5 Stages of Abuse, 3 Is The Most Dangerous
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Date: 2025-05-10
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Comments and reviews: 20
Tom-j1v
When I was in my late teens, I got into a relationship with a woman a couple years older than me. At first, she was sweet, understanding, and seemed to really love and respect me. After about a year of her reeling me in, though, she exploded all at once over the stress of bills, and beat me severely. I didn't want to hurt her, and she hit me in the back of the head so much that I began to experience symptoms of severe brain damage. I couldn't stand for prolonged periods of time without experiencing weakness and nausea, I couldn't think clearly anymore, and I had to quit my job. From then on, she had complete control of our relationship, and I couldn't lean on my family at that time, because my mother and I were on the outs, and I didn't really have anyone else I could get actual help from. The memory became buried under self-hate, for not defending myself. Despite the fact I knew that if I HAD defended myself, she'd have called the police and pretended that I had started hitting HER.
All at once, as a young and healthy man with half a decade of combat training, I was unable to defend myself or get myself away from my partner. I would have had to hit the street as the fall set in in Oregon, where we get so much cold rain every year, hypothermia is guaranteed. I couldn't get away from her for another four years after the initial attack. She lied to all our friends about me, saying I refused to get a job. She gaslit me on a constant basis, hit me, and even rped me at one point. Towards the end of our relationship, she began to use weapons. I am still healing from her hitting me with an axe, even five years after I finally got away from her.
For all men out there suffering from abuse, in particular violent abuse, don't hate yourselves for letting it happen- focus instead of getting away from your abuser at all costs. I literally was one of the most capable fighters in my country and could easily have gone into professional fighting instead of getting together with that woman. That didn't make me less vulnerable to manipulation and abuse. I wish you all luck in getting your lives on track, and healing from whatever happened to you, no matter who you are or what your situation is.
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When I was in my late teens, I got into a relationship with a woman a couple years older than me. At first, she was sweet, understanding, and seemed to really love and respect me. After about a year of her reeling me in, though, she exploded all at once over the stress of bills, and beat me severely. I didn't want to hurt her, and she hit me in the back of the head so much that I began to experience symptoms of severe brain damage. I couldn't stand for prolonged periods of time without experiencing weakness and nausea, I couldn't think clearly anymore, and I had to quit my job. From then on, she had complete control of our relationship, and I couldn't lean on my family at that time, because my mother and I were on the outs, and I didn't really have anyone else I could get actual help from. The memory became buried under self-hate, for not defending myself. Despite the fact I knew that if I HAD defended myself, she'd have called the police and pretended that I had started hitting HER.
All at once, as a young and healthy man with half a decade of combat training, I was unable to defend myself or get myself away from my partner. I would have had to hit the street as the fall set in in Oregon, where we get so much cold rain every year, hypothermia is guaranteed. I couldn't get away from her for another four years after the initial attack. She lied to all our friends about me, saying I refused to get a job. She gaslit me on a constant basis, hit me, and even rped me at one point. Towards the end of our relationship, she began to use weapons. I am still healing from her hitting me with an axe, even five years after I finally got away from her.
For all men out there suffering from abuse, in particular violent abuse, don't hate yourselves for letting it happen- focus instead of getting away from your abuser at all costs. I literally was one of the most capable fighters in my country and could easily have gone into professional fighting instead of getting together with that woman. That didn't make me less vulnerable to manipulation and abuse. I wish you all luck in getting your lives on track, and healing from whatever happened to you, no matter who you are or what your situation is.
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Logistics00
This is me. I'm male, so this can happen to not just women. I was in a relationship for 11 years and engaged for one year. I went through all of this. At the end, I just couldn't deal with the constant bombardment of stage three where I was yelled at, verbally and emotionally abused, subtly isolated me from friends and family, gave me the silent treatment, guilt tripped me, and gaslit me to make me feel like everything was my fault. I compromised throughout the entire relationship on my goals, tried couples therapy which she refused after a while as she believed that it didn't work as I was the only one willing to talk. Nothing seemed to feel as though anything was good enough for her and must be within her control, and I would apologize for any inconvenience which at a certain point my apologies were never good enough either for her. She'd rebuff them and be unhappy about how I made the situation, which would then make me doubt my apologies. It's been two years since I've resurfaced from drowning under all that oppressive love, and I'm able to feel happiness in my hobbies and a new partner that acknowledges me in a way that makes me feel like myself and to look forward to the future again, despite the reality haha. When we broke up, it took me two to three months of heavy therapy and disassociation (which I don't recommend as I made multiple attempts of self-harm) my friends, coworkers, and family noticed how much happier I looked and would interact with them. I felt warmth. To anyone out there that reads this that's going through a break-up, talk to your trusted friends, co-workers, and family that genuinely care about you, and ask what they saw during the relationship and listen to what they say. Love makes you blind sometimes, so it's always good to have an outsider looking in. The last piece of advice I can give anyone who is or has gone through this is to give yourself grace as you need time to feel, to heal, and to figure out the next steps on your journey and to look to future events that make you happy like a concert, convention, new release of a movie/TV show/video game and to put it on your calendar and put reminders when it gets closer. Best of luck to everyone out there!
