SELF CHECK: Signs You're Becoming Less Toxic
video description
Date: 2023-09-16
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 19
just
I'm autistic and have low empathy because of alexithymia, so as far as things go in putting yourself into someone else's shoes, I really lack that ability. I can relate through my own experiences, and. that's where I've always been, as far as that goes. Because it isn't a changable trait, and empathy can't be learned, I've had to work on learning compassion instead. And while I can't put myself into another person's shoes, I can change my own perspective and think How would I feel if? and other such things. I'm never stepping into the shoes of another, as it isn't within my ability, but I don't think you need to try on someone else's shoes to get it. I don't think empathy is. the most important, and especially not empathy that lacks compassion. Without it, empathy has little meaning, and that built-in ability can only get you so far if you don't expand on it. And can even result in blindness to others instead of care for them. As it is also a learned ability, it can be trained.
Anyway. I stay in my own shoes, but try to think with a bird's-eye-view. My shoes will be the same, but I can shift my perspective, and from. like, my psychology special interest / hyperfixation, I can figure things out. All I've learned is an asset to me, and I think that I've learned them makes them hold more value.
Um. I'm getting too distracted for this. Uh. You can always shift your perspective, I think. You may never be able to fully relate, but that will never mean you can't understand, and if you learn things like psychology and put in the time to these things, it really does help smooth things over.
I will leave you with a song lyric that seems relevant.
It looks like empathy
To understand all sides
But I'm just trying to
Find myself through
Someone else's eyes
And I think that's okay. Self interest never had to be a bad trait. Just don't overdo it. If it leads you to want understanding, to seek out others and expand your world, then. it can't be all that bad.
Moreover, it can't always be your fault.
reply
I'm autistic and have low empathy because of alexithymia, so as far as things go in putting yourself into someone else's shoes, I really lack that ability. I can relate through my own experiences, and. that's where I've always been, as far as that goes. Because it isn't a changable trait, and empathy can't be learned, I've had to work on learning compassion instead. And while I can't put myself into another person's shoes, I can change my own perspective and think How would I feel if? and other such things. I'm never stepping into the shoes of another, as it isn't within my ability, but I don't think you need to try on someone else's shoes to get it. I don't think empathy is. the most important, and especially not empathy that lacks compassion. Without it, empathy has little meaning, and that built-in ability can only get you so far if you don't expand on it. And can even result in blindness to others instead of care for them. As it is also a learned ability, it can be trained.
Anyway. I stay in my own shoes, but try to think with a bird's-eye-view. My shoes will be the same, but I can shift my perspective, and from. like, my psychology special interest / hyperfixation, I can figure things out. All I've learned is an asset to me, and I think that I've learned them makes them hold more value.
Um. I'm getting too distracted for this. Uh. You can always shift your perspective, I think. You may never be able to fully relate, but that will never mean you can't understand, and if you learn things like psychology and put in the time to these things, it really does help smooth things over.
I will leave you with a song lyric that seems relevant.
It looks like empathy
To understand all sides
But I'm just trying to
Find myself through
Someone else's eyes
And I think that's okay. Self interest never had to be a bad trait. Just don't overdo it. If it leads you to want understanding, to seek out others and expand your world, then. it can't be all that bad.
Moreover, it can't always be your fault.
reply
John
Ive been watching how not to be toxic videos and signs that im toxic videos so much lately. I just wanna be bestest of friends in my friend group, someone thats always there for them whenever they need help. My gf has been jealous and thinks i love someone else. Ive been trying and trying to convince her but its not enough. Now i feel like im invisible in the friend group, no one ever talks to me and just ignores me except one friend thats letting me vent to her about the hellish months ive been experiencing but i dont wanna be a burden to anyone thats why i didnt vent about this or tell anyone this sooner but now im completely burnt out and also now another friend group or the girls group has been gossiping about me apperarently and its the same person who tried to force me into buying her something and stabbed me in the ear with a fork im very forgiving and understanding like even if someones arrogant and always showing off i just think of them having not enough attention and having low self esteem but stabbing me in the ear is just too much but anyways ive been determined to be a better me excercising, being positive, being nice and understanding to everyone but im just tired at this point what do i do? Am i just overreacting?
