What Childhood Trauma Victims Often Think But Never Say
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Date: 2024-12-05
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Comments and reviews: 20
psych2go
1. Of course. I've certain attachment issues in this manner. The most head scratching thing is, when I attempt standing against my bullies/haters those normal people start criticizing me for being bigheaded
2. Yeah. I always get this feeling. Especially, when I'm going out. I feel like all the people in the bus attempt tormenting me and I feel what they're talking among them looking at me. Somehow, can't say whether they're not thinking that at all. Somehow, I have a hard time associating with girls because I'm kinda like Frank (from The Maniac 2012 except for the violent/coercive traits) somehow, I'd rather isolate myself in front of the computer screen than going out to see them. I mean, this is so common. Also, there're certain intrusive thoughts that I struggle from. Somehow, start watching horror kinda relieved me over the time.
3. Not quite now at expressing them but somehow, I still feel this way. Somehow, since my ups and downs are lesser now, I feel better.
4. But no one else loves me that way, my father is there but there's no one else who loves me without a reason. Obvious, it's only now I'm getting some sort of a support from the head of a faculty to back-up the assignments I missed but the truth is the majority is angry about it and they especially provide strong sanctions against me indifferent to others. They always criticize me behind my back. I mean, so, yeah! It's unfair that I think this way. Somehow, there're certain people who's diagnosed with C-PTSD say that don't express them as the general nature of the victims of it and carry your failures by yourself.
5. Not anymore because I don't reject the concept of pride and I no longer see it as something bad. There's something bad but it's not pride. We don't need to be so humble to ourselves while I don't mean always to others. Somehow, it's true that this isn't always the case but much better now.
6. Despite everything else, this is exactly correct and I don't know how to control that. For instance, today the present lecturer in the lab asked a girl who came for the viva Who's your best friend where there were only boys, I couldn't resist getting hypervigilant and touching my head with both hands. There're other incidents where I start silent blaming which others can easily notice. Somehow, I don't think these are flashbacks as I was informed by ChatGPT but these are triggers for sure.
7. I felt this way and kinda stand up for myself recently thinking No! I'm the master in charge of me, somehow, at the end of the day I've kinda used when others needed me and finally dumped off. Somehow, I won't stop this fight but. wait I've emotions and I'm helpless but. Agh. I should stronger but (You might be wondering, What)
8. Yes. Even on this comment section, I feel like someone would comment (or rather avoid because of feeling disgusted about my acts) saying Hey, Anuruk Suriyaarachchi which mental illness don't you have, well I don't suffer with Paraphilic Disorders, Substance Abuse Disorders or probably Personality Disorder (Who knows whether the professional who diagnosed me with PTSD has mistaken it with BPD or C-PTSD.
9. I don't know whether the term syndrome related to mental health was ever used in our country because most of them aren't even aware about when talking about that (I mean the professionals)
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1. Of course. I've certain attachment issues in this manner. The most head scratching thing is, when I attempt standing against my bullies/haters those normal people start criticizing me for being bigheaded
2. Yeah. I always get this feeling. Especially, when I'm going out. I feel like all the people in the bus attempt tormenting me and I feel what they're talking among them looking at me. Somehow, can't say whether they're not thinking that at all. Somehow, I have a hard time associating with girls because I'm kinda like Frank (from The Maniac 2012 except for the violent/coercive traits) somehow, I'd rather isolate myself in front of the computer screen than going out to see them. I mean, this is so common. Also, there're certain intrusive thoughts that I struggle from. Somehow, start watching horror kinda relieved me over the time.
3. Not quite now at expressing them but somehow, I still feel this way. Somehow, since my ups and downs are lesser now, I feel better.
4. But no one else loves me that way, my father is there but there's no one else who loves me without a reason. Obvious, it's only now I'm getting some sort of a support from the head of a faculty to back-up the assignments I missed but the truth is the majority is angry about it and they especially provide strong sanctions against me indifferent to others. They always criticize me behind my back. I mean, so, yeah! It's unfair that I think this way. Somehow, there're certain people who's diagnosed with C-PTSD say that don't express them as the general nature of the victims of it and carry your failures by yourself.
