What Abuse Does To Your Brain
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Date: 2024-11-30
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Comments and reviews: 20
bubblsbubbls3243
2024 has been slapping me hard with my childhood truma but I am learning why my reaction is what it is and that even though it hurts I know exactly what to do in the situation and I have always had to hide sentimental things that I have gotten as birthday gifts and from friends and I am adopted and older and the spoiled brat has been the moms favorite so of course when I was 12 I started to hide things that the spoiled brat wanted until they dropped it
And I was 12 when the spoiled brat wanted my necklace that I got from a friend my grandmother protected me for years and that necklace was the last thing she defend me on before she died the day before my 13th birthday and the mom and spoiled brat continued to bully for my necklace when we move to a new house when I was 14 I made a decision that broke me to hide my necklace in a place I knew they would never look
And I knew it was going to stay hidden for years not just a week or month or one year I told them Iost it after hiding it
And now as a adult I over heard the spoiled brat saying that they are going to take other sentimental things of mine when they move out especially a certain things that helped get through losing my grandmother so the Idea of hiding things made me have some sort of attack that was not a Anxiety attack this time
I was gasping for air chest felt wired I think it was a mini hart attack going to ask the doctor even though I knew how to slove the problem by hiding my sentimental things and buying the same things to plant in the basement so they think they are taking my sentimental things but the truma of decision to hide my necklace for years is what made me have the reaction but
Sometimes having to hide things from people who hurt you can traumatize you but also sometimes as a adult
Hiding is not enough for certain things so you have to hide your things buy the same thing at good will and plant it were the toxic person wanted to take from you things it is so they think they are hurting you but you know you have your sentimental things and they don't and yes it will hurt you a little bit but you have to remind yourself that they took the bait one and your things are safe with you and it's OK to let them them think they hurt you without letting them hurt you sometimes you need to for your own mental health and safety
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2024 has been slapping me hard with my childhood truma but I am learning why my reaction is what it is and that even though it hurts I know exactly what to do in the situation and I have always had to hide sentimental things that I have gotten as birthday gifts and from friends and I am adopted and older and the spoiled brat has been the moms favorite so of course when I was 12 I started to hide things that the spoiled brat wanted until they dropped it
And I was 12 when the spoiled brat wanted my necklace that I got from a friend my grandmother protected me for years and that necklace was the last thing she defend me on before she died the day before my 13th birthday and the mom and spoiled brat continued to bully for my necklace when we move to a new house when I was 14 I made a decision that broke me to hide my necklace in a place I knew they would never look
And I knew it was going to stay hidden for years not just a week or month or one year I told them Iost it after hiding it
And now as a adult I over heard the spoiled brat saying that they are going to take other sentimental things of mine when they move out especially a certain things that helped get through losing my grandmother so the Idea of hiding things made me have some sort of attack that was not a Anxiety attack this time
I was gasping for air chest felt wired I think it was a mini hart attack going to ask the doctor even though I knew how to slove the problem by hiding my sentimental things and buying the same things to plant in the basement so they think they are taking my sentimental things but the truma of decision to hide my necklace for years is what made me have the reaction but
Sometimes having to hide things from people who hurt you can traumatize you but also sometimes as a adult
Hiding is not enough for certain things so you have to hide your things buy the same thing at good will and plant it were the toxic person wanted to take from you things it is so they think they are hurting you but you know you have your sentimental things and they don't and yes it will hurt you a little bit but you have to remind yourself that they took the bait one and your things are safe with you and it's OK to let them them think they hurt you without letting them hurt you sometimes you need to for your own mental health and safety
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frutigerSora
My dad has been abusing me ever since I was 4. Throughout the years, he has always justified his abuse and for years I thought being bruised was normal. I do these strange little things I can't really explain when I'm near him. I'm afraid of eating and even being in the same room as him. He always wonders why I don't talk to him, ask questions about life or anything in general, or even ask him to buy something for me. For some reason I do these little twitches whenever I'm talking to him, and he notices this and assumes that I did something wrong, he would always threaten to knock my teeth out, so whenever he talks to me, I have to actually focus on not making any sudden twitches while talking to him. I always isolate myself in my room, I want to rot in bed but he'll just abuse me because of it. I feel like he has control of me like I'm his puppet, he also watches me sometimes and I can see him in my peripheral and it makes me uncomfortable, I can't even smile without him making a big deal out of it. He always thinks I'm up to no good. I feel like I'll never escape this household, I feel like I'm in a prison. He just doesn't get me at all, all those years and he still doesn't know why I don't really connect with him. I'm not really scared of anyone else but him. I see everyone else with normal families and it makes me jealous and sad that mine is so dysfunctional. I wish I had a normal life but this is the reality I'm faced with. I try to escape reality with social media and it helps, but I always come back to reality. There's just so many horrible things he's done to me, I can't even tell anyone because he could get into serious trouble. I just want to move away and live my life in peace. I just had to get this off my chest
