8 Things You Should STOP Saying Sorry For
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Date: 2024-05-24
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Comments and reviews: 20
noobyasome5055
Hey, I'm in a bit of a dilemma. Not related to the video but I'm commenting here since it's the latest video and I'm hopeful for an answer. There's this girl that I used to sit next too and I saw her as a really good friend. Eventually, our teacher gave our class a new seating chart. A week into this seating chart, on Friday, something shocking happened. It was Halloween, and we were allowed to wear subtle costumes. She wore a mom costume and had a baby doll in a baby carrier. At PE, when we were running our laps, I slowed down because I reached the end. Someone who also sat at our table way back when ran past me, and said Your girlfriend is behind you and ran off. I didn't have a girlfriend, so I was confused and turned around. I saw that same girl that used to sit next to me, and she said, I kid you not, come say hi to your kid. I was FLABBERGASTED. I never had the thought she liked me or anything and I was completely shocked. I was a very awkward kid in 6th grade, so I just plain out said, no and started running to the end of my lap. We didnt interact for like two weeks, because when we were the last two in the classroom, leaving to go home, she was grabbing her stuff from her desk and when I walked by she said, I like your jacket, it looks good on you I had walked out of the classroom before I realized we were the last two kids in there, and she was talking to ME. She walked out of the class and walked by me, glancing behind me smiling a bit. I had thought she was weird when she did the whole mom thing, but when she gave me that compliment, I blushed a little and quickly walked the opposite way, EVEN THOUGH I had to go the same way as her lol. I started to like her ever since, and now, in 7th, she sits next to me in like three classes, and is with me in P. E. She constantly moves closer to me when sitting next to me, and half the time our elbows are touching but my awkward self normally flinches it away, and I know she notices it lol. I'm not sure whether she likes me, is being nice, or is just weird. Then again, her being weird is what made me eventually fall for her.
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Hey, I'm in a bit of a dilemma. Not related to the video but I'm commenting here since it's the latest video and I'm hopeful for an answer. There's this girl that I used to sit next too and I saw her as a really good friend. Eventually, our teacher gave our class a new seating chart. A week into this seating chart, on Friday, something shocking happened. It was Halloween, and we were allowed to wear subtle costumes. She wore a mom costume and had a baby doll in a baby carrier. At PE, when we were running our laps, I slowed down because I reached the end. Someone who also sat at our table way back when ran past me, and said Your girlfriend is behind you and ran off. I didn't have a girlfriend, so I was confused and turned around. I saw that same girl that used to sit next to me, and she said, I kid you not, come say hi to your kid. I was FLABBERGASTED. I never had the thought she liked me or anything and I was completely shocked. I was a very awkward kid in 6th grade, so I just plain out said, no and started running to the end of my lap. We didnt interact for like two weeks, because when we were the last two in the classroom, leaving to go home, she was grabbing her stuff from her desk and when I walked by she said, I like your jacket, it looks good on you I had walked out of the classroom before I realized we were the last two kids in there, and she was talking to ME. She walked out of the class and walked by me, glancing behind me smiling a bit. I had thought she was weird when she did the whole mom thing, but when she gave me that compliment, I blushed a little and quickly walked the opposite way, EVEN THOUGH I had to go the same way as her lol. I started to like her ever since, and now, in 7th, she sits next to me in like three classes, and is with me in P. E. She constantly moves closer to me when sitting next to me, and half the time our elbows are touching but my awkward self normally flinches it away, and I know she notices it lol. I'm not sure whether she likes me, is being nice, or is just weird. Then again, her being weird is what made me eventually fall for her.
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EmmaJohnson-dv9cx
Great Video! Below are the Keypoints Suammrized using ChatWithPDF:
- Over apologizing can stem from being too hard on ourselves or feeling inadequate due to childhood trauma.
- You shouldn't apologize for having an opinion as long as you're respectful towards others.
- Putting your needs first is important, and you don't have to feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
- It's okay to turn off your phone and take some alone time without feeling the need to apologize.
