What Getting Older Feels Like
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Date: 2024-10-23
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Comments and reviews: 20
jarmoliebrand2005
Just be yourself is something I am and am not doing at the same time.
I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. But, I also mask myself. That’s the thing with autism in this society. I mostly water down my true self in front of others, meaning I won’t fully pretend to be someone I’m not, but I won’t unabashedly be myself either. I have a rough idea of what I want. Where I want to be. Where I want to find myself in the next few years. Preferably as soon as possible. How to get there, is the question. And therein lies the struggle. I know I want to do more unmasking. And that I want to pursue something I truly want to do. I found out firsthand that I’ll just lose motivation and energy really quickly when I’m forcing myself to do something in which I don’t back myself. Political science at uni wasn’t a roaring success by any means, last year. So it’s back to the drawing board. But with little energy, due to pushing myself into autistic burnout. This past year felt like a waste of time. I didn’t really do much. I couldn’t. I couldn’t work much on my special interests. I didn’t go and find a job. I did some research on other studies, but I did so while masking, so I was setting course towards something I knew wouldn’t suit me. Sorry, University. I don’t think we’re a match. I want something more creative. I deem it one of my greatest strengths. I just need to learn to work with my executive dysfunction. I know I can get into flow states, as an autistic person. I can get very passionate. And I can, at times, be very hard working. But other times, I do so little and I beat myself up over it. I used to chastise myself for having wasted this past year. I have become more forgiving. I am realising that, yes, I got almost to a standstill. Yes, I see all these peers of mine moving ahead of me in life. But I feel like this may be what’s best long term. Slow down. Learn some skills (I’ve been cooking, doing more chores around the house and driving lessons have been going pretty well. Figure out what you really want from life and how to chase that. I think fully embracing authenticity, not just internally, but externally as well, is key. Yes, these are my interests. Yes, these are my autistic traits. Take me as I am or don’t take me at all. I know I won’t appeal to most people but I’ll be appealing to people who suit me. Yes, I’ll still have to mask. That’s just reality for us autistics. I just want to be able to let go off the mask when I’m around those closest to me.
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Just be yourself is something I am and am not doing at the same time.
I don’t pretend to be someone I’m not. But, I also mask myself. That’s the thing with autism in this society. I mostly water down my true self in front of others, meaning I won’t fully pretend to be someone I’m not, but I won’t unabashedly be myself either. I have a rough idea of what I want. Where I want to be. Where I want to find myself in the next few years. Preferably as soon as possible. How to get there, is the question. And therein lies the struggle. I know I want to do more unmasking. And that I want to pursue something I truly want to do. I found out firsthand that I’ll just lose motivation and energy really quickly when I’m forcing myself to do something in which I don’t back myself. Political science at uni wasn’t a roaring success by any means, last year. So it’s back to the drawing board. But with little energy, due to pushing myself into autistic burnout. This past year felt like a waste of time. I didn’t really do much. I couldn’t. I couldn’t work much on my special interests. I didn’t go and find a job. I did some research on other studies, but I did so while masking, so I was setting course towards something I knew wouldn’t suit me. Sorry, University. I don’t think we’re a match. I want something more creative. I deem it one of my greatest strengths. I just need to learn to work with my executive dysfunction. I know I can get into flow states, as an autistic person. I can get very passionate. And I can, at times, be very hard working. But other times, I do so little and I beat myself up over it. I used to chastise myself for having wasted this past year. I have become more forgiving. I am realising that, yes, I got almost to a standstill. Yes, I see all these peers of mine moving ahead of me in life. But I feel like this may be what’s best long term. Slow down. Learn some skills (I’ve been cooking, doing more chores around the house and driving lessons have been going pretty well. Figure out what you really want from life and how to chase that. I think fully embracing authenticity, not just internally, but externally as well, is key. Yes, these are my interests. Yes, these are my autistic traits. Take me as I am or don’t take me at all. I know I won’t appeal to most people but I’ll be appealing to people who suit me. Yes, I’ll still have to mask. That’s just reality for us autistics. I just want to be able to let go off the mask when I’m around those closest to me.
