
6 Signs You're Unintentionally Manipulative (But Have Good Intention)
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Moana
I get 1: 23, but I have no issue taking the blame for anything. If my partner holds me accountable for my actions or tells me that I hurt them, I'm all ears. I love making my partner feel safe and heard. Reassuring somebody I love is never tiring for me. But what happens when I try to bring up how THEY hurt me and they turn it into an argument? Even if it's something small like they accidently pushed me and kinda hurt my feelings and I want them to give me a tiny apology. Or if they did something really disrespectful like joke about being with another woman. is that the blame game? Or when they disregard my feelings or say something unintentionally hurtful and I try to address it so i know they didnt mean to, but they start arguing that they didnt. is that me being manipulative? All i wanted was to be considered too. He tells me I'm just trying to blame him for everything. or paint him out as a bad guy. but I just want him to not treat me like that. that's it. I don't know anymore
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I get 1: 23, but I have no issue taking the blame for anything. If my partner holds me accountable for my actions or tells me that I hurt them, I'm all ears. I love making my partner feel safe and heard. Reassuring somebody I love is never tiring for me. But what happens when I try to bring up how THEY hurt me and they turn it into an argument? Even if it's something small like they accidently pushed me and kinda hurt my feelings and I want them to give me a tiny apology. Or if they did something really disrespectful like joke about being with another woman. is that the blame game? Or when they disregard my feelings or say something unintentionally hurtful and I try to address it so i know they didnt mean to, but they start arguing that they didnt. is that me being manipulative? All i wanted was to be considered too. He tells me I'm just trying to blame him for everything. or paint him out as a bad guy. but I just want him to not treat me like that. that's it. I don't know anymore
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Helena
i love it that you explain why people would act that way, that often it can be programmed by how they grew up or was kind of a coping mechanism. often, it can be unintentionally, as you point out. Educating yourself on it, becoming more aware of behaviour patterns and taking it step by step. if people become aware of it and try to change it, kindness and empathy is supportive. its just when there could be no desire for insight, that empathy is not needed then. but this shouldnt be a common case. i like learning new things and also things aside of my character. honesty is the dealbreaker, and let all true intentions come out, i use it when feeling in doubt. i like to believe that most actions are unintentioanally, taking steps to chance things are the actual proof. thx psych2go for cute videos with educational & pleasant content to watch
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i love it that you explain why people would act that way, that often it can be programmed by how they grew up or was kind of a coping mechanism. often, it can be unintentionally, as you point out. Educating yourself on it, becoming more aware of behaviour patterns and taking it step by step. if people become aware of it and try to change it, kindness and empathy is supportive. its just when there could be no desire for insight, that empathy is not needed then. but this shouldnt be a common case. i like learning new things and also things aside of my character. honesty is the dealbreaker, and let all true intentions come out, i use it when feeling in doubt. i like to believe that most actions are unintentioanally, taking steps to chance things are the actual proof. thx psych2go for cute videos with educational & pleasant content to watch
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Sharing
I find that if you are honest, it's easier to manipulate people. Like, if you are going to be selective with your truths, don't tweak them. Make sure everything you say is 100% true, and people are more likely to focus on the facts you chose to provide even if they aren't the whole story. If blaming others, take a moment first to mention some of your own faults. That way, people are more likely to pay attention and believe you when you go to single out someone else. I like revealing these to anyone who will listen, especially the people I care about or find close, because I want to be called out whenever someone notices me using these. Self-sabotaging my own manipulative nature has been great at helping me adopt better habits.
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I find that if you are honest, it's easier to manipulate people. Like, if you are going to be selective with your truths, don't tweak them. Make sure everything you say is 100% true, and people are more likely to focus on the facts you chose to provide even if they aren't the whole story. If blaming others, take a moment first to mention some of your own faults. That way, people are more likely to pay attention and believe you when you go to single out someone else. I like revealing these to anyone who will listen, especially the people I care about or find close, because I want to be called out whenever someone notices me using these. Self-sabotaging my own manipulative nature has been great at helping me adopt better habits.
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My
I know I have a tendency to lie or to omit because of how easier things just get. Like I don't get into trouble if I just lie. And it always started out small, but one white lie turned into something so big and I was caught in my lie and immediately I felt relief rather than scared for the consequences of my actions.
I unknowingly took on a lie that was increasingly gaining weight in my heart and I carried it with me everyday, each lie made it even more heavier. Until one day I realized that my actual punishment of my crime couldn't even compare to how much I was unknowingly torturing myself.
I still lie at times but this is something I'm working on improving myzelf.
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I know I have a tendency to lie or to omit because of how easier things just get. Like I don't get into trouble if I just lie. And it always started out small, but one white lie turned into something so big and I was caught in my lie and immediately I felt relief rather than scared for the consequences of my actions.
I unknowingly took on a lie that was increasingly gaining weight in my heart and I carried it with me everyday, each lie made it even more heavier. Until one day I realized that my actual punishment of my crime couldn't even compare to how much I was unknowingly torturing myself.