5. Not anymore because I don't reject the concept of pride and I no longer see it as something bad. There's something bad but it's not pride. We don't need to be so humble to ourselves while I don't mean always to others. Somehow, it's true that this isn't always the case but much better now.
6. Despite everything else, this is exactly correct and I don't know how to control that. For instance, today the present lecturer in the lab asked a girl who came for the viva Who's your best friend where there were only boys, I couldn't resist getting hypervigilant and touching my head with both hands. There're other incidents where I start silent blaming which others can easily notice. Somehow, I don't think these are flashbacks as I was informed by ChatGPT but these are triggers for sure.
7. I felt this way and kinda stand up for myself recently thinking No! I'm the master in charge of me, somehow, at the end of the day I've kinda used when others needed me and finally dumped off. Somehow, I won't stop this fight but. wait I've emotions and I'm helpless but. Agh. I should stronger but (You might be wondering, What)
8. Yes. Even on this comment section, I feel like someone would comment (or rather avoid because of feeling disgusted about my acts) saying Hey, Anuruk Suriyaarachchi which mental illness don't you have, well I don't suffer with Paraphilic Disorders, Substance Abuse Disorders or probably Personality Disorder (Who knows whether the professional who diagnosed me with PTSD has mistaken it with BPD or C-PTSD.
9. I don't know whether the term syndrome related to mental health was ever used in our country because most of them aren't even aware about when talking about that (I mean the professionals)
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DeannaNewton-d7x
I don't know if it counts as childhood trauma but I always thought that if I did something wrong that everyone would get mad at me. Not at home, but at school when I was in the 4th Grade whenever I made a mistake and I would get punished by the teacher and my classmates. Half of the class wouldn't do anything about it, so I thought that I deserved it and it seemed like everyone wanted me to leave them alone. So I decided to leave everyone alone, forever. Which means that I don't talk to anyone unless someone talked to me, that I would sit by myself because I know that no one else would want to be around me, and that I had to do everything right so that no one would get mad at me. I did the same thing with my family and my parents were upset that I didn't tell them about what happened in the 4th Grade, but I didn't want to be a tattletale so I just kept it to myself and I thought they would just side with the teacher. My family doesn't like that I made myself miserable just because of what happened in the past and they told me that I didn't deserve that treatment at all. So I've been taking medicine to help me with my Depression and Anxiety as well as slowly socializing more with people because no one is out to get me like I usually thought. I'm 32 years old right now and it does make me sad when I think of the 4th Grade and the middle school years of me isolating myself, but I'm in a better place than I was as a kid.
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I don't know if it counts as childhood trauma but I always thought that if I did something wrong that everyone would get mad at me. Not at home, but at school when I was in the 4th Grade whenever I made a mistake and I would get punished by the teacher and my classmates. Half of the class wouldn't do anything about it, so I thought that I deserved it and it seemed like everyone wanted me to leave them alone. So I decided to leave everyone alone, forever. Which means that I don't talk to anyone unless someone talked to me, that I would sit by myself because I know that no one else would want to be around me, and that I had to do everything right so that no one would get mad at me. I did the same thing with my family and my parents were upset that I didn't tell them about what happened in the 4th Grade, but I didn't want to be a tattletale so I just kept it to myself and I thought they would just side with the teacher. My family doesn't like that I made myself miserable just because of what happened in the past and they told me that I didn't deserve that treatment at all. So I've been taking medicine to help me with my Depression and Anxiety as well as slowly socializing more with people because no one is out to get me like I usually thought. I'm 32 years old right now and it does make me sad when I think of the 4th Grade and the middle school years of me isolating myself, but I'm in a better place than I was as a kid.
