How to Deal With Trust Issues
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Simon
I definitely think what would be more helpful is if there were examples of people who had their trust severely betrayed and how they got through that and begun to be able to trust again.
It seems to me, based on the advice that is given even by professionals that there appears to be little to no understanding or desire to REALLY understand WHY and HOW the trust issues have occurred.
I personally have had BAD experiences with counselling services, where the cause of the mistrust (lying, deception) is at best undermined/ignored but my resulting behaviour and the impact on those affected (i. e those that DID the lying) is then the focus, because they are able to express high emotion.
Based on what I'm reading, I don't understand why a remedy would be to employ these people with the skills to identify situations which would violate their trust, AND identify those people who would violate that trust, and set appropriate boundaries. if any healing needs to take place, it can be done within that safe place, then the boundary can be reassessed.
RATHER than provide what I would call band aid fixes which would create the expectation for people to remain in what I would call toxic (for them) situations?
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I definitely think what would be more helpful is if there were examples of people who had their trust severely betrayed and how they got through that and begun to be able to trust again.
It seems to me, based on the advice that is given even by professionals that there appears to be little to no understanding or desire to REALLY understand WHY and HOW the trust issues have occurred.
I personally have had BAD experiences with counselling services, where the cause of the mistrust (lying, deception) is at best undermined/ignored but my resulting behaviour and the impact on those affected (i. e those that DID the lying) is then the focus, because they are able to express high emotion.
Based on what I'm reading, I don't understand why a remedy would be to employ these people with the skills to identify situations which would violate their trust, AND identify those people who would violate that trust, and set appropriate boundaries. if any healing needs to take place, it can be done within that safe place, then the boundary can be reassessed.
RATHER than provide what I would call band aid fixes which would create the expectation for people to remain in what I would call toxic (for them) situations?
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K. J.
My boyfriend doesn't trust any of my awnsers when he asked why I was online or on bussy on Discord for example. I've never lied to him and always honest. He wants me to show him I didn't by sharing screenshots or even share my screen. I think this is crossing my personal boundary of wanting my own privacy. I used to share my screen and screenshots alot at the beginning becouse he's always afraid of me cheating on him becouse all his previous girlfriends did. I'm constantly on edge when he asked me if I chatted with anyone multiple times a day even tho I already shared it and then demanding proof. He isn't asking as often but it still hurts knowing he cannot trust a word I'm saying with always responding with are you sure? Or asking the same question 30 minutes later to see if my awnser has changed. I asked him multiple times what I can do to make him feel more secure and all he mentions is time. But it's very hard and often turn into fights. I feel hurt becouse he doesn't trust me even tho I've done everything to prove otherwise and he says he feels hurt becouse I make him angry to a point he even threaten to come over or cut himself with a knife. Any advice will be highly appreciated
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My boyfriend doesn't trust any of my awnsers when he asked why I was online or on bussy on Discord for example. I've never lied to him and always honest. He wants me to show him I didn't by sharing screenshots or even share my screen. I think this is crossing my personal boundary of wanting my own privacy. I used to share my screen and screenshots alot at the beginning becouse he's always afraid of me cheating on him becouse all his previous girlfriends did. I'm constantly on edge when he asked me if I chatted with anyone multiple times a day even tho I already shared it and then demanding proof. He isn't asking as often but it still hurts knowing he cannot trust a word I'm saying with always responding with are you sure? Or asking the same question 30 minutes later to see if my awnser has changed. I asked him multiple times what I can do to make him feel more secure and all he mentions is time. But it's very hard and often turn into fights. I feel hurt becouse he doesn't trust me even tho I've done everything to prove otherwise and he says he feels hurt becouse I make him angry to a point he even threaten to come over or cut himself with a knife. Any advice will be highly appreciated
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Lianas
Thank you so much u really needed this video because I was researching up on jealousy videos but I realize I wasnt jealous of my partner its that I didnt trust them but I think whats holding me back is my boyfriend still talking to his ex
Heres the thing
So far our relationship is close to 2 months in and he told me a week or 2 into our relationship when I asked who he last dated that he last dated his ex who is also his best friend currently and before they were dating but he admitted he was to nervous to make moves which caused the break up yet I know he makes moves with me and holds my hand and stuff I still feel so insecure Im guessing when I see them talking during class and keep in mind this is my 2nd relationship after taking a 4 year break to be with myself more than other boys I still dont know what to look out for as for insecurities but I have an idea for when Im ever feeling jealous to take out a sticky note or journal and write down why Im this way.