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This is me. I'm male, so this can happen to not just women. I was in a relationship for 11 years and engaged for one year. I went through all of this. At the end, I just couldn't deal with the constant bombardment of stage three where I was yelled at, verbally and emotionally abused, subtly isolated me from friends and family, gave me the silent treatment, guilt tripped me, and gaslit me to make me feel like everything was my fault. I compromised throughout the entire relationship on my goals, tried couples therapy which she refused after a while as she believed that it didn't work as I was the only one willing to talk. Nothing seemed to feel as though anything was good enough for her and must be within her control, and I would apologize for any inconvenience which at a certain point my apologies were never good enough either for her. She'd rebuff them and be unhappy about how I made the situation, which would then make me doubt my apologies. It's been two years since I've resurfaced from drowning under all that oppressive love, and I'm able to feel happiness in my hobbies and a new partner that acknowledges me in a way that makes me feel like myself and to look forward to the future again, despite the reality haha. When we broke up, it took me two to three months of heavy therapy and disassociation (which I don't recommend as I made multiple attempts of self-harm) my friends, coworkers, and family noticed how much happier I looked and would interact with them. I felt warmth. To anyone out there that reads this that's going through a break-up, talk to your trusted friends, co-workers, and family that genuinely care about you, and ask what they saw during the relationship and listen to what they say. Love makes you blind sometimes, so it's always good to have an outsider looking in. The last piece of advice I can give anyone who is or has gone through this is to give yourself grace as you need time to feel, to heal, and to figure out the next steps on your journey and to look to future events that make you happy like a concert, convention, new release of a movie/TV show/video game and to put it on your calendar and put reminders when it gets closer. Best of luck to everyone out there!
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psych2go
I was watching this and it made me think of my ex, and the abuse they put me through. They would throw and break things like their phone, and then say I made them or it was me who did it. And if they really wanted to be cruel they would try to publicly humiliate me, and tag their friends to join in on the abuse. We'd be happy one second, the next they'd hate me and say they wished I was dead, because that would be the only way they could be happy. If they was visiting them they'd tell me to leave, and then block the door and throw a fit trying to guilt me into staying. And would even hurt themselves, just to make me feel guilty. And if they wanted to be calm, but I was upset by what they did. I was told I was trying to start drama, holding them accountable for what they did. Even when they cheated they tried to say that was my fault as well. When I tried to better myself and set boundaries, they left. And even though I was the victim, they will act like they're the victim for what they did. To anyone of their friends that will, validate their toxic behavior. Like their friends saying it was okay that my ex cheated on me. But I learned if someone says they've cheated on everyone they've dated, don't think. it's okay' I'm the special one ha ha ha ha ha nope not special. If someone says they don't deserve you, it means they will drag you through hell, abuse you, tear your life apart and leave you randomly like ghosting you, and blaming you for it. If they say you deserve better then me, it ties back to everything said above. I still find myself struggling to let go of the memories of my ex, even though they moved on the day they ended things. It's been a year and five months and I'm still working on moving on. And no one besides my counselor, understands why I ever loved my ex, or why I still love them despite everything they did.