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bushramunir849
Am I the only one who starts crying uncontrollably after watching videos based on childhood trauma. I know my childhood history. yes, it was spent being emotionally neglected(but half childhood) the other half childhood was good, my parents accept me, love me but still had some lack of understanding & didn't give enough emotional support. Somehow, I'm confused that I'm effected or not bcz I don't fully fit into all of these signs(only have some) like I was not perfectionist & have anxious attachment style but the thing is I was too much non-ambitious like ok with every thing, I didn't have spark to achieve highest marks or did my best for being center of attention, just let it come whatever it is. I can made connections but not deep connections with anyone, always feel like their hidden person inside me, whom no one knows, But this uncontrollably cry gives me the hint that I have it & the most important thing I noticed that from last year(after going through a lot of tough time) I'm adopting the idea of perfectionism.
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Am I the only one who starts crying uncontrollably after watching videos based on childhood trauma. I know my childhood history. yes, it was spent being emotionally neglected(but half childhood) the other half childhood was good, my parents accept me, love me but still had some lack of understanding & didn't give enough emotional support. Somehow, I'm confused that I'm effected or not bcz I don't fully fit into all of these signs(only have some) like I was not perfectionist & have anxious attachment style but the thing is I was too much non-ambitious like ok with every thing, I didn't have spark to achieve highest marks or did my best for being center of attention, just let it come whatever it is. I can made connections but not deep connections with anyone, always feel like their hidden person inside me, whom no one knows, But this uncontrollably cry gives me the hint that I have it & the most important thing I noticed that from last year(after going through a lot of tough time) I'm adopting the idea of perfectionism.
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siennaprice1351
I definitely have childhood trauma. I’m also completely blind and on the autism spectrum. My emotional needs and my needs when it comes to my special needs were neglected. I was taught to suppress my feelings and my needs as a blind and autistic person. I’ve healed so much though. I now know what I’m capable of. I’m learning to speak up for myself and say what I need. For anybody else out there who has special needs and/or mental illness, speaking up and communicating your needs doesn’t make you a simp. You have different needs than a neurotypical person would, and that’s ok. I’ve been passive for a long time, but now when I stand up for myself, I come off very aggressive, but without meaning to.
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I definitely have childhood trauma. I’m also completely blind and on the autism spectrum. My emotional needs and my needs when it comes to my special needs were neglected. I was taught to suppress my feelings and my needs as a blind and autistic person. I’ve healed so much though. I now know what I’m capable of. I’m learning to speak up for myself and say what I need. For anybody else out there who has special needs and/or mental illness, speaking up and communicating your needs doesn’t make you a simp. You have different needs than a neurotypical person would, and that’s ok. I’ve been passive for a long time, but now when I stand up for myself, I come off very aggressive, but without meaning to.
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don-cid007
When i got bullied i felt helpless then there was a time where i shut everyone out of my life even my parents who wanted to help me but yeah i shuted everyone out in that time i was a person who was respected but for the wrong reasons i was very aggressive towards my bullies and used force too keep them away and i felt so terrible to wear this mask so last year i tried a kinda new start by taking off that mask and well i got really helpless again and had some pretty crushing things going on after that but im still alive even thoug i thougt i wouldn't be i know im lucky to have parents who wanna help me but i can't talk to them about everything and to be honest i don't have friends to talk to so i keep it to myself.
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When i got bullied i felt helpless then there was a time where i shut everyone out of my life even my parents who wanted to help me but yeah i shuted everyone out in that time i was a person who was respected but for the wrong reasons i was very aggressive towards my bullies and used force too keep them away and i felt so terrible to wear this mask so last year i tried a kinda new start by taking off that mask and well i got really helpless again and had some pretty crushing things going on after that but im still alive even thoug i thougt i wouldn't be i know im lucky to have parents who wanna help me but i can't talk to them about everything and to be honest i don't have friends to talk to so i keep it to myself.
