How to Deal with Losing a Parent at an Early Age
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Date: 2025-03-24
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Comments and reviews: 20
maekontov3561
So. I'm 22, and i am sorry because this is gonna be really long. I lost my mother last year (13th of August 2024, she was 50 years old. She was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer in various places. I was very positive throughout everything and she was too. She was very strong and she fought really hard. She managed to overcome cancer in places were doctors were saying were untreatable. They were shocked and we were too. That gave us a lot of hope though.
The last time she was about to almost beat cancer (almost a year later) i had a dream that unfortunately became reality. Cancer suddenly went into her spinal canal almost destroying it and new tumors in her vertebrae that actually broke some of her bones. She lost touch with the environment not recognising anyone or anything. She was in the hospital with high levels of morphine. After 3 days she started to recognise everyone. I knew the moment that she saw us in the hospital during hours where we were supposed to work, that she'd understand that she was dying soon, even though she didn't tell us that right away, but we couldn't not go see her.
The doctors told us that she could die from cardiac arrest at any moment. After a week and a half in the hospital she indeed die from cardiac arrest. We didn't try to resuscitate her out of fear that she'd wake up as a vegetable, in which case she'd suffer even more.
After she died i was thinking: what can i do to ease everyones pain (like i didn't already have my own to deal with. Parentification is so real. Because of how i acted everyone thought i was in denial. I knew and had accepted that she had died though, i was just not thinking about it and was suppresing and delaying my grief so i could support everyone.
After some months i decided to focus on me and that's where i felt so confused. i was watching videos and pictures of my mother and i felt so disconnected even though i love her so much. I had seen psychologists for a long while but it didn't really helped my case. I really wish there was a standard guide on how to grieve so i can pass all the steps and just move on, but something like that does not exist. Everyone experiences it differently. You never know when it will hit you. It just will.
Before she got sick we were all working in our family's company. After she got sick, i was waiting for her to get better and come back but unfortunately she didn't. It was like someone was desperately trying to take her away from us. Now i have to take her place in our company completely, while knowing less than have the things she did.
When you have your parents at work too it's like there's no place to forget that you lost them, even for just a little bit.
Suppressing your emotions will eventually lead to depression and you don't even notice it until someone tells you. When you start to lose interest even in things you used to like and you wake up not wanting to get up or do anything, or everything disturbs you for some reason that you don't understand, it could be a sign.
Everything in that video hit a very sensitive spot. You won't get over the loss, you'll just learn to leave with it and with time it will probably be a little easier. I'm very sorry for anyone that's lost a parent, especially if it was early and please seek help. Support yourself first before you do it for anyone else. Don't ignore your own grief and needs. No one will help you more than yourself.
(You can't imagine how many details i deleted so i could make this shorter and please excuse any mistakes, english is not my native language)
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So. I'm 22, and i am sorry because this is gonna be really long. I lost my mother last year (13th of August 2024, she was 50 years old. She was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer in various places. I was very positive throughout everything and she was too. She was very strong and she fought really hard. She managed to overcome cancer in places were doctors were saying were untreatable. They were shocked and we were too. That gave us a lot of hope though.
The last time she was about to almost beat cancer (almost a year later) i had a dream that unfortunately became reality. Cancer suddenly went into her spinal canal almost destroying it and new tumors in her vertebrae that actually broke some of her bones. She lost touch with the environment not recognising anyone or anything. She was in the hospital with high levels of morphine. After 3 days she started to recognise everyone. I knew the moment that she saw us in the hospital during hours where we were supposed to work, that she'd understand that she was dying soon, even though she didn't tell us that right away, but we couldn't not go see her.
The doctors told us that she could die from cardiac arrest at any moment. After a week and a half in the hospital she indeed die from cardiac arrest. We didn't try to resuscitate her out of fear that she'd wake up as a vegetable, in which case she'd suffer even more.
After she died i was thinking: what can i do to ease everyones pain (like i didn't already have my own to deal with. Parentification is so real. Because of how i acted everyone thought i was in denial. I knew and had accepted that she had died though, i was just not thinking about it and was suppresing and delaying my grief so i could support everyone.
After some months i decided to focus on me and that's where i felt so confused. i was watching videos and pictures of my mother and i felt so disconnected even though i love her so much. I had seen psychologists for a long while but it didn't really helped my case. I really wish there was a standard guide on how to grieve so i can pass all the steps and just move on, but something like that does not exist. Everyone experiences it differently. You never know when it will hit you. It just will.
Before she got sick we were all working in our family's company. After she got sick, i was waiting for her to get better and come back but unfortunately she didn't. It was like someone was desperately trying to take her away from us. Now i have to take her place in our company completely, while knowing less than have the things she did.
When you have your parents at work too it's like there's no place to forget that you lost them, even for just a little bit.
Suppressing your emotions will eventually lead to depression and you don't even notice it until someone tells you. When you start to lose interest even in things you used to like and you wake up not wanting to get up or do anything, or everything disturbs you for some reason that you don't understand, it could be a sign.
Everything in that video hit a very sensitive spot. You won't get over the loss, you'll just learn to leave with it and with time it will probably be a little easier. I'm very sorry for anyone that's lost a parent, especially if it was early and please seek help. Support yourself first before you do it for anyone else. Don't ignore your own grief and needs. No one will help you more than yourself.
(You can't imagine how many details i deleted so i could make this shorter and please excuse any mistakes, english is not my native language)
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MegaManNeo
My father passed away when I was just in 3rd grade, some time around New Year's Eve 2000. I remember he first went into the hospital and my mom breaking out in tears. Ever since she seemed like isolating us more and more in the world because she had no one to talk to, really and young me not understanding what's going on just yet. It took maybe like 6 months but when he passed away, I too was very upset in school and couldn't focus. Eventually however my mother struggled way more with his passing than I did, who mostly remembers him for only introducing me to computers when I was in kindergarten and otherwise mostly beating us up.