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I was watching this and it made me think of my ex, and the abuse they put me through. They would throw and break things like their phone, and then say I made them or it was me who did it. And if they really wanted to be cruel they would try to publicly humiliate me, and tag their friends to join in on the abuse. We'd be happy one second, the next they'd hate me and say they wished I was dead, because that would be the only way they could be happy. If they was visiting them they'd tell me to leave, and then block the door and throw a fit trying to guilt me into staying. And would even hurt themselves, just to make me feel guilty. And if they wanted to be calm, but I was upset by what they did. I was told I was trying to start drama, holding them accountable for what they did. Even when they cheated they tried to say that was my fault as well. When I tried to better myself and set boundaries, they left. And even though I was the victim, they will act like they're the victim for what they did. To anyone of their friends that will, validate their toxic behavior. Like their friends saying it was okay that my ex cheated on me. But I learned if someone says they've cheated on everyone they've dated, don't think. it's okay' I'm the special one ha ha ha ha ha nope not special. If someone says they don't deserve you, it means they will drag you through hell, abuse you, tear your life apart and leave you randomly like ghosting you, and blaming you for it. If they say you deserve better then me, it ties back to everything said above. I still find myself struggling to let go of the memories of my ex, even though they moved on the day they ended things. It's been a year and five months and I'm still working on moving on. And no one besides my counselor, understands why I ever loved my ex, or why I still love them despite everything they did.
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psych2go
I kept making excuses for my ex for 14 years before finally deciding to get a divorce. It was a very difficult couple years afterwards. Nobody decides to just blow up everything they have tried to build with someone, unless there really is no other way to survive. I was blessed to have some support and, they helped me find a center for victims of abuse. I will be forever grateful for the kindness and concern that I was shown. It took me some time to even accept that it was not all my fault. I feared for the effect all of this would have on our children. Now my heart frequently breaks for my children because I was unable to convince the court of how damaging the verbal abuse was on all of us. I have always felt sorry for my ex. It must be difficult to feel like everyone always leaves you but, not be capable of seeing that you are the reason they do so. That's not by any means an excuse for the horrible things that were said or screamed at us over the years. That relationship was so difficult to navigate. It's been almost 7 years, and I still can't imagine letting myself get close to anyone new. On the brighter side, I am out of that situation with the exception of shared custody and, my kids know that I am here for them always. One day, when they have become adults and, they will have to decide what their relationship will be like. I know I will always be here to listen, love and laugh with them. I know they appreciate me for trying my best. That's all anyone can do. Just don't give up on yourself. You owe that to yourself, more than anything you think you owe someone else.
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I kept making excuses for my ex for 14 years before finally deciding to get a divorce. It was a very difficult couple years afterwards. Nobody decides to just blow up everything they have tried to build with someone, unless there really is no other way to survive. I was blessed to have some support and, they helped me find a center for victims of abuse. I will be forever grateful for the kindness and concern that I was shown. It took me some time to even accept that it was not all my fault. I feared for the effect all of this would have on our children. Now my heart frequently breaks for my children because I was unable to convince the court of how damaging the verbal abuse was on all of us. I have always felt sorry for my ex. It must be difficult to feel like everyone always leaves you but, not be capable of seeing that you are the reason they do so. That's not by any means an excuse for the horrible things that were said or screamed at us over the years. That relationship was so difficult to navigate. It's been almost 7 years, and I still can't imagine letting myself get close to anyone new. On the brighter side, I am out of that situation with the exception of shared custody and, my kids know that I am here for them always. One day, when they have become adults and, they will have to decide what their relationship will be like. I know I will always be here to listen, love and laugh with them. I know they appreciate me for trying my best. That's all anyone can do. Just don't give up on yourself. You owe that to yourself, more than anything you think you owe someone else.