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psych2go
Listen guys, don't let emotions sleep in you. They will burst some day and it wont look good for either others or yourself. Try talking to parents or go to someone that specialises with what your problem is! its important. I let my feelings take over my sleep at night because I think bad of myself, but I talk it out in the morning with my mother like. I remember too much of the cringe moments, awkward shit and a lot of bad stuff and talk it out. You don't need to put words on your body like I did to prove that the feelings you have is strong and making you feel mad or sad.
AND SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT FIX TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM, SO JUST THINK IT OUT! (I always keep that in my mind and so should you. i think)
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Listen guys, don't let emotions sleep in you. They will burst some day and it wont look good for either others or yourself. Try talking to parents or go to someone that specialises with what your problem is! its important. I let my feelings take over my sleep at night because I think bad of myself, but I talk it out in the morning with my mother like. I remember too much of the cringe moments, awkward shit and a lot of bad stuff and talk it out. You don't need to put words on your body like I did to prove that the feelings you have is strong and making you feel mad or sad.
AND SUICIDE IS A PERMANENT FIX TO A TEMPORARY PROBLEM, SO JUST THINK IT OUT! (I always keep that in my mind and so should you. i think)
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psych2go
I suffer from all that stuff especially from a toxic family between my mother and my stepfather so I kind of know how it feels especially since I'm still traumatized to this day it feels like that the pain hasn't gone away ever since I started feeling it when I was 14 or 15 and it still stayed with me to this day especially since I noticed I've also been having restless nights and I've noticed that I've been holding my head from dealing with a trauma and I try my best to tell myself get out of my head get out of my head but it's like it doesn't work even slapping myself out of it doesn't help it still comes back to haunt me I feel like a lot of emotions are coming my way and it's scary
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I suffer from all that stuff especially from a toxic family between my mother and my stepfather so I kind of know how it feels especially since I'm still traumatized to this day it feels like that the pain hasn't gone away ever since I started feeling it when I was 14 or 15 and it still stayed with me to this day especially since I noticed I've also been having restless nights and I've noticed that I've been holding my head from dealing with a trauma and I try my best to tell myself get out of my head get out of my head but it's like it doesn't work even slapping myself out of it doesn't help it still comes back to haunt me I feel like a lot of emotions are coming my way and it's scary
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user7-o9w
Really hits home for me because growing up, I always felt like I was walking on eggshells all the time around family members, peers and teachers. I was always afraid of messing up, and that’s where my self-doubt came into play. I also relate to the hypervigilance part too as I’m always feeling like something bad is going to happen, even when things are fine. The anxiety causes me to overthink everything and to brace myself for the worst, even if I don’t know what the worst is. My emotions are all over the place too. And the impostor syndrome resulting from it, often makes me feel like I don’t deserve anything good that happens to me.
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Really hits home for me because growing up, I always felt like I was walking on eggshells all the time around family members, peers and teachers. I was always afraid of messing up, and that’s where my self-doubt came into play. I also relate to the hypervigilance part too as I’m always feeling like something bad is going to happen, even when things are fine. The anxiety causes me to overthink everything and to brace myself for the worst, even if I don’t know what the worst is. My emotions are all over the place too. And the impostor syndrome resulting from it, often makes me feel like I don’t deserve anything good that happens to me.