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Thank you so much u really needed this video because I was researching up on jealousy videos but I realize I wasnt jealous of my partner its that I didnt trust them but I think whats holding me back is my boyfriend still talking to his ex
Heres the thing
So far our relationship is close to 2 months in and he told me a week or 2 into our relationship when I asked who he last dated that he last dated his ex who is also his best friend currently and before they were dating but he admitted he was to nervous to make moves which caused the break up yet I know he makes moves with me and holds my hand and stuff I still feel so insecure Im guessing when I see them talking during class and keep in mind this is my 2nd relationship after taking a 4 year break to be with myself more than other boys I still dont know what to look out for as for insecurities but I have an idea for when Im ever feeling jealous to take out a sticky note or journal and write down why Im this way.
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no-name
i break free from this whole trusting issues the moment i learned (from Sadhguru, whatever they are doing is in their understanding of life and none of it is in my control.
so, rather than feeling betrayal when they break my trust, i must understand, they do it because that's their level of awareness in regards to the situation, and i have the control in how i react and my attitude towards the person / circumstances.
i also learned that, trusting others is also about how trustworthy we are as a person. can i become someone who i expect them to be?
from this point of view, i feel more compassion and forgiving toward others and myself.
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i break free from this whole trusting issues the moment i learned (from Sadhguru, whatever they are doing is in their understanding of life and none of it is in my control.
so, rather than feeling betrayal when they break my trust, i must understand, they do it because that's their level of awareness in regards to the situation, and i have the control in how i react and my attitude towards the person / circumstances.
i also learned that, trusting others is also about how trustworthy we are as a person. can i become someone who i expect them to be?
from this point of view, i feel more compassion and forgiving toward others and myself.
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fear
I never let anyone get close to me and its a problem.
There was time a girl liked me and was so up front about it and I liked her too but did nothing about it and the thing is I dont know why I acted like that.
This has happened many times but the story above was special because she was obsessed over me (knew my name and i never even saw her before) and I didnt even know who she was and I found her extremely attractive AND NOTHING HAPPENED because of me not letting people get close
Idk man Im getting kinda lonely. If this happened today I probably would have said yes but the opportunity has been missed.
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I never let anyone get close to me and its a problem.
There was time a girl liked me and was so up front about it and I liked her too but did nothing about it and the thing is I dont know why I acted like that.
This has happened many times but the story above was special because she was obsessed over me (knew my name and i never even saw her before) and I didnt even know who she was and I found her extremely attractive AND NOTHING HAPPENED because of me not letting people get close
Idk man Im getting kinda lonely. If this happened today I probably would have said yes but the opportunity has been missed.
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Chill
I identified on my own that I have to be able to say what I need in order for them to be met. My trust issues stem from familial betrayal and lack of emotional/mental safety in my family. So the fact I cant just detach from them makes it incredibly difficult having my trust issues & still living with them. I wanna grow past it but my being built a wall to protect me from their bull but its creating this need to do everything on my own, to be alone, to shoo them away but I guess I cant do that anymore /: . I wish I could be on my own still but I need their help to even get to be on my own.
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I identified on my own that I have to be able to say what I need in order for them to be met. My trust issues stem from familial betrayal and lack of emotional/mental safety in my family. So the fact I cant just detach from them makes it incredibly difficult having my trust issues & still living with them. I wanna grow past it but my being built a wall to protect me from their bull but its creating this need to do everything on my own, to be alone, to shoo them away but I guess I cant do that anymore /: . I wish I could be on my own still but I need their help to even get to be on my own.
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Amy
I used to have trust issues after having experienced one heartbreak and running into a couple of bad seeds. My closest girlfriend is still struggling with trust issues because of a relationship that ended badly. As much as I want her to just have a happy life in general, I feel like there's only so much that I can do for her sometimes. That feeling of powerlessness doesn't always sit well with me, and amongst other things. I guess if anything, I'm just glad that the long-standing relationship that I've maintained with my own therapist has served me well.
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I used to have trust issues after having experienced one heartbreak and running into a couple of bad seeds. My closest girlfriend is still struggling with trust issues because of a relationship that ended badly. As much as I want her to just have a happy life in general, I feel like there's only so much that I can do for her sometimes. That feeling of powerlessness doesn't always sit well with me, and amongst other things. I guess if anything, I'm just glad that the long-standing relationship that I've maintained with my own therapist has served me well.
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nevo676
I have trust issues because of my family. I was adapted to live in an ungratifying environment, so I'm always first to gratify and praise others to create a different environment. Sometimes, it can make people uncomfortable.
I feel like I could never get an intimate understanding between me and my friends because they can't provide me with the resources that will help me get over my trust issues. I'm always afraid of being disappointed and getting an offensive reaction that will put me in a worse place than I was.
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I have trust issues because of my family. I was adapted to live in an ungratifying environment, so I'm always first to gratify and praise others to create a different environment. Sometimes, it can make people uncomfortable.