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My dad has been abusing me ever since I was 4. Throughout the years, he has always justified his abuse and for years I thought being bruised was normal. I do these strange little things I can't really explain when I'm near him. I'm afraid of eating and even being in the same room as him. He always wonders why I don't talk to him, ask questions about life or anything in general, or even ask him to buy something for me. For some reason I do these little twitches whenever I'm talking to him, and he notices this and assumes that I did something wrong, he would always threaten to knock my teeth out, so whenever he talks to me, I have to actually focus on not making any sudden twitches while talking to him. I always isolate myself in my room, I want to rot in bed but he'll just abuse me because of it. I feel like he has control of me like I'm his puppet, he also watches me sometimes and I can see him in my peripheral and it makes me uncomfortable, I can't even smile without him making a big deal out of it. He always thinks I'm up to no good. I feel like I'll never escape this household, I feel like I'm in a prison. He just doesn't get me at all, all those years and he still doesn't know why I don't really connect with him. I'm not really scared of anyone else but him. I see everyone else with normal families and it makes me jealous and sad that mine is so dysfunctional. I wish I had a normal life but this is the reality I'm faced with. I try to escape reality with social media and it helps, but I always come back to reality. There's just so many horrible things he's done to me, I can't even tell anyone because he could get into serious trouble. I just want to move away and live my life in peace. I just had to get this off my chest
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ORProductionss
Motivational Speech:
If there is anyone out there giving their time to fulfill other people’s needs, I’d like to say to make sure you save some time for yourself. Know who you are, not who you’re supposed to please. Set the right boundaries so you don’t be taken advantage of. Most people struggle with this part because of what’s known as Fawning, where you appease others to avoid the fear of getting into a fight. I mean, what even are boundaries What specific ones should I make How do I know I won’t lose any friends/lovers or family members after this Why am I like this Well, I can’t offer a definitive answer that correspond to any of those questions, but I do know that if you keep letting it get worse, you’ll lose yourself entirely. You will be who this person wants you to be, and make sure you stay that way. Your vulnerabilities will leave you exposed to harmful coping mechanisms, and maybe even deathBut with the right amount of communication, action and understanding, you will be able to break free. Find your purpose in this life, and keep chasing it until you’ve got it!
I’ll see you in December
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Motivational Speech:
If there is anyone out there giving their time to fulfill other people’s needs, I’d like to say to make sure you save some time for yourself. Know who you are, not who you’re supposed to please. Set the right boundaries so you don’t be taken advantage of. Most people struggle with this part because of what’s known as Fawning, where you appease others to avoid the fear of getting into a fight. I mean, what even are boundaries What specific ones should I make How do I know I won’t lose any friends/lovers or family members after this Why am I like this Well, I can’t offer a definitive answer that correspond to any of those questions, but I do know that if you keep letting it get worse, you’ll lose yourself entirely. You will be who this person wants you to be, and make sure you stay that way. Your vulnerabilities will leave you exposed to harmful coping mechanisms, and maybe even deathBut with the right amount of communication, action and understanding, you will be able to break free. Find your purpose in this life, and keep chasing it until you’ve got it!
I’ll see you in December
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psych2go
I also have another question. What does the dreams which shows people being killed by himself mean For example, in past few days I saw people being killed by me. In that dream, I don't know how, but certain persons got frozen in ice, I don't know how but it was due to me, that's all what I knew. Somehow, I left them there outside so that they'd be free and able to move as a result of solar beams but somehow, I went and came back again later after facing many uncomfortable stuff (As usual, those are extreme spaces which are hard to be observed in the real life) to see whether get broke free from where they're stuck but the main figure I saw was still frozen in a cube. When I reached there a huge red cloth appeared from no where and it covered and went through my body and I didn't see that person anymore. I guess he got fallen from that balcony (or whatever) and then I realized it was the star spangled banner which is open to sunlight to appear brighter. While seeing that I also heard the anthem in a weird way. What does this actually mean I'm confused.