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thesilverspree2511
I didn't understand it was abuse until just recently. I was 15, and this person put upon me several expectations I just couldn't fulfill. He'd tell my mom I was arrogant, toxic, and other crap. He'd claim he was sensitive and that I needed to be careful abt what I did and said, and I was a frickin' teenager still learning to regulate my emotions. Often times I wouldn't even know what mistake I made for him to be so upset, and be given the silent treatment for months. He'd gossip abt me in this time with his wife, calling me out on every small mistake, deeming me insane when I was only expressing joy-
Then the reconciliation came. He'd come to me saying I made the mistake, and that he just couldn't find it in him to talk to me again. I grew more careful hearing that, and since then I've legit tried everything in my will to not upset him, yet. I still did somehow. He becomes ill, he starts acting like it's my fault that he is. He claims I'm his friend, yet out of everyone, the only person he doesn't talk to is me when he's sick. I don't ask him how he's doing for one day and he's upset. Soo. yeah-
I still have a long ways to go to escape this, since I'm stuck under the same roof as him, but I genuinely believe his treatment of me as a whole has really damaged my inner self. It's hard to trust people, and I'm often on high alert making sure the things that shouldn't hurt them, would still do. I can't speak my mind out with even my closest friends at this point, and everything just feels like it's my fault-
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I didn't understand it was abuse until just recently. I was 15, and this person put upon me several expectations I just couldn't fulfill. He'd tell my mom I was arrogant, toxic, and other crap. He'd claim he was sensitive and that I needed to be careful abt what I did and said, and I was a frickin' teenager still learning to regulate my emotions. Often times I wouldn't even know what mistake I made for him to be so upset, and be given the silent treatment for months. He'd gossip abt me in this time with his wife, calling me out on every small mistake, deeming me insane when I was only expressing joy-
Then the reconciliation came. He'd come to me saying I made the mistake, and that he just couldn't find it in him to talk to me again. I grew more careful hearing that, and since then I've legit tried everything in my will to not upset him, yet. I still did somehow. He becomes ill, he starts acting like it's my fault that he is. He claims I'm his friend, yet out of everyone, the only person he doesn't talk to is me when he's sick. I don't ask him how he's doing for one day and he's upset. Soo. yeah-
I still have a long ways to go to escape this, since I'm stuck under the same roof as him, but I genuinely believe his treatment of me as a whole has really damaged my inner self. It's hard to trust people, and I'm often on high alert making sure the things that shouldn't hurt them, would still do. I can't speak my mind out with even my closest friends at this point, and everything just feels like it's my fault-
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cinnamaricat
TW // please don't read this if the topic of suicide is triggering to you take care of yourself
i used to lash out at others because i had so much tension constantly built up that i've only now accepted was never my fault it was a combination of bullying, internalized homophobia/comphet (i was raised in the south in the early 2000s for context people were and still are very homophobic) and on top of all that i had undiagnosed adhd at the time of the abuse so i had no idea that emotional disregulation was a thing or that it made my emotions more intense but all of that caused my lashing out which i did take accountability for because i felt guilty every single time but there was someone who would say i was forgiven then they'd hold the things i did over my head making me hate myself more and more until i couldn't take it and i tried to end my life i'm only now years later healing after being cut off from this person and after repressing those memories for so long and last night i cried about it emotions were coming out that had been bottled up for years someone else had to point out to me that what i experienced was abuse if anyone did read this i'm sorry if anything was triggering and i didn't include it in my tw but also thank you for reading
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TW // please don't read this if the topic of suicide is triggering to you take care of yourself
i used to lash out at others because i had so much tension constantly built up that i've only now accepted was never my fault it was a combination of bullying, internalized homophobia/comphet (i was raised in the south in the early 2000s for context people were and still are very homophobic) and on top of all that i had undiagnosed adhd at the time of the abuse so i had no idea that emotional disregulation was a thing or that it made my emotions more intense but all of that caused my lashing out which i did take accountability for because i felt guilty every single time but there was someone who would say i was forgiven then they'd hold the things i did over my head making me hate myself more and more until i couldn't take it and i tried to end my life i'm only now years later healing after being cut off from this person and after repressing those memories for so long and last night i cried about it emotions were coming out that had been bottled up for years someone else had to point out to me that what i experienced was abuse if anyone did read this i'm sorry if anything was triggering and i didn't include it in my tw but also thank you for reading
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SquishyGrayMatter
5: 05 all of this off and on for 12 years. He cheated for the 100th time and blamed me and said he felt no remorse anymore and threatened a restraining order even tho he came to my house numerous times and was texting me. Then he screamed, threatened more physical violence, swung at me, then went to try to turn himself in When they told him I’d have to press charges and i told him no, he came over again but STILL refused to take accountability or say he felt bad and said he cheated bc she was nicer to him. (Even though we hadn’t fought for months and were saying I love you everyday and going on dates, being intimate etc)
I contacted his homewrecker and found out she was a dude Catfishing him and I let him know what an idiot he is. It’s all Completely bonkers. I changed my number and hope he doesn’t show up begging me to take him back ever again. He smokes weed every day and his brain is getting worse and worse with age, he’s 48. Cannot believe I fell for someone this psychotic, I think I was traumatized after I became a widow from my high school sweetheart husband dying at age 35. Definitely never dating or falling in love anyone ever again.
