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If Your Parents Are 50, You Need to Watch This. (B&W) [waiting on thumbnail]
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Date: 2025-06-20
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Comments and reviews: 20
MVioletique778
This video felt, kind of late, but I did watch Canto to Mando’s video about it
My 55 years old Mother when she already left the world, 1PM of June 13, leaving both me (I’m still a minor, sophomore year) and my siblings somewhat stuck, but not alone entirely thanks to her great siblings. Great as they helped her out with her admission to the hospital process. Before that time, me and my siblings were busy with other things apparently, even if we’re present since she’s by the bed of our living room, we didn’t talk much rather let her watch TV for Chinese dramas until we bring her to the hospital after knowing she’s sick. During those days, it’s supposedly meaningful’ knowing that during the week of her blood transfusion, Me and my brother would change shifts meaning we get to chat to our mother. But I feel he’s more helpful and realistic than I was, a detached and morally gray.
The only last good time I had with her was when we watched a movie together, giving her what she needed despite the doctor’s orders, and late night shifts when we brought her back home, talking about farm life in other countries or cultural food. Our way of communicating was a definition of small talk, but it’s also bilingual in a way as she speaks Filipino-Tagalog while I awnser back in English. The only worse time with her was when we didn’t know but knew she’ll die, she was struggling to breathe while I was very slow, pissed and reluctant of what’s going on.
Before being escorted out I looked at her eyes, its wide and helpless in contrast with dull look in my eyes, my mind knew its the last moment yet I kept my AirPods on, just listening to Flavor Foley’s Water the Roses as I fan her, trying to rid my tears as so. When help arrived and took my mother as my brother and three of her siblings joined to escort her, me and my sister had a gut churning feeling of something was wrong until my aunt called.
Wala na si Mommy.
I laughed at the news but it’s too obvious of the numbing regret I feel that I broke down, so does my sister but she cried the most since she never had time for her than me and partially my brother. Me and my sister were in gray terms after that, she’s angry I didn’t do anything but I accepted to early during that time to myself. Knowing it’s more joyous up in the heavens and pain will no longer prolong.
As of currently now, we remained in our ancestral home where my two aunts and cousin is present, I didn’t need to feel sad that she’s gone, I knew I can never change from my negligent behavior and attitude as I’ve been to disturbed of speaking my feelings to her when I want my burdens to be actually heard but never cut off
She’s in a better place, she doesn’t have to worry about me as I knew my place and identity in the world. Pasensya na po Ma at Salamat po sa pagpapalaki kami ng tama at matibay sa puso
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This video felt, kind of late, but I did watch Canto to Mando’s video about it
My 55 years old Mother when she already left the world, 1PM of June 13, leaving both me (I’m still a minor, sophomore year) and my siblings somewhat stuck, but not alone entirely thanks to her great siblings. Great as they helped her out with her admission to the hospital process. Before that time, me and my siblings were busy with other things apparently, even if we’re present since she’s by the bed of our living room, we didn’t talk much rather let her watch TV for Chinese dramas until we bring her to the hospital after knowing she’s sick. During those days, it’s supposedly meaningful’ knowing that during the week of her blood transfusion, Me and my brother would change shifts meaning we get to chat to our mother. But I feel he’s more helpful and realistic than I was, a detached and morally gray.
The only last good time I had with her was when we watched a movie together, giving her what she needed despite the doctor’s orders, and late night shifts when we brought her back home, talking about farm life in other countries or cultural food. Our way of communicating was a definition of small talk, but it’s also bilingual in a way as she speaks Filipino-Tagalog while I awnser back in English. The only worse time with her was when we didn’t know but knew she’ll die, she was struggling to breathe while I was very slow, pissed and reluctant of what’s going on.
Before being escorted out I looked at her eyes, its wide and helpless in contrast with dull look in my eyes, my mind knew its the last moment yet I kept my AirPods on, just listening to Flavor Foley’s Water the Roses as I fan her, trying to rid my tears as so. When help arrived and took my mother as my brother and three of her siblings joined to escort her, me and my sister had a gut churning feeling of something was wrong until my aunt called.
Wala na si Mommy.
I laughed at the news but it’s too obvious of the numbing regret I feel that I broke down, so does my sister but she cried the most since she never had time for her than me and partially my brother. Me and my sister were in gray terms after that, she’s angry I didn’t do anything but I accepted to early during that time to myself. Knowing it’s more joyous up in the heavens and pain will no longer prolong.