- Expressing your feelings and emotions is a natural part of being human, and you shouldn't apologize for it.
- Crying is a normal way to release emotions, and you don't need to say sorry for shedding tears.
- Embrace your unique appearance and don't apologize for the way you look, as every imperfection makes you beautiful.
- You have the right to make your own choices and not apologize for not following other people's advice on how to live your life.
- It's okay to apologize when necessary, but remember that not everything requires an apology, especially if it's not genuine.
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Great Video! Below are the Keypoints Suammrized using ChatWithPDF:
- Over apologizing can stem from being too hard on ourselves or feeling inadequate due to childhood trauma.
- You shouldn't apologize for having an opinion as long as you're respectful towards others.
- Putting your needs first is important, and you don't have to feel guilty for taking care of yourself.
- It's okay to turn off your phone and take some alone time without feeling the need to apologize.
- Expressing your feelings and emotions is a natural part of being human, and you shouldn't apologize for it.
- Crying is a normal way to release emotions, and you don't need to say sorry for shedding tears.
- Embrace your unique appearance and don't apologize for the way you look, as every imperfection makes you beautiful.
- You have the right to make your own choices and not apologize for not following other people's advice on how to live your life.
- It's okay to apologize when necessary, but remember that not everything requires an apology, especially if it's not genuine.
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tesstinggnw1822
Hello, I don’t know if you take video requests or suggestions but do you think you could possibly make a video about Narcissistic Personality Disorder I know you have made a lot about narcissists already but they are all for the benefit of the person dealing with a narcissist rather than the narcissist itself. It’s very hard for us narcissists to find resources for self-betterment because the disorder is so stigmatized (most of the results you see when search it up talk about how to get back at the narcissist, how to torture the narcissist, why the narcissist will never change. I think it would be very helpful if you guys were to make a video to help people from our point of view to not only raise awareness and understanding, but also provide us with a way to cope with it and ways we could healthily integrate ourselves in society. You have a lot of influence and I think it would really help if we had something that empathized with us; like treating the problem rather than the symptoms.
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Hello, I don’t know if you take video requests or suggestions but do you think you could possibly make a video about Narcissistic Personality Disorder I know you have made a lot about narcissists already but they are all for the benefit of the person dealing with a narcissist rather than the narcissist itself. It’s very hard for us narcissists to find resources for self-betterment because the disorder is so stigmatized (most of the results you see when search it up talk about how to get back at the narcissist, how to torture the narcissist, why the narcissist will never change. I think it would be very helpful if you guys were to make a video to help people from our point of view to not only raise awareness and understanding, but also provide us with a way to cope with it and ways we could healthily integrate ourselves in society. You have a lot of influence and I think it would really help if we had something that empathized with us; like treating the problem rather than the symptoms.
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Caduceus444
Thanks for this, I had a mental breakdown today and this really helped.
I emberessingly lost to someone despite of my advantage in the game I dedicated my life to which usually doesn't bother me, but I was frustrated and I felt the worst feeling I ever experienced: I was envy of them.
I told them about it as sort of a compliment, but I was deeply disappointed of myself on one hand, for losing despite my advantage, on the other hand for being jealous.
It is so degrading to envy others I was mentally whipping myself all night and needed some serious self compassion.
I just wanted to disappear and boil in my own shame for a bit.
I am better know, but I am craving other's validation like I never did before.
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Thanks for this, I had a mental breakdown today and this really helped.
I emberessingly lost to someone despite of my advantage in the game I dedicated my life to which usually doesn't bother me, but I was frustrated and I felt the worst feeling I ever experienced: I was envy of them.
I told them about it as sort of a compliment, but I was deeply disappointed of myself on one hand, for losing despite my advantage, on the other hand for being jealous.
It is so degrading to envy others I was mentally whipping myself all night and needed some serious self compassion.
I just wanted to disappear and boil in my own shame for a bit.
I am better know, but I am craving other's validation like I never did before.