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5: 05 all of this off and on for 12 years. He cheated for the 100th time and blamed me and said he felt no remorse anymore and threatened a restraining order even tho he came to my house numerous times and was texting me. Then he screamed, threatened more physical violence, swung at me, then went to try to turn himself in When they told him I’d have to press charges and i told him no, he came over again but STILL refused to take accountability or say he felt bad and said he cheated bc she was nicer to him. (Even though we hadn’t fought for months and were saying I love you everyday and going on dates, being intimate etc)
I contacted his homewrecker and found out she was a dude Catfishing him and I let him know what an idiot he is. It’s all Completely bonkers. I changed my number and hope he doesn’t show up begging me to take him back ever again. He smokes weed every day and his brain is getting worse and worse with age, he’s 48. Cannot believe I fell for someone this psychotic, I think I was traumatized after I became a widow from my high school sweetheart husband dying at age 35. Definitely never dating or falling in love anyone ever again.
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reyunicornpants
Another part of stage 3, is when they purposefully create a dangerous situation for you or things you care about. So they aren't /directly/ responsible, but they might do things like leaving glass on the stove to explode, or leave the sink running an flood the bathroom, ruining your things, or 'fotget' to pick you up, and instead go to bed at night knowing you aren't home and have no way to get home.
Or saying they'll keep the dog safe while you watch the kids, but he doesn't care and lets the dog run directly up to fireworks anyway.
Or get arrested and not even call you to tell you where he is or what's going on when he gets the chance.
Angrily taking off in the middle of the night and being gone for hours without his phone.
Idk what this is called. Just. worse than carelessness. It's knowing if he just takes a step back at the right time, it will hurt you, and he can't be held responsible, because he just let it happen, he didn't DO it.
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Another part of stage 3, is when they purposefully create a dangerous situation for you or things you care about. So they aren't /directly/ responsible, but they might do things like leaving glass on the stove to explode, or leave the sink running an flood the bathroom, ruining your things, or 'fotget' to pick you up, and instead go to bed at night knowing you aren't home and have no way to get home.
Or saying they'll keep the dog safe while you watch the kids, but he doesn't care and lets the dog run directly up to fireworks anyway.
Or get arrested and not even call you to tell you where he is or what's going on when he gets the chance.
Angrily taking off in the middle of the night and being gone for hours without his phone.
Idk what this is called. Just. worse than carelessness. It's knowing if he just takes a step back at the right time, it will hurt you, and he can't be held responsible, because he just let it happen, he didn't DO it.
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annagolod2592
Before watching this video I felt very upset and I didn’t know why, I felt like I want to cry but I felt guilty to cry because I have no valid reason for that. While watching this video I realized that all of those things mentioned is the description of my parents. And it is just sooo hard to fight your emotions when you still feel guilty for that and realizing that there was both emotional and physical abuse. It is so hard realizing you have been gaslighted. And then the worst part is when as soon as you go away, they start being so nice. But I know that this is a trap and as soon as I become closer, the cycle will start over. But I still feel bad cause they are nice to me and I go away. And I know this will not stop which makes me stay with my guilt but also stay away from abuse. This is not even my parents, but my mom specifically. This video made me cry a lot but this were tears of realizing that my situation was bad and it is not my fault
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Before watching this video I felt very upset and I didn’t know why, I felt like I want to cry but I felt guilty to cry because I have no valid reason for that. While watching this video I realized that all of those things mentioned is the description of my parents. And it is just sooo hard to fight your emotions when you still feel guilty for that and realizing that there was both emotional and physical abuse. It is so hard realizing you have been gaslighted. And then the worst part is when as soon as you go away, they start being so nice. But I know that this is a trap and as soon as I become closer, the cycle will start over. But I still feel bad cause they are nice to me and I go away. And I know this will not stop which makes me stay with my guilt but also stay away from abuse. This is not even my parents, but my mom specifically. This video made me cry a lot but this were tears of realizing that my situation was bad and it is not my fault
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kamiw5864
