The Signs of Betrayal Trauma in Someone
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Date: 2023-10-09
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Comments and reviews: 20
MelanieScribbles
Yikes, this sounds so much like me, please don't me like this. Wish it wasn't mental health workers that made the betrayal trauma that I've been dealing with all my life worse, though; that really makes healing so much more difficult! At the time of posting this comment, I can't even THINK of sitting in the waiting room of a psychologist's office without feeling a sense of absoute panic, so I don't have access to professional help anymore due to my issues. Long story short; I'm autistic, and I was living in this sheltered living facility as a 'bridge' between moving out of my parent's place, and finding a home to call my own. But thanks to them, I'd be living on the streets if it wasn't for the kindness of my parents taking me back in, and anyone who could potentially help me couldn't drop my case fast enough because 'it legally was too complicated'. They all just wanted to shift blame onto the victim in the situation (me, and it led to my ab sers getting exactly what they wanted; they wanted to completely destroy my life, and all of the people who could've saved me actively allowed it to happen. My parents were literally the only ones left who wanted to help me in that situation. So I can hardly blame myself for feeling like this: Like, I'm still working on healing from it all so I might get some help someday to take care of that last bit of trauma, since I'm definitely not functioning anymore. But it's definitely a struggle: I'm not even sure if I can ever trust another mental health worker again after that. Like, I'm trying, but I wish it was as easy as me 'just going to therapy'.
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Yikes, this sounds so much like me, please don't me like this. Wish it wasn't mental health workers that made the betrayal trauma that I've been dealing with all my life worse, though; that really makes healing so much more difficult! At the time of posting this comment, I can't even THINK of sitting in the waiting room of a psychologist's office without feeling a sense of absoute panic, so I don't have access to professional help anymore due to my issues. Long story short; I'm autistic, and I was living in this sheltered living facility as a 'bridge' between moving out of my parent's place, and finding a home to call my own. But thanks to them, I'd be living on the streets if it wasn't for the kindness of my parents taking me back in, and anyone who could potentially help me couldn't drop my case fast enough because 'it legally was too complicated'. They all just wanted to shift blame onto the victim in the situation (me, and it led to my ab sers getting exactly what they wanted; they wanted to completely destroy my life, and all of the people who could've saved me actively allowed it to happen. My parents were literally the only ones left who wanted to help me in that situation. So I can hardly blame myself for feeling like this: Like, I'm still working on healing from it all so I might get some help someday to take care of that last bit of trauma, since I'm definitely not functioning anymore. But it's definitely a struggle: I'm not even sure if I can ever trust another mental health worker again after that. Like, I'm trying, but I wish it was as easy as me 'just going to therapy'.
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Sandfall
I m so glad this video was uploaded at the right time. The last several weeks I have struggled and beat myself up over the fact that I constantly distrust. I ve never been cheated on in a relationship, as i have only had one relationship prior to my current one, but I ve been betrayed in friendships on several occasions in my life. It took so many years to finally overcome my feelings of worry that someone will abandon or betray me in friendship. I had a best friend of five years who I d trust with my life, and as soon as we just recently became a couple several months ago, I found myself completely questioning and often lacking trust as soon as our relationship became romantic, despite the fact I ve always known he is the most trustworthy, honest and beautiful human being to ever exist. The last few weeks I had it really bad and it caused me to hurt him without wanting to I feel so awful that I feel this way cause it s so random and unwarranted, and I try really hard to control it and fix it and keep it to myself cause he doesn t deserve to have me act like this when he has never hidden anything and shows how trustworthy he is on a regular basis. Cause I know it s unhealthy, I work to change it and I hope to improve and somehow be cured one day, but seeing this video pop up in my feed gave me just a small bit of relief to stop hating myself over it and to be kinder to myself over the fact that it s just past painful experiences that have taught and caused this coping behavior in me. I still want to change, but I ll try to not be as hard on myself as before
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I m so glad this video was uploaded at the right time. The last several weeks I have struggled and beat myself up over the fact that I constantly distrust. I ve never been cheated on in a relationship, as i have only had one relationship prior to my current one, but I ve been betrayed in friendships on several occasions in my life. It took so many years to finally overcome my feelings of worry that someone will abandon or betray me in friendship. I had a best friend of five years who I d trust with my life, and as soon as we just recently became a couple several months ago, I found myself completely questioning and often lacking trust as soon as our relationship became romantic, despite the fact I ve always known he is the most trustworthy, honest and beautiful human being to ever exist. The last few weeks I had it really bad and it caused me to hurt him without wanting to I feel so awful that I feel this way cause it s so random and unwarranted, and I try really hard to control it and fix it and keep it to myself cause he doesn t deserve to have me act like this when he has never hidden anything and shows how trustworthy he is on a regular basis. Cause I know it s unhealthy, I work to change it and I hope to improve and somehow be cured one day, but seeing this video pop up in my feed gave me just a small bit of relief to stop hating myself over it and to be kinder to myself over the fact that it s just past painful experiences that have taught and caused this coping behavior in me. I still want to change, but I ll try to not be as hard on myself as before
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Jeydomo
It's not just one person, it's just the unfortunate repeating patterns.