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husnaliyana8393
I don't remember if I've ever said sorry for no. 3 and no. 5 -> no. 4 or not, but I do remember feeling guilty about it
No. 3 was when I had this sudden urge to check as much of my friends' ig stories as I can out of guilt when they've been watching my once-in-a-blue-moon ig stories
As for no. 5 -> no. 4, it's usually when it comes to sadness
Alas, now I'm glad for not using ig as much anymore
But it's kinda hard sometimes when you have no one to rely on so you generally reach out to them for support, but no one really pays a heed for you, when you've been there for them in their trying times
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I don't remember if I've ever said sorry for no. 3 and no. 5 -> no. 4 or not, but I do remember feeling guilty about it
No. 3 was when I had this sudden urge to check as much of my friends' ig stories as I can out of guilt when they've been watching my once-in-a-blue-moon ig stories
As for no. 5 -> no. 4, it's usually when it comes to sadness
Alas, now I'm glad for not using ig as much anymore
But it's kinda hard sometimes when you have no one to rely on so you generally reach out to them for support, but no one really pays a heed for you, when you've been there for them in their trying times
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edr3158
I used to have this problem of over apologizing when someone seemed offended. It took years for me to get over that habit. I learned to not care about how other people think about me. Especially in Antisocial media. Then I learned to close my mind off if people stared at me acting disgusted. Sometimes I have to shut my eyes and take deep breaths to calm myself down. Now I think of myself like a fine
wine. I'm not for everyone. And not everyone is going to like me. I feel that if they don't like me, that's their problem. Not mine. And I don't have to care or be concerned about it anymore.
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I used to have this problem of over apologizing when someone seemed offended. It took years for me to get over that habit. I learned to not care about how other people think about me. Especially in Antisocial media. Then I learned to close my mind off if people stared at me acting disgusted. Sometimes I have to shut my eyes and take deep breaths to calm myself down. Now I think of myself like a fine
wine. I'm not for everyone. And not everyone is going to like me. I feel that if they don't like me, that's their problem. Not mine. And I don't have to care or be concerned about it anymore.
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albertho9697
I caught myself for apologizing for not being able to put in the dinner to go order when i was going for an echo ekg which is in the concept of personal physical or mental health unneeded, and the root cause was the toxic mentally and verbally abusive dad that make me felt that way. I did bring this up with my therapist and she said when it comes to health and all health should come first therefore it is good that you catch that because you should not be the one to be apologetic for it should be your dad who should do that.
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I caught myself for apologizing for not being able to put in the dinner to go order when i was going for an echo ekg which is in the concept of personal physical or mental health unneeded, and the root cause was the toxic mentally and verbally abusive dad that make me felt that way. I did bring this up with my therapist and she said when it comes to health and all health should come first therefore it is good that you catch that because you should not be the one to be apologetic for it should be your dad who should do that.
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HarmonyMoonbeam024
I definitely relate with #3. I’m in a few group chats, one of which is very active, and they like video chatting a lot, but I’m almost always in the middle of something, whether it’s animating, writing, playing a horror game with one of my other friends, or, like mentioned in this video, just enjoying some alone time. I always feel kinda bad when I don’t pick up since they are younger and I don’t want them to feel like I’m pushing them away, but knowing this might help with that
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I definitely relate with #3. I’m in a few group chats, one of which is very active, and they like video chatting a lot, but I’m almost always in the middle of something, whether it’s animating, writing, playing a horror game with one of my other friends, or, like mentioned in this video, just enjoying some alone time. I always feel kinda bad when I don’t pick up since they are younger and I don’t want them to feel like I’m pushing them away, but knowing this might help with that
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ryanrad1014
It makes me feel really better knowing I’m being related too exactly just like in this video, it’s just unfortunately when people still tell me not to apologize when they’re showing me disappointment or anger for something little I do, it just makes it hard on me, and makes me feel the need to apologize more.
Basically in shorter terms, I get told not to apologize a lot for a mistake I make, meanwhile it feels like those same people are basically expecting me to be perfect
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It makes me feel really better knowing I’m being related too exactly just like in this video, it’s just unfortunately when people still tell me not to apologize when they’re showing me disappointment or anger for something little I do, it just makes it hard on me, and makes me feel the need to apologize more.
