Quiz: Are You Being Too Nice (Self Check Test)
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Date: 2025-06-18
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Comments and reviews: 20
johnrainsman6650
l feel like my half-sister's dad was too nice to me, the last times I'd seen him. Maybe my memory is wrong, but I don't think he really give me a lot of attention when picking up or dropping off my sister. Then I stayed over at his house for a week or two, when I was eight; I think I asked my mom if I could join my sister. I did try to invite myself into her and his family. I even wrote them a letter in 2013 because I missed them. Well, when I reunited with the dad in 2015 for my sister's college graduation and her wedding in 2019, I felt like he was a little too interactive with me. All peppy and I'm-a-big-fan-of-John attitude. I'll give details for context and clarity if you need it, but honestly, I wonder if he was just embellishing his admiration of me. I'd tried to be close to him and his family, so maybe he was giving me too much fatherly affection in response. because he felt like he had to If that's the case, I don't want it.
And that's what helped me realize something: I'm harboring resentment towards him. I think I actually am mad at him, for a, not being as attentive as he could've been, and b, for overdoing it, because now I question if he meant it. I find it flattering if someone strongly admires me, but if it was for my sake, I don't care for that; I deserve better than that, i. e, respect. I'm not sure if the dad does respect me. Am I making sense
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l feel like my half-sister's dad was too nice to me, the last times I'd seen him. Maybe my memory is wrong, but I don't think he really give me a lot of attention when picking up or dropping off my sister. Then I stayed over at his house for a week or two, when I was eight; I think I asked my mom if I could join my sister. I did try to invite myself into her and his family. I even wrote them a letter in 2013 because I missed them. Well, when I reunited with the dad in 2015 for my sister's college graduation and her wedding in 2019, I felt like he was a little too interactive with me. All peppy and I'm-a-big-fan-of-John attitude. I'll give details for context and clarity if you need it, but honestly, I wonder if he was just embellishing his admiration of me. I'd tried to be close to him and his family, so maybe he was giving me too much fatherly affection in response. because he felt like he had to If that's the case, I don't want it.
And that's what helped me realize something: I'm harboring resentment towards him. I think I actually am mad at him, for a, not being as attentive as he could've been, and b, for overdoing it, because now I question if he meant it. I find it flattering if someone strongly admires me, but if it was for my sake, I don't care for that; I deserve better than that, i. e, respect. I'm not sure if the dad does respect me. Am I making sense
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. Do you ever feel guilty for setting a boundary 1: 02
2. When someone asks for a favour and you're already overwhelmed do you say yes anyway 1: 20
3. Do you find yourself apologizing for things that aren't really your fault just to keep the peace 1: 40
4. Have you ever stayed quiet for something that hurt you just to avoid conflict 1: 55
5. Do you catch yourself over overexplaining or apologizing too much just to make sure everything's okay 2: 09
6. Do you sometimes feel resentful but feel bad for feeling that way 2: 26
7. When someone's upset, is your first instinct to blame yourself or drop everything to make it even if has nothing to with you 2: 41
8. Do you ever think if i don't help they'll think I'm selfish or maybe if i give more they'll finally appreciate me 2: 59
9. Do you downplay your own needs or struggles because someone else might have it worse 3: 17
10. If someone's upset with you or doesn't like you does it eat at you until you try to fix it even when it's not your fault 3: 34
11. If you got 0 to 10 points (the grounded giver) 4: 03
12. If you got 11 to 20 points (the self sacrificer) 4: 33
13. If you got 21 to 30 points (the kindness chameleon) 5: 58
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Timestamps
1. Do you ever feel guilty for setting a boundary 1: 02
2. When someone asks for a favour and you're already overwhelmed do you say yes anyway 1: 20
3. Do you find yourself apologizing for things that aren't really your fault just to keep the peace 1: 40
4. Have you ever stayed quiet for something that hurt you just to avoid conflict 1: 55
5. Do you catch yourself over overexplaining or apologizing too much just to make sure everything's okay 2: 09