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mysryuza
I have childhood trauma. My mom wonders why I can’t open up to her about all of what I feel
Because she dismisses it and shuts me down, telling me to not sound like I’m reted after telling her that sometimes I feel like I don’t know if how I behave with customers is faking or the real me because I’m usually introverted outside of work. She put me down for opening up to my cousin, who was the only person in my family that I can open up to for emotional support and dares me to share everything I say about her online since I thought she was so bad
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I have childhood trauma. My mom wonders why I can’t open up to her about all of what I feel
Because she dismisses it and shuts me down, telling me to not sound like I’m reted after telling her that sometimes I feel like I don’t know if how I behave with customers is faking or the real me because I’m usually introverted outside of work. She put me down for opening up to my cousin, who was the only person in my family that I can open up to for emotional support and dares me to share everything I say about her online since I thought she was so bad
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psych2go
I am 33 and dont have much family that care and no friends. My father and i dont talk much he left me in a situation where i broke my leg at work asked if he can be there for my surgery and told me no he had to deal with his new girlfriend. He cheated on my mom with this new girlfriend and turned the family against me and my mom. I am not invited to family get together only if my brother or sister is invited now they are on speaking terms with mom not me. I feel like i dont deserve anyone in my corner just like in my childhood
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I am 33 and dont have much family that care and no friends. My father and i dont talk much he left me in a situation where i broke my leg at work asked if he can be there for my surgery and told me no he had to deal with his new girlfriend. He cheated on my mom with this new girlfriend and turned the family against me and my mom. I am not invited to family get together only if my brother or sister is invited now they are on speaking terms with mom not me. I feel like i dont deserve anyone in my corner just like in my childhood
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Moon-kc3ms
I resonate with everyone of these things. However, I can't tell if I even have any childhood trauma. Honestly, that makes me feel so much worse since I don't have a reason to feel this way.
The only kind of thing that made my childhood difficult was that so many people left me and I often blamed myself for everything. (I held. and hold. myself to very high and unreasonable standards.
However, my family was and is always nice to me. They were amazing. I honestly don't understand what is going on in my brain right now.
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I resonate with everyone of these things. However, I can't tell if I even have any childhood trauma. Honestly, that makes me feel so much worse since I don't have a reason to feel this way.
The only kind of thing that made my childhood difficult was that so many people left me and I often blamed myself for everything. (I held. and hold. myself to very high and unreasonable standards.
However, my family was and is always nice to me. They were amazing. I honestly don't understand what is going on in my brain right now.
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ushank1n20
Yea I definitely had some stuff like that happen to me. I'm 28 and still not a single person was understanding enough to even hear me. I feel that no one in the world even slightly cares about me. Sometimes I think about of giving it up but I suppose people still won't care, just fake cry and say oh we didn't knew. And sometimes I have an urge to take revenge on society for being this way but I don't want hurt anyone. I'm just tired of everything and I hate my life and myself for it being this way for so long.
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Yea I definitely had some stuff like that happen to me. I'm 28 and still not a single person was understanding enough to even hear me. I feel that no one in the world even slightly cares about me. Sometimes I think about of giving it up but I suppose people still won't care, just fake cry and say oh we didn't knew. And sometimes I have an urge to take revenge on society for being this way but I don't want hurt anyone. I'm just tired of everything and I hate my life and myself for it being this way for so long.
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. Something is deeply wrong with me 0: 23
2. I feel like something bad is going to happen any second 0: 51
3. My emotions are intense and out of my control 1: 24
4. No one can be trusted 2: 13
5. I always feel powerless 2: 56
6. Past memories make me triggered 3: 56
7. Why does everyone takes advantage of me 4: 23
8. I feel like I'm always faking it 5: 13
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Timestamps
1. Something is deeply wrong with me 0: 23
2. I feel like something bad is going to happen any second 0: 51
3. My emotions are intense and out of my control 1: 24
4. No one can be trusted 2: 13
5. I always feel powerless 2: 56
6. Past memories make me triggered 3: 56
7. Why does everyone takes advantage of me 4: 23
8. I feel like I'm always faking it 5: 13
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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maddietaehyung2092
I have so heavy emotions sometimes, that when I remember back what my failures were like, and what I have done, I start to fall down physically and mentally. And my reactions became more sharp, as my sense became stronger. I hate it, and I hate the way I overreact to anything. I analyzed myself and thought I might develop something like Post Traumatic Disorder. It is so well related with what went wrong with me and my past experiences.
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I have so heavy emotions sometimes, that when I remember back what my failures were like, and what I have done, I start to fall down physically and mentally. And my reactions became more sharp, as my sense became stronger. I hate it, and I hate the way I overreact to anything. I analyzed myself and thought I might develop something like Post Traumatic Disorder. It is so well related with what went wrong with me and my past experiences.
