Why You Feel Unlovable
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Znegva
I had one of the most heartbreaking breakups ever, me and my girlfriend were not just the most loving couple ever, but we were best friends. The first 3 months of our relationship felt like a blessing, untill she decided to destroy it, at first i thought i was the problem, we argued constantly, i promised to change and what not, but she treated me like i was nothing, my mental health was so bad that i slowly was driven into madness, i couldnt eat and couldnt sleep, i had nightmares about her everytime i tried to sleep, at the end i made the desicion to breakup with her, so she decided to tell me the real truth why she did all of this: she didnt belived that she can be truly loved ( she had a pretty traumatic childhood: R word, abusive parents, bullying) and she was afraid that i would betray her or hurt her ( though i treated her like a queen), so she decided to slowly turn me against her so she could break with me with ease, and after she told me the truth i dont even know how can i live with the fact that all time ive been lied to and that i wasnt the problem but the complete opposite, i only tried to keep and fix our love while she did all efforts to destroy it because she felt that she doesnt deserve my love.
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I had one of the most heartbreaking breakups ever, me and my girlfriend were not just the most loving couple ever, but we were best friends. The first 3 months of our relationship felt like a blessing, untill she decided to destroy it, at first i thought i was the problem, we argued constantly, i promised to change and what not, but she treated me like i was nothing, my mental health was so bad that i slowly was driven into madness, i couldnt eat and couldnt sleep, i had nightmares about her everytime i tried to sleep, at the end i made the desicion to breakup with her, so she decided to tell me the real truth why she did all of this: she didnt belived that she can be truly loved ( she had a pretty traumatic childhood: R word, abusive parents, bullying) and she was afraid that i would betray her or hurt her ( though i treated her like a queen), so she decided to slowly turn me against her so she could break with me with ease, and after she told me the truth i dont even know how can i live with the fact that all time ive been lied to and that i wasnt the problem but the complete opposite, i only tried to keep and fix our love while she did all efforts to destroy it because she felt that she doesnt deserve my love.
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Derplord
These videos are always good for me and helps me identify certain habits but this video hits deep because no matter how well I do in school its always my shortcomings that matter even though I can get marks that others want (80+s) without studying at all even though nobody tells me I am not worth it for it but my brain just keeps saying your just dumb and cant do anything espically after I see my little siblings get so much praise from my parents for doing stuff like playing a sport or eating their supper or even getting a passing grade but when I get good grades nobody cares and when I try to do things like sports I just cant I dont enjoy them and cant force myself to do things i dont enjoy but even when i get told by my friends how lucky and smart i am for not needing to study to get good grades and i cant get myself to ask for help on anything because i dont want to be a burden and make things worse
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These videos are always good for me and helps me identify certain habits but this video hits deep because no matter how well I do in school its always my shortcomings that matter even though I can get marks that others want (80+s) without studying at all even though nobody tells me I am not worth it for it but my brain just keeps saying your just dumb and cant do anything espically after I see my little siblings get so much praise from my parents for doing stuff like playing a sport or eating their supper or even getting a passing grade but when I get good grades nobody cares and when I try to do things like sports I just cant I dont enjoy them and cant force myself to do things i dont enjoy but even when i get told by my friends how lucky and smart i am for not needing to study to get good grades and i cant get myself to ask for help on anything because i dont want to be a burden and make things worse
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MalwareCheeseFry
Here's another thing. You don't regret doing something that's wrong. I have this, I'm an awful person and I know it, I've hurt many people. And when I am given the option to change, whether consciously or subconsciously, I never accept this chance, nor do I try to make changes to myself. I don't regret any of the things I've done. My family is harmful, sure, but I haven't really been scarred by them, even if they abuse me. I feel empty, yet angry. This makes me feel unlovable, even though I am confident in every other aspect of myself. For example, I have a lot of pride in myself when it comes to whether or not I'm likeable, but when it comes to the topic of whether or not my boyfriend LOVES anything about me, my first reaction is to say no. Even though he's shown me affection and given me stability since the beginning. I don't regret hurting all those people, but that makes me a shitty person
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Here's another thing. You don't regret doing something that's wrong. I have this, I'm an awful person and I know it, I've hurt many people. And when I am given the option to change, whether consciously or subconsciously, I never accept this chance, nor do I try to make changes to myself. I don't regret any of the things I've done. My family is harmful, sure, but I haven't really been scarred by them, even if they abuse me. I feel empty, yet angry. This makes me feel unlovable, even though I am confident in every other aspect of myself. For example, I have a lot of pride in myself when it comes to whether or not I'm likeable, but when it comes to the topic of whether or not my boyfriend LOVES anything about me, my first reaction is to say no. Even though he's shown me affection and given me stability since the beginning. I don't regret hurting all those people, but that makes me a shitty person
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cAVEmAN
I just liked this video. but you can't change the damage of the past. So It does'nt feel great that I relate to this viedo.