As of currently now, we remained in our ancestral home where my two aunts and cousin is present, I didn’t need to feel sad that she’s gone, I knew I can never change from my negligent behavior and attitude as I’ve been to disturbed of speaking my feelings to her when I want my burdens to be actually heard but never cut off
She’s in a better place, she doesn’t have to worry about me as I knew my place and identity in the world. Pasensya na po Ma at Salamat po sa pagpapalaki kami ng tama at matibay sa puso
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TubeDeviant
A bit difficult for me.
I lost my grandfather (mother's father) when I was 6 years old (iirc, my grandmother (mother's mother) at 12 years, my other grandmother at 14 years old. I never really got to have any meaningful conversations with them. I lost my other grandfather much later in life, but I lost contact with him over something that happened before my grandmother passed away. In essence, I never had any meaningful conversations with any of them. I never had my father in my life, so that isn't going to happen in this lifetime.
Then there's my mother. I've lived with my mother my entire life, her being a single mother. It was tough so we never really communicated well. Where do I even begin. I was born out of wedlock and my mother made sure that I was aware of that. There was verbal and emotional abuse that went both ways, so our mother/son relationship started to deteriorate after I was 7-8 years old. Eventually, the best thing was to communicate less, so that there was some semblance of peace. cause you don't argue about things if you don't communicate. Dysfunctional would be the word. Till this day, we still can't communicate. I have tried, but she stonewalls. I know there's unresolved trauma in her life, but she. stonewalls. I'm afraid I'll never really know what those traumas are, who she was before I was born, what her actual dreams were, and everything else about her. Currently, she has a preliminary diagnosis of Alzheimer's and has obvious problems with her memory. sigh. Life just throwing whatever it can at us right now. Of course, it can ALWAYS be worse, but there are a lot of things that have happened that I haven't touched upon. At this point, it's just. sad.
Because of her unresolved traumas, her bad financial decisions, we've both been screwed in life. So, it's difficult to communicate about meaningful and relevant topics to learn about each other. Therapy would probably help, but she would NEVER go. In essence, it feels hopeless and I feel helpless.
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A bit difficult for me.
I lost my grandfather (mother's father) when I was 6 years old (iirc, my grandmother (mother's mother) at 12 years, my other grandmother at 14 years old. I never really got to have any meaningful conversations with them. I lost my other grandfather much later in life, but I lost contact with him over something that happened before my grandmother passed away. In essence, I never had any meaningful conversations with any of them. I never had my father in my life, so that isn't going to happen in this lifetime.
Then there's my mother. I've lived with my mother my entire life, her being a single mother. It was tough so we never really communicated well. Where do I even begin. I was born out of wedlock and my mother made sure that I was aware of that. There was verbal and emotional abuse that went both ways, so our mother/son relationship started to deteriorate after I was 7-8 years old. Eventually, the best thing was to communicate less, so that there was some semblance of peace. cause you don't argue about things if you don't communicate. Dysfunctional would be the word. Till this day, we still can't communicate. I have tried, but she stonewalls. I know there's unresolved trauma in her life, but she. stonewalls. I'm afraid I'll never really know what those traumas are, who she was before I was born, what her actual dreams were, and everything else about her. Currently, she has a preliminary diagnosis of Alzheimer's and has obvious problems with her memory. sigh. Life just throwing whatever it can at us right now. Of course, it can ALWAYS be worse, but there are a lot of things that have happened that I haven't touched upon. At this point, it's just. sad.
Because of her unresolved traumas, her bad financial decisions, we've both been screwed in life. So, it's difficult to communicate about meaningful and relevant topics to learn about each other. Therapy would probably help, but she would NEVER go. In essence, it feels hopeless and I feel helpless.
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FurbYhouse24
Social isolation comes from them self and culture altitude! UK elderies do not want burden others. Or village their youngsters left to city. - Mainland of EU is more harsh. Its not an acception, if they have children after 5 years or more found lifeless. Or had children there is nobody at funeral. There is loneliness normally ( despite your elder parents ) My Biological father is gone. Pure Evil in deguist but at his grave forgive him ' Im sitting in his inheritance nobody wants. At is funeral he was if usually all alone. Heartbreaking. Hope/ pray others didn't endure same faith if me.
He had already ( to others ) detained social isolated family ( part of Low-SES parents) Family we didn't grew up. Also they looks not existing.