His family didn't let us keep anything since they were from Spain and he stuck here in Germany to be with us. They took what they could, broke up the contact and never again did I hear anything about my father. As for my mother, she still dreamed about him and was sad shortly before she passed away.
And speaking about her. my mother really suddenly passed away half a year before the world wide pandemic. By that I mean she visited me and my roommates on Saturday morning and talked with me like normal. She brought me a little gift and we talked about what we plan for Christmas since time flies and we were already at the end of July. On Monday I slept terribly and was in a real annoyed mood, couldn't explain why. On Wednesday the police ringed the door bell and told me she was found dead in her apartment. Apparently her colleagues wondered why she didn't appear at work. I was confused when the policemen talked to me but the second they left the shared apartment I lived in during that time, I started to cry, breath heavily and couldn't get my mind together anymore. My roommates spend some trying to stabilize me by listen and the next day another supportive person I know came to visit and to give me some strength to stay through this. Really needed it too since I am rather poor and if it wasn't for her and someone else's help, my mom wouldn't even have her own grave but be buried on some shared placed. The police and local authorities forbid me to enter my mother's apartment too, so I wasn't even allowed to take photo albums, plushies or anything else of personal value with me, which brakes me ever since when I think about it. In fact, it gave me the feeling that I don't deserve to life either and that it's the best to quickly pass away as well, something no one cares about anyway.
I visit mama's grave once every month and take care of it, talk to her whenever I am there and write lots of memories into my diary. These days my life has gotten better again and I can see a brighter tomorrow again but it sure still hurts. Her birthday would be in less than a month from now too, so I will visit her on that day too. Last year, I played Mario Kart Double Dash for her birthday as she really loved that game from what I remember.
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My father passed away when I was just in 3rd grade, some time around New Year's Eve 2000. I remember he first went into the hospital and my mom breaking out in tears. Ever since she seemed like isolating us more and more in the world because she had no one to talk to, really and young me not understanding what's going on just yet. It took maybe like 6 months but when he passed away, I too was very upset in school and couldn't focus. Eventually however my mother struggled way more with his passing than I did, who mostly remembers him for only introducing me to computers when I was in kindergarten and otherwise mostly beating us up.
His family didn't let us keep anything since they were from Spain and he stuck here in Germany to be with us. They took what they could, broke up the contact and never again did I hear anything about my father. As for my mother, she still dreamed about him and was sad shortly before she passed away.
And speaking about her. my mother really suddenly passed away half a year before the world wide pandemic. By that I mean she visited me and my roommates on Saturday morning and talked with me like normal. She brought me a little gift and we talked about what we plan for Christmas since time flies and we were already at the end of July. On Monday I slept terribly and was in a real annoyed mood, couldn't explain why. On Wednesday the police ringed the door bell and told me she was found dead in her apartment. Apparently her colleagues wondered why she didn't appear at work. I was confused when the policemen talked to me but the second they left the shared apartment I lived in during that time, I started to cry, breath heavily and couldn't get my mind together anymore. My roommates spend some trying to stabilize me by listen and the next day another supportive person I know came to visit and to give me some strength to stay through this. Really needed it too since I am rather poor and if it wasn't for her and someone else's help, my mom wouldn't even have her own grave but be buried on some shared placed. The police and local authorities forbid me to enter my mother's apartment too, so I wasn't even allowed to take photo albums, plushies or anything else of personal value with me, which brakes me ever since when I think about it. In fact, it gave me the feeling that I don't deserve to life either and that it's the best to quickly pass away as well, something no one cares about anyway.
I visit mama's grave once every month and take care of it, talk to her whenever I am there and write lots of memories into my diary. These days my life has gotten better again and I can see a brighter tomorrow again but it sure still hurts. Her birthday would be in less than a month from now too, so I will visit her on that day too. Last year, I played Mario Kart Double Dash for her birthday as she really loved that game from what I remember.
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psych2go
The feeling of losing someone young is further complicated when the child has no other parent to care for them and/or that parent who passed was abusive or harming their life in some way. My mothers death felt so strange as i didnt have almost anytime to process it with all the complications of moving to a new city with my grandparents (my father had divorced my mother a few years prior and deemed himself not fit to take care of us) as i was about to graduate middle school and enter high school and as my brother was about to graduate from his high school, everything felt like it was rushing by but by the time i had actually got to start to process any of it i was already starting new classes. i wasnt told the cause of it until 4 years later my brother who thought i knew already. Even though i had a unhealthy relationship with her, with her trying to live her dreams through me, using me as a therapist, and even insisting on showering and sleeping together all the way until a few montths before her passing; i still feel so sad, for a long time i felt i was wrong to feel angry or sad about her death, i felt i was supposed to be happy as her death improved my life in some ways but i still felt this overwhelming guilt over our argument that night and especially over not saying goodbye or telling her i loved her before she went out on that date. One of the worst feelings during all of though was people who also lost parents telling me that they understand me only to find out all of them lost them when they were 3 and had no memories of their parents, which i feel like is a vastly different feeling of loss, the same with a now ex who said they understood me now after losing their dog. Another thing that really sucks is if your in a relationship at that young age whilst that happens and not having anyone to tell you if its becoming an unhealthy or even an abusive one, so you get stuck in it assuming its normal and good because they feel like the only one whose ever there for you until you eventually get old enough to realize its not healthy and the only reason theyre still with you is because losing a parent the fear of abandonment that comes with it makes it very easy to manipulate you into staying no matter what they do. The 6 year anniversary of her death is coming and for the first time i feel like im actually being given a chance to fully process it now that I have no school or work to worry over and have no more toxic people in my life trying to make my grieving time about them.