What's worse is when the abuser sees videos like this, listens and grabs on to these things in order to use it against the person they are abusing. My abuser told me I was verbally abusive because I used Iwhen I came to him to talk about how something made me feel. He'd say Well, you -xyz- and I'm hearing a lot of I statements, you have an ego and anger issue
It just devastated me eventually. He was a person who I thought truly loved me and we would grow old together. Unfortunately he was taught very toxic behavior toward women from his father but mostly from shitty men he thought were cool when he was a teen and young adult. He sees women as crazy and not worth more than having the honor of taking care of him, his house and his 30 year old son who still lives at home as if he were a ten year old child (and is perfectly capable of moving out but is so codependent on his dad that he's just there)
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What's worse is when the abuser sees videos like this, listens and grabs on to these things in order to use it against the person they are abusing. My abuser told me I was verbally abusive because I used Iwhen I came to him to talk about how something made me feel. He'd say Well, you -xyz- and I'm hearing a lot of I statements, you have an ego and anger issue
It just devastated me eventually. He was a person who I thought truly loved me and we would grow old together. Unfortunately he was taught very toxic behavior toward women from his father but mostly from shitty men he thought were cool when he was a teen and young adult. He sees women as crazy and not worth more than having the honor of taking care of him, his house and his 30 year old son who still lives at home as if he were a ten year old child (and is perfectly capable of moving out but is so codependent on his dad that he's just there)
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Nozensation
I think my parent is abusing me. I think I'm too deep into blaming myself that I don't even know if I'm lying or just blaming. She will just shift my trauma as I've suffered more than you my silence is like an answer to them that they are right. I always feel wrong, I don't know myself. Maybe I'm so exhausted and tired that I can't help but slump in my bed. I think I'm a kind person, I know how to help but there's something in the back of my mind. Like I'm glued to my phone for comfort. I don't know, I'm lost, and did I just misunderstand her Am I in the wrong for being lazy Am I lazy I do my chores when they are gone, when they are away because I feel safe. Because whenever I make a mistake on doing my chores. I always get verbal words that I don't want to mention. I act not affected by it, I toughen myself for these upcoming beatings and words. Is this just discipline
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I think my parent is abusing me. I think I'm too deep into blaming myself that I don't even know if I'm lying or just blaming. She will just shift my trauma as I've suffered more than you my silence is like an answer to them that they are right. I always feel wrong, I don't know myself. Maybe I'm so exhausted and tired that I can't help but slump in my bed. I think I'm a kind person, I know how to help but there's something in the back of my mind. Like I'm glued to my phone for comfort. I don't know, I'm lost, and did I just misunderstand her Am I in the wrong for being lazy Am I lazy I do my chores when they are gone, when they are away because I feel safe. Because whenever I make a mistake on doing my chores. I always get verbal words that I don't want to mention. I act not affected by it, I toughen myself for these upcoming beatings and words. Is this just discipline
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sirphil13
There's also that stage after the dreaded discard stage and some time passes that you are finally prepared to move on, is about the time the abuser hoovers you back in with a 2nd love bombing. But, you'll noticed the cycle repeating again, but more frequent this time and a little more abusive. It usually takes 7x before a narcissistic victim had enough and finally leaves for good. Not for me, the 2nd time, I noticed the abuse was more intense, and I thought a 3rd hoover, is going to be worse. I am not going to stay if it only gets worse So, I left. no chance for a 3rd hoover attempt for me, I made sure she wouldn't by exposing everything she did that was abusive and manipulative, that I was aware of everything throughout the relationship. Just prepare yourself, they don't like being exposed and like a trapped animal, they will lash out. best you go quietly.
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There's also that stage after the dreaded discard stage and some time passes that you are finally prepared to move on, is about the time the abuser hoovers you back in with a 2nd love bombing. But, you'll noticed the cycle repeating again, but more frequent this time and a little more abusive. It usually takes 7x before a narcissistic victim had enough and finally leaves for good. Not for me, the 2nd time, I noticed the abuse was more intense, and I thought a 3rd hoover, is going to be worse. I am not going to stay if it only gets worse So, I left. no chance for a 3rd hoover attempt for me, I made sure she wouldn't by exposing everything she did that was abusive and manipulative, that I was aware of everything throughout the relationship. Just prepare yourself, they don't like being exposed and like a trapped animal, they will lash out. best you go quietly.
