6 Signs Its Obsessive Love, Not Healthy Love
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Doc
Just recently had this experience. It was very strange. First date they were very love bomb. They showered me with gifts, used the phrase being in love with new often, staring for an uncomfortable amount of time into my eyes while sitting on my lap. What I noticed was a clear lack of respect for my boundaries. They wanted me to stay over to which I declined and said I didn't stay the night on first dates. Besides I literally lived only five minutes away anyway. Not like I couldn't pop back over anytime. But they were still insistent and showed frustration or even dismissal of me when I won't budge. It ended up being me staying very late until they fell asleep and I snuck out. They texted with me the next morning I explained myself and we ended up agreeing to a second date. I had accidentally tickled them while hugging and i mentioned I hated being tickled myself so I apologized. That in mind, while watching a movie they hopped into my lap and began to just stare into my eyes. I have Asperger's so this is incredibly awkward for me. I start to get uncomfortable and begin to fidget. They lean in for a kiss and move to my neck which begins to tickle. I jolt and say it tickled and they continued while holding me down. I start to panic and attempt to buck them off and they're laughing while tickling me and they said they liked seeing me squirm. I managed to get them off of me and said I didn't like that at all and they gave me an annoyed expression as if I ruined the mood or something. More things that are probably inappropriate but relevant happen and I end up sneaking out again. The next morning they texted and I said it was too much for me especially on a second date. They responded they do think they are too much. And that was that. I asked if that's seriously all they were going to say and they responded I don't know what to tell you I was just being myself and that was it. No apology or even interest in attempting to salvage anything. They were supposedly madly in love with me and then within hours couldn't care less
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Just recently had this experience. It was very strange. First date they were very love bomb. They showered me with gifts, used the phrase being in love with new often, staring for an uncomfortable amount of time into my eyes while sitting on my lap. What I noticed was a clear lack of respect for my boundaries. They wanted me to stay over to which I declined and said I didn't stay the night on first dates. Besides I literally lived only five minutes away anyway. Not like I couldn't pop back over anytime. But they were still insistent and showed frustration or even dismissal of me when I won't budge. It ended up being me staying very late until they fell asleep and I snuck out. They texted with me the next morning I explained myself and we ended up agreeing to a second date. I had accidentally tickled them while hugging and i mentioned I hated being tickled myself so I apologized. That in mind, while watching a movie they hopped into my lap and began to just stare into my eyes. I have Asperger's so this is incredibly awkward for me. I start to get uncomfortable and begin to fidget. They lean in for a kiss and move to my neck which begins to tickle. I jolt and say it tickled and they continued while holding me down. I start to panic and attempt to buck them off and they're laughing while tickling me and they said they liked seeing me squirm. I managed to get them off of me and said I didn't like that at all and they gave me an annoyed expression as if I ruined the mood or something. More things that are probably inappropriate but relevant happen and I end up sneaking out again. The next morning they texted and I said it was too much for me especially on a second date. They responded they do think they are too much. And that was that. I asked if that's seriously all they were going to say and they responded I don't know what to tell you I was just being myself and that was it. No apology or even interest in attempting to salvage anything. They were supposedly madly in love with me and then within hours couldn't care less
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Mercury
knew a dude. He was one of my really good friends, however Im suspecting he may have obsessive love. Not towards me, but someone else. You see my friends were playing catch or smth and one of my friends tooths got knocked out after one of the ppl smacked a ball into her face. The boy, for so reason started crying after he thought because this girl was comforting the other girl, he thought she was mad at her. He burst out into tears and the other boy who knocked the girls tooth out went up to the girls and called them monsters for making him cry. Ever since then the boy came to me asking me to text her what she is doing or where she is or why she wouldnt respond, if she hated him or not. he would pretty much use me to get answers out of the girl he was so obssessed w her. He would tell everyone around the school that she hated him and of course, the girl got mad at him and started talking to him less and talked to another boy more. He got inuriated and accused them of apperantly dating secretly and that they obviously had feelings for each other. I tried ro tell him that hes got it all mixed up in his head but he wouldn't believe me. I just want to tell you all to treat your partner with respect and its okay if they hang out with other people and it doesnt mean they want you any less. Dont force them to spend all their time with you and block them from seeing other people
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knew a dude. He was one of my really good friends, however Im suspecting he may have obsessive love. Not towards me, but someone else. You see my friends were playing catch or smth and one of my friends tooths got knocked out after one of the ppl smacked a ball into her face. The boy, for so reason started crying after he thought because this girl was comforting the other girl, he thought she was mad at her. He burst out into tears and the other boy who knocked the girls tooth out went up to the girls and called them monsters for making him cry. Ever since then the boy came to me asking me to text her what she is doing or where she is or why she wouldnt respond, if she hated him or not. he would pretty much use me to get answers out of the girl he was so obssessed w her. He would tell everyone around the school that she hated him and of course, the girl got mad at him and started talking to him less and talked to another boy more. He got inuriated and accused them of apperantly dating secretly and that they obviously had feelings for each other. I tried ro tell him that hes got it all mixed up in his head but he wouldn't believe me. I just want to tell you all to treat your partner with respect and its okay if they hang out with other people and it doesnt mean they want you any less. Dont force them to spend all their time with you and block them from seeing other people
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Ryan
Obsessive Love can be annoying, but I think the cure of obsessive love will have to be whom they obsessively admire.