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The feeling of losing someone young is further complicated when the child has no other parent to care for them and/or that parent who passed was abusive or harming their life in some way. My mothers death felt so strange as i didnt have almost anytime to process it with all the complications of moving to a new city with my grandparents (my father had divorced my mother a few years prior and deemed himself not fit to take care of us) as i was about to graduate middle school and enter high school and as my brother was about to graduate from his high school, everything felt like it was rushing by but by the time i had actually got to start to process any of it i was already starting new classes. i wasnt told the cause of it until 4 years later my brother who thought i knew already. Even though i had a unhealthy relationship with her, with her trying to live her dreams through me, using me as a therapist, and even insisting on showering and sleeping together all the way until a few montths before her passing; i still feel so sad, for a long time i felt i was wrong to feel angry or sad about her death, i felt i was supposed to be happy as her death improved my life in some ways but i still felt this overwhelming guilt over our argument that night and especially over not saying goodbye or telling her i loved her before she went out on that date. One of the worst feelings during all of though was people who also lost parents telling me that they understand me only to find out all of them lost them when they were 3 and had no memories of their parents, which i feel like is a vastly different feeling of loss, the same with a now ex who said they understood me now after losing their dog. Another thing that really sucks is if your in a relationship at that young age whilst that happens and not having anyone to tell you if its becoming an unhealthy or even an abusive one, so you get stuck in it assuming its normal and good because they feel like the only one whose ever there for you until you eventually get old enough to realize its not healthy and the only reason theyre still with you is because losing a parent the fear of abandonment that comes with it makes it very easy to manipulate you into staying no matter what they do. The 6 year anniversary of her death is coming and for the first time i feel like im actually being given a chance to fully process it now that I have no school or work to worry over and have no more toxic people in my life trying to make my grieving time about them.
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mars_thee_star
I lost my mom to suicide at 15. What was worse than losing my mom was the fact that everything changed when she did. All of her stuff was sold, given away, or thrown out. Pictures were taken down. We couldn't even talk about her anymore even when I begged. My dad moved on so quickly and his new partner started changing everything in the house to the point of practically forcing me out of the house at 18 because I couldn't handle the new rules she was influencing my father to make. All the seemingly positive change in the household solidified the fallacy that life was better without my mother in it and therefore the same could be true about me. I struggle with the same things she did and then some. My problems went ignored because my dad got the idea in his head that there was no saving me either and nothing he could do would help me avoid the same fate. His therapist told him that someone who is determined to end their life will find a way and he took it to mean you can't help someone who is drowning. I have survived homelessness and losing everything and everyone that mattered to me since then. Somehow I managed to find people who actually care about my wellbeing and support me in the way that best suits my needs.
I am 23 now, 8. 5 years later. I am finally healing as I should have then. My boyfriend lost his dad at the age of 9. We don't talk about it and I won't make him. Just like I needed to talk to someone about my mom he may need someone who won't talk about his dad. We understand each other's pain and will continue to heal and grow together. He is the one person who won't pity me for my losses. He shows me true love and what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. His family is amazing and have been so kind and accepting of me. He talks about being the lucky one in the relationship, but truly I believe I am the one who found something so impossibly special. And my dad He is happily oblivious to the fact that my siblings and I don't talk to him much anymore and want nothing to do with him or his new happy replacement family. He told me long ago to go find and make my own family and I finally have.
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I lost my mom to suicide at 15. What was worse than losing my mom was the fact that everything changed when she did. All of her stuff was sold, given away, or thrown out. Pictures were taken down. We couldn't even talk about her anymore even when I begged. My dad moved on so quickly and his new partner started changing everything in the house to the point of practically forcing me out of the house at 18 because I couldn't handle the new rules she was influencing my father to make. All the seemingly positive change in the household solidified the fallacy that life was better without my mother in it and therefore the same could be true about me. I struggle with the same things she did and then some. My problems went ignored because my dad got the idea in his head that there was no saving me either and nothing he could do would help me avoid the same fate. His therapist told him that someone who is determined to end their life will find a way and he took it to mean you can't help someone who is drowning. I have survived homelessness and losing everything and everyone that mattered to me since then. Somehow I managed to find people who actually care about my wellbeing and support me in the way that best suits my needs.
I am 23 now, 8. 5 years later. I am finally healing as I should have then. My boyfriend lost his dad at the age of 9. We don't talk about it and I won't make him. Just like I needed to talk to someone about my mom he may need someone who won't talk about his dad. We understand each other's pain and will continue to heal and grow together. He is the one person who won't pity me for my losses. He shows me true love and what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. His family is amazing and have been so kind and accepting of me. He talks about being the lucky one in the relationship, but truly I believe I am the one who found something so impossibly special. And my dad He is happily oblivious to the fact that my siblings and I don't talk to him much anymore and want nothing to do with him or his new happy replacement family. He told me long ago to go find and make my own family and I finally have.
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Kokushibo789
Never before have I been so offended by something that I 100% agree with
My mother died less than a month before I could turn 3 years old, but she already had my two younger siblings. Since I was so young I have no memories of her or any idea who she was outside of the INCREDIBLY vague descriptions my dad always gave whenever I asked. I always felt disconnected from people my age as a kid, hating anything that was childish in my young eyes, leading me to have no friends until high school. I think the main reason for that was probably the fact that once I turned 7, I was basically thrust into the role of co-parent for my dad, constantly having to help him with just about everything that I could. On top of all of that, I’ve always been very emotional, so any time I heard anything pertaining to mothers up until I turned 12 caused me to start crying. I didn’t know why that happened for the longest time and I still don’t, but I forced myself to bottle it away(I know that’s dumb now) as I thought it was better to not feel than to hurt. And what Psych2Go said about the abandonment issues is very real, anytime I had to(and embarrassingly still have to, say goodbye to anyone, I always got way too overly emotional despite the fact that communication could happen at the tap of a screen. My abandonment issues also lead to complications with my first few relationships as I would always be clingy, and even a bit possessive sometimes, even though I tried to stop it, which lead to me having a tough time maintaining relationships and I still do have that issue today.
Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for taking time out of your life to hear my sob story. I’m sorry if my thoughts seem a bit jumbled or disorganized as I am not in the best mental state while typing this but I did my best
Best of luck in all you do
Remember, you are loved, even if you don’t know it
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Never before have I been so offended by something that I 100% agree with
My mother died less than a month before I could turn 3 years old, but she already had my two younger siblings. Since I was so young I have no memories of her or any idea who she was outside of the INCREDIBLY vague descriptions my dad always gave whenever I asked. I always felt disconnected from people my age as a kid, hating anything that was childish in my young eyes, leading me to have no friends until high school. I think the main reason for that was probably the fact that once I turned 7, I was basically thrust into the role of co-parent for my dad, constantly having to help him with just about everything that I could. On top of all of that, I’ve always been very emotional, so any time I heard anything pertaining to mothers up until I turned 12 caused me to start crying. I didn’t know why that happened for the longest time and I still don’t, but I forced myself to bottle it away(I know that’s dumb now) as I thought it was better to not feel than to hurt. And what Psych2Go said about the abandonment issues is very real, anytime I had to(and embarrassingly still have to, say goodbye to anyone, I always got way too overly emotional despite the fact that communication could happen at the tap of a screen. My abandonment issues also lead to complications with my first few relationships as I would always be clingy, and even a bit possessive sometimes, even though I tried to stop it, which lead to me having a tough time maintaining relationships and I still do have that issue today.
Anyways, if you made it this far, thanks for taking time out of your life to hear my sob story. I’m sorry if my thoughts seem a bit jumbled or disorganized as I am not in the best mental state while typing this but I did my best
Best of luck in all you do
Remember, you are loved, even if you don’t know it
reply
lazybutclueless789
My mom passed when i was 6 years old and i started living with my grandparents. Eventually my dad remarried to someone that was not at all a mother to me, we barely spoke to each other, she never comfort me, just nothing. My dad tried forcing us to connect like mother and daughter but she feels awkward around me. Over time my dad started becoming more abusive from physical to verbal abuse and he would criticize me over the dumbest things, down play me and my special interests at 10 and he told me that im too old for toys once I turn 10. One day someone gave me and my brother a massive teddy bear and the teddy bear was supposed to help us with the grief of our mother but I couldn't bring it to my dad's house since my dad told me I was too old for toys, so it always stayed at my grandparents house.
One night I had the massive teddy bear in my room talking to it, until I snapped and I took a large pair of scissors and I started cutting the back of the bear with the scissors and after that I fell to the floor that was completely covered with the teddy bear stuffing, and I started to cry because that teddy bear was supposed to represent my mom but it started feeling like I k! lled my mom, but all i wanted was for my mom to come back. Few years of my dad being abusive my dad decided to move with his remarried wife and that caused us to be separated from him. Throughout these years our dad wanted to take us out places on Saturdays and take us back to our grandma's house. Now im 18 and my dad is trying live near us and trying to take my brother's personal info and use it for a house that my dad will live in, plus he is planning to see us less and less because he wants someone to teach us how to drive and once we do he wants his kids to drive him places, i mean my brother can but I will never
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My mom passed when i was 6 years old and i started living with my grandparents. Eventually my dad remarried to someone that was not at all a mother to me, we barely spoke to each other, she never comfort me, just nothing. My dad tried forcing us to connect like mother and daughter but she feels awkward around me. Over time my dad started becoming more abusive from physical to verbal abuse and he would criticize me over the dumbest things, down play me and my special interests at 10 and he told me that im too old for toys once I turn 10. One day someone gave me and my brother a massive teddy bear and the teddy bear was supposed to help us with the grief of our mother but I couldn't bring it to my dad's house since my dad told me I was too old for toys, so it always stayed at my grandparents house.
One night I had the massive teddy bear in my room talking to it, until I snapped and I took a large pair of scissors and I started cutting the back of the bear with the scissors and after that I fell to the floor that was completely covered with the teddy bear stuffing, and I started to cry because that teddy bear was supposed to represent my mom but it started feeling like I k! lled my mom, but all i wanted was for my mom to come back. Few years of my dad being abusive my dad decided to move with his remarried wife and that caused us to be separated from him. Throughout these years our dad wanted to take us out places on Saturdays and take us back to our grandma's house. Now im 18 and my dad is trying live near us and trying to take my brother's personal info and use it for a house that my dad will live in, plus he is planning to see us less and less because he wants someone to teach us how to drive and once we do he wants his kids to drive him places, i mean my brother can but I will never
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SAINTLUCIFER_WG
Now I am not sure everyone will agree with me as this being considered early life but my mom passed away recently to stage 4 breast cancer, I was 19 when she passed, I am 20 now, that's because she passed 5 days before my birthday, I have felt incredibly empty since she passed, it's just been me and my dad, who previously didn't even live here for around 4 years, my dad and the rest of the family are now fighting all the time about things even more than they used to, and I honestly most days just feels like life, isn't worth it anymore, like it just feels like nothing in my life is going well anymore, I wasn't really taught very well by either of my parents growing up, how to start becoming an adult, since mom was always in a wheelchair, getting treatments done for her cancer, and eventually had to start working a job just like my dad is, I basically ended up with almost no guidance from my parents, and my siblings were much older than me, so the only one close to my age was someone I didn't even get along with, we fought all the time, now upset at my family, because they never told me mom was already cremated without me knowing, I have not had a grave to mourn over still, or a memorial or funeral, it's made even acknowledging my emotions, difficult, two nights ago I finally cried about mom's passing. but it honestly put me in an even worse mood and state than before, and I haven't been able to properly grieve still, Rest in peace mom. btw she died about a month ago, february 7th
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Now I am not sure everyone will agree with me as this being considered early life but my mom passed away recently to stage 4 breast cancer, I was 19 when she passed, I am 20 now, that's because she passed 5 days before my birthday, I have felt incredibly empty since she passed, it's just been me and my dad, who previously didn't even live here for around 4 years, my dad and the rest of the family are now fighting all the time about things even more than they used to, and I honestly most days just feels like life, isn't worth it anymore, like it just feels like nothing in my life is going well anymore, I wasn't really taught very well by either of my parents growing up, how to start becoming an adult, since mom was always in a wheelchair, getting treatments done for her cancer, and eventually had to start working a job just like my dad is, I basically ended up with almost no guidance from my parents, and my siblings were much older than me, so the only one close to my age was someone I didn't even get along with, we fought all the time, now upset at my family, because they never told me mom was already cremated without me knowing, I have not had a grave to mourn over still, or a memorial or funeral, it's made even acknowledging my emotions, difficult, two nights ago I finally cried about mom's passing. but it honestly put me in an even worse mood and state than before, and I haven't been able to properly grieve still, Rest in peace mom. btw she died about a month ago, february 7th