You realize your role in the relationships, you initiate, ask the questions, make the drive to and from, think of what activities to do.
But when you stop calling, texting and doing the initiating it becomes apparent to me that they were content with just letting you do things as is, and no effort is needed on their part.
So you think back to the good times, and see the bad ones and why they were the way they were.
Weeks become months, months I to years.
And next thing you know, when you finally do the reaching out, when you catch up, they have a new bestfriend like hey, I guess I wasn't enough for you then or now.
Instead fixing what was broken, they took the easy route again and just found a new person.
Thats the part that hurts, you were the reason there was a relationship and also the only reason.
People just keep leaving me, and I can't trust that easy because I don't see the effort on their part. life goes on, people change.
I don't expect anyone to stay in my life anymore, but I'm devastated to hear all the grandmas that loved me like their own, passing away and hearing about it later on.
Life right?
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It's not just one person, it's just the unfortunate repeating patterns.
You realize your role in the relationships, you initiate, ask the questions, make the drive to and from, think of what activities to do.
But when you stop calling, texting and doing the initiating it becomes apparent to me that they were content with just letting you do things as is, and no effort is needed on their part.
So you think back to the good times, and see the bad ones and why they were the way they were.
Weeks become months, months I to years.
And next thing you know, when you finally do the reaching out, when you catch up, they have a new bestfriend like hey, I guess I wasn't enough for you then or now.
Instead fixing what was broken, they took the easy route again and just found a new person.
Thats the part that hurts, you were the reason there was a relationship and also the only reason.
People just keep leaving me, and I can't trust that easy because I don't see the effort on their part. life goes on, people change.
I don't expect anyone to stay in my life anymore, but I'm devastated to hear all the grandmas that loved me like their own, passing away and hearing about it later on.
Life right?
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sonicnjdekGaming
The trust issues and the finding the why part hit me differently. An event that happened years ago (not comfortable disclosing) gave me trust issues in general. All the negative thoughts are stuck in my head and I just simply can t open up to people (emotionally) as I feel they will just backstab me again the worst part is I overshare and most of them don t know what I feel inside, and I just want to keep it that way, keep the mask on, a facade if you will (like dream, as he was hated for taking it off, although i strongly believe he didn t deserve the hate at all ) and I stay in my room most of the time, but I still respond to friends and family, I m just more comfortable in my room. It s where all the thinking happens, my domain if you may. I end up listening and helping others more than myself to hide all the negative, it s all bottled up and that s what scares me; when it breaks down or explodes, it s all going to come like a flood, wave of tears and I always want to know the why behind everything, why did xxx do this? Why am I doing this? Is this right? are just a few of the questions
Thank you for making all these videos and keep doing what you re doing!