1. when things goes too far and too much, at the right time, yell at them saying that you're tired of those constant affection, but try not to break up with them (I can see obsession as a sign of wanting to be at least adopted.
2. Create some form of deal I'm willing to give you a second chance, but please, I really want you to slow down and be gentle please. I also want to know why you're obsessive in the first place.
3. This specific deal might cause this obsessive person to reset to something whatever you want in fear of losing you. When this obsessive person talk about their feelings, eventually, they'll feel hurt, causing this reset again. This reset causes a systematic readoption if you listen and give them this gentle affection. From now on, this person would feel wanted and proper love. It reduces their stress, so they could think more clearly and would treat you as a friend who looks after them.
4. They start off not knowing what to do. Encourage them Try to find something you'd enjoy most. It can't always be just me. Your voice can help them adapt.
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Obsessive Love can be annoying, but I think the cure of obsessive love will have to be whom they obsessively admire.
1. when things goes too far and too much, at the right time, yell at them saying that you're tired of those constant affection, but try not to break up with them (I can see obsession as a sign of wanting to be at least adopted.
2. Create some form of deal I'm willing to give you a second chance, but please, I really want you to slow down and be gentle please. I also want to know why you're obsessive in the first place.
3. This specific deal might cause this obsessive person to reset to something whatever you want in fear of losing you. When this obsessive person talk about their feelings, eventually, they'll feel hurt, causing this reset again. This reset causes a systematic readoption if you listen and give them this gentle affection. From now on, this person would feel wanted and proper love. It reduces their stress, so they could think more clearly and would treat you as a friend who looks after them.
4. They start off not knowing what to do. Encourage them Try to find something you'd enjoy most. It can't always be just me. Your voice can help them adapt.
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Hufflepuffgirl
Hello
I'm Ella and I'm having a bit of a hard time at the minute.
I just wanted to ask this, is there such thing as having an obsessive crush? So basically there is this boy in my school who likes me. However I just like him as a friend. He's asked me 3 times now if I can go out with him. I've answered politely and said things like I'm really sorry but I'm not really interested but he just hasn't taken the hint. He's promised again and again that he won't let his feelings get in the way of our friendship but broken that promise many times. He says stuff tht makes me feel really uncomfortable like good morning love and things like that and I am trying really hard to be nice about it but he is still not taking the hint he even said he was gonna ask me to be his valentine. I do try to explain in a nice way but then he acts like the victim.
I am honestly lost
Do you mind giving me some advice?
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Hello
I'm Ella and I'm having a bit of a hard time at the minute.
I just wanted to ask this, is there such thing as having an obsessive crush? So basically there is this boy in my school who likes me. However I just like him as a friend. He's asked me 3 times now if I can go out with him. I've answered politely and said things like I'm really sorry but I'm not really interested but he just hasn't taken the hint. He's promised again and again that he won't let his feelings get in the way of our friendship but broken that promise many times. He says stuff tht makes me feel really uncomfortable like good morning love and things like that and I am trying really hard to be nice about it but he is still not taking the hint he even said he was gonna ask me to be his valentine. I do try to explain in a nice way but then he acts like the victim.