6. Do you sometimes feel resentful but feel bad for feeling that way 2: 26
7. When someone's upset, is your first instinct to blame yourself or drop everything to make it even if has nothing to with you 2: 41
8. Do you ever think if i don't help they'll think I'm selfish or maybe if i give more they'll finally appreciate me 2: 59
9. Do you downplay your own needs or struggles because someone else might have it worse 3: 17
10. If someone's upset with you or doesn't like you does it eat at you until you try to fix it even when it's not your fault 3: 34
11. If you got 0 to 10 points (the grounded giver) 4: 03
12. If you got 11 to 20 points (the self sacrificer) 4: 33
13. If you got 21 to 30 points (the kindness chameleon) 5: 58
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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MikeAnn193
At 7: 05 I heard, Self care isn't selfish. That's a useful thing to remember, but I'd like to reframe it slightly with something a therapist once told me. It really stuck with me. Consider a different meaning for the word selfish. People always make it something bad, just as I did. But what if it's neither bad nor good What if it just means _giving to yourself_ Like anything in excess, that can be bad. Or it can be good, and even _necessary. _ So as my therapist made me realize, self care may indeed be selfish -- and that's ok! Just another way to think about it. It doesn't mean you're being inconsiderate or bad. You're being considerate of everyone -- including yourself. As the video said, you deserve that care as much as anyone else. You're a friend to them. Be a friend to you _too. _ And when your tank is low and it can only be one or the other, make sure to refill _your_ tank first. Give out of fullness; not out of emptiness or need.
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At 7: 05 I heard, Self care isn't selfish. That's a useful thing to remember, but I'd like to reframe it slightly with something a therapist once told me. It really stuck with me. Consider a different meaning for the word selfish. People always make it something bad, just as I did. But what if it's neither bad nor good What if it just means _giving to yourself_ Like anything in excess, that can be bad. Or it can be good, and even _necessary. _ So as my therapist made me realize, self care may indeed be selfish -- and that's ok! Just another way to think about it. It doesn't mean you're being inconsiderate or bad. You're being considerate of everyone -- including yourself. As the video said, you deserve that care as much as anyone else. You're a friend to them. Be a friend to you _too. _ And when your tank is low and it can only be one or the other, make sure to refill _your_ tank first. Give out of fullness; not out of emptiness or need.
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WildRyceStudios
I don't typically comment, but this video hit close to me enough especially with how life has been changing. I used to have been at the max (answering D for everything, though in this year alone I have opened up through all the depression/anxiety videos here, met some amazing people (even if it is just online trying to work on social anxiety) and started to care more for myself.
Although I still very much share traits with the 21-30 range, I've managed to drop down to the 11-20 range. Do I still care too much for others to a fault Yes. But slowly staying to take back control of my life and putting energy into the people I care the most about, instead of trying to be the shoulder for everyone. I'm happy with where I've gotten to in this point of life even if there is such a long journey ahead, and these videos have been such a warm welcome in that journey.
Thank you psych2go team, for bringing these videos to the world.
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I don't typically comment, but this video hit close to me enough especially with how life has been changing. I used to have been at the max (answering D for everything, though in this year alone I have opened up through all the depression/anxiety videos here, met some amazing people (even if it is just online trying to work on social anxiety) and started to care more for myself.
Although I still very much share traits with the 21-30 range, I've managed to drop down to the 11-20 range. Do I still care too much for others to a fault Yes. But slowly staying to take back control of my life and putting energy into the people I care the most about, instead of trying to be the shoulder for everyone. I'm happy with where I've gotten to in this point of life even if there is such a long journey ahead, and these videos have been such a warm welcome in that journey.
Thank you psych2go team, for bringing these videos to the world.
