5 Signs Your Inner Voice Is Cruel (What To Do)
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Date: 2024-03-15
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Comments and reviews: 19
seiriishi
I had fever the last 3 days, went to work anyways dealing with the uncomfortable feeling the whole days. Just so I couldn't be caught alone with my inner voice at home.
My life has changed a lot with some positives here and there, still I've lived so much years under bad treatment from people and my parents that even if life got kind of better I just can't take away this inner voice destroying myself. I'm not able to feel like I deserve good things. I'm not able to enjoy my achievements, I can't enjoy the fun moments with other people appropriately.
This has been almost all my life, but rn is affecting my ability to make relationships and my college studies.
I went to therapy but the situation got quite worse since i've been dealing with non healthy self harm habits, so they wanted me to get into medication, which I refused to consume.
Idk, I don't feel worthy to enjoy anything recently. And some other situations in my life are making going through this quite a draining journey.
I wish I could rest from this, when I'm not feeling down I'm pretty active and enthusiastic but it last so little nowadays that I keep laughing out of a reflex act whenever I start to cry.
This is what happens when you convince yourself that you are not worthy, it just drains you everyday. Even if i want to keep going, even if there is something to do, I know deep down that the only thing keeping me alive is the hope that someday I won't have any energy left to get up again. Then I could have some rest, and I would be able to say that I gave my all, just to make giving up justified.
I hope whoever reads this will find some peace in whatever they may be trying to overcome this issue.
For me the fight keeps going, and I don't know who of the two will end up winning at the end of the day.
If you've been dealing with this and found something useful for this, feel free to share it.
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I had fever the last 3 days, went to work anyways dealing with the uncomfortable feeling the whole days. Just so I couldn't be caught alone with my inner voice at home.
My life has changed a lot with some positives here and there, still I've lived so much years under bad treatment from people and my parents that even if life got kind of better I just can't take away this inner voice destroying myself. I'm not able to feel like I deserve good things. I'm not able to enjoy my achievements, I can't enjoy the fun moments with other people appropriately.
This has been almost all my life, but rn is affecting my ability to make relationships and my college studies.
I went to therapy but the situation got quite worse since i've been dealing with non healthy self harm habits, so they wanted me to get into medication, which I refused to consume.
Idk, I don't feel worthy to enjoy anything recently. And some other situations in my life are making going through this quite a draining journey.
I wish I could rest from this, when I'm not feeling down I'm pretty active and enthusiastic but it last so little nowadays that I keep laughing out of a reflex act whenever I start to cry.
This is what happens when you convince yourself that you are not worthy, it just drains you everyday. Even if i want to keep going, even if there is something to do, I know deep down that the only thing keeping me alive is the hope that someday I won't have any energy left to get up again. Then I could have some rest, and I would be able to say that I gave my all, just to make giving up justified.
I hope whoever reads this will find some peace in whatever they may be trying to overcome this issue.
For me the fight keeps going, and I don't know who of the two will end up winning at the end of the day.
If you've been dealing with this and found something useful for this, feel free to share it.
reply
Noxis07
I know that for me, when I'm inside myself, when I'm in my own head, it gets This place right here, this skull between my ears, that is a bad neighborhood, and I should not be in there alone,
I can't be in there by myself. It's insane! It's crazy in here. This is a bad place for me to be by myself. And so when I'm in that, my whole life gets thrown off. If I'm in there, I don't say nice things to myself. There's another Chester in there that wants to take me down. And I find that, it could be whether it's substances or whether it's behavior or whether it's depressive stuff, or whatever it is, if I'm not actively doing getting out of myself and being with other people, like being a dad, being a husband, being a bandmate, being a friend, helping someone out If I'm out of myself, I'm great. If I'm inside all the time, I'm horrible I'm a mess. And so for me, that was kind of where the 'I don't like my mind right now / Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary' That was where that came from for me. - Chester Bennington
Figured I'd share this exerpt from his interview on 102. 7 KIIS-FM prior to his death. I find myself looking back to this segment a lot. It practically lives rent free in my head. I haven't even suffered a fraction of what he's gone through, but I can't help but relate. Sadly, that part of him won over. We lost him far too soon.