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Jeramiahstool
Developing this headspace is what helped me as a 25 year old:
Try reflecting back on previous years of your life and try to think about how you would describe those years. For me, I can look back on being 19, 20, 21, and so on. I can remember that these years were almost entirely spent going to college, going to work, and then staying inside to play games online. I could maybe think of one or two good defining moments from each of those years, but it was alarming how I could remember so little from an entire year.
I had realized that you are only the age you are for a year, 365 days. There will never come a day where I can change what 21 looked like for me, but a when I discovered this headspace at 22 that’s when I finally stopped trying to put off all the things I had been interested in eventually doing but never did out of feeling like it would be scary to put myself out there and that I had time. Turning 22 was the biggest turning point for my life because I finally started going out and facing my fears. I became more prideful in the weird parts of myself, and learned to go from constant fear of judgement to realizing that any judgement comes from people that are too scared to put themselves out there, so they’d rather cling to pointing fingers as a way to deflect eyes from being on them. Ever since 22 I would probably say a majority of my substantial life happy moments have been made up within these last 3 years, and even if I’ve made mistakes, they were mistakes I learned from rather than being too fearful to even be in the position to have to learn at all.
You’re only the age you are for the time you have left with it and then it’s gone, don’t put off living your life for the next lifetime.
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Developing this headspace is what helped me as a 25 year old:
Try reflecting back on previous years of your life and try to think about how you would describe those years. For me, I can look back on being 19, 20, 21, and so on. I can remember that these years were almost entirely spent going to college, going to work, and then staying inside to play games online. I could maybe think of one or two good defining moments from each of those years, but it was alarming how I could remember so little from an entire year.
I had realized that you are only the age you are for a year, 365 days. There will never come a day where I can change what 21 looked like for me, but a when I discovered this headspace at 22 that’s when I finally stopped trying to put off all the things I had been interested in eventually doing but never did out of feeling like it would be scary to put myself out there and that I had time. Turning 22 was the biggest turning point for my life because I finally started going out and facing my fears. I became more prideful in the weird parts of myself, and learned to go from constant fear of judgement to realizing that any judgement comes from people that are too scared to put themselves out there, so they’d rather cling to pointing fingers as a way to deflect eyes from being on them. Ever since 22 I would probably say a majority of my substantial life happy moments have been made up within these last 3 years, and even if I’ve made mistakes, they were mistakes I learned from rather than being too fearful to even be in the position to have to learn at all.
You’re only the age you are for the time you have left with it and then it’s gone, don’t put off living your life for the next lifetime.
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lewperaza
(Just me yapping my thoughts)
I feel like we should all have something tangible or intangible that remind us of our years. Something that draws us back to those times. Something that reminds us of our ever-changing self. We are all an idea in which time molds, so it be nice to see the stages of our evolution. Cause, we all gotta plan out the long game, what we want in life. The most outlandish dreams can be turned into reality if your willing to take actionable steps towards it, as cheesy as it may sound, its true. We all should realize that time is finite, we wont live forever, and we wont stay young forever. If you dont value time, you'll realize that you spent these years doing nothing. Its better to feel the pain of disclipine than the poignant pang of regret. Ill leave you with something I wrote down not too long ago, it deals with the themes of dreams and reality.
Strive to live the life you yearn for, whatever that means for you.
reply
(Just me yapping my thoughts)
I feel like we should all have something tangible or intangible that remind us of our years. Something that draws us back to those times. Something that reminds us of our ever-changing self. We are all an idea in which time molds, so it be nice to see the stages of our evolution. Cause, we all gotta plan out the long game, what we want in life. The most outlandish dreams can be turned into reality if your willing to take actionable steps towards it, as cheesy as it may sound, its true. We all should realize that time is finite, we wont live forever, and we wont stay young forever. If you dont value time, you'll realize that you spent these years doing nothing. Its better to feel the pain of disclipine than the poignant pang of regret. Ill leave you with something I wrote down not too long ago, it deals with the themes of dreams and reality.
