Uncovering the Secrets of Manipulation: A Crash Course
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
GamingWithADog
Unfortunately, I realized too late that my manipulator was my significant other, whom I'd done everything I could do to please for 5 years. But nothing was ever enough, they just wanted more and more from me without giving me hardly anything in return. And I was somehow the problem for everything in their life.
I'd done so much for them, and they would repay it with gaslighting, belittlement, negativity, and uncaringness. I'd completely lost my confidence and sense of self. Any sort of pushback, even advice in this video, I had used and none of it helped. It was their way or the highway. It made me feel like I was worthless. This person was also my first relationship, so I thought this sort of thing might be normal.
And even with all of my capitulation, I was kicked out of their house, in less than a week, without even a chance to find a new job. And they think all of their actions are rational and reasonable. I know I may be biased, because I can only speak from my perspective, but I fear this experience has caused some sort of trauma that will be hard for me to get over.
Although I thank you for your videos, I think it's helped me recognize some mistakes I've made, and could have avoided.
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Unfortunately, I realized too late that my manipulator was my significant other, whom I'd done everything I could do to please for 5 years. But nothing was ever enough, they just wanted more and more from me without giving me hardly anything in return. And I was somehow the problem for everything in their life.
I'd done so much for them, and they would repay it with gaslighting, belittlement, negativity, and uncaringness. I'd completely lost my confidence and sense of self. Any sort of pushback, even advice in this video, I had used and none of it helped. It was their way or the highway. It made me feel like I was worthless. This person was also my first relationship, so I thought this sort of thing might be normal.
And even with all of my capitulation, I was kicked out of their house, in less than a week, without even a chance to find a new job. And they think all of their actions are rational and reasonable. I know I may be biased, because I can only speak from my perspective, but I fear this experience has caused some sort of trauma that will be hard for me to get over.
Although I thank you for your videos, I think it's helped me recognize some mistakes I've made, and could have avoided.
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truhhhhhhhokIII3
There are at least 45 alyssa tolentinos in this worldbut maaaaan one of them in this world is definitely a pro manipulator
Every single thing was spot on, had my brain in such a whirlwind and she loved it, as soon as i stood up for my boundaries (that she was disregarding for months despite numerous talks about them) she goes and grinds on some dudes at a club, and 2-3 days later she fully ghosted me after 2 years, and it hurt so muchbut i realize just 6 months later how much better my life is now without her sociopathic tendencies, she was making me so dependent on her, yet now i finally can be myself and enjoy life again.
Dont give up hope! If all of these signs are here, stand up for yourself and see how they take it. With haste, gaslighting and subtle jabs later, or understanding and healthy compromise. It will give you your answer to go or stay!
P. S. yeah i put her on blast, its therapy, she wont read this and nobody knows her anyways.
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There are at least 45 alyssa tolentinos in this worldbut maaaaan one of them in this world is definitely a pro manipulator
Every single thing was spot on, had my brain in such a whirlwind and she loved it, as soon as i stood up for my boundaries (that she was disregarding for months despite numerous talks about them) she goes and grinds on some dudes at a club, and 2-3 days later she fully ghosted me after 2 years, and it hurt so muchbut i realize just 6 months later how much better my life is now without her sociopathic tendencies, she was making me so dependent on her, yet now i finally can be myself and enjoy life again.
Dont give up hope! If all of these signs are here, stand up for yourself and see how they take it. With haste, gaslighting and subtle jabs later, or understanding and healthy compromise. It will give you your answer to go or stay!
P. S. yeah i put her on blast, its therapy, she wont read this and nobody knows her anyways.
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Montacap
I have been a care giver since I was like 10 when I started caring for my grandfather who has polio. Then came mom and dads divorce which dad wanted no visitations of me in. So I cared for moms mental issues that happened at 14. Then I had my first kid at a few months into 17 next one at 19 both bio dads left so I was the kids care giver as a kid that was stunted by abuse. Then I got married and ended up his care giver. In all this care giving to everyone else I never got to care for the one person I could not ever run from. ME. I watch these videos not to spot these things only in others but myself more. Life is so messy y'all we are still alive be proud of that because being a old dog in a new dogs world is nothing to kick out of bed. It's important because older is not the new young it's the next episode but this time around we have a few more choices of toys let's play.