Wish I had some elegantly worded lesson to impart with this except. Just figured it was relevant to the topic of the video. I guess it helped me understand my mindset a little better to hopefully combat the issue. Maybe some of you can take something away from this.
reply
I know that for me, when I'm inside myself, when I'm in my own head, it gets This place right here, this skull between my ears, that is a bad neighborhood, and I should not be in there alone,
I can't be in there by myself. It's insane! It's crazy in here. This is a bad place for me to be by myself. And so when I'm in that, my whole life gets thrown off. If I'm in there, I don't say nice things to myself. There's another Chester in there that wants to take me down. And I find that, it could be whether it's substances or whether it's behavior or whether it's depressive stuff, or whatever it is, if I'm not actively doing getting out of myself and being with other people, like being a dad, being a husband, being a bandmate, being a friend, helping someone out If I'm out of myself, I'm great. If I'm inside all the time, I'm horrible I'm a mess. And so for me, that was kind of where the 'I don't like my mind right now / Stacking up problems that are so unnecessary' That was where that came from for me. - Chester Bennington
Figured I'd share this exerpt from his interview on 102. 7 KIIS-FM prior to his death. I find myself looking back to this segment a lot. It practically lives rent free in my head. I haven't even suffered a fraction of what he's gone through, but I can't help but relate. Sadly, that part of him won over. We lost him far too soon.
Wish I had some elegantly worded lesson to impart with this except. Just figured it was relevant to the topic of the video. I guess it helped me understand my mindset a little better to hopefully combat the issue. Maybe some of you can take something away from this.
reply
SnowySpiritRuby
My cruel inner voice is due to all the berating I was subjected to because I wasn't normal like people wanted and expected me to be, and they let me know it, including my parents. E. g. Writing papers has always been really difficult for me (my teachers and professors always made it very clear that mine weren't good enough, and the very last one I wrote in college (the one single assignment that saved my entire college career, in fact - no exaggeration) earned the best grade I ever got on a paper my entire life, but that paper was so easy for me to write and took basically zero effort on my part that when my professor gave me the grade for it, I had to verify with him to make sure that that grade was actually accurate, and that it wasn't a typo or that he hadn't just given me it merely to make me feel better, because I couldn't believe that I had actually earned it because all my other paper grades across the board had consistently been far worse - I legit cried when he told me that my paper had in fact earned the grade he gave it, and, 8 years later, I still don't quite believe it (after 7 years, I finally figured out why exactly he gave me the grade that he did, but after getting so many bad grades on writing assignments - starting all the way back in 1st grade - I had had it drilled into me that I was never going to be able to write a satisfactory paper for any of my teachers or professors.
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My cruel inner voice is due to all the berating I was subjected to because I wasn't normal like people wanted and expected me to be, and they let me know it, including my parents. E. g. Writing papers has always been really difficult for me (my teachers and professors always made it very clear that mine weren't good enough, and the very last one I wrote in college (the one single assignment that saved my entire college career, in fact - no exaggeration) earned the best grade I ever got on a paper my entire life, but that paper was so easy for me to write and took basically zero effort on my part that when my professor gave me the grade for it, I had to verify with him to make sure that that grade was actually accurate, and that it wasn't a typo or that he hadn't just given me it merely to make me feel better, because I couldn't believe that I had actually earned it because all my other paper grades across the board had consistently been far worse - I legit cried when he told me that my paper had in fact earned the grade he gave it, and, 8 years later, I still don't quite believe it (after 7 years, I finally figured out why exactly he gave me the grade that he did, but after getting so many bad grades on writing assignments - starting all the way back in 1st grade - I had had it drilled into me that I was never going to be able to write a satisfactory paper for any of my teachers or professors.
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theoaremevano3227
A note about inner voices like this:
A few years back, I played a game in which the inhabitants of a realm were subjected to outlandish cruelty, and forced into implicit compliance. Even after they were freed, they didn't know what to do with themselves. They still felt the same as they had before. One I talked to said I feel like I should be working right now. as if someone was looking over their shoulder. What I found odd was how much I felt like I could relate to these people, despite the outlandish suffering they'd been put through. I found that I could feel the same thing in my own life; a sense of self-loathing looming over my shoulder, causing outbursts of inner rage at myself for even the smallest infractions.
Then, a short while later, one of the former guards turned up, still inhabiting the castle. He was so deluded that he didn't even realize his lord had been overthrown. He spat out orders as if he was still in his station, thinking he knew exactly what he was talking about, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. That was when I realized something.
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A note about inner voices like this:
A few years back, I played a game in which the inhabitants of a realm were subjected to outlandish cruelty, and forced into implicit compliance. Even after they were freed, they didn't know what to do with themselves. They still felt the same as they had before. One I talked to said I feel like I should be working right now. as if someone was looking over their shoulder. What I found odd was how much I felt like I could relate to these people, despite the outlandish suffering they'd been put through. I found that I could feel the same thing in my own life; a sense of self-loathing looming over my shoulder, causing outbursts of inner rage at myself for even the smallest infractions.