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I also have another question. What does the dreams which shows people being killed by himself mean For example, in past few days I saw people being killed by me. In that dream, I don't know how, but certain persons got frozen in ice, I don't know how but it was due to me, that's all what I knew. Somehow, I left them there outside so that they'd be free and able to move as a result of solar beams but somehow, I went and came back again later after facing many uncomfortable stuff (As usual, those are extreme spaces which are hard to be observed in the real life) to see whether get broke free from where they're stuck but the main figure I saw was still frozen in a cube. When I reached there a huge red cloth appeared from no where and it covered and went through my body and I didn't see that person anymore. I guess he got fallen from that balcony (or whatever) and then I realized it was the star spangled banner which is open to sunlight to appear brighter. While seeing that I also heard the anthem in a weird way. What does this actually mean I'm confused.
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stormeel369
I wish i knew about this earlier but i've suffered like this for 20 years until i got some help. I will say I more than likely i probably have some permanent damage from all the abuse i've gotten. even now 2 years later i still have to live with constant stuff even though i'm in a better home now.
edit: i suffer from clinical depression, cptsd, i've developed a serious eating disorder where when ever i get depressed i will eat very little to maybe nothing at all and i wouldn't tell anyone about it. I'm also pretty sure my fight or flight response is broken because there's a lot of things that sent me into that, that i've had to be on the constant look out.
also ty psych2go each video i watch of yours the closer i am to understanding true extent of my trauma and how to heal from it
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I wish i knew about this earlier but i've suffered like this for 20 years until i got some help. I will say I more than likely i probably have some permanent damage from all the abuse i've gotten. even now 2 years later i still have to live with constant stuff even though i'm in a better home now.
edit: i suffer from clinical depression, cptsd, i've developed a serious eating disorder where when ever i get depressed i will eat very little to maybe nothing at all and i wouldn't tell anyone about it. I'm also pretty sure my fight or flight response is broken because there's a lot of things that sent me into that, that i've had to be on the constant look out.
also ty psych2go each video i watch of yours the closer i am to understanding true extent of my trauma and how to heal from it
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josephlim-c8q
Thank you so much for this video. It really hit home for me, as I’ve struggled with the effects of verbal and emotional abuse from my mother and physical abuse from my stepfather. Growing up, I hated myself and constantly criticized myself, hoping to prevent my mother from doing so. This video helped me understand how those experiences have shaped the way I think, feel, and relate to others, especially in terms of anxiety, trust issues, and emotional blunting. It’s comforting to know that the brain is adaptable and that healing is possible. Your message about seeking support and not blaming oneself really resonated with me. I’m still on my healing journey, but this video gave me a lot of hope. Thank you again for sharing this important information.
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Thank you so much for this video. It really hit home for me, as I’ve struggled with the effects of verbal and emotional abuse from my mother and physical abuse from my stepfather. Growing up, I hated myself and constantly criticized myself, hoping to prevent my mother from doing so. This video helped me understand how those experiences have shaped the way I think, feel, and relate to others, especially in terms of anxiety, trust issues, and emotional blunting. It’s comforting to know that the brain is adaptable and that healing is possible. Your message about seeking support and not blaming oneself really resonated with me. I’m still on my healing journey, but this video gave me a lot of hope. Thank you again for sharing this important information.
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NarcSurvivor
Abuse rewires your brain. When you are being abused, your brain becomes like a sponge and you begin to learn things from your abuser. You may even begin to develop similar traits. Because this is being taught to you. Many abusers justify their behaviour. They will make you believe that it is acceptable. Some can be influential or charismatic. So this behaviour may begin to rub off on you. But at your core, you are still you. You just need to unlearn what was taught to you. While they may need to start again from the beginning. Which is why they will learn positive traits from you and mimic them in front of other people. Because they learned the wrong things. Many of them have an arrested development. They’re not fully developed humans.