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petals_n_petulance
I am a teen being abused by my parents on daily basis, no one seems to be able to help me, Im trapped. I dont have a phone to call for helplines just a laptop to work on, this abuse cycle is so relatable to me. I've been beaten, harmed with sharp things, hurt, bled out once even and screamed at, humiliated publicly. I cant escape, i really want to, no one helps me idk what to do. I am just defeated atp. I tried ending this all soo many times, I just always have hope. They gaslight me so much, so much that i dont believe myself anymore. IDK what to do, IDK where to seek help from anymore, the abuse is bad and no one seems to notice it much [not like i make it noticable but still]. I've reached out to my teacher and counsellor before none of them were able to help me much idk what to do. Im just scared
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I am a teen being abused by my parents on daily basis, no one seems to be able to help me, Im trapped. I dont have a phone to call for helplines just a laptop to work on, this abuse cycle is so relatable to me. I've been beaten, harmed with sharp things, hurt, bled out once even and screamed at, humiliated publicly. I cant escape, i really want to, no one helps me idk what to do. I am just defeated atp. I tried ending this all soo many times, I just always have hope. They gaslight me so much, so much that i dont believe myself anymore. IDK what to do, IDK where to seek help from anymore, the abuse is bad and no one seems to notice it much [not like i make it noticable but still]. I've reached out to my teacher and counsellor before none of them were able to help me much idk what to do. Im just scared
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blank26clover
I needed this for so long, since march i been thretend by my ex close friend, i been through similar before so im hopefully not flaling for anything more then i already have, but hes been desperatly trying to have me act in fear of him
If not for the support web i delevoped away from him his change in behaviour would send me off the deap end again
I was supid to belive him when he said he wants to change (he did to just till he didn't need my help anymore)
And now im constantly thinking that i need my ohone charged enough incase i need to call police, my neighbour is aware that i might need to escape to their house, and im scared that hell snap soon enough and actually do something
I just wish i knew why he chose threats of murder instead of talking to me normaly like we always have
reply
I needed this for so long, since march i been thretend by my ex close friend, i been through similar before so im hopefully not flaling for anything more then i already have, but hes been desperatly trying to have me act in fear of him
If not for the support web i delevoped away from him his change in behaviour would send me off the deap end again
I was supid to belive him when he said he wants to change (he did to just till he didn't need my help anymore)
And now im constantly thinking that i need my ohone charged enough incase i need to call police, my neighbour is aware that i might need to escape to their house, and im scared that hell snap soon enough and actually do something
I just wish i knew why he chose threats of murder instead of talking to me normaly like we always have
reply
Frostedcat13
This cycle often happened with my mom. I haven’t really recovered yet from it. It wasn’t till recently I realized how messed up it was. I didn’t really have anyone to look up to aside from my sister. My bio parents weren’t able to take care of us so we got sent to foster care. I got adopted by who is now my mom and dad. My sister left cause something called an apple agreement and my mom wouldn’t let me talk to her for a few years. My dad was always at work or on her side when he got involved. I’m so thankful for my friends who were with me through my childhood. Eventually I was allowed to have contact with my sister again, and as of right now am living with her. It’s helped me heal but I know there’s still a long road ahead of me: 3
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This cycle often happened with my mom. I haven’t really recovered yet from it. It wasn’t till recently I realized how messed up it was. I didn’t really have anyone to look up to aside from my sister. My bio parents weren’t able to take care of us so we got sent to foster care. I got adopted by who is now my mom and dad. My sister left cause something called an apple agreement and my mom wouldn’t let me talk to her for a few years. My dad was always at work or on her side when he got involved. I’m so thankful for my friends who were with me through my childhood. Eventually I was allowed to have contact with my sister again, and as of right now am living with her. It’s helped me heal but I know there’s still a long road ahead of me: 3
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AutumnVulpes369
i dont like turning to the internet, but it seems like my only hope, i have no friends of my own i can trust with this and no one really i can talk to. i have severe social anxiety, CPTSD and ADHD, i literally dont leave the house without my husband. BUT it felt like i went through all of those today alone, and not just today, it feels like its been since the relationship started that this keeps happening to me. BUT again. im not perfect, i do these sometimes too. im just so confused. i feel trapped with no way out, i have no job, no money of my own and im too disabled to work full time even if i had a job. i felt dependant on him since we started dating (6 years ago) he is literally giving me the silent treatment right now.
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i dont like turning to the internet, but it seems like my only hope, i have no friends of my own i can trust with this and no one really i can talk to. i have severe social anxiety, CPTSD and ADHD, i literally dont leave the house without my husband. BUT it felt like i went through all of those today alone, and not just today, it feels like its been since the relationship started that this keeps happening to me. BUT again. im not perfect, i do these sometimes too. im just so confused. i feel trapped with no way out, i have no job, no money of my own and im too disabled to work full time even if i had a job. i felt dependant on him since we started dating (6 years ago) he is literally giving me the silent treatment right now.