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I have been a care giver since I was like 10 when I started caring for my grandfather who has polio. Then came mom and dads divorce which dad wanted no visitations of me in. So I cared for moms mental issues that happened at 14. Then I had my first kid at a few months into 17 next one at 19 both bio dads left so I was the kids care giver as a kid that was stunted by abuse. Then I got married and ended up his care giver. In all this care giving to everyone else I never got to care for the one person I could not ever run from. ME. I watch these videos not to spot these things only in others but myself more. Life is so messy y'all we are still alive be proud of that because being a old dog in a new dogs world is nothing to kick out of bed. It's important because older is not the new young it's the next episode but this time around we have a few more choices of toys let's play.
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nati
3: 43 I found out that im a people-pleaser i watched videos about it and i can relate to it. It's from a trauma what my classmates cause me and my twin sister used to be bullied(a lot and not only by classmates) and whenever they ask me to give them the answers of the math homework i can't say no, but i will try bc i got enough of my bully because it's very clear now that she just use me and my sister bc she only talk whit us when she need homework and she started to bully that one kid in my class that doesn't bully me and my sis and is our only friend. I will try to say no and stand up for my self my sister and that one nice kid!
I wanted to ask if I don't have enough self-confidence, could that also be one of the reasons why I have 'people-pleasing'?
The video was very good!
P. S.: if i write something wrong correct me (English is not my first language.
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3: 43 I found out that im a people-pleaser i watched videos about it and i can relate to it. It's from a trauma what my classmates cause me and my twin sister used to be bullied(a lot and not only by classmates) and whenever they ask me to give them the answers of the math homework i can't say no, but i will try bc i got enough of my bully because it's very clear now that she just use me and my sister bc she only talk whit us when she need homework and she started to bully that one kid in my class that doesn't bully me and my sis and is our only friend. I will try to say no and stand up for my self my sister and that one nice kid!
I wanted to ask if I don't have enough self-confidence, could that also be one of the reasons why I have 'people-pleasing'?
The video was very good!
P. S.: if i write something wrong correct me (English is not my first language.
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Cornelia
This video speaks very broadly and refers to some things as manipulation tactics when it is not. As a non confrontational person I might use what seems to be passive-aggressive phrases. That does not mean that I'm trying to manipulate you. I'm trying to bring something to your attention and hopefully you are a decent enough person to recognize that you are creating an issue. I in fact think that you are using/manipulating me by not doing the dishes because you know I'm a non confrontational person.
Silent treatment - so my reaction to withdraw from you because I'm being treated badly ate now going to be pinned on me as being the manipulator?
Care should be taken in using broad statements because each action should be viewed in the context of the applicable situation, because the actual victim of manipulation seems to be the manipulator in this video.
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This video speaks very broadly and refers to some things as manipulation tactics when it is not. As a non confrontational person I might use what seems to be passive-aggressive phrases. That does not mean that I'm trying to manipulate you. I'm trying to bring something to your attention and hopefully you are a decent enough person to recognize that you are creating an issue. I in fact think that you are using/manipulating me by not doing the dishes because you know I'm a non confrontational person.
Silent treatment - so my reaction to withdraw from you because I'm being treated badly ate now going to be pinned on me as being the manipulator?
Care should be taken in using broad statements because each action should be viewed in the context of the applicable situation, because the actual victim of manipulation seems to be the manipulator in this video.
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Brandon
what i experienced is i have been manipulated a lot even by people i really trusted from screenshots of text messages getting made into something else totally out of context. a crush of mine has manipulated me(acting as she was interested just to get closer to me and my friend circle) to date a friend of mine like she got close to a point i kinda asked her out( i felt those were the signs)
Got friendzoned some weeks later i found that my friend and the girl started dating i was fcked. Worst part is both of them knew i had feelings for her and they just did it. at least that friend of mine could have said he wanted her or was dating but nothing. I found out about this when I saw them going back home together and asked others what's happening with them. Now i have no contact with both of them but we go to the same school so i have to see them everyday
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what i experienced is i have been manipulated a lot even by people i really trusted from screenshots of text messages getting made into something else totally out of context. a crush of mine has manipulated me(acting as she was interested just to get closer to me and my friend circle) to date a friend of mine like she got close to a point i kinda asked her out( i felt those were the signs)
Got friendzoned some weeks later i found that my friend and the girl started dating i was fcked. Worst part is both of them knew i had feelings for her and they just did it. at least that friend of mine could have said he wanted her or was dating but nothing. I found out about this when I saw them going back home together and asked others what's happening with them. Now i have no contact with both of them but we go to the same school so i have to see them everyday
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Fachipa
I've been manipulated for almost half of my life. My best friend who I met back in 2010 made me feel like incompetent garbage for more than a decade so he can feel superior for the lack of self-love he has, not only that but he also turned some friends in common ( he met them because of me) against me and made them believed I was the liar and the problem just because I wanted to establish boundaries because I got tired. I told all of them to off my life and I realized part of my depression was produced by my closest friends. It is not easy to do so, it took me years but now I'm happier than ever in my life, I feel more confident with my self and I'm no longer afraid. Being alone for some time made me grow up for good and now my new friends and my partner look up for me as well I look up for them. I'm so lucky to have them.