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Abuse rewires your brain. When you are being abused, your brain becomes like a sponge and you begin to learn things from your abuser. You may even begin to develop similar traits. Because this is being taught to you. Many abusers justify their behaviour. They will make you believe that it is acceptable. Some can be influential or charismatic. So this behaviour may begin to rub off on you. But at your core, you are still you. You just need to unlearn what was taught to you. While they may need to start again from the beginning. Which is why they will learn positive traits from you and mimic them in front of other people. Because they learned the wrong things. Many of them have an arrested development. They’re not fully developed humans.
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natetoews2421
A few years ago I was unfortunately the victim of gaslighting and I was being told that my parents didn’t care about me and I had to quit everything I did and I was better off without my parents and friends and because I was told not to tell anyone about it was so uneasy and a couple of years ago I started to picture myself walking on a narrow path and the rocks were falling and I stopped and walked back and said there is something fishy going on here and I finally told my parents about what I had been through and I am now on the road to recovery and I see a psychiatrist regularly and I feel a lot better now I got my toxic situation out there and the gaslighter is living a life of hell instead of me
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A few years ago I was unfortunately the victim of gaslighting and I was being told that my parents didn’t care about me and I had to quit everything I did and I was better off without my parents and friends and because I was told not to tell anyone about it was so uneasy and a couple of years ago I started to picture myself walking on a narrow path and the rocks were falling and I stopped and walked back and said there is something fishy going on here and I finally told my parents about what I had been through and I am now on the road to recovery and I see a psychiatrist regularly and I feel a lot better now I got my toxic situation out there and the gaslighter is living a life of hell instead of me
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cagedazrael
It's so hard to even begin to describe what I've been through to see how to fix my problems and myself. I was abused since birth, in every sense of the word. Verbally, I was insulted, degraded, threatened, tricked, manipulated, and hated. Physically, I was SA'd and worse, beaten, strangled, thrown, slammed, and during the summers when I wasn't in school, I was neglected to live on my own. All my father knew how to do was hurt me, it was his only goal in being a father. All of this happened until I got out at 13, but 13 years of all of that has made recovering one of the most difficult things to do in my entire life, second only to surviving. Idk why I'm ranting, and idk why you'd read this
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It's so hard to even begin to describe what I've been through to see how to fix my problems and myself. I was abused since birth, in every sense of the word. Verbally, I was insulted, degraded, threatened, tricked, manipulated, and hated. Physically, I was SA'd and worse, beaten, strangled, thrown, slammed, and during the summers when I wasn't in school, I was neglected to live on my own. All my father knew how to do was hurt me, it was his only goal in being a father. All of this happened until I got out at 13, but 13 years of all of that has made recovering one of the most difficult things to do in my entire life, second only to surviving. Idk why I'm ranting, and idk why you'd read this
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ArborealAlien
Moved away during college but coming back to the house I'm realizing just how bad it was my whole life. I'm actually feeling myself slipping back into old brain paths. But the thing is I can't afford anything else. I don't have friends because I was never able to learn how to interact with others (grew up in isolation and my family pushing away any potential friends when I was very young. Additionally the only times I've been to therapy they immediately just try to talk about my other diagnosis. I know how to live with au-DHD, I don't know how to live with it AND trauma. I'm starting to worry I'm never going to be able to build meaningful relationships.
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Moved away during college but coming back to the house I'm realizing just how bad it was my whole life. I'm actually feeling myself slipping back into old brain paths. But the thing is I can't afford anything else. I don't have friends because I was never able to learn how to interact with others (grew up in isolation and my family pushing away any potential friends when I was very young. Additionally the only times I've been to therapy they immediately just try to talk about my other diagnosis. I know how to live with au-DHD, I don't know how to live with it AND trauma. I'm starting to worry I'm never going to be able to build meaningful relationships.
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azucar_skull
it's ironic this video was uploaded today. today marks 1 full year of escaping my abusers. i distracted myself by making a complicated dish that took all day to make. pozole. it's my favorite dish actually and this is the first time i made it by myself. instead of last year where i was cold and empty, right now i am warm and full.
but that doesn't mean today was a great day or an easy day. it took all my efforts to go to the store and buy the ingredients, having to flee back to the car to calm down from a panic attack. twice. but i got home and made the soup, even went back for seconds. maybe next year i can make puerquitos, my favorite dessert.