I still lie at times but this is something I'm working on improving myzelf.
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Eighteen
Oof, I suffered a lot of problems in my childhood for 9 years like rape or physical abuse, since my kindness cause a lot of problems, and I noticed that I accidentally manipulate, to have and stay with friends because its me I was doing good because I recently started talking about my problems, I never like to manipulate, but it's almost a habit. I hope I can be a better person and avoid being too nice to the point of being manipulated or attacked (to be precise my past left me so upset and alone that I no longer wanted to feel this emotion.
Anyways, thank you very much for this video Psych2go and for all those who read this message good day/night to y'all
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Oof, I suffered a lot of problems in my childhood for 9 years like rape or physical abuse, since my kindness cause a lot of problems, and I noticed that I accidentally manipulate, to have and stay with friends because its me I was doing good because I recently started talking about my problems, I never like to manipulate, but it's almost a habit. I hope I can be a better person and avoid being too nice to the point of being manipulated or attacked (to be precise my past left me so upset and alone that I no longer wanted to feel this emotion.
Anyways, thank you very much for this video Psych2go and for all those who read this message good day/night to y'all
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Thatguy
exaggeration is not a form of manipulation. especially in story telling it helps show cases something drastic, by pulling away from the norm. which for most of society it seems movie and TV standards set that. so exaggeration ends up being the only way to catch someones attention. (which is why big fish stories have always been a thing) not only that being a truth teller only gets you manipulated. so In this manipulate or be manipulated there is no grey areas, which if you understand life there is no right and wrong only grey areas. which is why things need balance not to be just classified as good or bad.
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exaggeration is not a form of manipulation. especially in story telling it helps show cases something drastic, by pulling away from the norm. which for most of society it seems movie and TV standards set that. so exaggeration ends up being the only way to catch someones attention. (which is why big fish stories have always been a thing) not only that being a truth teller only gets you manipulated. so In this manipulate or be manipulated there is no grey areas, which if you understand life there is no right and wrong only grey areas. which is why things need balance not to be just classified as good or bad.
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Amy
What's scary is that people can turn out this way if they're being spoiled by their parents or relatives too much. needless to say that this video kind of targets who I used to be in my late teens and early 20's, and still on occasion, I have to remind myself that the worst of what I've displayed to others can be forgiven. it's really weird how my mind works, but as of lately, my brain has just been in a weird place. I'm 30 now, so while I have come a long way since then, my ADHD still makes regulating my emotions a difficult thing to grasp.
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What's scary is that people can turn out this way if they're being spoiled by their parents or relatives too much. needless to say that this video kind of targets who I used to be in my late teens and early 20's, and still on occasion, I have to remind myself that the worst of what I've displayed to others can be forgiven. it's really weird how my mind works, but as of lately, my brain has just been in a weird place. I'm 30 now, so while I have come a long way since then, my ADHD still makes regulating my emotions a difficult thing to grasp.
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education
What if you genuinely believe you are correct though each time?
For the last part, I think it depends on how much they want it. I think good intentioned ones can be reasoned with, but will largely be reluctant to allow it the other way they dont want. It is also the very difference between my fathers manipulation and my own. I also largely see my manipulation as a necessary means to an end. Especially as I honestly hate mind games.
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What if you genuinely believe you are correct though each time?
For the last part, I think it depends on how much they want it. I think good intentioned ones can be reasoned with, but will largely be reluctant to allow it the other way they dont want. It is also the very difference between my fathers manipulation and my own. I also largely see my manipulation as a necessary means to an end. Especially as I honestly hate mind games.
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Gabriele
I actually don't Like promises because in the Past a lot of people said to me I promise! or I swear! and then nothing.
And then it came to my mind that I prefer the phrase I give you my word, that I personally use and ask other people to use with me, because only then I can trust someone. In fact, if someone doesn't fulfill the word [Unless major forces], subsequent Words are worthless for me.
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I actually don't Like promises because in the Past a lot of people said to me I promise! or I swear! and then nothing.
And then it came to my mind that I prefer the phrase I give you my word, that I personally use and ask other people to use with me, because only then I can trust someone. In fact, if someone doesn't fulfill the word [Unless major forces], subsequent Words are worthless for me.
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Penguin_urple
My friend uses hyperboles a lot of the time, and its surprisingly exhausting. Listening to them talk knowing their over reacting or saying more than what happened is a lot of work to put up with. When they do this it makes me feel like I should take a big loud sigh or roll my eyes, of course I dont but I sometimes wish I could.
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My friend uses hyperboles a lot of the time, and its surprisingly exhausting. Listening to them talk knowing their over reacting or saying more than what happened is a lot of work to put up with. When they do this it makes me feel like I should take a big loud sigh or roll my eyes, of course I dont but I sometimes wish I could.