I am honestly lost
Do you mind giving me some advice?
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Killerhan
This was my ex-bf, he was constantly telling me that i should go to bed, what i should eat. Who i should be friends with, and he stopped eating, sleeping drinking or doing anything to keep his body working when i wasnt talking to him. The first time i genuinely felt threatened and panicked aswell as scared, he was drunk and told me he hated me talking to my male friends, feeling threatened over me speaking my first language (german) while he couldnt understand me which i got it was annoying however that thing stuck to me, it wasnt healthy at all he was obsessed with the idea of keeping me. I ended the relationship and he just constantly told me how selfishni was for ending it and how he didnt know why the time he was drunk could have ended our relationship. Im happy being out of it, i did truly love him but he was hurting himself. Thanks for reading it to the end)
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This was my ex-bf, he was constantly telling me that i should go to bed, what i should eat. Who i should be friends with, and he stopped eating, sleeping drinking or doing anything to keep his body working when i wasnt talking to him. The first time i genuinely felt threatened and panicked aswell as scared, he was drunk and told me he hated me talking to my male friends, feeling threatened over me speaking my first language (german) while he couldnt understand me which i got it was annoying however that thing stuck to me, it wasnt healthy at all he was obsessed with the idea of keeping me. I ended the relationship and he just constantly told me how selfishni was for ending it and how he didnt know why the time he was drunk could have ended our relationship. Im happy being out of it, i did truly love him but he was hurting himself. Thanks for reading it to the end)
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Neobob
but, how are those things unhealty?
like fr i'm lookin forward a relation where we are both having those type of behavior just because it feel great.
for exemple I do lovebombe and broke up with partner because they where not sending the ball back, she didn't cared about the relationship as much as me and it happend we simply missed chemistry.
I hope that at one point i'll meet someone who do the same because it just feel so nice and sweet.
i feel like we'r rewarding people who dont get invested in their relationship and never get out of their way to please and care for people they love, , and god this is sad asf.
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but, how are those things unhealty?
like fr i'm lookin forward a relation where we are both having those type of behavior just because it feel great.
for exemple I do lovebombe and broke up with partner because they where not sending the ball back, she didn't cared about the relationship as much as me and it happend we simply missed chemistry.
I hope that at one point i'll meet someone who do the same because it just feel so nice and sweet.
i feel like we'r rewarding people who dont get invested in their relationship and never get out of their way to please and care for people they love, , and god this is sad asf.
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Jason
i feel like i tick most of the box in the video, I have been obsess with a crush of mine and now that she slowly starting to avoid be i feel angry and sad most of the time. my relationship with my parents is that I love them at the same time I fear being judged by them being worthless. I need to reflect myself more on this and work towards improving myself. Its not easy and it oftens led me to bad sleeping pattern, sometimes ignoring my work responsibility and even often have suicidal thoughts when my crush did not respond to me or in the way I wanted to. I feel like I dont deserve love from others.
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i feel like i tick most of the box in the video, I have been obsess with a crush of mine and now that she slowly starting to avoid be i feel angry and sad most of the time. my relationship with my parents is that I love them at the same time I fear being judged by them being worthless. I need to reflect myself more on this and work towards improving myself. Its not easy and it oftens led me to bad sleeping pattern, sometimes ignoring my work responsibility and even often have suicidal thoughts when my crush did not respond to me or in the way I wanted to. I feel like I dont deserve love from others.
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Csaba
Thank you for this video! And for the many others. I kinda knew that there is a problem with me, but it was lingering just under conscious level and destructing my life. Thanks to you guys I figured that I am a quitter and I also do this obsessive love thing. Omg and all is coming from the attachement style I developed by my childhood trauma. I am working on myself. Progress, not perfection. I wish you all strenght who is going through difficulties directly or via your partner. We are not alone!
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Thank you for this video! And for the many others. I kinda knew that there is a problem with me, but it was lingering just under conscious level and destructing my life. Thanks to you guys I figured that I am a quitter and I also do this obsessive love thing. Omg and all is coming from the attachement style I developed by my childhood trauma. I am working on myself. Progress, not perfection. I wish you all strenght who is going through difficulties directly or via your partner. We are not alone!