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KayleeSellers-o9k
I literally got D for every single question Funny enough, this is how I have been feeling since I was little. I have tried forcing myself to stop, but I have never been able to. That is why I am so proud of myself when I say no, which never happens. Actually, it just happened yesterday ironically (psych2go is like a magician with timing. I was supposed to go to an activity with a bunch of people I did not know. I have been socially drained for the past couple of weeks because literally every day, it is just people. So I asked if I could not go, I felt terrible when I said this because I felt so pressured on going, but I knew if I did I would just end up crying my eyes out in the bathroom. When I did say no, though, and I got to spend a little time on me, it felt incredible. So I am working on it, it is just going very, very VERY slowly. I really wish I didn't get all Ds though
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I literally got D for every single question Funny enough, this is how I have been feeling since I was little. I have tried forcing myself to stop, but I have never been able to. That is why I am so proud of myself when I say no, which never happens. Actually, it just happened yesterday ironically (psych2go is like a magician with timing. I was supposed to go to an activity with a bunch of people I did not know. I have been socially drained for the past couple of weeks because literally every day, it is just people. So I asked if I could not go, I felt terrible when I said this because I felt so pressured on going, but I knew if I did I would just end up crying my eyes out in the bathroom. When I did say no, though, and I got to spend a little time on me, it felt incredible. So I am working on it, it is just going very, very VERY slowly. I really wish I didn't get all Ds though
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1mJune
23pts. I was 10 when I entered online chat because I was being bullied at school and i had like 2-4 friends. (It was so bad, that i thought i was weird, until a few months back i started to get compliments) I was sarcastic, and made a comment. I even apologized to the admin for it privately because i was shy and anxious. She forced me to try saying sorry publicly. being a 10 year old without much knowledge and shy, i was saying no or something and argument started. I got backlashed at for not saying a simple sorry. I was called a selfish bitvh. and a lot of other horrible things that i can't forget till this day. I grew up in a family where no wasn't an option. My dad gets mad sometimes. My mom grew up alone, so she never gave me emotional support. So, i felt like i should make everyone proud even when I drain myself.
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23pts. I was 10 when I entered online chat because I was being bullied at school and i had like 2-4 friends. (It was so bad, that i thought i was weird, until a few months back i started to get compliments) I was sarcastic, and made a comment. I even apologized to the admin for it privately because i was shy and anxious. She forced me to try saying sorry publicly. being a 10 year old without much knowledge and shy, i was saying no or something and argument started. I got backlashed at for not saying a simple sorry. I was called a selfish bitvh. and a lot of other horrible things that i can't forget till this day. I grew up in a family where no wasn't an option. My dad gets mad sometimes. My mom grew up alone, so she never gave me emotional support. So, i felt like i should make everyone proud even when I drain myself.
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Mending_Boost
I sorry this quiz make me cry
I get 10 D and 9 C sorry I don’t know to select
But Maybe just choose d because that what I thing I don’t I help that much
I very lazy because i only do it if people tell me not because I want
Maybe I just too sensitive because sometimes I even lazy to simple task if people don’t tell me
I know I not kind I selfish I if I help I just mess up the problem even more
I hate my self because how useless I am
Why it hurt I just want be useful
What I do is hurt myself and be problem to people around me
Why they even love me for I hopeless
I just want be love unconditionally
They love but I can’t not feel it
What wrong with me
Sorry I got emotional while writing this and wasted your time. I maybe overthinking it sorry.
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I sorry this quiz make me cry
I get 10 D and 9 C sorry I don’t know to select
But Maybe just choose d because that what I thing I don’t I help that much
I very lazy because i only do it if people tell me not because I want
Maybe I just too sensitive because sometimes I even lazy to simple task if people don’t tell me
I know I not kind I selfish I if I help I just mess up the problem even more
I hate my self because how useless I am
Why it hurt I just want be useful
What I do is hurt myself and be problem to people around me
Why they even love me for I hopeless
I just want be love unconditionally
They love but I can’t not feel it
What wrong with me
Sorry I got emotional while writing this and wasted your time. I maybe overthinking it sorry.
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FurbYhouse24
End on 29
5 --
10 its mandatory/ compulsory.
Self soft courage soul that's vulnerable. No protection and others take advantages. Plus a profile map that they love you make black. So than you busy with survive. Learn to erase yourself. No self boundaries ( they usually not keep) self respect/ self care other must go first etc. Keep quiet and swallow all. Survive the battlefield to another. Sacrifice yourself. Love to help but simple no choice, free will, forced to do. ( You don't dare, say a peep, face consequences & punishment, the profile map. They love to fear/angst with you)
Really love to help. Im happy other is happy. I know my environment isn't okay. Have no equality or own values.