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I've been manipulated for almost half of my life. My best friend who I met back in 2010 made me feel like incompetent garbage for more than a decade so he can feel superior for the lack of self-love he has, not only that but he also turned some friends in common ( he met them because of me) against me and made them believed I was the liar and the problem just because I wanted to establish boundaries because I got tired. I told all of them to off my life and I realized part of my depression was produced by my closest friends. It is not easy to do so, it took me years but now I'm happier than ever in my life, I feel more confident with my self and I'm no longer afraid. Being alone for some time made me grow up for good and now my new friends and my partner look up for me as well I look up for them. I'm so lucky to have them.
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Tinas
I had this ex best friend who we were really close but at one point she got so possessive over me that she literally didnt let me hang out with anyone else she said stuff like why are you so desperate and you are my robot I can do anything I want and I tried to explain her politely but she still refused that friendship really made my low self esteem worse especially since she mad it worse by making it sound like going to therapy is a huge problem she could also mention things about my appearance which hurt,
other people even told me to stop being her friend because she wasnt a good friend but I am really nice so I still stayed being her friend though that did more damage then good is that manipulation?
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I had this ex best friend who we were really close but at one point she got so possessive over me that she literally didnt let me hang out with anyone else she said stuff like why are you so desperate and you are my robot I can do anything I want and I tried to explain her politely but she still refused that friendship really made my low self esteem worse especially since she mad it worse by making it sound like going to therapy is a huge problem she could also mention things about my appearance which hurt,
other people even told me to stop being her friend because she wasnt a good friend but I am really nice so I still stayed being her friend though that did more damage then good is that manipulation?
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LastEarBender
I had a business associate, who is a manipulator. When I had finally realized it and initiated a divide between the two of us, he pulled out all of the tools - tried to convince me that by no longer doing business with him that it was an attack on his family and when that didn't work, he attempted to extort me by threatening to smear other people involved in my business. After having made some vague threats that included my children, I was able to get a restraining order in place. He kept harassing me using anonymous phone numbers and by email - until I closed the email account and disconnected my old phone number. People be cray
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I had a business associate, who is a manipulator. When I had finally realized it and initiated a divide between the two of us, he pulled out all of the tools - tried to convince me that by no longer doing business with him that it was an attack on his family and when that didn't work, he attempted to extort me by threatening to smear other people involved in my business. After having made some vague threats that included my children, I was able to get a restraining order in place. He kept harassing me using anonymous phone numbers and by email - until I closed the email account and disconnected my old phone number. People be cray
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Artair
If ever given the chance, would you guys be open to making a video on covert narcissism? Its something that piqued my interest after having recently escaping an abusive relationship with one and am in the process of taking him to court. In my studies Ive also found several other forms of narcissism I ended up researching and learned so much. Its not as relatively new but the terminology is still widely unknown to many and Id really love to see more videos spreading awareness about this type of narcissism
Edit: reached the end of the video. This literally describes the manipulation tactics of a covert narcissist: ')
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If ever given the chance, would you guys be open to making a video on covert narcissism? Its something that piqued my interest after having recently escaping an abusive relationship with one and am in the process of taking him to court. In my studies Ive also found several other forms of narcissism I ended up researching and learned so much. Its not as relatively new but the terminology is still widely unknown to many and Id really love to see more videos spreading awareness about this type of narcissism
Edit: reached the end of the video. This literally describes the manipulation tactics of a covert narcissist: ')
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Yuuki
I think my dad is a manipulator. He gaslighted my mother and myself every day for decades. It's hard to have freedom in this household. Because in this house only he is right, other than that everything is wrong. If we try to defend the argument that we are right. Then my father will be very angry. And started discouraging us by saying, you are weird, you won't be successful with that thought, if you want to be successful, then just shut up and listen to what dad says.