Anyways even if you dont see this thanks for creating vids like this it really helps
reply
Ive been watching how not to be toxic videos and signs that im toxic videos so much lately. I just wanna be bestest of friends in my friend group, someone thats always there for them whenever they need help. My gf has been jealous and thinks i love someone else. Ive been trying and trying to convince her but its not enough. Now i feel like im invisible in the friend group, no one ever talks to me and just ignores me except one friend thats letting me vent to her about the hellish months ive been experiencing but i dont wanna be a burden to anyone thats why i didnt vent about this or tell anyone this sooner but now im completely burnt out and also now another friend group or the girls group has been gossiping about me apperarently and its the same person who tried to force me into buying her something and stabbed me in the ear with a fork im very forgiving and understanding like even if someones arrogant and always showing off i just think of them having not enough attention and having low self esteem but stabbing me in the ear is just too much but anyways ive been determined to be a better me excercising, being positive, being nice and understanding to everyone but im just tired at this point what do i do? Am i just overreacting?
Anyways even if you dont see this thanks for creating vids like this it really helps
reply
Cooky
Amazing keep these self check videos coming can we have loss of empathy and feeling videos more about how nowadays people seem so so engulfed in their own problems and own feelings that they forget about basic manner and lack any emotions or even empathy toward other, people now compare whos problems are worst anf whos worth their sympathy if you complain about something that other feel that is not equal to their own problems and suffering they will deem your problems are not worth mentioning and dismiss your feeling causing to feel absolutely the worst, i personally believe that if two people live the same situation both wont experience it the same way for one it can be a blessing and for another it can be a trauma this can usually apply to work and school, sorry if my comment is getting longer but i noticed this lately and i see that its becoming a world situation not just I have noticed this but many if my friends across the world say exactly th3 same, people are so absorbed by their own bubble and little world that it makes them lack even basic human emotions such as empathy, connections and letting people in and actually caring for others.
reply
Amazing keep these self check videos coming can we have loss of empathy and feeling videos more about how nowadays people seem so so engulfed in their own problems and own feelings that they forget about basic manner and lack any emotions or even empathy toward other, people now compare whos problems are worst anf whos worth their sympathy if you complain about something that other feel that is not equal to their own problems and suffering they will deem your problems are not worth mentioning and dismiss your feeling causing to feel absolutely the worst, i personally believe that if two people live the same situation both wont experience it the same way for one it can be a blessing and for another it can be a trauma this can usually apply to work and school, sorry if my comment is getting longer but i noticed this lately and i see that its becoming a world situation not just I have noticed this but many if my friends across the world say exactly th3 same, people are so absorbed by their own bubble and little world that it makes them lack even basic human emotions such as empathy, connections and letting people in and actually caring for others.
reply
Murr
After watching that, I realized I am also toxic.
I have been a doormat when I was in grade school and high school (and at times when I am with my relatives. And now, it is toxic for me to be with people who do not admit they're at fault or what they did was wrong (and never apologize for what they have done.
For so long, why did I even allow people to tease me a lot (to the point that it just destroys my sanity) and say that I cannot take a joke or I am just too sensitive? Also, I am an easy target to get flexed on. Yet, when I was told to ignore those people who bullied me, I did just that, but I was told Why are you ignoring them? They have changed. You're adults already. Just move on. . Well, I won't ever talk to them (good thing I terminated everything with them.
I just hope Psych2Go reads my comment (and I know the videos I watch here are not meant for therapy.
reply
After watching that, I realized I am also toxic.
I have been a doormat when I was in grade school and high school (and at times when I am with my relatives. And now, it is toxic for me to be with people who do not admit they're at fault or what they did was wrong (and never apologize for what they have done.
For so long, why did I even allow people to tease me a lot (to the point that it just destroys my sanity) and say that I cannot take a joke or I am just too sensitive? Also, I am an easy target to get flexed on. Yet, when I was told to ignore those people who bullied me, I did just that, but I was told Why are you ignoring them? They have changed. You're adults already. Just move on. . Well, I won't ever talk to them (good thing I terminated everything with them.
