myself a little bit extra because not only do I deserve it but I wanna show up as my best self for my future partner.
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The timing of this video is crazy. I’m 22 and I come from a lot of childhood trauma and as a result; it’s affected most of my relationships. it’s allowed me to feel like I’m incapable of love because I’ve chosen wrong people to be with or simply just wasn’t compatible with them. Most of these experiences have allowed me to look inward and love on myself a little bit extra because not only do I deserve it but I wanna show up as my best self for my future partner.
reply
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