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I think my dad is a manipulator. He gaslighted my mother and myself every day for decades. It's hard to have freedom in this household. Because in this house only he is right, other than that everything is wrong. If we try to defend the argument that we are right. Then my father will be very angry. And started discouraging us by saying, you are weird, you won't be successful with that thought, if you want to be successful, then just shut up and listen to what dad says.
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Erin
Have been manipulated now I im so sensitive to it. And the slightest manifestation of it in someone makes me manipulate and mind f them in the end. Its not a good thing but it annoys those who consciously use it on you and best thing is they cant call you out without proof and even with it you can gaslight them. I became the person I feared but I still know when to take a step back and reinforce my boundaries I just messed with those who try to mess with me thats all
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Have been manipulated now I im so sensitive to it. And the slightest manifestation of it in someone makes me manipulate and mind f them in the end. Its not a good thing but it annoys those who consciously use it on you and best thing is they cant call you out without proof and even with it you can gaslight them. I became the person I feared but I still know when to take a step back and reinforce my boundaries I just messed with those who try to mess with me thats all
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Eli
I think you are only focused on manipulators that make you feel guilty about yourself. There are manipulators who give you little treats to make you more loyal to them. They don't make you feel bad, but if you are stressed or depressed, little gifts, such as money and constant compliments, will fool you into thinking they care for you. I think these kind of manipulators are the most evil, hardest to recognize, and most crushing to you are when they throw you away.
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I think you are only focused on manipulators that make you feel guilty about yourself. There are manipulators who give you little treats to make you more loyal to them. They don't make you feel bad, but if you are stressed or depressed, little gifts, such as money and constant compliments, will fool you into thinking they care for you. I think these kind of manipulators are the most evil, hardest to recognize, and most crushing to you are when they throw you away.
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Amanda
What if someone has been being abused by a narcissist, for over 17 years? I finally broke away from him the children I left about 4 1/2 years ago and then all of a sudden last year after him and his girlfriend purchased a house and that didnt make me jealous because thats what I was trying to do before I left him, and the court system failed at the children and I and now hes in full control of our lives, and when the boys and I get to see each other?
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What if someone has been being abused by a narcissist, for over 17 years? I finally broke away from him the children I left about 4 1/2 years ago and then all of a sudden last year after him and his girlfriend purchased a house and that didnt make me jealous because thats what I was trying to do before I left him, and the court system failed at the children and I and now hes in full control of our lives, and when the boys and I get to see each other?
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Brooklynn
Even if someone using these tactics claims good intentions, keep your distance. You don't need to put yourself in a position where your emotions are invalidated, even for the sake of preserving a relationship. Having to learn this the hard way, but it's not love or friendship if the effort for understanding only goes one way. It tears my heart up to have to stay away but I'm done being caught in this trap and having my anxiety used against me.
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Even if someone using these tactics claims good intentions, keep your distance. You don't need to put yourself in a position where your emotions are invalidated, even for the sake of preserving a relationship. Having to learn this the hard way, but it's not love or friendship if the effort for understanding only goes one way. It tears my heart up to have to stay away but I'm done being caught in this trap and having my anxiety used against me.
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Hazel
I am a University student, Final year of Pharmacy. My roommate is a very big manipulator. Initially she gave me a few gifts and things to oblige me. Now, she uses my things without my knowledge, borrows my money and never returns them, she is from different religion so makes fun of mine and always tries to dominate me. I never realised that she gave me those things to make me her puppet.
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I am a University student, Final year of Pharmacy. My roommate is a very big manipulator. Initially she gave me a few gifts and things to oblige me. Now, she uses my things without my knowledge, borrows my money and never returns them, she is from different religion so makes fun of mine and always tries to dominate me. I never realised that she gave me those things to make me her puppet.
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Skunke
I am currently dealing with a manipulator and its been going on for about a year now.
This girl in my class is manipulating everyone to think I am a bad person.