I just hope Psych2Go reads my comment (and I know the videos I watch here are not meant for therapy.
reply
Austin
I am having a hard time determining whether I have these traits or not because I think I have reason to support saying that I do but it feels like a grey area and idk. Like sometimes I sit in discord calls and wait to see if people join but is that testing them. I really just want to play games without like announcing it to people because they will join if they want to. But I could be testing to see if people care to hang out with me. I don't want to be toxic and have gotten better at not sitting there for people to join but just doing my own thing in call. Is it toxic though?
reply
I am having a hard time determining whether I have these traits or not because I think I have reason to support saying that I do but it feels like a grey area and idk. Like sometimes I sit in discord calls and wait to see if people join but is that testing them. I really just want to play games without like announcing it to people because they will join if they want to. But I could be testing to see if people care to hang out with me. I don't want to be toxic and have gotten better at not sitting there for people to join but just doing my own thing in call. Is it toxic though?
reply
Lil_Noot
I hid what I thought and felt for years in order to not be a burden to others, and as a result of that not working, I am very blunt and honest. I m also defensive and quick to anger, but that s because of my PTSD and low tolerance for being disrespected and disregarded. I m respectful to others, but I also don t let people walk all over me anymore. I grew up in public school where I was bullied, abandoned, and betrayed by people I thought were my friends. Since then, I m very cautious around people, and it s hard for me to open up. Does this make me toxic?
reply
I hid what I thought and felt for years in order to not be a burden to others, and as a result of that not working, I am very blunt and honest. I m also defensive and quick to anger, but that s because of my PTSD and low tolerance for being disrespected and disregarded. I m respectful to others, but I also don t let people walk all over me anymore. I grew up in public school where I was bullied, abandoned, and betrayed by people I thought were my friends. Since then, I m very cautious around people, and it s hard for me to open up. Does this make me toxic?
reply
LyteSolls
I only have the last three, it admitably makes socializing difficult because thats coupled with me generally finding it hard to talk to people. I'm used to getting ignored by everyone, even my friends. When i talk to a friend, they ignore me the second their other friends show up. Its all everyone ever does, its gotten to a point where i cant confidantly talk to anyone because i know they're just going to ignore me or i'll run out of things to talk about
reply
I only have the last three, it admitably makes socializing difficult because thats coupled with me generally finding it hard to talk to people. I'm used to getting ignored by everyone, even my friends. When i talk to a friend, they ignore me the second their other friends show up. Its all everyone ever does, its gotten to a point where i cant confidantly talk to anyone because i know they're just going to ignore me or i'll run out of things to talk about
reply
Tom
okay i definitely have noticed 4 & 6 in my behaviors. im super avoidant and try avoiding conflict a lot so i have been taken advantage of and avoided confontation (mostly in my relationships)
but i have been improving since i have noticed that and reconsidering my wants/needs in that kind of context.
my friendships are lovely! still kind of have #6 on occasion but overall im doing decently: >
love your videos!
reply
okay i definitely have noticed 4 & 6 in my behaviors. im super avoidant and try avoiding conflict a lot so i have been taken advantage of and avoided confontation (mostly in my relationships)
but i have been improving since i have noticed that and reconsidering my wants/needs in that kind of context.
my friendships are lovely! still kind of have #6 on occasion but overall im doing decently: >
love your videos!
reply
education
With Autism, ADHD, and OCD, as well as trauma, I struggle with not overexplaining, or trying not to sound overly smart to others, as a way to get them to think about my information. I just tend to sneak in and information-bomb them, as well as subtly changing the topic, a lot of the time without even thinking about it. It s really annoying, and I m starting to see it affect my friendships more in school
reply
With Autism, ADHD, and OCD, as well as trauma, I struggle with not overexplaining, or trying not to sound overly smart to others, as a way to get them to think about my information. I just tend to sneak in and information-bomb them, as well as subtly changing the topic, a lot of the time without even thinking about it. It s really annoying, and I m starting to see it affect my friendships more in school
reply
C dy
It's hard to voice my opinion or stand up for myself, especially if it's someone I barely know
It's just my speaking problem so I'll lay it off for now
I'll try to not close off how someone's feeling like my mother, because I'm feeling that I am controlling for a long time.
I shouldn't also test her with big questions, since that will also drain her in the process.
reply
It's hard to voice my opinion or stand up for myself, especially if it's someone I barely know
It's just my speaking problem so I'll lay it off for now
I'll try to not close off how someone's feeling like my mother, because I'm feeling that I am controlling for a long time.