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psych2go
I lost the only grandmother that cared when i was 16 now 33 the only grandparents that are alive never cared. The 2 that are alive made sure my parents split. I had from a young age i had to step up to help raise my younger sister. I always worked hard to help mom dad got remarried and is always been about him. The grandma that died was so great with my older brother younger sister and I. I still hear my dads side talk bad about my Grandma on moms side up ( always away from my siblings and mom. My dad joins sometimes and i just stopped talking diving more into work and now i don't know how to cope with it. Since 16 i got my first job been working since at 18 started work 40 plus hours a week to not feel just focus on work. I cant talk to dad about anything and i am finally glad my siblings are talking to dad. I just feel like cutting out the toxic side out but living in a religious town that believes in putting everything underneath the rug I don't know if i am correct or not. I just feel like giving up is the only option I have. My brother adopted the same mindset as the town i live and they said forgiveness and allowing the people that harmed me emotionally and verbally is the only way to heal properly. I dont feel that way. I put up walls i know but dont know what else to do. I was interested in someone but they told her lies about me she moved on. Moving into this town was the biggest mistake I did. I just want this nightmare to end and be left alone.
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I lost the only grandmother that cared when i was 16 now 33 the only grandparents that are alive never cared. The 2 that are alive made sure my parents split. I had from a young age i had to step up to help raise my younger sister. I always worked hard to help mom dad got remarried and is always been about him. The grandma that died was so great with my older brother younger sister and I. I still hear my dads side talk bad about my Grandma on moms side up ( always away from my siblings and mom. My dad joins sometimes and i just stopped talking diving more into work and now i don't know how to cope with it. Since 16 i got my first job been working since at 18 started work 40 plus hours a week to not feel just focus on work. I cant talk to dad about anything and i am finally glad my siblings are talking to dad. I just feel like cutting out the toxic side out but living in a religious town that believes in putting everything underneath the rug I don't know if i am correct or not. I just feel like giving up is the only option I have. My brother adopted the same mindset as the town i live and they said forgiveness and allowing the people that harmed me emotionally and verbally is the only way to heal properly. I dont feel that way. I put up walls i know but dont know what else to do. I was interested in someone but they told her lies about me she moved on. Moving into this town was the biggest mistake I did. I just want this nightmare to end and be left alone.
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Lucamilouz
Thanks for this video. My mom passed away 4 months ago, a month before I turned 17, due to suicide during a psychosis while I was at school. I'm still learning to cope with it. She was really the most important pillar in my life. In part thanks to her i beat depression a few years back. All my life, she was always there supporting me; getting hyped over any minor thing I achieved or comforting me after something bad happened. And now, I tend to think about how she would react over things Im achieving and I realize how much I crave for having her here with me again. To be able to give her a hug, to have a chat with her, to get home from school and instantly hear again how was your day
Since I was a little kid I struggled to make friends, and she was like my best friend. She was the person I knew I could ALWAYS count on. The person that would always be there for me no matter what. Because she was there when I isolated myself and fell into depression. She was there when my friends from school excluded me from our friend group and left me all alone, without feeling even the slightest bit of sorry for me.
I miss her everyday. There's not a single moment where I don't feel her absence. The fact that I will no longer see her or talk to her for the rest of my life is devastating. Because, sooner or later, those I need mom moments always come, and I have to just remind myself of the fact that that need will never go away again.
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Thanks for this video. My mom passed away 4 months ago, a month before I turned 17, due to suicide during a psychosis while I was at school. I'm still learning to cope with it. She was really the most important pillar in my life. In part thanks to her i beat depression a few years back. All my life, she was always there supporting me; getting hyped over any minor thing I achieved or comforting me after something bad happened. And now, I tend to think about how she would react over things Im achieving and I realize how much I crave for having her here with me again. To be able to give her a hug, to have a chat with her, to get home from school and instantly hear again how was your day
Since I was a little kid I struggled to make friends, and she was like my best friend. She was the person I knew I could ALWAYS count on. The person that would always be there for me no matter what. Because she was there when I isolated myself and fell into depression. She was there when my friends from school excluded me from our friend group and left me all alone, without feeling even the slightest bit of sorry for me.
I miss her everyday. There's not a single moment where I don't feel her absence. The fact that I will no longer see her or talk to her for the rest of my life is devastating. Because, sooner or later, those I need mom moments always come, and I have to just remind myself of the fact that that need will never go away again.
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chingching1479
I lost my dad when I was 19. He died due to complications because of a stroke that happened 3 months before he died and 10 months before I graduated from college. I came from a very poor family and my parents worked day and night to support me and my older brother. I made sure to do my best at school to make my parents proud and I know graduating from college is one of the best things I can give them. I was very immature back then. Growing up as the youngest child made me feel like I’m always gonna be a child. But when my father passed away, I became mature without even realizing. On the day of my graduation, while I was on stage, my eyes searched for my mother amongst the sea of people and when I finally did, I saw her crying. If it was the immature me I probably bawled my eyes out right then and there but I made sure to composed myself and smiled at her. After seeing her so sad when my dad passed away, I made a mental note to myself to be brave and strong for my mom. I don’t want to make her even more sad if she sees me crying. I’m turning 29 this year and to this day, I still remember everything as if it was yesterday. I never really moved on from that day, I just learned to live with it. Everything mentioned in this video is right on point. Hugs to everyone who lost their parents at a young age. The pain may never go away but I hope that your parent’s memories fill your heart with never ending love and joy.