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it's ironic this video was uploaded today. today marks 1 full year of escaping my abusers. i distracted myself by making a complicated dish that took all day to make. pozole. it's my favorite dish actually and this is the first time i made it by myself. instead of last year where i was cold and empty, right now i am warm and full.
but that doesn't mean today was a great day or an easy day. it took all my efforts to go to the store and buy the ingredients, having to flee back to the car to calm down from a panic attack. twice. but i got home and made the soup, even went back for seconds. maybe next year i can make puerquitos, my favorite dessert.
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isaiahates9533
I'm 16 this helps me understand where the issue is but how do I fix it I have been abused by my parents but I still love them but that not the problem I just don't want to feel depressed and hate myself anymore and no offense to those that take the medicine but I don't want to take that stuff because I can't take those forever and if I have to take medicine to not feel depressed or upset when people compliment me id rather just end it now so I come here today asking what now what do I do please anyone just point me in the right direction to go witch answer is for me what do I listen to where do I go just tell me what to do and I'll do it
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I'm 16 this helps me understand where the issue is but how do I fix it I have been abused by my parents but I still love them but that not the problem I just don't want to feel depressed and hate myself anymore and no offense to those that take the medicine but I don't want to take that stuff because I can't take those forever and if I have to take medicine to not feel depressed or upset when people compliment me id rather just end it now so I come here today asking what now what do I do please anyone just point me in the right direction to go witch answer is for me what do I listen to where do I go just tell me what to do and I'll do it
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CaY-kAy-Da-CrEaToR
When i was with my boyfriend in 8th grade i was in an after achool program with his best friend his friend didn't like me and he didn’t like or he would think was stuipd he would hit me with a metal water bottle he had when my bf wasn't there because he had to go home and i never told my boyfriend at the time becajse i was scared and i didn’t want to ruin a friendship over thay bur now thay i think about it i should have told him and maybe he would have put him in his place and me and my ex are very god friend and we hate his friend but it wasn't because of thay it was because is was a toxic person
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When i was with my boyfriend in 8th grade i was in an after achool program with his best friend his friend didn't like me and he didn’t like or he would think was stuipd he would hit me with a metal water bottle he had when my bf wasn't there because he had to go home and i never told my boyfriend at the time becajse i was scared and i didn’t want to ruin a friendship over thay bur now thay i think about it i should have told him and maybe he would have put him in his place and me and my ex are very god friend and we hate his friend but it wasn't because of thay it was because is was a toxic person
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who4259
I was diagnosed with bipolar & clinical depression & PTSD makes me extremely defensive. My emotions were all over the place until I shutdown, now I shut down more often than not. I used to hurt myself & I still constantly think about ending myself. It's hard cause I still love in the toxic environment that mental got me here, I at least got out of the physical environment. But it's still so hard, I feel like a failure for not being able to just get better & move on. My life feels like a cycle of anxiety, intrusive thoughts, bad decisions, depression & wanting to end my life.
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I was diagnosed with bipolar & clinical depression & PTSD makes me extremely defensive. My emotions were all over the place until I shutdown, now I shut down more often than not. I used to hurt myself & I still constantly think about ending myself. It's hard cause I still love in the toxic environment that mental got me here, I at least got out of the physical environment. But it's still so hard, I feel like a failure for not being able to just get better & move on. My life feels like a cycle of anxiety, intrusive thoughts, bad decisions, depression & wanting to end my life.
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simbeau
Yes. The brain is plastic.
But I'm 50 and there's no counselling or therapy available. By cognition has dropped to the point where I can no longer read and comprehend more than a couple paragraphs without taking a long break and even then I have to go back and read the passages again, so things like self-help books and DBT workbooks are useless to me.
If you have a loved one with these issues, please do whatever you can to get them help as soon as you can. Things can get better with the right help. But without the help they seldom do and they could end up like me.
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Yes. The brain is plastic.
But I'm 50 and there's no counselling or therapy available. By cognition has dropped to the point where I can no longer read and comprehend more than a couple paragraphs without taking a long break and even then I have to go back and read the passages again, so things like self-help books and DBT workbooks are useless to me.
If you have a loved one with these issues, please do whatever you can to get them help as soon as you can. Things can get better with the right help. But without the help they seldom do and they could end up like me.