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Edward
I have a girlfriend that is manipulative and will always want things her way otherwise am argument might pursue. It's been 8 months and it seems like I can't help her overcome her trauma and that's having backlash on me. I will call it quits if it doesn't change but I can't get through to her so what should I do
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I have a girlfriend that is manipulative and will always want things her way otherwise am argument might pursue. It's been 8 months and it seems like I can't help her overcome her trauma and that's having backlash on me. I will call it quits if it doesn't change but I can't get through to her so what should I do
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Janna
You should also never disclose to any one that you let a friend borrow from you. Thats just below the belt as well. Not only the person exaggerated they broke something that was most likely private. No matter how angry you are. Its not right to put someones personal problems out there,
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You should also never disclose to any one that you let a friend borrow from you. Thats just below the belt as well. Not only the person exaggerated they broke something that was most likely private. No matter how angry you are. Its not right to put someones personal problems out there,
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ItsAllAboutGuitar
This is probably 99. 99999% of US society. Let's fix the promise one for all of us. The US dollar is a promisary note and that promise has been broken many times, most notably in 1971 when holders were told they could no longer redeem them for the gold they were promised.
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This is probably 99. 99999% of US society. Let's fix the promise one for all of us. The US dollar is a promisary note and that promise has been broken many times, most notably in 1971 when holders were told they could no longer redeem them for the gold they were promised.
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Erorr.
I already know that I am VERY unintentionally manipulative. I became aware of this by finding out that people with autism (I have autism) are more likely to be really good manipulators. I looked at myself and how I can be unintentionally manipulative and realised this.
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I already know that I am VERY unintentionally manipulative. I became aware of this by finding out that people with autism (I have autism) are more likely to be really good manipulators. I looked at myself and how I can be unintentionally manipulative and realised this.
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Techno
Its probably also a natural career survival tactic in some of the most competitive industries like in the animation industry where that sort of mindset is what allows you to make your product more enjoyable to your audience than the competition! :)
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Its probably also a natural career survival tactic in some of the most competitive industries like in the animation industry where that sort of mindset is what allows you to make your product more enjoyable to your audience than the competition! :)
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FlawlessQueen0906
I have a question about number 2 what if a person lies and they say its to spare your feelings should you look at it from their point of view or look at it for what it is as they lied to you to spare there own feelings
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I have a question about number 2 what if a person lies and they say its to spare your feelings should you look at it from their point of view or look at it for what it is as they lied to you to spare there own feelings
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kamui
Over the years I've realized I was extremely manipulative and a master at deception, not proud of it tho, but i remember always getting my way because of how great I was at lying and just making people give me what I want
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Over the years I've realized I was extremely manipulative and a master at deception, not proud of it tho, but i remember always getting my way because of how great I was at lying and just making people give me what I want
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Azaria
Also for the second one, blaming something you did on a trait you have like oh I guess I'm just a shitty person because of my trauma or well I guess I forgot because everyone always forgets about me
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Also for the second one, blaming something you did on a trait you have like oh I guess I'm just a shitty person because of my trauma or well I guess I forgot because everyone always forgets about me
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Marcelo
I hate how many of these I related too because of insecurity but Im also proud of the ones I was already aware of and was already trying to work on before realizing I related to others. Progress
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I hate how many of these I related too because of insecurity but Im also proud of the ones I was already aware of and was already trying to work on before realizing I related to others. Progress
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Random
4 out of the 6 I relate to.
the 4th and the 6th are the ones I dont relate to.
I already knew I was at least a little manipulative, so this was just confirmation.
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4 out of the 6 I relate to.
the 4th and the 6th are the ones I dont relate to.
I already knew I was at least a little manipulative, so this was just confirmation.
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psych2go
I always suspected this, and now I know for sure. I still do this to this day, but it's not as bad. Thank you for explaining this, I'll try to be better Psych2Go!
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I always suspected this, and now I know for sure. I still do this to this day, but it's not as bad. Thank you for explaining this, I'll try to be better Psych2Go!
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NostalgiaMan
Yes I am. Because there's a girl who's been humiliating me since 2021. So I try to warn users into not trust her. Because she still tricks me to this very day
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Yes I am. Because there's a girl who's been humiliating me since 2021. So I try to warn users into not trust her. Because she still tricks me to this very day
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FayCantCommunicate
. yes. i am manipulative, when i learned that i believed i was a bad person
Now i believe i am a terrible person for that AND other reasons xD
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. yes. i am manipulative, when i learned that i believed i was a bad person
Now i believe i am a terrible person for that AND other reasons xD
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shk
I lived for 9 years with a manipulative person, and I think I got some of his habits. That's my story, I feel bad when I notice them, but I'm trying to change.
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I lived for 9 years with a manipulative person, and I think I got some of his habits. That's my story, I feel bad when I notice them, but I'm trying to change.
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Flamegamer
I see myself with the first. I use facts to make sense of what Im talking about against people who have their opinions or their own side of the story.
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I see myself with the first. I use facts to make sense of what Im talking about against people who have their opinions or their own side of the story.
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