Strive to live the life you yearn for, whatever that means for you.
reply
TheSaneHatter
Not many people understand the lost time in one's youth as badly as I do. .. but it's not because I was frivolous. In my case, thanks to (initially) undiagnosed disabilities and their attendant social problems, I wasn't even able to get a steady job until I was past 40 years old, and until I got that job and its benefits, I couldn't even begin to have a real, personal life, much les anything I wanted. I spent my 20s and 30s working and waiting for things to get started for me, and by the time they did, it was at an age when they were supposed to be settling down.
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Not many people understand the lost time in one's youth as badly as I do. .. but it's not because I was frivolous. In my case, thanks to (initially) undiagnosed disabilities and their attendant social problems, I wasn't even able to get a steady job until I was past 40 years old, and until I got that job and its benefits, I couldn't even begin to have a real, personal life, much les anything I wanted. I spent my 20s and 30s working and waiting for things to get started for me, and by the time they did, it was at an age when they were supposed to be settling down.
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julonkrutor4649
Here is what i learned:
1. Nobody cares about you, except your family and a very small group of people.
2. The world owes you nothing, nobody owes you anything, you owe nobody anything.
3. Service to your country will not be rewarded. You will be used and forgotten.
4. Complaining dose not fix things. Doing stuff dose.
5. Everybody lies. Deal with it.
6. Watch out for yourself - nobody else will do it.
7. If you have to, push someone out of the way to get what you want. After all, they will do it to you too.
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Here is what i learned:
1. Nobody cares about you, except your family and a very small group of people.
2. The world owes you nothing, nobody owes you anything, you owe nobody anything.
3. Service to your country will not be rewarded. You will be used and forgotten.
4. Complaining dose not fix things. Doing stuff dose.
5. Everybody lies. Deal with it.
6. Watch out for yourself - nobody else will do it.
7. If you have to, push someone out of the way to get what you want. After all, they will do it to you too.
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GemR38
As someone on the cusp on of 40, seriously the time just flies! It's a strange transition too because you don't just wake up one day and feel middle aged! You are yourself at any age. Don't be afraid to be happy! Live in a way that brings you joy no matter what age you are. You're never too young to enjoy an afternoon tea or too old to enjoy a theme park. You make the rules in your own life. Just be kind about it and respect other people's choices in their lives too.
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As someone on the cusp on of 40, seriously the time just flies! It's a strange transition too because you don't just wake up one day and feel middle aged! You are yourself at any age. Don't be afraid to be happy! Live in a way that brings you joy no matter what age you are. You're never too young to enjoy an afternoon tea or too old to enjoy a theme park. You make the rules in your own life. Just be kind about it and respect other people's choices in their lives too.
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Tomo-q5w
I know I might be wrong and I am sure of it but I am sure like 43% of who watch those vids didn't change (also me) because those ppl don't lnow what to do agree or keep what they think is safe I myself like to just watch imagine and stop thinking after I know I don't have a better results but I am still TRYING if thinking even count as it.
I am sorry to waste you're time it's just my opinion and thought. and if you have more opinions feel free from any restraints
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I know I might be wrong and I am sure of it but I am sure like 43% of who watch those vids didn't change (also me) because those ppl don't lnow what to do agree or keep what they think is safe I myself like to just watch imagine and stop thinking after I know I don't have a better results but I am still TRYING if thinking even count as it.
I am sorry to waste you're time it's just my opinion and thought. and if you have more opinions feel free from any restraints
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Vsxe
1: 49 It's weird. I never tried different personalities or tried to fit in anywhere, I just tried to get to know myself better and feel comfortable with myself. Maybe that's why I didn't have any friends for 15 years.