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The trust issues and the finding the why part hit me differently. An event that happened years ago (not comfortable disclosing) gave me trust issues in general. All the negative thoughts are stuck in my head and I just simply can t open up to people (emotionally) as I feel they will just backstab me again the worst part is I overshare and most of them don t know what I feel inside, and I just want to keep it that way, keep the mask on, a facade if you will (like dream, as he was hated for taking it off, although i strongly believe he didn t deserve the hate at all ) and I stay in my room most of the time, but I still respond to friends and family, I m just more comfortable in my room. It s where all the thinking happens, my domain if you may. I end up listening and helping others more than myself to hide all the negative, it s all bottled up and that s what scares me; when it breaks down or explodes, it s all going to come like a flood, wave of tears and I always want to know the why behind everything, why did xxx do this? Why am I doing this? Is this right? are just a few of the questions
Thank you for making all these videos and keep doing what you re doing!
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ChocoParfait
Here I am have you spied me? You ve literally talked about me there I keep seeking for the truth, I keep asking him questions, but he keeps lying and I have discovered some lies that s why I say this. There are people who lie very often and want to save their asses instead of respecting you. I ve been dealing with this for 4 years, I ve been going to therapy for 3 years and well it s not so easy I guess I m just weak but it s really hard when you are in love with this person who backstabs you even if I m not in love anymore it s just hard to forget about everything, because everyone can be so good at lying and pretending so yeah now I have trust issues
And it s true, looking for the truth is torturing. I feel bad almost everyday and this thing makes feel anxious. It s hard to explain. And I always feel like I don t know enough. You really nailed it, I think it s the first time I found a video about what I m going through
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Here I am have you spied me? You ve literally talked about me there I keep seeking for the truth, I keep asking him questions, but he keeps lying and I have discovered some lies that s why I say this. There are people who lie very often and want to save their asses instead of respecting you. I ve been dealing with this for 4 years, I ve been going to therapy for 3 years and well it s not so easy I guess I m just weak but it s really hard when you are in love with this person who backstabs you even if I m not in love anymore it s just hard to forget about everything, because everyone can be so good at lying and pretending so yeah now I have trust issues
And it s true, looking for the truth is torturing. I feel bad almost everyday and this thing makes feel anxious. It s hard to explain. And I always feel like I don t know enough. You really nailed it, I think it s the first time I found a video about what I m going through
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PixieAnna
I definitely have this. My mother is an extremely toxic, evil person who has betrayed me over and over all my life.
An office where I worked for 5 years (and thought I'd be there forever) and suddenly was bullied horribly by management until I resigned. Found out later the office manager wanted to hire one of her friends for my position. My dad is remarried to a woman only 9 years older than me who has deep down hated me for decades and on one of the lowest nights of my life took me aside and berated me. I never told my dad nor have I ever shown what I really think of this woman. As a result of all these things, I suffer from horrendous anxiety and depression and literally cannot handle life.
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I definitely have this. My mother is an extremely toxic, evil person who has betrayed me over and over all my life.
An office where I worked for 5 years (and thought I'd be there forever) and suddenly was bullied horribly by management until I resigned. Found out later the office manager wanted to hire one of her friends for my position. My dad is remarried to a woman only 9 years older than me who has deep down hated me for decades and on one of the lowest nights of my life took me aside and berated me. I never told my dad nor have I ever shown what I really think of this woman. As a result of all these things, I suffer from horrendous anxiety and depression and literally cannot handle life.
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FallenFalchion
This video was MADE for me! I show every one of these signs and it hurts. I have been betrayed by so many different people. My father, my old bosses, some other relatives, friends, etc.
HOWEVER, I am changing my life for the better! I finally opened up about my problems and I am getting help. I am cutting ties with those who used & abused me (including my dad) and I am not looking back. I feel a lot better and I am considering going to therapy when I get the chance. I am done being whiny 19-year-old. My complaints are valid, yes, but I need to move forward and stop sitting in the rain.
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This video was MADE for me! I show every one of these signs and it hurts. I have been betrayed by so many different people. My father, my old bosses, some other relatives, friends, etc.
HOWEVER, I am changing my life for the better! I finally opened up about my problems and I am getting help. I am cutting ties with those who used & abused me (including my dad) and I am not looking back. I feel a lot better and I am considering going to therapy when I get the chance. I am done being whiny 19-year-old. My complaints are valid, yes, but I need to move forward and stop sitting in the rain.