I shouldn't also test her with big questions, since that will also drain her in the process.
reply
Palefairy
How is being a door matt toxic? Maybe for the self but it s not hurting others, just the self. The others I agree with. It seems like more someone who s been abused and just stays quiet and just takes whatever horrible treatment from people/don t have a back bone. That isn t a toxic person, that s a deeply hurting person that is too weak to stand up for themselves
reply
How is being a door matt toxic? Maybe for the self but it s not hurting others, just the self. The others I agree with. It seems like more someone who s been abused and just stays quiet and just takes whatever horrible treatment from people/don t have a back bone. That isn t a toxic person, that s a deeply hurting person that is too weak to stand up for themselves
reply
Katana
Not necessarily a bad thing but
I actually like this kinda videos cuz they make me realize I need to be better
I only have one problem tho, my autism has made it hard for me to know what to do to change or understand what things about me should truly be changed and it's made it so hard in my life
reply
Not necessarily a bad thing but
I actually like this kinda videos cuz they make me realize I need to be better
I only have one problem tho, my autism has made it hard for me to know what to do to change or understand what things about me should truly be changed and it's made it so hard in my life
reply
Deadly
Timestamps
1. Check your ego 0: 36
2. Don't test others 1: 26
3. Don't gossip 2: 22
4. Don't be a doormat 2: 55
5. Don't control people's mindsets 3: 29
6. Don't avoid or delay difficult conversations 4: 12
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
reply
Timestamps
1. Check your ego 0: 36
2. Don't test others 1: 26
3. Don't gossip 2: 22
4. Don't be a doormat 2: 55
5. Don't control people's mindsets 3: 29
6. Don't avoid or delay difficult conversations 4: 12
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
reply
Kaiwago
TIME STAMPS
0: 37 Check your ego
1: 27 Don t test others
2: 22 Don t gossip
2: 56 Don t be a doormat
3: 28 Don t control people s mindsets
4: 12 Don t avoid or delay difficult conversations
Edit: I like how there is like 3 time stamp comments already lol
reply
TIME STAMPS
0: 37 Check your ego
1: 27 Don t test others
2: 22 Don t gossip
2: 56 Don t be a doormat
3: 28 Don t control people s mindsets
4: 12 Don t avoid or delay difficult conversations
Edit: I like how there is like 3 time stamp comments already lol
reply
Beutimus
I wonder if I'm the toxic one because I'd rather 'swallow' any resentment I feel about things that happen in my friend group rather than talk them. Like the time they all decided I needed space without asking me. It still smarts, but it's been so long ago.
reply
I wonder if I'm the toxic one because I'd rather 'swallow' any resentment I feel about things that happen in my friend group rather than talk them. Like the time they all decided I needed space without asking me. It still smarts, but it's been so long ago.
reply
ChocoParfait
But when someone has a disproportionate reaction to something? It s just normal to tell them not to overreact and try to look at things from above. Sometimes it s these people who are toxic, not you who tell them to look at things with more rationality
reply
But when someone has a disproportionate reaction to something? It s just normal to tell them not to overreact and try to look at things from above. Sometimes it s these people who are toxic, not you who tell them to look at things with more rationality
reply
Ayman
00: 00 Introduction
00: 38 1 - Check your ego
01: 27 2 - Don't test others
02: 22 3 - Don't gossip
02: 55 4 - Don't be a doormat
03: 29 5 - Don't control people's mindsets
04: 13 6 - Don't avoid or delay difficult conversations
reply
00: 00 Introduction
00: 38 1 - Check your ego
01: 27 2 - Don't test others
02: 22 3 - Don't gossip
02: 55 4 - Don't be a doormat
03: 29 5 - Don't control people's mindsets
04: 13 6 - Don't avoid or delay difficult conversations
reply
Pie
I definitely need to work on myself more. I'm just terrified that it's already too late and that the damage has been done and that I'm gonna lose my best friend. There's no visible signs of this, I think, so am I worrying too much? Idk
reply
I definitely need to work on myself more. I'm just terrified that it's already too late and that the damage has been done and that I'm gonna lose my best friend. There's no visible signs of this, I think, so am I worrying too much? Idk
reply
education
Hey psych2go, regardless of how toxic your ex/current partner is, making a million of these videos outlining your issues with this type of person isn't a good way to get back at them. It's actually incredibly toxic in its own way.
reply
Hey psych2go, regardless of how toxic your ex/current partner is, making a million of these videos outlining your issues with this type of person isn't a good way to get back at them. It's actually incredibly toxic in its own way.
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