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I lost my dad when I was 19. He died due to complications because of a stroke that happened 3 months before he died and 10 months before I graduated from college. I came from a very poor family and my parents worked day and night to support me and my older brother. I made sure to do my best at school to make my parents proud and I know graduating from college is one of the best things I can give them. I was very immature back then. Growing up as the youngest child made me feel like I’m always gonna be a child. But when my father passed away, I became mature without even realizing. On the day of my graduation, while I was on stage, my eyes searched for my mother amongst the sea of people and when I finally did, I saw her crying. If it was the immature me I probably bawled my eyes out right then and there but I made sure to composed myself and smiled at her. After seeing her so sad when my dad passed away, I made a mental note to myself to be brave and strong for my mom. I don’t want to make her even more sad if she sees me crying. I’m turning 29 this year and to this day, I still remember everything as if it was yesterday. I never really moved on from that day, I just learned to live with it. Everything mentioned in this video is right on point. Hugs to everyone who lost their parents at a young age. The pain may never go away but I hope that your parent’s memories fill your heart with never ending love and joy.
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GwilwilethNebula
I'm 16 now.
When I was 10 my parents broke up. I stayed with my father, but still held contact with my mother.
Last year my father died. He said that in the hospital they would make some test spread over two days and the he'll come back and be better. On the second day my mother came to my school and we drove to the hospital. I was told he would die and just a few hours later he did. My sister and I moved to my mom, her new husband and their child. Everything was changing so fast. My father was for me the most important person in the world. We shared so much. Now I live together with four people instead of two, but sometimes I feel so lonely.
He once promised me that he would stay with me at least until I finished my school, but apparently he couldn't hold his promise. As well as me. I began to make a painting and my father really was looking forward for me to finish it. Jokingly he asked me if I'd be finished before he dies, because I often struggle with finishing my projects and I said yes, of course. I never did.
After over a year has past I feel better, but it still hurts so much thinking about the things he never could experience with me and the things we did together that will never be the same.
Also we had to give away the dog I've grown up with, because we couldn't take care of him anymore.
Papa, Balu ich vermisse euch
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I'm 16 now.
When I was 10 my parents broke up. I stayed with my father, but still held contact with my mother.
Last year my father died. He said that in the hospital they would make some test spread over two days and the he'll come back and be better. On the second day my mother came to my school and we drove to the hospital. I was told he would die and just a few hours later he did. My sister and I moved to my mom, her new husband and their child. Everything was changing so fast. My father was for me the most important person in the world. We shared so much. Now I live together with four people instead of two, but sometimes I feel so lonely.
He once promised me that he would stay with me at least until I finished my school, but apparently he couldn't hold his promise. As well as me. I began to make a painting and my father really was looking forward for me to finish it. Jokingly he asked me if I'd be finished before he dies, because I often struggle with finishing my projects and I said yes, of course. I never did.
After over a year has past I feel better, but it still hurts so much thinking about the things he never could experience with me and the things we did together that will never be the same.
Also we had to give away the dog I've grown up with, because we couldn't take care of him anymore.
Papa, Balu ich vermisse euch
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paulknight5018
I commend and feel the loss that some of the stories here. Mine was a living grief where I had to look after a mother between 11 and 19. She passed away when I was 35 years old. Having moved out to attend university far from home, I did not have the responsibility of looking after her. During that period, I eventually found a girlfriend whom I married. The last time I saw her was under distressing circumstances; I was devastated by the discovery of my wife's infidelity, which led to our separation. My mother did not recognize me at all during that visit and was in considerable pain. What I needed then was the comfort and assurance from my mother. Unfortunately, she was only able to scream due to her pain and confusion.
Several months later, she passed away. Regrettably, I never had the opportunity to bid her farewell as I avoided seeing her at the chapel of rest and declined to carry her coffin. Both decisions are ones I regret deeply. Although I understand that she forgave me, it took me many years to forgive myself for feeling relieved upon her passing. Occasionally, I question whether I have truly forgiven myself or if I merely convince myself to continue living my life.
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I commend and feel the loss that some of the stories here. Mine was a living grief where I had to look after a mother between 11 and 19. She passed away when I was 35 years old. Having moved out to attend university far from home, I did not have the responsibility of looking after her. During that period, I eventually found a girlfriend whom I married. The last time I saw her was under distressing circumstances; I was devastated by the discovery of my wife's infidelity, which led to our separation. My mother did not recognize me at all during that visit and was in considerable pain. What I needed then was the comfort and assurance from my mother. Unfortunately, she was only able to scream due to her pain and confusion.
Several months later, she passed away. Regrettably, I never had the opportunity to bid her farewell as I avoided seeing her at the chapel of rest and declined to carry her coffin. Both decisions are ones I regret deeply. Although I understand that she forgave me, it took me many years to forgive myself for feeling relieved upon her passing. Occasionally, I question whether I have truly forgiven myself or if I merely convince myself to continue living my life.