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Rhoran
1. If you're going to burn in subtitles, please proofread them first.
2. I have experienced betrayal trauma in my past. My best friend in 6th and 7th grade turned on me and said I annoyed him every single day. I internalized that all throughout high school and college and was afraid to talk to anyone one on one. I stayed in groups to Spread my influence over multiple people so I wasn't concentrating my annoying personality on one person and could stay quiet while others did the talking. It's only now, decades later, that I realized why I acted that way and that I am wanted.
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1. If you're going to burn in subtitles, please proofread them first.
2. I have experienced betrayal trauma in my past. My best friend in 6th and 7th grade turned on me and said I annoyed him every single day. I internalized that all throughout high school and college and was afraid to talk to anyone one on one. I stayed in groups to Spread my influence over multiple people so I wasn't concentrating my annoying personality on one person and could stay quiet while others did the talking. It's only now, decades later, that I realized why I acted that way and that I am wanted.
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Harried. Cherie
WELP. I have anxiety depression and derealization. (Panic attacks) Even now I still hide and spiral. My mom was a majority of the cause. My father died. She lied to me about it. Then lord about supporting me. Then lied I was ok. Lie after lie after lie then using my panic to fuel her narc behaviour and get rewarded from peers for caring for a disabled child and how little if ever become.
I don t trust anyone (not fully. But I expect many people to trust me. Unnng. So much bs.
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WELP. I have anxiety depression and derealization. (Panic attacks) Even now I still hide and spiral. My mom was a majority of the cause. My father died. She lied to me about it. Then lord about supporting me. Then lied I was ok. Lie after lie after lie then using my panic to fuel her narc behaviour and get rewarded from peers for caring for a disabled child and how little if ever become.
I don t trust anyone (not fully. But I expect many people to trust me. Unnng. So much bs.
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indigolilac
This is gold Respect and appreciation Yes I recently got betrayed by multiple persons I thought were friends. Half a year has passed and I'm trying to think of them as mere acquaintances like those you meet in a MMORPG or some chat group but it's so hard when I once believed the moments and exchanges we shared and connection was special. Now I see I was the only one giving and I can never expect anything out of the false promises they gave. Practical steps to fully getting over?
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This is gold Respect and appreciation Yes I recently got betrayed by multiple persons I thought were friends. Half a year has passed and I'm trying to think of them as mere acquaintances like those you meet in a MMORPG or some chat group but it's so hard when I once believed the moments and exchanges we shared and connection was special. Now I see I was the only one giving and I can never expect anything out of the false promises they gave. Practical steps to fully getting over?
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StormEel369
after my whole life of 21 years so far i finally found one of my main mental problems i have finally found this video thank you for help bringing this to light and helps me give something to talk about next when i see my therapist and this might be one of the reasons why there are so many things i have a hard time with after just knowing betrayal. thank you so much for doing these videos it's really helpful to sort through all the confusing bits of googling stuff
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after my whole life of 21 years so far i finally found one of my main mental problems i have finally found this video thank you for help bringing this to light and helps me give something to talk about next when i see my therapist and this might be one of the reasons why there are so many things i have a hard time with after just knowing betrayal. thank you so much for doing these videos it's really helpful to sort through all the confusing bits of googling stuff
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KrisTheRatVods
because of a bad personal experience, I had problems trusting partners, to a degree where one of them broke up with me recently
we're still friends, it's not really a problem, but I did question what I could've done better, why I didn't trust her.
this video is really helpful to make me understand my own thought process and actions, I'll try to mend all my relationships, I know I can trust them, it's just a little hard.
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because of a bad personal experience, I had problems trusting partners, to a degree where one of them broke up with me recently
we're still friends, it's not really a problem, but I did question what I could've done better, why I didn't trust her.
this video is really helpful to make me understand my own thought process and actions, I'll try to mend all my relationships, I know I can trust them, it's just a little hard.
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LivelaughloveLuna
Wow, this whole time I thought I was just being dramatic about what happened. but after seeing this I realize that everything I feel is completely justified. it s been so hard, especially since the one who did this to me is in my class and I have to see her every day and my friend is still friends with her. it frustrates me to no end when I see her talking to her. everything has just been so hard and painful
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Wow, this whole time I thought I was just being dramatic about what happened. but after seeing this I realize that everything I feel is completely justified. it s been so hard, especially since the one who did this to me is in my class and I have to see her every day and my friend is still friends with her. it frustrates me to no end when I see her talking to her. everything has just been so hard and painful
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M1SAKIl
I'm very skeptical of myself but I don't think I'm traumatized in particular.