I feel like I could never get an intimate understanding between me and my friends because they can't provide me with the resources that will help me get over my trust issues. I'm always afraid of being disappointed and getting an offensive reaction that will put me in a worse place than I was.
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Julitta06
I have trust issues. I won't speak to someone until I know them. I've been used and mistreated so many times. And people are like just open up. How am I supposed to open up, when I've been harmed by people so much as a kid (especially 11-13 years old. It's been a few years, and it still effects me. Even though I live in a completely different country, go to a completely different school. Just thinking about how I was treated back then, makes me tear up.
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I have trust issues. I won't speak to someone until I know them. I've been used and mistreated so many times. And people are like just open up. How am I supposed to open up, when I've been harmed by people so much as a kid (especially 11-13 years old. It's been a few years, and it still effects me. Even though I live in a completely different country, go to a completely different school. Just thinking about how I was treated back then, makes me tear up.
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Cursed
When you see so many people get cheated on and lied to with no remorse its hard to trust your partner to not do the same. Everybody says their partner is different and most of those people get cheated on, so whos to say i wont be? See this is where the trust issues come from for me. All it takes is seeing texts between her and another guy she didnt tell me about and im instantly worried out of my mind when in reality its not even that bad.
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When you see so many people get cheated on and lied to with no remorse its hard to trust your partner to not do the same. Everybody says their partner is different and most of those people get cheated on, so whos to say i wont be? See this is where the trust issues come from for me. All it takes is seeing texts between her and another guy she didnt tell me about and im instantly worried out of my mind when in reality its not even that bad.
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SK1lls
I searched for this hoping to improve something but i noticed i do most of this things.
I always talk about what i think and feel but then she says im too clingy or thats just the way i am or she is. I apparantly have to accept periods of cold or its my problem. So i dont know what to about my trust its not even that i expect Something but just fear shell drift away and this is especially sad as a man its like im a little kid
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I searched for this hoping to improve something but i noticed i do most of this things.
I always talk about what i think and feel but then she says im too clingy or thats just the way i am or she is. I apparantly have to accept periods of cold or its my problem. So i dont know what to about my trust its not even that i expect Something but just fear shell drift away and this is especially sad as a man its like im a little kid
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LOLitsADD1E
I think i have trust issues but idk it might be a mental disorder bc i always think my friends are lying when they say i cant call and then i check all their social media and see what their doing or if their doing something else and then on their insta i might see them hanging out with other people so i think they dont like me as much and go off on them. idk i might just be insane
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I think i have trust issues but idk it might be a mental disorder bc i always think my friends are lying when they say i cant call and then i check all their social media and see what their doing or if their doing something else and then on their insta i might see them hanging out with other people so i think they dont like me as much and go off on them. idk i might just be insane
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Luz
Yeah yeah, let's take these steps so I can open up to people, only for it to happen again.
I'm sorry but no thanks, I've had enough with the falseness of people in general. Even if, IF there are still good people out there, the risk I would put myelf through to ever meet them outweighs the benefits.
It's not my fault people are like that anyways, it's human nature, deal with it
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Yeah yeah, let's take these steps so I can open up to people, only for it to happen again.
I'm sorry but no thanks, I've had enough with the falseness of people in general. Even if, IF there are still good people out there, the risk I would put myelf through to ever meet them outweighs the benefits.
It's not my fault people are like that anyways, it's human nature, deal with it
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Briiney
I have trust issues from past relationships and it is now affecting my current relationship. My man is so great and I want to be the best woman for him. He does not deserve to deal with hurt he didnt cause. Fear is my number one problem that triggers the trust issues. The idea of spending my life with him makes it worth all the struggle to break free from not being able to trust.
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I have trust issues from past relationships and it is now affecting my current relationship. My man is so great and I want to be the best woman for him. He does not deserve to deal with hurt he didnt cause. Fear is my number one problem that triggers the trust issues. The idea of spending my life with him makes it worth all the struggle to break free from not being able to trust.
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education
I honestly hold myself back. Im afraid to make friends because Im still tethered to the past with my old group. But Im also afraid because I. lost the meaning of friendship
Im used to people being toxic to me when they first meet me so when I meet a kind hearted person it throws me off because I think they will try to act nice to get inside my head
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I honestly hold myself back. Im afraid to make friends because Im still tethered to the past with my old group. But Im also afraid because I. lost the meaning of friendship
Im used to people being toxic to me when they first meet me so when I meet a kind hearted person it throws me off because I think they will try to act nice to get inside my head
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RayzodellX
I've always had trust issues even when i was little but idk how they were formed, there was one time a lashed out on one of my friends I've had since childhood and i think that kinda ruined our 10 years of friendship, i still talk to them only a bit though but our friendship wasn't the same as it was, idk it's maybe because we grew apart?