Like the quiz. Open eye and see here where I'm kindness goes. It in fact not normal
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End on 29
5 --
10 its mandatory/ compulsory.
Self soft courage soul that's vulnerable. No protection and others take advantages. Plus a profile map that they love you make black. So than you busy with survive. Learn to erase yourself. No self boundaries ( they usually not keep) self respect/ self care other must go first etc. Keep quiet and swallow all. Survive the battlefield to another. Sacrifice yourself. Love to help but simple no choice, free will, forced to do. ( You don't dare, say a peep, face consequences & punishment, the profile map. They love to fear/angst with you)
Really love to help. Im happy other is happy. I know my environment isn't okay. Have no equality or own values.
Like the quiz. Open eye and see here where I'm kindness goes. It in fact not normal
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toddbu-WK7L
I think that you missed something in this video, which is the joy that we receive from our kindness regardless of how it is received. I LOVE holding the door open for others as they enter a room / building. And I used to get mad if the other person didn't at least acknowledge my kindness. But then I got to thinking. what does this say about my moral character if I need to be thanked for my service Doesn't our shared human condition insist that we treat others equally even if they don't show us love in return
So now I don't get mad if my kindness if not returned. Maybe the other person is having a bad day. And maybe their day will be better if I show them some love. But even if they are just being a jerk, I can still be proud that I did the right thing when they did not.
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I think that you missed something in this video, which is the joy that we receive from our kindness regardless of how it is received. I LOVE holding the door open for others as they enter a room / building. And I used to get mad if the other person didn't at least acknowledge my kindness. But then I got to thinking. what does this say about my moral character if I need to be thanked for my service Doesn't our shared human condition insist that we treat others equally even if they don't show us love in return
So now I don't get mad if my kindness if not returned. Maybe the other person is having a bad day. And maybe their day will be better if I show them some love. But even if they are just being a jerk, I can still be proud that I did the right thing when they did not.
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Shady_Muffins
I got 28 points . but I'm scared of changing for the better because the main reason I act the way I do is because I don't want anyone else to go through what I've been through. And yeah it's really taxing, but seeing others be happy is what I like to do. And saying no has always been a hard thing for me to do, especially now. I'll say something without giving too much detail because I don't wanna info dump on yall. But me and my family are trying to start a business, but this business is causing loads upon loads of stress for me, and I don't know how to get away from it or say that I can't do it anymore. Could someone give me a way to politely tell them that I can no longer deal with this thing due to how much stress it's causing
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I got 28 points . but I'm scared of changing for the better because the main reason I act the way I do is because I don't want anyone else to go through what I've been through. And yeah it's really taxing, but seeing others be happy is what I like to do. And saying no has always been a hard thing for me to do, especially now. I'll say something without giving too much detail because I don't wanna info dump on yall. But me and my family are trying to start a business, but this business is causing loads upon loads of stress for me, and I don't know how to get away from it or say that I can't do it anymore. Could someone give me a way to politely tell them that I can no longer deal with this thing due to how much stress it's causing
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psych2go
Being autistic something you learn really fast early on is that you're born less than worthless and less than human. Saying no and setting healthy boundaries is a privilege only given to neurotypical people. You on the other hand are expected to constantly proof that you're worth even being alive. Fail to function even once and all the hard work you've done is immediately forgotten and you're back to square one and a useless burden to society.
I'm already so burnt out mentally that my mask is constantly slipping and my autism is showing worse than ever before. That means I now have to burn myself out physically to make up for it so society can see me at least as not completely worthless.
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Being autistic something you learn really fast early on is that you're born less than worthless and less than human. Saying no and setting healthy boundaries is a privilege only given to neurotypical people. You on the other hand are expected to constantly proof that you're worth even being alive. Fail to function even once and all the hard work you've done is immediately forgotten and you're back to square one and a useless burden to society.
I'm already so burnt out mentally that my mask is constantly slipping and my autism is showing worse than ever before. That means I now have to burn myself out physically to make up for it so society can see me at least as not completely worthless.