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StarlightxXxAngels
I'm 17, and i definitely depended on my parents for everything, which is why im slowy trying to become independent (cooking meals everyday, grocery shopping/how to budget, jobs, licence ect) while still attending school. My parents are 68 (yes i know the age difference is crazy. I live with my mum 99% of the time. Mum is at the last stage of kidney disease and im scared she will die in a year or a couple of years. She gets treatment 3 times a week but gets very tired from walking even if its only 200m, and sometimes has trouble breathing, so she sleeps a couple times a day. She has been in hospital quite a few times and i once had to call an ambulance for her because of her breathing issues. My dad lives in a different city and i fly to see him every half a year (due to schooling, flights, life. Although he doesn't have any illnesses, im also scared of loosing him in 15-20 years. Just the absence of my parents is what i don't want to face even tho that day will come eventually. Much love to everyone, and condolences if you have lost a loved one
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I'm 17, and i definitely depended on my parents for everything, which is why im slowy trying to become independent (cooking meals everyday, grocery shopping/how to budget, jobs, licence ect) while still attending school. My parents are 68 (yes i know the age difference is crazy. I live with my mum 99% of the time. Mum is at the last stage of kidney disease and im scared she will die in a year or a couple of years. She gets treatment 3 times a week but gets very tired from walking even if its only 200m, and sometimes has trouble breathing, so she sleeps a couple times a day. She has been in hospital quite a few times and i once had to call an ambulance for her because of her breathing issues. My dad lives in a different city and i fly to see him every half a year (due to schooling, flights, life. Although he doesn't have any illnesses, im also scared of loosing him in 15-20 years. Just the absence of my parents is what i don't want to face even tho that day will come eventually. Much love to everyone, and condolences if you have lost a loved one
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yannlmt2154
I lost my father when I was 10 after 2 years of illness (brain cancer. After his death, my mother often went out partying, leaving me alone with my sisters who were 2. My older brother stayed with my grandparents abroad because his school results were insufficient, and my other older brother spent time with his friends. Taking care of my sisters is perhaps what saved me; they were my reason to carry on, to fight.
I began mourning 12 years after his death by going to see a psychologist. She taught me that mourning doesn't mean forgetting, but rather remembering a person, and that's how you make them live inside you.
15 years after my father's death, I see my sisters blossoming, my mother happy, and my brothers and I trying as best we can to build our lives without a father figure. We're all scarred by his loss, but we're lucky to have the support we need to heal.
The best advice I can give for mourning is to talk as much as possible about the deceased and to cry, with sadness but above all with joy for having lived the good times together.
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I lost my father when I was 10 after 2 years of illness (brain cancer. After his death, my mother often went out partying, leaving me alone with my sisters who were 2. My older brother stayed with my grandparents abroad because his school results were insufficient, and my other older brother spent time with his friends. Taking care of my sisters is perhaps what saved me; they were my reason to carry on, to fight.
I began mourning 12 years after his death by going to see a psychologist. She taught me that mourning doesn't mean forgetting, but rather remembering a person, and that's how you make them live inside you.
15 years after my father's death, I see my sisters blossoming, my mother happy, and my brothers and I trying as best we can to build our lives without a father figure. We're all scarred by his loss, but we're lucky to have the support we need to heal.
The best advice I can give for mourning is to talk as much as possible about the deceased and to cry, with sadness but above all with joy for having lived the good times together.
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jeremylittle1581
My father lost his struggle with depression when I was 16, in 1996. Some things I learned were some milestones were especially difficult. The milestones ending in 5 or 0 are always somber, and outliving him was an especially difficult milestone. However, one important thing I realized in my nearly 30 year journey with grief is this: there is beauty in the melancholy, and that very little about them is past tense. The pain and somberness showed me it is because he still matters, and that there will always be love and appreciation for him. The things he taught me still influence me to the day. All of those things stay present tense. The only thing that didn't are new memories with them. So sometimes the melancholy has a comforting beauty in it, but sometimes it doesn't, and both are ok. I would be glad if even just one person finds something in this long winded comment helpful for their own path with grief. You learn to cope with it, and I would rather have the grief than no feelings at all, because he still matters to me.
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My father lost his struggle with depression when I was 16, in 1996. Some things I learned were some milestones were especially difficult. The milestones ending in 5 or 0 are always somber, and outliving him was an especially difficult milestone. However, one important thing I realized in my nearly 30 year journey with grief is this: there is beauty in the melancholy, and that very little about them is past tense. The pain and somberness showed me it is because he still matters, and that there will always be love and appreciation for him. The things he taught me still influence me to the day. All of those things stay present tense. The only thing that didn't are new memories with them. So sometimes the melancholy has a comforting beauty in it, but sometimes it doesn't, and both are ok. I would be glad if even just one person finds something in this long winded comment helpful for their own path with grief. You learn to cope with it, and I would rather have the grief than no feelings at all, because he still matters to me.
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itadoriglazer
I lost my dad last Thursday, the first day of spring of 2025. I've been trying so hard to find ways to cope or deal with the fact that my dad, who was the kindest person ever, is not with me anymore. The fact that he's now stuck in the past, just a memory, instead of progressing further into the future with us makes me spiral into an uncontrollable fit of tears and immense sadness. The time of his death didn't help at all, as I had to focus on an exam in 3 weeks, a travel he funded in 2 weeks and everything else in the future that him and my mom planned. This being uploaded now, who knows, maybe it could really help me. I haven't tried yet but, I hope it does help.
I know it's not an early age, but it feels like he did die in such an early age. I don't even feel like an adult yet (im 20, and losing him made me more anxious for the future.
Edit: After watching, I'm absolutely in tears. Even if I lost him in the start of my 20s, this all still feels so familiar and so relatable. Thank you for this.
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I lost my dad last Thursday, the first day of spring of 2025. I've been trying so hard to find ways to cope or deal with the fact that my dad, who was the kindest person ever, is not with me anymore. The fact that he's now stuck in the past, just a memory, instead of progressing further into the future with us makes me spiral into an uncontrollable fit of tears and immense sadness. The time of his death didn't help at all, as I had to focus on an exam in 3 weeks, a travel he funded in 2 weeks and everything else in the future that him and my mom planned. This being uploaded now, who knows, maybe it could really help me. I haven't tried yet but, I hope it does help.
I know it's not an early age, but it feels like he did die in such an early age. I don't even feel like an adult yet (im 20, and losing him made me more anxious for the future.