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munniupadhyay6392
Please make a video on how children hurt their parents, specifically mothers. The children also carry some of their own traits which neither come from the parents nor their own experiences. Those traits and managing them and acting on them what the child or individual is itself fully responsible for. I am 17 years old and I hurt my mother and father many times due to my harsh words and carelessness and ignorance and then I blame them for being hurt by that was actually my intention. I feel that more than her words hurt me, my words hurt her. Let's not forget how much we owe them and try to forgive them for any childhood trauma they gave us unintentionally because it also was their first time raising a child.
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Please make a video on how children hurt their parents, specifically mothers. The children also carry some of their own traits which neither come from the parents nor their own experiences. Those traits and managing them and acting on them what the child or individual is itself fully responsible for. I am 17 years old and I hurt my mother and father many times due to my harsh words and carelessness and ignorance and then I blame them for being hurt by that was actually my intention. I feel that more than her words hurt me, my words hurt her. Let's not forget how much we owe them and try to forgive them for any childhood trauma they gave us unintentionally because it also was their first time raising a child.
reply
LeviLumsden-c9v
I’m 15, turning 16 in a month my mother is mentally and emotionally abusive. I have attempted my life many times going to school is hard for me it feels like a bolder is on top of me. Going to school is a risk that I try to attempt again if I don’t get up she throws water on me if I don’t get up she locks all my tempt to contact people or at least calm down I don’t know what to do one moment she says she’s so proud of me buying gifts then she’s saying I need to get up or she’s going or inflict consequences im scared to get out because im only a child but iv been grown up since I was 11.
Idk why im saying this but yeah
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I’m 15, turning 16 in a month my mother is mentally and emotionally abusive. I have attempted my life many times going to school is hard for me it feels like a bolder is on top of me. Going to school is a risk that I try to attempt again if I don’t get up she throws water on me if I don’t get up she locks all my tempt to contact people or at least calm down I don’t know what to do one moment she says she’s so proud of me buying gifts then she’s saying I need to get up or she’s going or inflict consequences im scared to get out because im only a child but iv been grown up since I was 11.
Idk why im saying this but yeah
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Torry. H
That's exactly what happened in the 4 years relationship with my avoidant ex-GF. First loveboming at the finest, then a cycle of good days with much happiness and sweet compliments and bad days with very bad mood and sometimes even insulting. She shifted all her problems with herself on me. It was the perfect emotional abuse, and a funny fact is that she told me I was manipulating her. Fortuantely, she finally dumped me in January and I'm now out of this. To all facing the same problem: Hold your boundaries! Once a person has crossed them, leave. Don't fall for the stage 4 trap. It's not worth the pain and headaches.
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That's exactly what happened in the 4 years relationship with my avoidant ex-GF. First loveboming at the finest, then a cycle of good days with much happiness and sweet compliments and bad days with very bad mood and sometimes even insulting. She shifted all her problems with herself on me. It was the perfect emotional abuse, and a funny fact is that she told me I was manipulating her. Fortuantely, she finally dumped me in January and I'm now out of this. To all facing the same problem: Hold your boundaries! Once a person has crossed them, leave. Don't fall for the stage 4 trap. It's not worth the pain and headaches.
reply
achilliesrun5162
I have been stuck at stage 3 there is no calm. I have been constantly abused for almost 2 decades now. And i only barely stopped the physical abuse by beating my abusers (mother, father, teachers, students.
I have expierenced every type of abuse. I have been physically, verbally, and mentally tortured. Like look up the definition of torture.
Still I cannot leave the house of my abusers (mom and pa) because I cant afford my own house or car. I cant get a job or go back to college. I dont know how I havent committed suicide yet. I have almost died 30 times. I am broken so so broken.
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I have been stuck at stage 3 there is no calm. I have been constantly abused for almost 2 decades now. And i only barely stopped the physical abuse by beating my abusers (mother, father, teachers, students.
I have expierenced every type of abuse. I have been physically, verbally, and mentally tortured. Like look up the definition of torture.
Still I cannot leave the house of my abusers (mom and pa) because I cant afford my own house or car. I cant get a job or go back to college. I dont know how I havent committed suicide yet. I have almost died 30 times. I am broken so so broken.
reply
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