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I've always had trust issues even when i was little but idk how they were formed, there was one time a lashed out on one of my friends I've had since childhood and i think that kinda ruined our 10 years of friendship, i still talk to them only a bit though but our friendship wasn't the same as it was, idk it's maybe because we grew apart?
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Son
I didnt appreciate how personal things were shared with others and assumptions were created on top of it. This is how my trust was lost. Being a good person doesnt mean one isnt capable of moral mistakes. I am not askin for much but for some basic self-reflection. It increases reputation and trust too. Just sideadvice.
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I didnt appreciate how personal things were shared with others and assumptions were created on top of it. This is how my trust was lost. Being a good person doesnt mean one isnt capable of moral mistakes. I am not askin for much but for some basic self-reflection. It increases reputation and trust too. Just sideadvice.
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Sansabhu
My trust issues started from my parents. When I was younger, they always used to promise me to visit places or gift sth to me when I achieved sth but I never received what they promised. Yes, it might be so silly thing but it has been going on this way since very long, now I don't even have the excitement anymore
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My trust issues started from my parents. When I was younger, they always used to promise me to visit places or gift sth to me when I achieved sth but I never received what they promised. Yes, it might be so silly thing but it has been going on this way since very long, now I don't even have the excitement anymore
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Aya. B
For years now I have not trusted anyone. Last person I trusted was my mom who I don't trust anymore. I want to trust but I just can't. I feel bad for my friends who I don't care for as much as they do to me, but I just can't do it especially with the toxic culture of high-school. I don't even trust myself now.
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For years now I have not trusted anyone. Last person I trusted was my mom who I don't trust anymore. I want to trust but I just can't. I feel bad for my friends who I don't care for as much as they do to me, but I just can't do it especially with the toxic culture of high-school. I don't even trust myself now.
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psych2go
I have trust issuses bc i had a friend in my KINDERGARTEN! She was manipulating me and controling me. Now i have trust issuses and scared that i'm in a toxic relationship when i'm not. One time she grabed my neck and I couldnt breath. Now i have trust issues and trauma. I hate her, and i always will.
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I have trust issuses bc i had a friend in my KINDERGARTEN! She was manipulating me and controling me. Now i have trust issuses and scared that i'm in a toxic relationship when i'm not. One time she grabed my neck and I couldnt breath. Now i have trust issues and trauma. I hate her, and i always will.
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Bengie201
I have trust issues because of my verbally abusive ex. I was fine and I wish I never got into that relationship. The girl Im talking to is genuinely amazing, Ive taken her on a few dates and I think were gonna be official soon. But Im scared my paranoia is gonna ruin everything: (
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I have trust issues because of my verbally abusive ex. I was fine and I wish I never got into that relationship. The girl Im talking to is genuinely amazing, Ive taken her on a few dates and I think were gonna be official soon. But Im scared my paranoia is gonna ruin everything: (
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Isaac
I looked through her phone because she was hiding it and lying to me. But now we are in a situation where Im never allowed to look and I allow it to stay with her. She says it is an invasion of her privacy, but I would have never looked if she had not lied to me. Im so upset
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I looked through her phone because she was hiding it and lying to me. But now we are in a situation where Im never allowed to look and I allow it to stay with her. She says it is an invasion of her privacy, but I would have never looked if she had not lied to me. Im so upset
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10
My husband is in his 40s Snd he tells his mother and his 16 year old our problems. i feel like I can't trust my husband for nothing. If i want something he talks to 16 ss. and his mother about it i have 2 kids by him. what should I do my husband wont go to therapy with me.
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My husband is in his 40s Snd he tells his mother and his 16 year old our problems. i feel like I can't trust my husband for nothing. If i want something he talks to 16 ss. and his mother about it i have 2 kids by him. what should I do my husband wont go to therapy with me.
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xHosagix
I'm currently 5 days into a self-imposed isolation. I don't know what triggered it, although I'm sure it's based on a lack of trust of those around me. Thank you for this video, I have taken notes and will try to improve myself with some clear thoughts going forward.
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I'm currently 5 days into a self-imposed isolation. I don't know what triggered it, although I'm sure it's based on a lack of trust of those around me. Thank you for this video, I have taken notes and will try to improve myself with some clear thoughts going forward.
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burden
Ive been having trust issues with everyone around me including my partners. We broke up because of my trust issues. I overthink a lot and i suffer from anxiety too because of this problem. It kinda stress me out since i cant trust anyone to talk to
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Ive been having trust issues with everyone around me including my partners. We broke up because of my trust issues. I overthink a lot and i suffer from anxiety too because of this problem. It kinda stress me out since i cant trust anyone to talk to
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