Edit: After watching, I'm absolutely in tears. Even if I lost him in the start of my 20s, this all still feels so familiar and so relatable. Thank you for this.
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Jokerslayer460
My dad died when I was only 4. Even though I had my mom, my brother, sister, my grandparents, and even my aunt, I was still sad and felt alone without him. There were times where I cried myself to sleep, I wouldn’t understand why people live and die, and times where I wanted him home. But over time and as I got older, I appreciated my family for taking care of me and listening to my problems and even talked to some of my friends about it and how I felt. I realized I'm not alone and my life does have meaning, I have a family and friends that love and care about me so much. Sometimes I wish my dad was here and that he could've seen what I've done and the man I am now, but I know I can’t keep thinking of it all the time and appreciate what I have now. I'll always miss him and remember all those times I've had with him. Don't remember much, but all I knew was he was a good guy and he loved me, my mom, and my brother. I have pictures of him in my photo album to look at.
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My dad died when I was only 4. Even though I had my mom, my brother, sister, my grandparents, and even my aunt, I was still sad and felt alone without him. There were times where I cried myself to sleep, I wouldn’t understand why people live and die, and times where I wanted him home. But over time and as I got older, I appreciated my family for taking care of me and listening to my problems and even talked to some of my friends about it and how I felt. I realized I'm not alone and my life does have meaning, I have a family and friends that love and care about me so much. Sometimes I wish my dad was here and that he could've seen what I've done and the man I am now, but I know I can’t keep thinking of it all the time and appreciate what I have now. I'll always miss him and remember all those times I've had with him. Don't remember much, but all I knew was he was a good guy and he loved me, my mom, and my brother. I have pictures of him in my photo album to look at.
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FlyingTigress
From a practical perspective, I lost my father when I was a teen. Oh. a body with Dad's name continued, but after my parents divorced when I was 13, Dad crawled into a series of martinis from then until 5 years later when he was involved in a solo drunk driving incident that resulted in his being ejected from the car on the freeway, and suffering a permanent traumatic brain injury.
Until I was able to go to college, in Sept. 1976, I'd had to be the adult including having to take his car keys from him one day because he was too drunk to drive safely.
Four years later, on New Year's Day 1981, his mother found him dead on the floor of his apartment. And, since I was only in college, and my elder sibs lived out of the area and had jobs, guess who got tasked with going to help be the adult again.
Death was a release for him. My hurt continues to this day.
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From a practical perspective, I lost my father when I was a teen. Oh. a body with Dad's name continued, but after my parents divorced when I was 13, Dad crawled into a series of martinis from then until 5 years later when he was involved in a solo drunk driving incident that resulted in his being ejected from the car on the freeway, and suffering a permanent traumatic brain injury.
Until I was able to go to college, in Sept. 1976, I'd had to be the adult including having to take his car keys from him one day because he was too drunk to drive safely.
Four years later, on New Year's Day 1981, his mother found him dead on the floor of his apartment. And, since I was only in college, and my elder sibs lived out of the area and had jobs, guess who got tasked with going to help be the adult again.
Death was a release for him. My hurt continues to this day.
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r2d2Sebba
Damn. this video got me tearing up in for 5 minutes. Overwhelmed in the first 30 seconds. It came like a lightning, out of nowhere.
For me, my father died by suic when I was 8, now I'm 32 and the wound is well internalized. My mom refused to find someone else, so if you know someone in a similar situation, tell them to try finding a partner, no one should grow up without a parent.
I've seen my younger self in these animations, and yes, the mentioned feelings do not go away that easy. Although I known these things by majoring in psychology, but the way in which they are put together here is perfect for a 6 min video to raise awareness, and the narration is great, it really emphasizes the tragedy. Hopefully people will reach out when they need it the most and when the wound is new. Everybody needs support at the right time.
Great work Psych2go
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Damn. this video got me tearing up in for 5 minutes. Overwhelmed in the first 30 seconds. It came like a lightning, out of nowhere.
For me, my father died by suic when I was 8, now I'm 32 and the wound is well internalized. My mom refused to find someone else, so if you know someone in a similar situation, tell them to try finding a partner, no one should grow up without a parent.
I've seen my younger self in these animations, and yes, the mentioned feelings do not go away that easy. Although I known these things by majoring in psychology, but the way in which they are put together here is perfect for a 6 min video to raise awareness, and the narration is great, it really emphasizes the tragedy. Hopefully people will reach out when they need it the most and when the wound is new. Everybody needs support at the right time.
Great work Psych2go
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Helluva_fox
My father left my mother when I was 5 (never rlly saw him or the rest of his family side ever again, my mother died back in 2022 when I was 12 years old, my Grandpa just a month before her, and my Uncle and Aunt died just a few months ago. I am left with only my grandma as real family. I am 15 now and it definetly left it's effect in form of strong fear of abandonment and Overthinking problems, as well as an extensive fear of being left alone (which all cause problems in my relationship, sadly, which makes them problems even stronger, as well as depression and OCD. Stuff weren't always easy. And tbh, I never got over any of it, even though I always like to act like I did.
I thank you guys a whole lot for making a video covernig this subject. I am sure that many people (myself included) really needed this video.
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My father left my mother when I was 5 (never rlly saw him or the rest of his family side ever again, my mother died back in 2022 when I was 12 years old, my Grandpa just a month before her, and my Uncle and Aunt died just a few months ago. I am left with only my grandma as real family. I am 15 now and it definetly left it's effect in form of strong fear of abandonment and Overthinking problems, as well as an extensive fear of being left alone (which all cause problems in my relationship, sadly, which makes them problems even stronger, as well as depression and OCD. Stuff weren't always easy. And tbh, I never got over any of it, even though I always like to act like I did.
I thank you guys a whole lot for making a video covernig this subject. I am sure that many people (myself included) really needed this video.
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