Was muted down eyewitness. Understand this behaviour was not normal. Pay for his behaviour towards me. Using me if schield, shift blaming etc, Im aware that Im lonely but its for my best. ( Have to protect me ) Hope if I'm out here, it changes.
We had bad luck this country have service, help, care etc. based on luck.
If we had care he wasn't not only lonely elder so called father. There was something wrong with him. It hurts & injustice and this should not be happened. Suffering in silence. Why
Also he was older parent he should know more about the life. They say your wisedom grew matter time.
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Social isolation comes from them self and culture altitude! UK elderies do not want burden others. Or village their youngsters left to city. - Mainland of EU is more harsh. Its not an acception, if they have children after 5 years or more found lifeless. Or had children there is nobody at funeral. There is loneliness normally ( despite your elder parents ) My Biological father is gone. Pure Evil in deguist but at his grave forgive him ' Im sitting in his inheritance nobody wants. At is funeral he was if usually all alone. Heartbreaking. Hope/ pray others didn't endure same faith if me.
He had already ( to others ) detained social isolated family ( part of Low-SES parents) Family we didn't grew up. Also they looks not existing.
Was muted down eyewitness. Understand this behaviour was not normal. Pay for his behaviour towards me. Using me if schield, shift blaming etc, Im aware that Im lonely but its for my best. ( Have to protect me ) Hope if I'm out here, it changes.
We had bad luck this country have service, help, care etc. based on luck.
If we had care he wasn't not only lonely elder so called father. There was something wrong with him. It hurts & injustice and this should not be happened. Suffering in silence. Why
Also he was older parent he should know more about the life. They say your wisedom grew matter time.
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advancedgames2534
Hello guys I need help
So I've just got into a relationship with this girl, and she's lovely and we love each other alot, now we are in the second week of our relationship and I noticed that she's starting to distance herself and sometimes not telling if she's having a problem so I must try my best to notice, while I stayed the same she's starting to distance and I dont really know the sweet talk and etc is starting to fade from her side and she's starting to distance herself (forgot to mention it's a long distance relationship but not so far) Soo I need help to know if the problem is from her side or from my side, we trust each other alot but idrk if I did something wrong I want advice on how to keep this relationship strong till marriage (and yes we s
Keep talking about plans after marriage I think this is good or smth) and in addition she's starting to sometimes ignore my messages and etc, I started noticing this after I told her that I'm scared of losing her and I don't want to breakup with her then she started like saying that I don't belive in her and etc but I said this because I had bad past with trust and betrayals I need reassurance but she rarely ever gives it
Sorry if the information aren't organized well and waiting for you answers and thank you again: )
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Hello guys I need help
So I've just got into a relationship with this girl, and she's lovely and we love each other alot, now we are in the second week of our relationship and I noticed that she's starting to distance herself and sometimes not telling if she's having a problem so I must try my best to notice, while I stayed the same she's starting to distance and I dont really know the sweet talk and etc is starting to fade from her side and she's starting to distance herself (forgot to mention it's a long distance relationship but not so far) Soo I need help to know if the problem is from her side or from my side, we trust each other alot but idrk if I did something wrong I want advice on how to keep this relationship strong till marriage (and yes we s
Keep talking about plans after marriage I think this is good or smth) and in addition she's starting to sometimes ignore my messages and etc, I started noticing this after I told her that I'm scared of losing her and I don't want to breakup with her then she started like saying that I don't belive in her and etc but I said this because I had bad past with trust and betrayals I need reassurance but she rarely ever gives it
Sorry if the information aren't organized well and waiting for you answers and thank you again: )
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gravyz2cute4u
My dad passed away when I was 19 because he was sick and quite old. My parents speak English at home because they both have different native languages. It was difficult for my dad to express himself in English. I did not really know much about him or his family outside of the stories he used to tell us because he didn't really speak to his family often and most of them remained overseas. I didn't get to do much travel with him due to his health, however before I was born he travelled to many countries. I wonder what stories he would have had about all the places he visited. I'm going to Europe this year with my mum and my aunty as they have always wanted to go to Europe. So I decided, might as well go while they are still able to walk unassisted and still have their health! After this trip, I want to bring them on a tour of Canada and Alaska, then maybe after that we can go on our Japan and Korea trip we were supposed to have went on in 2020. I hope we can all enjoy it while they are still physically able! I also like those journals that you can buy now, the ones that are titled: Grandma/Grandpa tell me about your life and the purpose is to either have them complete the prompts and gift it back to you, or you can ask them and fill it in together. I think that's really sweet!