And well, the teachers (and even the principal) are on my side and I hope itll all be over soon. My wish is that no one else should go through what Ive went through with this crazy girl.
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I am currently dealing with a manipulator and its been going on for about a year now.
This girl in my class is manipulating everyone to think I am a bad person.
And well, the teachers (and even the principal) are on my side and I hope itll all be over soon. My wish is that no one else should go through what Ive went through with this crazy girl.
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Christy
One main tactic that is used from the get go. The ice breaker I guess Id call it is the ego stroking they do. Approaching you saying all this great stuff about you. my advice is to pay attention to what comes directly after their superficial stroking. Because thats when they unintentionally reveal what it is theyre wanting to get out of you.
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One main tactic that is used from the get go. The ice breaker I guess Id call it is the ego stroking they do. Approaching you saying all this great stuff about you. my advice is to pay attention to what comes directly after their superficial stroking. Because thats when they unintentionally reveal what it is theyre wanting to get out of you.
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Andrene
Hey Psych2Go, I don't think this example is a clear or a good one. Someone who doesn't clean up after themselves and expects to burden someone else with cleaning up after them. is a manipulator.
I would be leaving those dirty dishes in the sink and we both would be watching them pile up. Am I a manipulator?
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Hey Psych2Go, I don't think this example is a clear or a good one. Someone who doesn't clean up after themselves and expects to burden someone else with cleaning up after them. is a manipulator.
I would be leaving those dirty dishes in the sink and we both would be watching them pile up. Am I a manipulator?
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JustMe
Manipulation is always seen as such a bad thing but some people use it for really good things.
The dishes one is a great one. It shows that the issue isn't manipulation but that some people can't read between the lines. It's a great way to avoid confrontation and escalating situations that don't need to be.
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Manipulation is always seen as such a bad thing but some people use it for really good things.
The dishes one is a great one. It shows that the issue isn't manipulation but that some people can't read between the lines. It's a great way to avoid confrontation and escalating situations that don't need to be.
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DB/
The example of the dirty dishes at the beginning of the video has me confused about who's manipulating whom. Repeatedly leaving dirty dishes for someone else to wash seems like a manipulative act. Being passive aggressive is a manipulative behaviour.
What's the story here?
The rest was clear.
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The example of the dirty dishes at the beginning of the video has me confused about who's manipulating whom. Repeatedly leaving dirty dishes for someone else to wash seems like a manipulative act. Being passive aggressive is a manipulative behaviour.
What's the story here?
The rest was clear.
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Tiffany
Don't talk to a covert narcissist about what they do wrong to you. Just ignore, walk away, cut off, without offending them. Let them say what they want or think what they want. They are beyond help. Confronting them or exposing them will make them retaliate and lie about you to others.
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Don't talk to a covert narcissist about what they do wrong to you. Just ignore, walk away, cut off, without offending them. Let them say what they want or think what they want. They are beyond help. Confronting them or exposing them will make them retaliate and lie about you to others.
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xBruh_Devi
Some people tried to manipulated me, but when I see something fishy I usually shove them away from my life. BTW, my friends tried to manipulated me once, they tried to use my pity, so they can get what they want. I tried to be nice and believe them. But I was actually pretending.
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Some people tried to manipulated me, but when I see something fishy I usually shove them away from my life. BTW, my friends tried to manipulated me once, they tried to use my pity, so they can get what they want. I tried to be nice and believe them. But I was actually pretending.
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Gene
Thank You all at Psych2Go. We as human are becoming more cunning, than intelligent. This in itself is a reliable indicator that manipulators have top down, and bottom up assistance. Today's businesses need more and more of negative behaviors to supply their bottom line.
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Thank You all at Psych2Go. We as human are becoming more cunning, than intelligent. This in itself is a reliable indicator that manipulators have top down, and bottom up assistance. Today's businesses need more and more of negative behaviors to supply their bottom line.
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Alex
TW/CW: scide mention
I've manipulated people to stay alive and not commit unalive. Ive done this a lot with a past ex. And thankfully, they are with someone else now and are happy to be alive. They're thriving. I'm glad I did manipulate them into staying alive
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TW/CW: scide mention
I've manipulated people to stay alive and not commit unalive. Ive done this a lot with a past ex. And thankfully, they are with someone else now and are happy to be alive. They're thriving. I'm glad I did manipulate them into staying alive
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