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DeannaNewton-d7x
I got 12 points from the quiz and I am a self sacrificer. I thought I was suppose to do that because I don't want to come across as selfish or lazy. My family tells me that I do so much around the house and I help them a lot, but I'm also hard on myself that I should be doing more whenever I come short of my expectations. I also don't really talk about my problems unless someone asks me because what I go through isn't important because it's minor compared what someone else is going through. My family wants me to be happy and to talk about things if something bothers me. Just because I don't think it matters it doesn't mean that they don't think it matters.
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I got 12 points from the quiz and I am a self sacrificer. I thought I was suppose to do that because I don't want to come across as selfish or lazy. My family tells me that I do so much around the house and I help them a lot, but I'm also hard on myself that I should be doing more whenever I come short of my expectations. I also don't really talk about my problems unless someone asks me because what I go through isn't important because it's minor compared what someone else is going through. My family wants me to be happy and to talk about things if something bothers me. Just because I don't think it matters it doesn't mean that they don't think it matters.
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psych2go
Now I see how much I've tried to give to others without giving anything but punishments to myself. I always felt like I deserve it because I've not been kind enough or have ruined people's lives even by a small mistake. But the thing is, I don't want to lose this mindset! Why Because if I do, my brain, which can't balance anything properly, will either just bring this mindest back, or just make me put my needs over other's needs, which will lead me to commit actions that only please my needs but destroy others. This mindset is helping me to not become a monster. The only reason I'm so aware of impact of my actions now is because of this mindset.
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Now I see how much I've tried to give to others without giving anything but punishments to myself. I always felt like I deserve it because I've not been kind enough or have ruined people's lives even by a small mistake. But the thing is, I don't want to lose this mindset! Why Because if I do, my brain, which can't balance anything properly, will either just bring this mindest back, or just make me put my needs over other's needs, which will lead me to commit actions that only please my needs but destroy others. This mindset is helping me to not become a monster. The only reason I'm so aware of impact of my actions now is because of this mindset.
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Nicholaslovescats
My score is 7 A and 3 B. I have trauma and my own life struggles but I never been afraid to stand my ground or have self compassion and set boundaries when needed. I am absolutely not a people pleaser. My trauma affects me in different ways. No hate towards anyone who does struggle with people pleasing. I truly hope they find a healthy balance someday. I am just the type of person who absolutely would do acts of kindness but only when it is right. Also I would not sacrifice my wellbeing or do something that would be bad for someone else. I am not easily manipulated.
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My score is 7 A and 3 B. I have trauma and my own life struggles but I never been afraid to stand my ground or have self compassion and set boundaries when needed. I am absolutely not a people pleaser. My trauma affects me in different ways. No hate towards anyone who does struggle with people pleasing. I truly hope they find a healthy balance someday. I am just the type of person who absolutely would do acts of kindness but only when it is right. Also I would not sacrifice my wellbeing or do something that would be bad for someone else. I am not easily manipulated.
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IzzyyyMax
My friend recently took advantage of me because I'm so forgiving. I forgave her really quickly after an argument we had and then she went behind my back and spoke to someone I was no longer in contact with. My other friend was in contact with this person and they got sent the screenshot. My friend then sent it to me. She had said I only became her friend again so I can play with her feelings.
Believe it or not, I was waiting for this to happen but it still hurt.
But I feel like I'm being taken advantage of because i forgive so easily and I always try to be kind.
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My friend recently took advantage of me because I'm so forgiving. I forgave her really quickly after an argument we had and then she went behind my back and spoke to someone I was no longer in contact with. My other friend was in contact with this person and they got sent the screenshot. My friend then sent it to me. She had said I only became her friend again so I can play with her feelings.
Believe it or not, I was waiting for this to happen but it still hurt.
But I feel like I'm being taken advantage of because i forgive so easily and I always try to be kind.