Basically in shorter terms, I get told not to apologize a lot for a mistake I make, meanwhile it feels like those same people are basically expecting me to be perfect
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p3arl-luk1
I say sorry for things all the time. I especially related with saying sorry for taking care of myself first, since I’ve had people who would get mad and make me feel bad for spending time on my needs that it made me feel like it wasn’t worth it. Luckily, I’m no longer friends with those people, but their damage on my self care has been difficult to mend. I’m glad knowing other people have a similar experience of constantly saying sorry, makes me feel like I’m not alone
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I say sorry for things all the time. I especially related with saying sorry for taking care of myself first, since I’ve had people who would get mad and make me feel bad for spending time on my needs that it made me feel like it wasn’t worth it. Luckily, I’m no longer friends with those people, but their damage on my self care has been difficult to mend. I’m glad knowing other people have a similar experience of constantly saying sorry, makes me feel like I’m not alone
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psych2go
I like running into women's shopping cart with my shopping cart so they'll say they're sorry. I even got a guy to say it once. Actually, they do that anytime they think they're in my way. I am sitting in an electric cart because I'm disabled, so that may be an influence. But I do like giving women a bad time in a good way and getting them to laugh.
Something Robert Cialdini noted in his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, is that people are generally on autopilot.
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I like running into women's shopping cart with my shopping cart so they'll say they're sorry. I even got a guy to say it once. Actually, they do that anytime they think they're in my way. I am sitting in an electric cart because I'm disabled, so that may be an influence. But I do like giving women a bad time in a good way and getting them to laugh.
Something Robert Cialdini noted in his book, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, is that people are generally on autopilot.
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theoaremevano3227
Experiences with conflict: Basically never being in a position where I'm allowed to be in the right. Whether it's because I'm at a job, in school or whatever, the balance of power is always in favor of the other person, and I'll only make things worse by expressing anything other than compliance. It doesn't matter if the other person is in the wrong, choosing to assert anything in my favor will only escalate the problem, which is a net loss for me.
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Experiences with conflict: Basically never being in a position where I'm allowed to be in the right. Whether it's because I'm at a job, in school or whatever, the balance of power is always in favor of the other person, and I'll only make things worse by expressing anything other than compliance. It doesn't matter if the other person is in the wrong, choosing to assert anything in my favor will only escalate the problem, which is a net loss for me.
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spartan1857
Apologising out of fear. Ya. Being constantly criticised (for nothing. Also, saying thank you for nothing. Great points. Most of this is due to trauma, for me, - from religious groups, family and narcisstic friends and colleagues. I'm busy dumping all of them (and finding new friends and family. Besides over apologising, there are other traumas. I actually suffer from short term memory loss. It's getting better. And anhodesia. Also getting better.
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Apologising out of fear. Ya. Being constantly criticised (for nothing. Also, saying thank you for nothing. Great points. Most of this is due to trauma, for me, - from religious groups, family and narcisstic friends and colleagues. I'm busy dumping all of them (and finding new friends and family. Besides over apologising, there are other traumas. I actually suffer from short term memory loss. It's getting better. And anhodesia. Also getting better.
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psych2go
Funny story, last week, a club I'm in decided to meet over a call to play a game together. I was the person who suggested it to keep people together over the summer. However due to unfortunate circumstances, a lot of people left early for various reasons, dinner with family, microphone not working, etc. I apologized to everyone who joined, saying that it was probably not a good night for it. But then I asked myself do I apologize too much
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Funny story, last week, a club I'm in decided to meet over a call to play a game together. I was the person who suggested it to keep people together over the summer. However due to unfortunate circumstances, a lot of people left early for various reasons, dinner with family, microphone not working, etc. I apologized to everyone who joined, saying that it was probably not a good night for it. But then I asked myself do I apologize too much
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raniagreg9239
I think there's a difference between saying sorry and feeling sorry. One might say, 'Sorry, but that's my opinion' for example, without actually feeling bad. Another person might not apologise but feel sorry for turning the phone off. So, overall, I think the video means stop feeling sorry. Saying sorry can be just a polite wording to set some boundaries for some and in this case they shouldn't stop using it. What do you think
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I think there's a difference between saying sorry and feeling sorry. One might say, 'Sorry, but that's my opinion' for example, without actually feeling bad. Another person might not apologise but feel sorry for turning the phone off. So, overall, I think the video means stop feeling sorry. Saying sorry can be just a polite wording to set some boundaries for some and in this case they shouldn't stop using it. What do you think
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LovelyBunny-uv7gx
Hi Psy, I know someone who always says sorry and thank you, that's me.