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ChrisXB-g5u
#1 I feel this like a lot of times
#2 PTSD and yes i hate it is annoying
#3 yes and no
#4 mostly relationships I find myself not being able to trust because backstabbers are very common in my life
#5 always 24/7
#6 I once song a song with my girlfriend now anytime I hear it it makes me think of how I lost her
#7 little too relatable
#8 I want the times I just have faked it to avoid not getting harassed
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#1 I feel this like a lot of times
#2 PTSD and yes i hate it is annoying
#3 yes and no
#4 mostly relationships I find myself not being able to trust because backstabbers are very common in my life
#5 always 24/7
#6 I once song a song with my girlfriend now anytime I hear it it makes me think of how I lost her
#7 little too relatable
#8 I want the times I just have faked it to avoid not getting harassed
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hanneuljjang
timestamps!
00: 25 - 1. something is deeply wrong with me
00: 53 - 2. i feel like something bad is going to happen any second
01: 26 - 3. my emotions are intense and out of control
02: 15 - 4. no one can be trusted
02: 58 - 5. i always feel powerless
03: 57 - 6. past memories only make me triggered
04: 24 - 7. why does everyone take advantage of me
05: 14 - 8. i feel like i'm always faking it
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timestamps!
00: 25 - 1. something is deeply wrong with me
00: 53 - 2. i feel like something bad is going to happen any second
01: 26 - 3. my emotions are intense and out of control
02: 15 - 4. no one can be trusted
02: 58 - 5. i always feel powerless
03: 57 - 6. past memories only make me triggered
04: 24 - 7. why does everyone take advantage of me
05: 14 - 8. i feel like i'm always faking it
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achd73
why does she intentionally create problems and ruin things with her lack of moral understanding why is so distance from nature to design love like some parasite of emotional bargains but against her is the heart and it speaks and her mountain collapses to fate and the wind scatter the sand of empires and love will be lost to the dogs of war but in turn they will be against them power of their own folly to destroy their babylon
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why does she intentionally create problems and ruin things with her lack of moral understanding why is so distance from nature to design love like some parasite of emotional bargains but against her is the heart and it speaks and her mountain collapses to fate and the wind scatter the sand of empires and love will be lost to the dogs of war but in turn they will be against them power of their own folly to destroy their babylon
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Johnny6ex
Depends how you grow and leave it behind some are strong and some pussis
Also thinking there is some wrong with you comes becouse you dont know else they never learned
And think bad is yst highten sense
The we cal intuition came from predator times where you need constant looking for danger
Yes why humanity still has to look but we are nothing but lame with out it
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Depends how you grow and leave it behind some are strong and some pussis
Also thinking there is some wrong with you comes becouse you dont know else they never learned
And think bad is yst highten sense
The we cal intuition came from predator times where you need constant looking for danger
Yes why humanity still has to look but we are nothing but lame with out it
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mysterion3182
I still think about what happened to me even though it's been 30 years. My former stepfather beat me and my older sister horribly. She'd end up taking belongings away from us if we called the police. I remember one time he was mad because I accidentally broke something of his, he took one of my crutches and hit my leg with it. Mom told me that I should've been more careful
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I still think about what happened to me even though it's been 30 years. My former stepfather beat me and my older sister horribly. She'd end up taking belongings away from us if we called the police. I remember one time he was mad because I accidentally broke something of his, he took one of my crutches and hit my leg with it. Mom told me that I should've been more careful
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Xx. ch3rry. xX6
This video literally talks about me bcuz i suffered by my traumas and my childhood. i always try to support myself but my father always have to ruin my happiness. no one didnt even made me like im a human. i always ended up feeling like a puppet or a doll to the others. i hope someday i would reach my freedom to this thing i called. abusive relationship.
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This video literally talks about me bcuz i suffered by my traumas and my childhood. i always try to support myself but my father always have to ruin my happiness. no one didnt even made me like im a human. i always ended up feeling like a puppet or a doll to the others. i hope someday i would reach my freedom to this thing i called. abusive relationship.
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