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My dad passed away when I was 19 because he was sick and quite old. My parents speak English at home because they both have different native languages. It was difficult for my dad to express himself in English. I did not really know much about him or his family outside of the stories he used to tell us because he didn't really speak to his family often and most of them remained overseas. I didn't get to do much travel with him due to his health, however before I was born he travelled to many countries. I wonder what stories he would have had about all the places he visited. I'm going to Europe this year with my mum and my aunty as they have always wanted to go to Europe. So I decided, might as well go while they are still able to walk unassisted and still have their health! After this trip, I want to bring them on a tour of Canada and Alaska, then maybe after that we can go on our Japan and Korea trip we were supposed to have went on in 2020. I hope we can all enjoy it while they are still physically able! I also like those journals that you can buy now, the ones that are titled: Grandma/Grandpa tell me about your life and the purpose is to either have them complete the prompts and gift it back to you, or you can ask them and fill it in together. I think that's really sweet!
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DeannaNewton-d7x
My dad is 65 and my mom is 63. My grandmother (dad's mom) is 86 and has been living with us since I was 3 months old. I thought it was normal that grandparents would take care of us because both of our parents would work and our grandmother would pick us up from school. She would also take us to places for shopping and going out to eat. Our grandma (mom's mom) took care of our cousins since she lives across the street from them and all of us were really close to her. When grandma died I was crying a lot because it was 20 years after papa (mom's dad) died and that was when I started to latch on my family more. I didn't even care about having a social life if it meant that I can spend more time with my family, but when my grandma died I freaked out because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get recipes from her. So I asked my grandmother to give me some of her cookbooks in case she leaves us because I was really scared that it would happen. At the same time my parents want me to live my life and not have to do things with the family all the time as well as socialize more with people outside of my family, which is scary to me. I understand what they meant because they've lived their lives and want us to live our lives, I just want them to still be apart of my life.
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My dad is 65 and my mom is 63. My grandmother (dad's mom) is 86 and has been living with us since I was 3 months old. I thought it was normal that grandparents would take care of us because both of our parents would work and our grandmother would pick us up from school. She would also take us to places for shopping and going out to eat. Our grandma (mom's mom) took care of our cousins since she lives across the street from them and all of us were really close to her. When grandma died I was crying a lot because it was 20 years after papa (mom's dad) died and that was when I started to latch on my family more. I didn't even care about having a social life if it meant that I can spend more time with my family, but when my grandma died I freaked out because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get recipes from her. So I asked my grandmother to give me some of her cookbooks in case she leaves us because I was really scared that it would happen. At the same time my parents want me to live my life and not have to do things with the family all the time as well as socialize more with people outside of my family, which is scary to me. I understand what they meant because they've lived their lives and want us to live our lives, I just want them to still be apart of my life.
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pacoliebling
My grandma passed away in September 2023, after fighting leukemia for one and a half years. It was a weird situation. My grandpa had passed away two years prior, and it really broke her at first. But then we started spending time a lot again, and in her final week, my parents were on vacation, I'd take my unicycle and guitar and come up to her every day. She couldn't hear the middle tones, so my main instrument piano was more noise to her than music. But the guitar, with both higher and lower notes forming a chord, actually gave her a chance to enjoy music, because it didn't hurt in her ears as much. In that last week, she learned I was much more independent than my parents let on, and I think that made her realize I'll be able to live without her. Either way, my uncle's birthday was only 9 days away from her death day, yet she still tried to convince the doctors to somehow keep her living until the 30th of November, my 18th birthday that year. She didn't make it, but that gesture meant so much to me. I got her iPad, and because of a bug, when I created my Apple ID, her old profile pic was used as mine. Still keeping it though. It's a sweet memory.
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My grandma passed away in September 2023, after fighting leukemia for one and a half years. It was a weird situation. My grandpa had passed away two years prior, and it really broke her at first. But then we started spending time a lot again, and in her final week, my parents were on vacation, I'd take my unicycle and guitar and come up to her every day. She couldn't hear the middle tones, so my main instrument piano was more noise to her than music. But the guitar, with both higher and lower notes forming a chord, actually gave her a chance to enjoy music, because it didn't hurt in her ears as much. In that last week, she learned I was much more independent than my parents let on, and I think that made her realize I'll be able to live without her. Either way, my uncle's birthday was only 9 days away from her death day, yet she still tried to convince the doctors to somehow keep her living until the 30th of November, my 18th birthday that year. She didn't make it, but that gesture meant so much to me. I got her iPad, and because of a bug, when I created my Apple ID, her old profile pic was used as mine. Still keeping it though. It's a sweet memory.