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psych2go
i feel this video.
5: 30 i would do this, but almost everyone whom i interact in my life or are not ready for that conversation or are my abusers (or just people i dont feel safe enough, nor comfortable to), and i cant really reach out to a professional rigth now, so the only resources i have are to wait and see what happens, ( the first person i told 1% of my experiences IS my abuser, and has been since years, both physical and mental, not to sound like a crybaby here but GOSH WOLLY GEEZ WILLKERS! ,im sorry)
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i feel this video.
5: 30 i would do this, but almost everyone whom i interact in my life or are not ready for that conversation or are my abusers (or just people i dont feel safe enough, nor comfortable to), and i cant really reach out to a professional rigth now, so the only resources i have are to wait and see what happens, ( the first person i told 1% of my experiences IS my abuser, and has been since years, both physical and mental, not to sound like a crybaby here but GOSH WOLLY GEEZ WILLKERS! ,im sorry)
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user7-o9w
I struggle with severe anxiety, major depression and PTSD, as a result of all the trauma in my past, and hearing about how trauma affects the brain makes me realize I’m not broken, I’ve just been through things that changed me. Having gone through a toxic environment at home, I was always on edge, waiting for something bad to happen, and I think my brain just got stuck in that mode. Even now, as an adult, I feel like I’m constantly in fight or flight mode, even when there’s nothing threatening me.
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I struggle with severe anxiety, major depression and PTSD, as a result of all the trauma in my past, and hearing about how trauma affects the brain makes me realize I’m not broken, I’ve just been through things that changed me. Having gone through a toxic environment at home, I was always on edge, waiting for something bad to happen, and I think my brain just got stuck in that mode. Even now, as an adult, I feel like I’m constantly in fight or flight mode, even when there’s nothing threatening me.
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Admit-Audacity
Veteran of all types of abuse here. Cptsd. I cant work and my brain doesn’t work properly. I am a mum and I gained custody despite having A&D on top. I wish that healthy boundaries were taught in school. But parental abuse and suffering trauma in childhood makes it very hard to filter emotions and standards. What you learnt as a young child you accepted. This is part of the mess that creates your brain, leaving you-open to having few boundaries as an adult. So the cycle continues.
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Veteran of all types of abuse here. Cptsd. I cant work and my brain doesn’t work properly. I am a mum and I gained custody despite having A&D on top. I wish that healthy boundaries were taught in school. But parental abuse and suffering trauma in childhood makes it very hard to filter emotions and standards. What you learnt as a young child you accepted. This is part of the mess that creates your brain, leaving you-open to having few boundaries as an adult. So the cycle continues.
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THANATOS-PRIME
Abuse, a mighty lion enough and eventually he’ll think and feel like he’s a scared little kitten.
While there was some physical abuse, It was mostly mental that just annihilated self-confidence growing up. The thing I tell myself though is, I’m not my trauma. I’m a a much more stronger and confident and more importantly whole human being. I know I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, but I’m myself and that’s what matters.
I stumble I fall; I’m only human.
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Abuse, a mighty lion enough and eventually he’ll think and feel like he’s a scared little kitten.
While there was some physical abuse, It was mostly mental that just annihilated self-confidence growing up. The thing I tell myself though is, I’m not my trauma. I’m a a much more stronger and confident and more importantly whole human being. I know I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, but I’m myself and that’s what matters.
I stumble I fall; I’m only human.
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IslandLife273
This makes so much sense now. I feel like this. On high alert every second of the day for years and years. Abuse from family, abuse from partners, abuse at work. Abuse everywhere. Then overwhelmed with feelings I can’t cope with. And yes, suicidal ideation, that is becoming not ideation but near reality. I’ve had enough. I can’t live like this. There is no help when I asked for years and I’ve given up asking. I just don’t want to live like this anymore.
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This makes so much sense now. I feel like this. On high alert every second of the day for years and years. Abuse from family, abuse from partners, abuse at work. Abuse everywhere. Then overwhelmed with feelings I can’t cope with. And yes, suicidal ideation, that is becoming not ideation but near reality. I’ve had enough. I can’t live like this. There is no help when I asked for years and I’ve given up asking. I just don’t want to live like this anymore.
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