Then, a short while later, one of the former guards turned up, still inhabiting the castle. He was so deluded that he didn't even realize his lord had been overthrown. He spat out orders as if he was still in his station, thinking he knew exactly what he was talking about, in spite of all evidence to the contrary. That was when I realized something.
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timwashburn8553
Because of my cruel inner voice, I've hated myself most of my life (since grade school) I always felt I wasn't as smart as my friends, I could NEVER accomplish anything, I was worthless (had no value, I could NEVER master the bass guitar as good as any of the greats, it's too late for me to improve my skills and more. I blame myself for letting that inner voice rule over me. I feel pathetic and irredeemable (though I don't know what I did that was so irredeemable. I've wished I was someone else because I'm such a fk up in my life so being someone else (not just like someone else) would be a better thing for me. I've tried replacing the negative self talk with positive self talk but it doesn't seem to be enough. I have too strong a inner cruel voice that I feel like why bother since it doesn't seem to work. Sometimes I wish I'd go to sleep and never wake up again. I do try to fit, but it never seems good a good enough effort. I'm lost. I'm 57yo btw.
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Because of my cruel inner voice, I've hated myself most of my life (since grade school) I always felt I wasn't as smart as my friends, I could NEVER accomplish anything, I was worthless (had no value, I could NEVER master the bass guitar as good as any of the greats, it's too late for me to improve my skills and more. I blame myself for letting that inner voice rule over me. I feel pathetic and irredeemable (though I don't know what I did that was so irredeemable. I've wished I was someone else because I'm such a fk up in my life so being someone else (not just like someone else) would be a better thing for me. I've tried replacing the negative self talk with positive self talk but it doesn't seem to be enough. I have too strong a inner cruel voice that I feel like why bother since it doesn't seem to work. Sometimes I wish I'd go to sleep and never wake up again. I do try to fit, but it never seems good a good enough effort. I'm lost. I'm 57yo btw.
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TailsKade
this is something I have and continue to struggle with for years upon years. Ever since I did acting as a child, my parents and my grandparents have always loomed over me on my behavior and actions and has caused me to slightly go insane with the negative talk I have created for myself because I always feel like I have to abide to their rules and judgement on every tiny little detail. It has an even stronger impact on me now, especially with how lonely I feel, I keep tripping myself into thinking I am the reason why I have done so poorly to conduct myself when in reality its my mental and inner voice that keeps doubting my ability to do things even though I work hard at what I do best and be myself. I grew up with it, and its something I am always finding ways to improve on and grow from.
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this is something I have and continue to struggle with for years upon years. Ever since I did acting as a child, my parents and my grandparents have always loomed over me on my behavior and actions and has caused me to slightly go insane with the negative talk I have created for myself because I always feel like I have to abide to their rules and judgement on every tiny little detail. It has an even stronger impact on me now, especially with how lonely I feel, I keep tripping myself into thinking I am the reason why I have done so poorly to conduct myself when in reality its my mental and inner voice that keeps doubting my ability to do things even though I work hard at what I do best and be myself. I grew up with it, and its something I am always finding ways to improve on and grow from.
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elaisalaisaag4344
I remember about a year ago I would get so upset by my own inner voice, nothing would shut it up, so I'd get hysterical and begin hitting my head repeatedly.
My therapist told me to start talking with love instead of judgement, and at first I couldn't quite understand what she meant. But as my relationships grew, and I began to open up more to my best friend, and other friends I met at my career, I began to understand qhat talking with love is.
Eventually I got help with that, going to therapy did change my life as a whole. Now, the voice is still there, as it should be, but I believe I got better control over it. So go ahead, speak your mind with the right people because it does help a lot.
Love yourself, only then you'll manage to spread that love to the world.
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I remember about a year ago I would get so upset by my own inner voice, nothing would shut it up, so I'd get hysterical and begin hitting my head repeatedly.
My therapist told me to start talking with love instead of judgement, and at first I couldn't quite understand what she meant. But as my relationships grew, and I began to open up more to my best friend, and other friends I met at my career, I began to understand qhat talking with love is.
Eventually I got help with that, going to therapy did change my life as a whole. Now, the voice is still there, as it should be, but I believe I got better control over it. So go ahead, speak your mind with the right people because it does help a lot.