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N192K001
Unfortunately for me, I never really had the chance to spend time with my grandparents after we moved from Asia. They died just months or years later. (My last & final grandparent passed-on at about 80 around a decade later. I only saw her 2x, for less than 3 hr. 's each total) So many questions I as an adult wanted to ask, but the schedule of the rare, expensive trips were pre-decided by my parents, who had so many things they wanted accomplished before the flight back home. (sigh) If duties, money, and physical-distance weren't limiting issues
But with my parents (in their 60's, this mistake won't be repeated. My adult siblings & I live with them, so interactions, chatting, clashing occationally, and savoring time together happens naturally. In a sense, it's like the ideal childhood family-life we should have had if we weren't so immature back then. But as adults now (esp. in the independence-emphasizing West, the pros are not without its counter-part cons. Still, it's pretty nice. Our time together is not unlimited.
We should savor our time with loved-ones while it can still be done.
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Unfortunately for me, I never really had the chance to spend time with my grandparents after we moved from Asia. They died just months or years later. (My last & final grandparent passed-on at about 80 around a decade later. I only saw her 2x, for less than 3 hr. 's each total) So many questions I as an adult wanted to ask, but the schedule of the rare, expensive trips were pre-decided by my parents, who had so many things they wanted accomplished before the flight back home. (sigh) If duties, money, and physical-distance weren't limiting issues
But with my parents (in their 60's, this mistake won't be repeated. My adult siblings & I live with them, so interactions, chatting, clashing occationally, and savoring time together happens naturally. In a sense, it's like the ideal childhood family-life we should have had if we weren't so immature back then. But as adults now (esp. in the independence-emphasizing West, the pros are not without its counter-part cons. Still, it's pretty nice. Our time together is not unlimited.
We should savor our time with loved-ones while it can still be done.
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Juuchan17
I connect more with my mom & we do a lot together to connect. We are very close & I enjoy hearing about her past and how different times were back in the 1960s/70s with African-Americans.
However, every time I try to connect with my dad, he just seems like he really doesn't want to connect with me at all, even when I do reach out to hang out with him. His mother - my last grandma, who passed a couple years ago - was not someone I could connect with during the later years of her life, even though she lived up the driveway from me, so I really never connected with much of that side of my family. and I was seen as lesser in comparison to my aunts' children & grandchildren, who were showered with praise & love. When my granny passed, I tearfully regretted not spending more time with her, even if she judged what I liked or what clothes I wore. but a part of me still feels like I made the right choice for my own mental sake (because it's not cool to be talked down upon by family. and they don't want to help you.
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I connect more with my mom & we do a lot together to connect. We are very close & I enjoy hearing about her past and how different times were back in the 1960s/70s with African-Americans.
However, every time I try to connect with my dad, he just seems like he really doesn't want to connect with me at all, even when I do reach out to hang out with him. His mother - my last grandma, who passed a couple years ago - was not someone I could connect with during the later years of her life, even though she lived up the driveway from me, so I really never connected with much of that side of my family. and I was seen as lesser in comparison to my aunts' children & grandchildren, who were showered with praise & love. When my granny passed, I tearfully regretted not spending more time with her, even if she judged what I liked or what clothes I wore. but a part of me still feels like I made the right choice for my own mental sake (because it's not cool to be talked down upon by family. and they don't want to help you.
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juliabrnssr
Wasn't really sure what to expect with this title, but figured it would be important. Now I'm reminded how cold I am when it comes to the end. I never knew my Grandpa on my Dad's side. One of my earliest memories was going to my Grandma's Funeral on my Dad's side. Haven't spoken to my Mother's side Grandparents in over 10 years. During that time my Grandpa passed, with my Grandmother mentally being underground after he passed. As for my Mother, I got just about all the stories I need out of her. As for my Dad, it would be easier to learn the Olmec language than learning about his Childhood. Occasionally I get little snippets here and there, but a lot is going to pass with him. As for the end, my Mother is looking forward to it, and I think my Dad will forever be a wondering spirit. He will always have unfinished business. When that time comes, I will miss the financial stability they can supply, as well as my Dad's handyman skills.