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education
It's just sad realizing I opened this video because I wana check if I am the person who is obsessive and yeah the 6 signs fit my self. And now I'm thinking about is it too late to fix everything? To make my partner feel comfortable and secure around me? I mean, both of us have our own internal issues and we need to work for it together. But, can we? Idk. I wanna save everything. I wanna save my relationship. But I know the first thing I have to do is saving myself. But how?
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It's just sad realizing I opened this video because I wana check if I am the person who is obsessive and yeah the 6 signs fit my self. And now I'm thinking about is it too late to fix everything? To make my partner feel comfortable and secure around me? I mean, both of us have our own internal issues and we need to work for it together. But, can we? Idk. I wanna save everything. I wanna save my relationship. But I know the first thing I have to do is saving myself. But how?
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Pendoza
What I get out of the first one is that I am so doomed. My father did suicide when I was 12. I am 38 now but still have obsessive behavior. The bond with my mother is also not so good. Worsened the last decade a lot. I react emotionally all the time and am a HSP male who gets friendzoned all the time. Well that's my life. Too hard to find someone without getting obsessive and scaring them away. Happens like all the time.
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What I get out of the first one is that I am so doomed. My father did suicide when I was 12. I am 38 now but still have obsessive behavior. The bond with my mother is also not so good. Worsened the last decade a lot. I react emotionally all the time and am a HSP male who gets friendzoned all the time. Well that's my life. Too hard to find someone without getting obsessive and scaring them away. Happens like all the time.
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Karma
I was obsessively in love with this one person still have some feeling for them but they sre taken and in just glad they are happy used to control her alot but when she broke up with me it ha helped me a bit I miss her and do feel a little depressed after it hspoend but eits been 6 months idk if there's smth up with that why I still get upset Abt it when I'm hsppy she is happy idk
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I was obsessively in love with this one person still have some feeling for them but they sre taken and in just glad they are happy used to control her alot but when she broke up with me it ha helped me a bit I miss her and do feel a little depressed after it hspoend but eits been 6 months idk if there's smth up with that why I still get upset Abt it when I'm hsppy she is happy idk
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Livy
Yeah I might be a love bomber
Its because Im a people pleaser who overthinks. And it doesnt help that my 2nd love language is physical touch. I feel like if I dont make gifts, tell ppl how much I care for them, or just touch them (high fives, long hugs, hand shakes) if feels like they dont like me anymore- or they never did. I had some friend issues back then
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Yeah I might be a love bomber
Its because Im a people pleaser who overthinks. And it doesnt help that my 2nd love language is physical touch. I feel like if I dont make gifts, tell ppl how much I care for them, or just touch them (high fives, long hugs, hand shakes) if feels like they dont like me anymore- or they never did. I had some friend issues back then
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Violet_Pop_Artz
Idk if i have love bombing, I think that giving gifts is just my love language (and touch, but that's not important, but I have a issue, i don't think he likes me back- I think he has his special person already. but i want to confess to him anyways because I just want to get this off my chest, how do I do it? Just talk to him on the side? I don't know
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Idk if i have love bombing, I think that giving gifts is just my love language (and touch, but that's not important, but I have a issue, i don't think he likes me back- I think he has his special person already. but i want to confess to him anyways because I just want to get this off my chest, how do I do it? Just talk to him on the side? I don't know
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Taemasu
A video about how to stop being like that would be great. Im afraid of this being me, i rly want to change that but i don't know how. I still want to be with this girl i like for sure, but i don't want this to be unhealthy. Any tips would be great, i just want to be a better person without leaving
Sorry for my english
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A video about how to stop being like that would be great. Im afraid of this being me, i rly want to change that but i don't know how. I still want to be with this girl i like for sure, but i don't want this to be unhealthy. Any tips would be great, i just want to be a better person without leaving
Sorry for my english
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Random_name
This boy has a crush on me when we were grade 4, and now were in 2nd year highschool and he still have a crush on me. like why won't he move on? I'm showing signs that i don't like him back and that my heart is closed shut and locked for him, but he still kept going and fighting for it to open. what do i do?