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JovanPajovic-q8e
That reminds me when i was too kind i was 10-13 and nowmkm 14 i has a best freind in high school and i thaught he would be good but at the end i realized it wasnt he was just using me for his own progress. And well i was deoressed and then i becmae closed and used to being a very open person and i am kind lesser and even if i try to make nee freinds who understand me i dont feel much fixed or anything if only it can go away(Wish you could make a video or something to make me feel better becuase im defently not the only one who has expirenced this atleast once)
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That reminds me when i was too kind i was 10-13 and nowmkm 14 i has a best freind in high school and i thaught he would be good but at the end i realized it wasnt he was just using me for his own progress. And well i was deoressed and then i becmae closed and used to being a very open person and i am kind lesser and even if i try to make nee freinds who understand me i dont feel much fixed or anything if only it can go away(Wish you could make a video or something to make me feel better becuase im defently not the only one who has expirenced this atleast once)
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MMXP-animations
I didn't even tally up the score because i was going in and almost immediately got concerned when this quiz legit read me like a book i got all D's and C's and that's when i chose not to tally because it was kinda obvious and this was literally the day after when i was feeling guilty for doing something in a situation i had berely any control over. i even typed out a paragraph long apology for basically not fitting the shoes she bought me, also this video made me remember all the times ive typed out long sentences to my mom to say sorry for trivial things.
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I didn't even tally up the score because i was going in and almost immediately got concerned when this quiz legit read me like a book i got all D's and C's and that's when i chose not to tally because it was kinda obvious and this was literally the day after when i was feeling guilty for doing something in a situation i had berely any control over. i even typed out a paragraph long apology for basically not fitting the shoes she bought me, also this video made me remember all the times ive typed out long sentences to my mom to say sorry for trivial things.
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AwatipSelotip
I got 21 and yea it's true. I'm felt numb and exhausted lately because its my first year in my middle school and i met new people, but also in the same class with my friend that is same school in elementary school which some of them are not really close with me so i thought they all are kind which turned out wrong. I've talked about how one of the girl treat me to my mom but my mom just told me to just ignore them which makes me lose more confidence to open up to someone even the closest one. Thank you for making this video! (sorry if my grammaris awful)
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I got 21 and yea it's true. I'm felt numb and exhausted lately because its my first year in my middle school and i met new people, but also in the same class with my friend that is same school in elementary school which some of them are not really close with me so i thought they all are kind which turned out wrong. I've talked about how one of the girl treat me to my mom but my mom just told me to just ignore them which makes me lose more confidence to open up to someone even the closest one. Thank you for making this video! (sorry if my grammaris awful)
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FozenTheBestNoLife
In my opinion i might be the kindest person in this world(even kinder than Mr. Beast. Iam so happy to have the kindest mom in my life. I cannot eden imagine how lucky i am to have her. She did so much to me, that iam never decline her requests. Even when iam might be not in the mood, so i can continue my relationship and be positive by some chance. So all i can say that iam way too chill for being angry or mean to anyone, no matter how hard they try to make me mad. So try to focuw on something else if you wanna have a smile: )
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In my opinion i might be the kindest person in this world(even kinder than Mr. Beast. Iam so happy to have the kindest mom in my life. I cannot eden imagine how lucky i am to have her. She did so much to me, that iam never decline her requests. Even when iam might be not in the mood, so i can continue my relationship and be positive by some chance. So all i can say that iam way too chill for being angry or mean to anyone, no matter how hard they try to make me mad. So try to focuw on something else if you wanna have a smile: )
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Powerofskills872
In my class every girls hate me and my two best friends and even from other sections too I have no clear reasons why do they Not only that they always talk behind my back and act nice infront of me I have never been rude to them and have always been kind and helpful. We always get left out, they make plans to have party or hang out together leaving only us three and for small reasons if we get scolded by our teachers or not get good marks like them they feel good. Me and my friends mood is always off by this.
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In my class every girls hate me and my two best friends and even from other sections too I have no clear reasons why do they Not only that they always talk behind my back and act nice infront of me I have never been rude to them and have always been kind and helpful. We always get left out, they make plans to have party or hang out together leaving only us three and for small reasons if we get scolded by our teachers or not get good marks like them they feel good. Me and my friends mood is always off by this.
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