I also leart somthing about trama. at least for me.
If someone talks to you an says hey I ate a burger today. You can emiditaly relate or empathize with there exsperiance because you too probably know what it's like to eat a burger.
If someone tells you about their trama, it's usuall somthing horrible. But because it's something so outisde your norm. Relating to others Trama is really hard. As it's not somthing your brain can or wants to imagine. So it' hard to help those who have had trama. even if you yourself have had some very different tramatic thing happen to you.
It might just be me though. I coud just be emotionally limited. If you also relate to this video, I whole heartedly wish you the very best! Be good to yourself!
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I just liked this video. but you can't change the damage of the past. So It does'nt feel great that I relate to this viedo.
I also leart somthing about trama. at least for me.
If someone talks to you an says hey I ate a burger today. You can emiditaly relate or empathize with there exsperiance because you too probably know what it's like to eat a burger.
If someone tells you about their trama, it's usuall somthing horrible. But because it's something so outisde your norm. Relating to others Trama is really hard. As it's not somthing your brain can or wants to imagine. So it' hard to help those who have had trama. even if you yourself have had some very different tramatic thing happen to you.
It might just be me though. I coud just be emotionally limited. If you also relate to this video, I whole heartedly wish you the very best! Be good to yourself!
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The
as a 35yo, twice divorced man, with 3 kids, lost everything twice. Been working hard my entire life. Last ex lied to court and to the expert from child protective services and was caught lying in court. Still won. Judges excuse? The kids had already moved. Even if she had moved after signing a contract that non of us could move away with the kids. Take it from me. There is no love in the world worth it. Its worth less. It will only bring pain, depression and guilt. The world treat dads like crap. and thats only what you are left with after. Feeling like crap.
Stay single and happy. NEVER get married, never get kids.
I love my kids to death. But when they take them away from you, and even it the other person gets caught lying to court. you wish you didn't have kids so you would not ever know this pain.
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as a 35yo, twice divorced man, with 3 kids, lost everything twice. Been working hard my entire life. Last ex lied to court and to the expert from child protective services and was caught lying in court. Still won. Judges excuse? The kids had already moved. Even if she had moved after signing a contract that non of us could move away with the kids. Take it from me. There is no love in the world worth it. Its worth less. It will only bring pain, depression and guilt. The world treat dads like crap. and thats only what you are left with after. Feeling like crap.
Stay single and happy. NEVER get married, never get kids.
I love my kids to death. But when they take them away from you, and even it the other person gets caught lying to court. you wish you didn't have kids so you would not ever know this pain.
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Joseph
Painfully relatable, all of these points. Here's my story if someone wants to read. And before I start I'd like to say, you guys aren't alone and you all have my best wishes.
My family always dismissed me as being too needy and demanding, and any time I'd make some mistake as a kid, they'd always carry on about it for years until it was to the point I developed self-hatred.
That was pretty much my whole life until a few years ago. I'm almost 27 now and I'm slowly but surely healing. I still struggle with feeling unlovable at times, but I'm trying to keep in mind at least I have friends who love and care about me, even if my family is toxic. At the thought of anyone caring about me, I start to cry. But I'm slowly trying to default to positivity. So slowly, but I definitely am.
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Painfully relatable, all of these points. Here's my story if someone wants to read. And before I start I'd like to say, you guys aren't alone and you all have my best wishes.
My family always dismissed me as being too needy and demanding, and any time I'd make some mistake as a kid, they'd always carry on about it for years until it was to the point I developed self-hatred.
That was pretty much my whole life until a few years ago. I'm almost 27 now and I'm slowly but surely healing. I still struggle with feeling unlovable at times, but I'm trying to keep in mind at least I have friends who love and care about me, even if my family is toxic. At the thought of anyone caring about me, I start to cry. But I'm slowly trying to default to positivity. So slowly, but I definitely am.
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Andrew
Feeling unlovable started in middle school for me. I was bullied for years over my weight and social quirks. As everyone developed needs for connection, I was bullied for that too. Kids would tell girls I had a crush on them just to embarrass them, watch the disgust on their face. They would act nice to me just to laugh to the themselves if I thought it was genuine. Reaching out wasn't even a thought because I didn't have to say anything to be put down for it. I'm in my mid 20s now and despite years of self care and personal developement the thought of reaching out when I'm lonely or want to socialize makes me scared and angry at those memories. This kind of stuff sticks with you and working through it is a long journey, one that I still have a ways to go on unfortunately.