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Wasn't really sure what to expect with this title, but figured it would be important. Now I'm reminded how cold I am when it comes to the end. I never knew my Grandpa on my Dad's side. One of my earliest memories was going to my Grandma's Funeral on my Dad's side. Haven't spoken to my Mother's side Grandparents in over 10 years. During that time my Grandpa passed, with my Grandmother mentally being underground after he passed. As for my Mother, I got just about all the stories I need out of her. As for my Dad, it would be easier to learn the Olmec language than learning about his Childhood. Occasionally I get little snippets here and there, but a lot is going to pass with him. As for the end, my Mother is looking forward to it, and I think my Dad will forever be a wondering spirit. He will always have unfinished business. When that time comes, I will miss the financial stability they can supply, as well as my Dad's handyman skills.
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adamwarlock2099
Parents over 50 Ugh I am almost 50 myself. I never got close to any of my grandparents, really. Though both my mother's parents died from colon cancer when I was very young. My parents are in a different geographical location than I am. In the past between raising our own children and my parents aging it was difficult for us to see each other in person regularly. Now our boys are both adults and my parents are in their mid 70's now. I call them as regularly as I can and we talk. About their past and sometimes my future. I do regret that I did not get close to my grandmother (my paternal grandfather died when I was young too) as adult when I had the chance. And now she is gone. Young folks don't wait till your mid-life to start thinking about the mortality of human life. Take the chances you have now. As you never know what cruel fate life may have in store for someone you love dearly.
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Parents over 50 Ugh I am almost 50 myself. I never got close to any of my grandparents, really. Though both my mother's parents died from colon cancer when I was very young. My parents are in a different geographical location than I am. In the past between raising our own children and my parents aging it was difficult for us to see each other in person regularly. Now our boys are both adults and my parents are in their mid 70's now. I call them as regularly as I can and we talk. About their past and sometimes my future. I do regret that I did not get close to my grandmother (my paternal grandfather died when I was young too) as adult when I had the chance. And now she is gone. Young folks don't wait till your mid-life to start thinking about the mortality of human life. Take the chances you have now. As you never know what cruel fate life may have in store for someone you love dearly.
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Danred_100
My mom divorced my dad on december of 2024, they had very disturbed relationship since, basically forever.
After seeing the comments, i felt a bit attacked honestly, because, from my perspective, people are telling me to love the person that basically ruined my life.
I'm 16, turn 17 this year, and i barely remember anything past when i was 10, and 10 is already a stretch, 14 is more like it. Trauma can cause memory loss, and well, if you're a child and your dad explodes in anger, throws things at all and yells at your mother EVERY WEEK FOR YEARS, I'm pretty sure that it's gonna mess with your head right
People are telling me to love the person who stole my childhood from me, the person who i saw yell at the most loving person i know every week of my life. How am i supposed to show love to them if i honestly didn't love them at all in the first place
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My mom divorced my dad on december of 2024, they had very disturbed relationship since, basically forever.
After seeing the comments, i felt a bit attacked honestly, because, from my perspective, people are telling me to love the person that basically ruined my life.
I'm 16, turn 17 this year, and i barely remember anything past when i was 10, and 10 is already a stretch, 14 is more like it. Trauma can cause memory loss, and well, if you're a child and your dad explodes in anger, throws things at all and yells at your mother EVERY WEEK FOR YEARS, I'm pretty sure that it's gonna mess with your head right
People are telling me to love the person who stole my childhood from me, the person who i saw yell at the most loving person i know every week of my life. How am i supposed to show love to them if i honestly didn't love them at all in the first place
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heathm. h4490
I connect with my family by talking.
have routinely hour-long conversations with my mother every few days, and we have more frequent, shorter ones throughout each day. It tends to lean towards me yapping about my life, and her listening --- even when I do ask about her day at work, her answers tend to be short and trail off quickly. But this seems to be a good habit we've built regardless.
My dad has to work so much that he is rarely home, and he isn't a talker. We have nice conversations when he drives me somewhere, though, and that is when we somewhat connect.
Most of the time, it feels like I am already well-connected with my family since we also have a groupchat (including my older brother. Yet, sometimes it feels like there is still a gap to be bridged between us. It's really weird.