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This boy has a crush on me when we were grade 4, and now were in 2nd year highschool and he still have a crush on me. like why won't he move on? I'm showing signs that i don't like him back and that my heart is closed shut and locked for him, but he still kept going and fighting for it to open. what do i do?
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Join
. I'm dating one. how can I softly guide him to understand that therapy/doctors/medical is ok? I have been trying for YEARS to help him on it, but I'm running out of fuel to keep on going with it. He won't do ANYTHING without me, and it's getting to the point where it's suffocating.
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. I'm dating one. how can I softly guide him to understand that therapy/doctors/medical is ok? I have been trying for YEARS to help him on it, but I'm running out of fuel to keep on going with it. He won't do ANYTHING without me, and it's getting to the point where it's suffocating.
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Crouton
Hey so i usually ask everyday to my girlfriend abut if she already eated, that means i am micromanaging she?
If yes pls tell me so i can stop that, in fact is not my intention but i dont want to. ake she feel umcfomrtable or think that i am posesive or something
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Hey so i usually ask everyday to my girlfriend abut if she already eated, that means i am micromanaging she?
If yes pls tell me so i can stop that, in fact is not my intention but i dont want to. ake she feel umcfomrtable or think that i am posesive or something
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May
I broke up with my boyfriend a while ago because it felt obsessive, and now watching this video it def was, he was constantly love bombing and would avoid doing his work to be with me and he would be trying to take me on dates all the time, he was a huge love bomber
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I broke up with my boyfriend a while ago because it felt obsessive, and now watching this video it def was, he was constantly love bombing and would avoid doing his work to be with me and he would be trying to take me on dates all the time, he was a huge love bomber
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zombX3
This is me and i dont know what to do. I have BPD and i do this towards my boyfriend. Idk what to do. I have been trying to get better but i have no money for therapy and i have an abusive family. I dont know how to fix myself. I didnt choose to be this way.
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This is me and i dont know what to do. I have BPD and i do this towards my boyfriend. Idk what to do. I have been trying to get better but i have no money for therapy and i have an abusive family. I dont know how to fix myself. I didnt choose to be this way.
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Insane
I actually watched this video to find out if my ex was obsessive loving me. We didnt break up for any bad reason, I just realized I was aroace and it caused him to be way too negative now. And guess who is very similar to all the signs -_-
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I actually watched this video to find out if my ex was obsessive loving me. We didnt break up for any bad reason, I just realized I was aroace and it caused him to be way too negative now. And guess who is very similar to all the signs -_-
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Pretty
BPD is a trauma response; the effect of childhood abuse, usually, that could cause a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mood disorders are more commonly caused by chemical imbalances than personality disorders which are formed in childhood.
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BPD is a trauma response; the effect of childhood abuse, usually, that could cause a chemical imbalance in the brain. Mood disorders are more commonly caused by chemical imbalances than personality disorders which are formed in childhood.
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Desideriablu
I wonder if there's a couple where both partners experience obsessive love can be happy with the situation, since both controll each other in the same way and find it sweet of each other. and love bomb each other with no end
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I wonder if there's a couple where both partners experience obsessive love can be happy with the situation, since both controll each other in the same way and find it sweet of each other. and love bomb each other with no end
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kiyomi
this was really helpful: ) I am always scared I may fall into these things due to my childhood and mental issues so this video helps me be aware of my behavior and me and my boyfriend can discuss and walk through it together: )
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this was really helpful: ) I am always scared I may fall into these things due to my childhood and mental issues so this video helps me be aware of my behavior and me and my boyfriend can discuss and walk through it together: )
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The
Is it bad that there's a lot of things in this video I completely agree with? I had a mental breakdown yesterday over someone I liked not wanting to hang out anymore and tend to spend a lot of time online to talk to my partners.
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Is it bad that there's a lot of things in this video I completely agree with? I had a mental breakdown yesterday over someone I liked not wanting to hang out anymore and tend to spend a lot of time online to talk to my partners.
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Punchi
Yah I messed up my first relationship from, overthinking, and clingy by text.
Now theres a guy I lreally like and he likes me back too. And I dont want to mess this one and dont wanna repeat the same mistake.
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Yah I messed up my first relationship from, overthinking, and clingy by text.
Now theres a guy I lreally like and he likes me back too. And I dont want to mess this one and dont wanna repeat the same mistake.
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