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Feeling unlovable started in middle school for me. I was bullied for years over my weight and social quirks. As everyone developed needs for connection, I was bullied for that too. Kids would tell girls I had a crush on them just to embarrass them, watch the disgust on their face. They would act nice to me just to laugh to the themselves if I thought it was genuine. Reaching out wasn't even a thought because I didn't have to say anything to be put down for it. I'm in my mid 20s now and despite years of self care and personal developement the thought of reaching out when I'm lonely or want to socialize makes me scared and angry at those memories. This kind of stuff sticks with you and working through it is a long journey, one that I still have a ways to go on unfortunately.
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Gabriela
What if I was loved by my parents and still feel unloveable? I only feel romantically unloveable, just because every person I've dated has left me/broken me. I feel love will never happen to me. I've been feeling like this for many years now. Had a terrible relationship with a narcissist, then shut the doors to love for 5 years. Then, when I opened them, a person who seemed lovely came and I felt that finally I was being loved. And then, he disappeared. Im broken, I know I am a good person, I try my best in every relationship and get nothing. I'm in such pain, and I'm a grown independent woman who has been really happy when alone, but I'd really like a partner to share life with. Anyway, if you've read this far, thanks
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What if I was loved by my parents and still feel unloveable? I only feel romantically unloveable, just because every person I've dated has left me/broken me. I feel love will never happen to me. I've been feeling like this for many years now. Had a terrible relationship with a narcissist, then shut the doors to love for 5 years. Then, when I opened them, a person who seemed lovely came and I felt that finally I was being loved. And then, he disappeared. Im broken, I know I am a good person, I try my best in every relationship and get nothing. I'm in such pain, and I'm a grown independent woman who has been really happy when alone, but I'd really like a partner to share life with. Anyway, if you've read this far, thanks
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Kiara
Wow! I really needed this today! All my life I have felt that I was unworthy of love because I was diagnosed with Autism as a child and certain family members rejected for being on the spectrum. Other reasons why I have felt unlovable is because in school I was bullied by mostly boys and men and I had a couple of emotionally abusive teachers (mostly male teachers. On top of that, I dealt with a heartbreak when I was 16/17 that caused me to close myself off from every man (including male friends, colleagues and coworkers) to the point that when a man shows me kindness, I am taken aback and am alarmed by it (Im used to men treating me like garbage so when a man is kind to me, Im afraid.
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Wow! I really needed this today! All my life I have felt that I was unworthy of love because I was diagnosed with Autism as a child and certain family members rejected for being on the spectrum. Other reasons why I have felt unlovable is because in school I was bullied by mostly boys and men and I had a couple of emotionally abusive teachers (mostly male teachers. On top of that, I dealt with a heartbreak when I was 16/17 that caused me to close myself off from every man (including male friends, colleagues and coworkers) to the point that when a man shows me kindness, I am taken aback and am alarmed by it (Im used to men treating me like garbage so when a man is kind to me, Im afraid.
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Mashu
I never had childhood trauma. My parents did their best and I'm grateful to them. have a healthy relationship with them. Yet I feel unlovable. I'm 29 yrs old and have only one failed relationship in which my partner told me that she fell out of love. Its been 3 yrs since and I have been single since then. I feel unlovable after that, no girl has ever approached me. whenever i tried approaching someone, i got rejected and ghossted. i mean i didnt hurt anyone, i've been good to others, kind and yet im all alone. i feel im unlovable. it sucks so much, i dont see a point in living man.
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I never had childhood trauma. My parents did their best and I'm grateful to them. have a healthy relationship with them. Yet I feel unlovable. I'm 29 yrs old and have only one failed relationship in which my partner told me that she fell out of love. Its been 3 yrs since and I have been single since then. I feel unlovable after that, no girl has ever approached me. whenever i tried approaching someone, i got rejected and ghossted. i mean i didnt hurt anyone, i've been good to others, kind and yet im all alone. i feel im unlovable. it sucks so much, i dont see a point in living man.
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evie
the worst part is that, even after accepting that i am lovable and i deserve love and care i still dont have it. it somehow hurts more now that i allow myself to want loving, stable relationships.
believing that i was unlovable was like a shield. it was a painful thought, but it allowed me to feel less lonely because then i had a reason to be alone and not have any deep, supportive relationships. now, i feel much more isolated and alone because i allow myself to want the love that i give to other people. it kind of sucks a bit.