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I connect with my family by talking.
have routinely hour-long conversations with my mother every few days, and we have more frequent, shorter ones throughout each day. It tends to lean towards me yapping about my life, and her listening --- even when I do ask about her day at work, her answers tend to be short and trail off quickly. But this seems to be a good habit we've built regardless.
My dad has to work so much that he is rarely home, and he isn't a talker. We have nice conversations when he drives me somewhere, though, and that is when we somewhat connect.
Most of the time, it feels like I am already well-connected with my family since we also have a groupchat (including my older brother. Yet, sometimes it feels like there is still a gap to be bridged between us. It's really weird.
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jeanas55
I met my great grandmother when I was very young. I moved to France to make memories with my grandmother. She's 93 now and I often ask her to tall about her childhood and sometimes I just let her talk even if she repeats a lot. I often take my now 5 year old son with me. So he has memories of her. Even if he doesn't engage with her much. She saw him when he was 3m old when she still had her eyesight. I'm grateful for that. Now my son will often help me put lotion on her skin. If that's the only connection he has with his great-grandmother that's alright. And she gets visits almost everyday as her health is deteriorating. She has a saying. You have to work to have luck. And she has worked hard. And as I'm getting older I am realising that it's true. You have to work for your happiness.
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I met my great grandmother when I was very young. I moved to France to make memories with my grandmother. She's 93 now and I often ask her to tall about her childhood and sometimes I just let her talk even if she repeats a lot. I often take my now 5 year old son with me. So he has memories of her. Even if he doesn't engage with her much. She saw him when he was 3m old when she still had her eyesight. I'm grateful for that. Now my son will often help me put lotion on her skin. If that's the only connection he has with his great-grandmother that's alright. And she gets visits almost everyday as her health is deteriorating. She has a saying. You have to work to have luck. And she has worked hard. And as I'm getting older I am realising that it's true. You have to work for your happiness.
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suzanmeeks
I'm 60 and this all rings true. Thank you, Amanda, for sharing your experience with us. I was blessed to have all of my grandparents into adulthood. My biggest regret with them was not getting info about their parents, grandparents, and extended families. They talked about their childhoods to a degree, but grew up with the belief that you shouldn't talk about the deceased. I became very interested in genealogy about 25 years ago and wish I had pressed them for more details. Never take time for granted.
Edit: I also wish I'd had them go through old photos and identify people. After my grandparents died, there were a lot of old pics from the late 1800s and early 1900s that I'd never seen before. Some people I could ID, but not most. Those are my ancestors!
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I'm 60 and this all rings true. Thank you, Amanda, for sharing your experience with us. I was blessed to have all of my grandparents into adulthood. My biggest regret with them was not getting info about their parents, grandparents, and extended families. They talked about their childhoods to a degree, but grew up with the belief that you shouldn't talk about the deceased. I became very interested in genealogy about 25 years ago and wish I had pressed them for more details. Never take time for granted.
Edit: I also wish I'd had them go through old photos and identify people. After my grandparents died, there were a lot of old pics from the late 1800s and early 1900s that I'd never seen before. Some people I could ID, but not most. Those are my ancestors!
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tabitha. shipley
My momma's 57 and my dad's 67. I just got my dad in my life in February, and I don't think I'll ever have enough time with him My momma's had 3 strokes and is now in a nursing home, unable to walk anymore, and has lost some good amount of vision in her left eye. (All three strokes affected the right side of her brain, so the left side of her body if my. biology. is right, so she can't feel anyont touching her left arm or leg, and her left hand is probably permanently closed. I'm worried she'll go in the next few years, but my friends, brother, and father think she's still got some more good years on her, and that she's strong. My momma is strong, but I'm worried. She's a heavy smoker, too. When my momma's gone. I don't think I'll ever be the same.
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My momma's 57 and my dad's 67. I just got my dad in my life in February, and I don't think I'll ever have enough time with him My momma's had 3 strokes and is now in a nursing home, unable to walk anymore, and has lost some good amount of vision in her left eye. (All three strokes affected the right side of her brain, so the left side of her body if my. biology. is right, so she can't feel anyont touching her left arm or leg, and her left hand is probably permanently closed. I'm worried she'll go in the next few years, but my friends, brother, and father think she's still got some more good years on her, and that she's strong. My momma is strong, but I'm worried. She's a heavy smoker, too. When my momma's gone. I don't think I'll ever be the same.