In fact, I think I look back and joke, regret and cringe at those terrible friendships I've been in more than feel held back by them.
But I do feel very picky) about who I consider a friend or if they're just an acquaintance/person I talk to.
I think I'm just lucky I got out of those toxic friendships on the quicker side.
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I'm very skeptical of myself but I don't think I'm traumatized in particular.
In fact, I think I look back and joke, regret and cringe at those terrible friendships I've been in more than feel held back by them.
But I do feel very picky) about who I consider a friend or if they're just an acquaintance/person I talk to.
I think I'm just lucky I got out of those toxic friendships on the quicker side.
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Tanaka
I was betrayed heavily by friends/colegues once and though I have moved past it now, I understand better that some of the things I did at the time was a symptom of the trauma. Especially withdrawal, I was certain after the whole ordeal I didn't even go out of my house for a whole year. It was too much, and the world felt like such a scary place in the moment.
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I was betrayed heavily by friends/colegues once and though I have moved past it now, I understand better that some of the things I did at the time was a symptom of the trauma. Especially withdrawal, I was certain after the whole ordeal I didn't even go out of my house for a whole year. It was too much, and the world felt like such a scary place in the moment.
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PhoenixfromCanada
My mother has been betraying me and my trust since I was a child. Now 38 the last betrayal towards my trust was her calling the police on me for being BUSY with my life. Now how can I go out day to day and not be triggered when I see the police. She did because she wanted to know my business and didn't care that I was BUSY with my life.
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My mother has been betraying me and my trust since I was a child. Now 38 the last betrayal towards my trust was her calling the police on me for being BUSY with my life. Now how can I go out day to day and not be triggered when I see the police. She did because she wanted to know my business and didn't care that I was BUSY with my life.
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Slynthrax
I had a best friend I knew my literal entire life betray me last year he tried to ruin my life by coming up with a bunch of lies to accuse me of and my reaction was to isolate from as many people as I could for 7 months I still struggle with the after effects of what he did I find myself acting cold to others when they remind me of that friend
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I had a best friend I knew my literal entire life betray me last year he tried to ruin my life by coming up with a bunch of lies to accuse me of and my reaction was to isolate from as many people as I could for 7 months I still struggle with the after effects of what he did I find myself acting cold to others when they remind me of that friend
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ChocoParfait
And yea, maybe the answers will never satisfy me but at some point all of the information gathered will make you feel more at ease
I haven t finished my research, let s call it like that but something he said broke something in me so I think it s important to rely on that one thing that makes us want to walk away from this toxic person
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And yea, maybe the answers will never satisfy me but at some point all of the information gathered will make you feel more at ease
I haven t finished my research, let s call it like that but something he said broke something in me so I think it s important to rely on that one thing that makes us want to walk away from this toxic person
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Angry
I have been cancelled by everyone including my family. I have 1 friend left. Unfortunately, he is 83 and is sick. I can not wait for this movie to end. Then the world will see the truth I have been saying. Until then I am alone with Spirits and Angels who can not talk to me. At least I know I am not alone. I just wished my heart was not sad.
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I have been cancelled by everyone including my family. I have 1 friend left. Unfortunately, he is 83 and is sick. I can not wait for this movie to end. Then the world will see the truth I have been saying. Until then I am alone with Spirits and Angels who can not talk to me. At least I know I am not alone. I just wished my heart was not sad.
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StarSpacewolf
Imagine that your life coach (mental health caretaker) AND your new friend/acquaintance you made at work BOTH have the same name as your old IRL ex-BFF who you're trying to forget and hearing her name triggers a (mental) breakdown.
I'm having that right now and so it's impossible for me to move on.
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Imagine that your life coach (mental health caretaker) AND your new friend/acquaintance you made at work BOTH have the same name as your old IRL ex-BFF who you're trying to forget and hearing her name triggers a (mental) breakdown.
I'm having that right now and so it's impossible for me to move on.
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