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the worst part is that, even after accepting that i am lovable and i deserve love and care i still dont have it. it somehow hurts more now that i allow myself to want loving, stable relationships.
believing that i was unlovable was like a shield. it was a painful thought, but it allowed me to feel less lonely because then i had a reason to be alone and not have any deep, supportive relationships. now, i feel much more isolated and alone because i allow myself to want the love that i give to other people. it kind of sucks a bit.
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Indrid
I am unlovable because I keep my eyes forward, absolutely show no expressions in public, never speak to others unless I am addressed first, and I treat everyone exactly the same, no matter who they are. This very blank approach to life assures I will not draw the attention of anybody. I have no friends, no girlfriend, no aquaintences. I am impossible to be used, get betrayed, then be painfully a abandoned. That is worth any price. Nobody needs to be social to exist. It is, just a luxury. Many live life alone.
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I am unlovable because I keep my eyes forward, absolutely show no expressions in public, never speak to others unless I am addressed first, and I treat everyone exactly the same, no matter who they are. This very blank approach to life assures I will not draw the attention of anybody. I have no friends, no girlfriend, no aquaintences. I am impossible to be used, get betrayed, then be painfully a abandoned. That is worth any price. Nobody needs to be social to exist. It is, just a luxury. Many live life alone.
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Andis
1: 45 I experienced all of that, from bullies teachers and even my own family when I was in middle school and elementary school I didnt have any friends.
Almost all the attention I got was negative.
I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD, borderline personality disorder major depression, And I was told this is because of my trauma. The reason I experienced all this drama childhood and why I was treated so horribly its because Im on the autism spectrum, and I also grew up in a very toxic environment.
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1: 45 I experienced all of that, from bullies teachers and even my own family when I was in middle school and elementary school I didnt have any friends.
Almost all the attention I got was negative.
I was recently diagnosed with C-PTSD, borderline personality disorder major depression, And I was told this is because of my trauma. The reason I experienced all this drama childhood and why I was treated so horribly its because Im on the autism spectrum, and I also grew up in a very toxic environment.
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Marina
No. No one here understands what love is. So, decision is to stay in fortress system. I will do everything myself. Because people lied to me for months and telling me that they did it out of love. Love does not lie. At any point. Love is honest. It nearly break me. But I did not learn anything new. Just. People play games and do not care what is the price for this games. To me, price was too high. Do not need that kind of love.
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No. No one here understands what love is. So, decision is to stay in fortress system. I will do everything myself. Because people lied to me for months and telling me that they did it out of love. Love does not lie. At any point. Love is honest. It nearly break me. But I did not learn anything new. Just. People play games and do not care what is the price for this games. To me, price was too high. Do not need that kind of love.
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Fabiola
Lol I'll never heal then. I'm always the one running after people, checking on them, trying to make them feel good and special and nobody does the same for me. I'm unable to keep a single friendship, I don't even dream of a romantic relationship, thats impossible for me. I was born to die alone and thats the truth even if it hurts. Let's just hope it happens soon so I won't need to cry in front of these kind of videos anymore.
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Lol I'll never heal then. I'm always the one running after people, checking on them, trying to make them feel good and special and nobody does the same for me. I'm unable to keep a single friendship, I don't even dream of a romantic relationship, thats impossible for me. I was born to die alone and thats the truth even if it hurts. Let's just hope it happens soon so I won't need to cry in front of these kind of videos anymore.
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DMsBlueAngel
I was always the ugly fat girl nobody would/could love. I've had a couple of amazing friends who told me that wasn't true, but the damage was done and fed for so many years that I just couldn't hear them. I've been working on seeing myself as I truly am. Not just the fat girl for a few years now. I'm beginning to make progress. You guys have helped me so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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I was always the ugly fat girl nobody would/could love. I've had a couple of amazing friends who told me that wasn't true, but the damage was done and fed for so many years that I just couldn't hear them. I've been working on seeing myself as I truly am. Not just the fat girl for a few years now. I'm beginning to make progress. You guys have helped me so much. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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Combo
Ive lost track of the amount of times Ive tried my absolute hardest to make my mum happy and my mums says something along the lines of this is pathetic, this doesnt even qualify as minimum effort along with a seriously traumatic event that happened to me once a week for months when I was younger that I dont want to give details on and I understand why the only 2 people I trust both agree that Im broken
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Ive lost track of the amount of times Ive tried my absolute hardest to make my mum happy and my mums says something along the lines of this is pathetic, this doesnt even qualify as minimum effort along with a seriously traumatic event that happened to me once a week for months when I was younger that I dont want to give details on and I understand why the only 2 people I trust both agree that Im broken
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Lotus
I know I can relate. After my parents divorced, my father didnt care to even communicate with me and my sister. Plus, I have 2 incurable (but treatable) health issues that Im ashamed of. One of which could have been prevented. Plus, Ive had mostly negative experiences with (straight) men. So its no wonder that Im an independent, single feminist whos skeptical of romantic love.