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NarrativeCorner110
This is a great summary of the reciprocal nature of intergenerational connection. As a researcher in this area, the points about family support significantly boosting emotional and cognitive health are spot-on. The concept of these small interactions acting as emotional lifelines is a perfect, non-clinical way to describe their profound impact on psychosocial well-being.
On a personal note, I started asking my father about his life before I was born, just to record his stories. I thought it was a gift for him, but I quickly realized the one receiving the most profound sense of connection and healing was me. The two-way healing you describe is not just a theory; it's a deeply felt reality. Thank you for presenting this so clearly
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This is a great summary of the reciprocal nature of intergenerational connection. As a researcher in this area, the points about family support significantly boosting emotional and cognitive health are spot-on. The concept of these small interactions acting as emotional lifelines is a perfect, non-clinical way to describe their profound impact on psychosocial well-being.
On a personal note, I started asking my father about his life before I was born, just to record his stories. I thought it was a gift for him, but I quickly realized the one receiving the most profound sense of connection and healing was me. The two-way healing you describe is not just a theory; it's a deeply felt reality. Thank you for presenting this so clearly
reply
aklisarahoui6068
I'm 22 bith of my parents are still alive and i'm reallt gratefull for that both are 61 and i have issues with my father though i understand his past his fears his traumas and i try to be there for him i even found the strength in ly heart to forgive him but we don't really have conversations at least deep ones cause i never really saw his as someone to talk to though i'm gratefull for what he has ever done to and my mother was the emotional one tbe one with who i get to speak my heart out a d the one with whom i have deep conversations about her past her dreams so i'm trying to ask as many questions as i can about her her family and even about my father i don't want to regret a single thing
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I'm 22 bith of my parents are still alive and i'm reallt gratefull for that both are 61 and i have issues with my father though i understand his past his fears his traumas and i try to be there for him i even found the strength in ly heart to forgive him but we don't really have conversations at least deep ones cause i never really saw his as someone to talk to though i'm gratefull for what he has ever done to and my mother was the emotional one tbe one with who i get to speak my heart out a d the one with whom i have deep conversations about her past her dreams so i'm trying to ask as many questions as i can about her her family and even about my father i don't want to regret a single thing
reply
aklisarahoui6068
I'm 22 bith of my parents are still alive and i'm reallt gratefull for that both are 61 and i have issues with my father though i understand his past his fears his traumas and i try to be there for him i even found the strength in ly heart to forgive him but we don't really have conversations at least deep ones cause i never really saw his as someone to talk to though i'm gratefull for what he has ever done to and my mother was the emotional one tbe one with who i get to speak my heart out a d the one with whom i have deep conversations about her past her dreams so i'm trying to ask as many questions as i can about her her family and even about my father i don't want to regret a single thing
reply
I'm 22 bith of my parents are still alive and i'm reallt gratefull for that both are 61 and i have issues with my father though i understand his past his fears his traumas and i try to be there for him i even found the strength in ly heart to forgive him but we don't really have conversations at least deep ones cause i never really saw his as someone to talk to though i'm gratefull for what he has ever done to and my mother was the emotional one tbe one with who i get to speak my heart out a d the one with whom i have deep conversations about her past her dreams so i'm trying to ask as many questions as i can about her her family and even about my father i don't want to regret a single thing
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psych2go
What i feel is that im one of the few people here who actually do know about their parents childhood and how they live life,
Reason: They trauma dumped on me since I was in the 6th Grade (mother, father (9th grade.
Im 20 M, all im gonna say is When it comes to story I know at least all they have wanted to tell me, life lessons yes They told me,
Realisation: But now i have an actual reason to tell my siblings why im trying to learn my native language,
Also that Yes one day they won't be there so always make time for them, dont sacrifice your own life, but make time for them, at your own pace, its for you, for you to be the bigger person and for you find peace.
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What i feel is that im one of the few people here who actually do know about their parents childhood and how they live life,
Reason: They trauma dumped on me since I was in the 6th Grade (mother, father (9th grade.
Im 20 M, all im gonna say is When it comes to story I know at least all they have wanted to tell me, life lessons yes They told me,
Realisation: But now i have an actual reason to tell my siblings why im trying to learn my native language,
Also that Yes one day they won't be there so always make time for them, dont sacrifice your own life, but make time for them, at your own pace, its for you, for you to be the bigger person and for you find peace.
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