Not only that, but I have a habit of always bowing down to others, even the person who opened the barrier gate when I drove past. What's funny is that the window tint is black. No one can see me but I bow down to them every time. sometimes I wonder why I did it.
You're not the first for saying this to me. Thank you for reminding me.
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Hi Psy, I know someone who always says sorry and thank you, that's me.
Not only that, but I have a habit of always bowing down to others, even the person who opened the barrier gate when I drove past. What's funny is that the window tint is black. No one can see me but I bow down to them every time. sometimes I wonder why I did it.
You're not the first for saying this to me. Thank you for reminding me.
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slmnrsavedtheday
I used to apologize for everything i done like 5 years ago. I was literally apologizing for saying sorry too much. I can't say that i'm completely healed. I went to therapy, it helped a lot but i stopped going to therapy (i kinda had to cuz they changed their major) and now i feel like i'm not apologizing when i need to. Like when i'm arguing with my friends i'm automatically defending myself even if i'm wrong.
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I used to apologize for everything i done like 5 years ago. I was literally apologizing for saying sorry too much. I can't say that i'm completely healed. I went to therapy, it helped a lot but i stopped going to therapy (i kinda had to cuz they changed their major) and now i feel like i'm not apologizing when i need to. Like when i'm arguing with my friends i'm automatically defending myself even if i'm wrong.
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onepirateforpeace
Thank you for that Video. I am so deep into overapologizing I even apologize when I'm in the middle of a sentence and I have to sneez, I need to stop that! At that point it's more of a set phrase but it is my first impulse to apologize, when something I'm doing isn't how it's supossed to go because I am taking to much time (not sure how to explain it better) it's kind of hard to stop doing that impulse.
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Thank you for that Video. I am so deep into overapologizing I even apologize when I'm in the middle of a sentence and I have to sneez, I need to stop that! At that point it's more of a set phrase but it is my first impulse to apologize, when something I'm doing isn't how it's supossed to go because I am taking to much time (not sure how to explain it better) it's kind of hard to stop doing that impulse.
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. For having an opinion 0: 48
2. For putting your needs first 1: 37
3. For turning your phone off 2: 22
4. For showing your feelings 3: 12
5. For crying 3: 55
6. For the way you look 4: 40
7. For not taking other people's advice 5: 32
8. For apologizing 6: 10
9. How to stop over-apologizing once and for all 6: 40
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.
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Timestamps
1. For having an opinion 0: 48
2. For putting your needs first 1: 37
3. For turning your phone off 2: 22
4. For showing your feelings 3: 12
5. For crying 3: 55
6. For the way you look 4: 40
7. For not taking other people's advice 5: 32
8. For apologizing 6: 10
9. How to stop over-apologizing once and for all 6: 40
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day.
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boopergoober
Thanks for this. Just the other day I was having a really bad night and asked a friend if I could just talk about it for a while, and I kept apologizing because I was afraid of being a nuisance to her. Apologizing for crying, and for taking her time, but she was really reassuring and kind. Then this video dropped and talked about many of the exact things I struggle with. great timing! Anyway, thanks.
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Thanks for this. Just the other day I was having a really bad night and asked a friend if I could just talk about it for a while, and I kept apologizing because I was afraid of being a nuisance to her. Apologizing for crying, and for taking her time, but she was really reassuring and kind. Then this video dropped and talked about many of the exact things I struggle with. great timing! Anyway, thanks.
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