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I know I can relate. After my parents divorced, my father didnt care to even communicate with me and my sister. Plus, I have 2 incurable (but treatable) health issues that Im ashamed of. One of which could have been prevented. Plus, Ive had mostly negative experiences with (straight) men. So its no wonder that Im an independent, single feminist whos skeptical of romantic love.
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MikaMee
Mine doesnt come from abuse (unless self abuse counts) but there is genuinely nothing good about me as a person. I have no smarts, no talent, no skills, no personality, no passion, nothing. Im not exaggerating, thats how it is. I look decent cause no one has insulted the way i look physically, but i just dont have what it takes to actually be lovable or to receive love.
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Mine doesnt come from abuse (unless self abuse counts) but there is genuinely nothing good about me as a person. I have no smarts, no talent, no skills, no personality, no passion, nothing. Im not exaggerating, thats how it is. I look decent cause no one has insulted the way i look physically, but i just dont have what it takes to actually be lovable or to receive love.
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Nate
Nobody will see this but I want to help her. My girlfriend has said things like she doesn't feel she can be loved, and struggles to love herself. I am actively trying to help her realize her worth but it just hurts to see her putting herself down when she's worth so much more than she realizes, especially to me. I want to help her, I just don't know how
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Nobody will see this but I want to help her. My girlfriend has said things like she doesn't feel she can be loved, and struggles to love herself. I am actively trying to help her realize her worth but it just hurts to see her putting herself down when she's worth so much more than she realizes, especially to me. I want to help her, I just don't know how
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education
I am pretty sure that I am loved and I am shown and told that I'm loved many times by many people, but for some unknown reason I just can't feel it. I feel like my brain just isn't wired to feel loved and I am afraid that I've never actually felt loved in my whole life. Honestly, I am not even sure I know what love is.
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I am pretty sure that I am loved and I am shown and told that I'm loved many times by many people, but for some unknown reason I just can't feel it. I feel like my brain just isn't wired to feel loved and I am afraid that I've never actually felt loved in my whole life. Honestly, I am not even sure I know what love is.
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Jane
i kinda get it i geuss logically so i dont hate myslf but idk i dont rlly remember how to actually love my self like i love others. ive just been feeling like when i screw up im super disgusted and disappointed but when i do ok i just kinda feel like thats what i should expect of my self. does anyone else know what i mean?
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i kinda get it i geuss logically so i dont hate myslf but idk i dont rlly remember how to actually love my self like i love others. ive just been feeling like when i screw up im super disgusted and disappointed but when i do ok i just kinda feel like thats what i should expect of my self. does anyone else know what i mean?
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Hoody
Its true. I try to be good but I cant bring myself to do it. And my mind always wants me to be physically and mentally good, but beats me up when I dont bring myself to do it. And as I always think, if I cant be good to myself; then I cant be good to anyone else.
Also my grammar is bad but Im on my phone so its not easy
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Its true. I try to be good but I cant bring myself to do it. And my mind always wants me to be physically and mentally good, but beats me up when I dont bring myself to do it. And as I always think, if I cant be good to myself; then I cant be good to anyone else.
Also my grammar is bad but Im on my phone so its not easy
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Daaaaave
Yeah childhood sucked and then adolescence was met with indifference, which is what got me out of if alive, but apathy and shame lead to a wasted 20's. Finally slowly unwinding the misery and sorrow and trying to build someone worthwhile, since thats what i need to love myself, and thats the requirement to be loved.
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Yeah childhood sucked and then adolescence was met with indifference, which is what got me out of if alive, but apathy and shame lead to a wasted 20's. Finally slowly unwinding the misery and sorrow and trying to build someone worthwhile, since thats what i need to love myself, and thats the requirement to be loved.
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Paul
I am 67 years old. I have never had a loving relationship with a woman in my lifetime. The words there's someone for everybody just agrevates me. I stopped looking for the one aged 30/35. There isn't a miss right in the world for me. Self-esteem and self-confidence were bullied out of me at school from ages 5 to 16.
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I am 67 years old. I have never had a loving relationship with a woman in my lifetime. The words there's someone for everybody just agrevates me. I stopped looking for the one aged 30/35. There isn't a miss right in the world for me. Self-esteem and self-confidence were bullied out of me at school from ages 5 to 16.
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