Rejection and loneliness were a constant and aggravated my depression.
But maybe that was for my own good.
Now that I feel better about myself I started to have friends but the really good ones.
It's never too late.
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1: 49 It's weird. I never tried different personalities or tried to fit in anywhere, I just tried to get to know myself better and feel comfortable with myself. Maybe that's why I didn't have any friends for 15 years.
Rejection and loneliness were a constant and aggravated my depression.
But maybe that was for my own good.
Now that I feel better about myself I started to have friends but the really good ones.
It's never too late.
reply
justmoch8985
i am a 34 y. o man, single, happens to spend my youth on sacrificing my life and myself for others, now I understand how does it feel like to go outside and experiencing something that supposedly did when I was younger (travel more, heartbreak more.
considering myself as a late bloomer, but it’s OK. my close relatives always support me and said to me that my life is mine. and it doesn’t have to be a race with others.
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i am a 34 y. o man, single, happens to spend my youth on sacrificing my life and myself for others, now I understand how does it feel like to go outside and experiencing something that supposedly did when I was younger (travel more, heartbreak more.
considering myself as a late bloomer, but it’s OK. my close relatives always support me and said to me that my life is mine. and it doesn’t have to be a race with others.
reply
SaifEldeenEmad
What a lot of people forget when saying the phrase do whatever you want if it doesn't hurt anyone, they forget that not all things that may not hurt others doesn't necessarily mean it won't hurt you. Even if you are not hurting anyone, what right is right and what is wrong is wrong. Live in a way that makes your life fulfilling and good for yourself and the people you love. That's all there is to it
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What a lot of people forget when saying the phrase do whatever you want if it doesn't hurt anyone, they forget that not all things that may not hurt others doesn't necessarily mean it won't hurt you. Even if you are not hurting anyone, what right is right and what is wrong is wrong. Live in a way that makes your life fulfilling and good for yourself and the people you love. That's all there is to it
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jwanie366
I turn 31 in about a month and a half so this video hit me pretty hard, as I certainly feel much younger mentally. I grew up with epilepsy so my maturity has been much slower than most people my age. My mother has always told me that whatever age I am right now, subtract that by 5 years and that's what my mental age is. It's taken time but I'm gradually learning how to adult more, and it's def not easy
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I turn 31 in about a month and a half so this video hit me pretty hard, as I certainly feel much younger mentally. I grew up with epilepsy so my maturity has been much slower than most people my age. My mother has always told me that whatever age I am right now, subtract that by 5 years and that's what my mental age is. It's taken time but I'm gradually learning how to adult more, and it's def not easy
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76ToneCrome
I smiled and meant it once. It wasn't just a smile borne out of shyness or social awkwardness. I smiled with heart fluttering warmth when I gazed at a photo of my four year old self lifting up a wrapped Christmas present just before opening it. I wish I could remember what was inside that package. I'm thinking Ghostbusters or Teenage Turtles paraphernalia. Heavy sigh!
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I smiled and meant it once. It wasn't just a smile borne out of shyness or social awkwardness. I smiled with heart fluttering warmth when I gazed at a photo of my four year old self lifting up a wrapped Christmas present just before opening it. I wish I could remember what was inside that package. I'm thinking Ghostbusters or Teenage Turtles paraphernalia. Heavy sigh!
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LastEarBender
not intentionally hurting anyone. Is mildly upsetting someone or inconveniencing someone the end of their world No. Should we all have to tiptoe around others No. Can we simply try not be reckless Yes.
Intentions certainly matter to an extent, yet the victim of involuntary manslaughter is no more alive for the lack of someone intending to hurt them.
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not intentionally hurting anyone. Is mildly upsetting someone or inconveniencing someone the end of their world No. Should we all have to tiptoe around others No. Can we simply try not be reckless Yes.
Intentions certainly matter to an extent, yet the victim of involuntary manslaughter is no more alive for the lack of someone intending to hurt them.
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pandoraalberts5267
Learn how to WORK. Especially the bright sparks who think they can ace it without studying. That laziness will come back to bite you when you are 30, dragging along in a deadend job, and the kid you looked down on as the class dummy who had to slog away to succeed drives past in YOUR DREAM CAR. And probably the girl you thought might be. Oh hell.
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Learn how to WORK. Especially the bright sparks who think they can ace it without studying. That laziness will come back to bite you when you are 30, dragging along in a deadend job, and the kid you looked down on as the class dummy who had to slog away to succeed drives past in YOUR DREAM CAR. And probably the girl you thought might be. Oh hell.
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Encaris
I am glad that i realized that i catered and changed to suit others this early in life. well late 20s-early 30s. If people dont like you as you, then they dont deserve to know you. Also, there is no bad or good, there only is. Once you expect life, warts and all and accept challenges and struggles as part of the journey, you will live life fully.
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I am glad that i realized that i catered and changed to suit others this early in life. well late 20s-early 30s. If people dont like you as you, then they dont deserve to know you. Also, there is no bad or good, there only is. Once you expect life, warts and all and accept challenges and struggles as part of the journey, you will live life fully.
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arodoeseverything
3: 06 so true. For all highschoolers watching this. No one will care to remember the cringey things you did. And if they do remember, they won't care. And if they remember and care then they aren't worth pleasing because judging people for the small things that bring people joy without disturbing others is a sad way to live.
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3: 06 so true. For all highschoolers watching this. No one will care to remember the cringey things you did. And if they do remember, they won't care. And if they remember and care then they aren't worth pleasing because judging people for the small things that bring people joy without disturbing others is a sad way to live.
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jessicag630
Do you have any videos about what healthy parent and adult child relationship looks like and about questions to ask to reconcile with a parent who is definitely not toxic (I've seen your videos about toxic parents, and she is definitely not one, but keep having huge conflicts, intense arguments, and fights with you
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Do you have any videos about what healthy parent and adult child relationship looks like and about questions to ask to reconcile with a parent who is definitely not toxic (I've seen your videos about toxic parents, and she is definitely not one, but keep having huge conflicts, intense arguments, and fights with you
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fL0wDaMaG3360
Question my girlfriend is forcing me to see her when it is hard to find a job no matter how many jobs I apply for she wants me to get her out of Thailand I been in a relationship with her for 5 years in those 5 years I been trying to earn credit to get approved for a loan or PayPal pay later to buy a plane ticket
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Question my girlfriend is forcing me to see her when it is hard to find a job no matter how many jobs I apply for she wants me to get her out of Thailand I been in a relationship with her for 5 years in those 5 years I been trying to earn credit to get approved for a loan or PayPal pay later to buy a plane ticket
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JasmineHaskins-q2y
Yeah, that's definitely me, bruh. For almost all my life, my family always want me to be successful, smart and brave throughout my life. But in the end, I just don't know what I want to do to be myself as I am. And now, I wish that I should've savor my years, one day at a time. Man, I feel miserable.
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Yeah, that's definitely me, bruh. For almost all my life, my family always want me to be successful, smart and brave throughout my life. But in the end, I just don't know what I want to do to be myself as I am. And now, I wish that I should've savor my years, one day at a time. Man, I feel miserable.
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sparkle3000
When you get older, hindsight is 20/20.
You realize you know nothing after thinking you know it all.
In the end, all we want is peace, health, healing, a roof, a warm bed, clean food and water.
Family are the people who love you the way you love them, it's not always your family either.
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When you get older, hindsight is 20/20.
You realize you know nothing after thinking you know it all.
In the end, all we want is peace, health, healing, a roof, a warm bed, clean food and water.
Family are the people who love you the way you love them, it's not always your family either.
reply
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