Love yourself, only then you'll manage to spread that love to the world.
reply
Mia-by4hx
I think that my cruel inner voice came from school, i think that it might have been in the form of creation the first 3 years of my elementary school since I've been bullied at first and second grade, but now i think that it has finished forming because i didn't pay attention to it in the past as much as i much as i do now, and it's probably because of my friends sometimes saying things that i take personally or saying things about the things i favourite. For the past three months now I've always been crying and whenever someone asks me for the reason behind my crying i tell them that i don't know, but though I've noticed that I'm much better than before because my crying has decreased, as well as my negative thoughts and my low self esteem, but my best friends have also helped me
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I think that my cruel inner voice came from school, i think that it might have been in the form of creation the first 3 years of my elementary school since I've been bullied at first and second grade, but now i think that it has finished forming because i didn't pay attention to it in the past as much as i much as i do now, and it's probably because of my friends sometimes saying things that i take personally or saying things about the things i favourite. For the past three months now I've always been crying and whenever someone asks me for the reason behind my crying i tell them that i don't know, but though I've noticed that I'm much better than before because my crying has decreased, as well as my negative thoughts and my low self esteem, but my best friends have also helped me
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RyanNerdyGamer
My inner voice has been the one constant source of positive uplift and encouragement when things turn south, and especially when others bully or ghost me (it still happens even now from time to time.
If only I hadn’t shut away and denied my self-worth for so many years, choosing to believe only the loudest of others’ opinions of me no matter how toxic, things might not have gotten as bleak as they had, taking years to start brightening again.
Thank goodness I had the sense to start following my inner guidance system and self-knowing again, because things are so much better when you realise just how dynamic you can be.
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My inner voice has been the one constant source of positive uplift and encouragement when things turn south, and especially when others bully or ghost me (it still happens even now from time to time.
If only I hadn’t shut away and denied my self-worth for so many years, choosing to believe only the loudest of others’ opinions of me no matter how toxic, things might not have gotten as bleak as they had, taking years to start brightening again.
Thank goodness I had the sense to start following my inner guidance system and self-knowing again, because things are so much better when you realise just how dynamic you can be.
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jballs1879
I can totally see these patterns in my behaviour. This happens not regularly, but once somebody at work made a comment that I found rude, since it was about somthing, I'm kinda self conscious about. Looking back know, I don't think he wanted to insult me at all. Anyway later that day, when driving home, I (or rather my cruel voice maybe) reflected about how weak I reacted to his remark in such negative way that I actually started to cry a bit. Like I bullied myself to tears.
But that was rather an extreme occasion. Usually it just gives me a bad mood and lowers my self esteem.
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I can totally see these patterns in my behaviour. This happens not regularly, but once somebody at work made a comment that I found rude, since it was about somthing, I'm kinda self conscious about. Looking back know, I don't think he wanted to insult me at all. Anyway later that day, when driving home, I (or rather my cruel voice maybe) reflected about how weak I reacted to his remark in such negative way that I actually started to cry a bit. Like I bullied myself to tears.
But that was rather an extreme occasion. Usually it just gives me a bad mood and lowers my self esteem.
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jamisonburton7598
Something I've been learning is a concept called Bridging Statements. Though it sounds weird, sometimes those irrational, critical thoughts don't want to leave. Bridging Statements take that thought like I'm never going to find someone to love me and have you take a step back. Instead, try saying, There are some qualities that people love me for. The more you build up these statements and work to believe them, the less critical that inner voice gets. In time and with enough work, I've been seeing changes for the better with my mental health, with way less negative thinking.
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Something I've been learning is a concept called Bridging Statements. Though it sounds weird, sometimes those irrational, critical thoughts don't want to leave. Bridging Statements take that thought like I'm never going to find someone to love me and have you take a step back. Instead, try saying, There are some qualities that people love me for. The more you build up these statements and work to believe them, the less critical that inner voice gets. In time and with enough work, I've been seeing changes for the better with my mental health, with way less negative thinking.
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andrewinia
With the help of a friend I started to call my negative inner voice (and the sadness it brought within) KIM as for Kim Kardashian all dressed up in black at the met gala. We thought it was very accurate to what happened in my head, a dark presence making an entrance.
It helped me put my feelings into a specific kinda iconic character, and objectifying them made it quite funny and less heavy.
It was a nice trick to think of it that way: Kim appeared yesterday, but she didn't stay long, she kept on walking through the red carpet
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With the help of a friend I started to call my negative inner voice (and the sadness it brought within) KIM as for Kim Kardashian all dressed up in black at the met gala. We thought it was very accurate to what happened in my head, a dark presence making an entrance.
It helped me put my feelings into a specific kinda iconic character, and objectifying them made it quite funny and less heavy.
It was a nice trick to think of it that way: Kim appeared yesterday, but she didn't stay long, she kept on walking through the red carpet
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lisaneedham4302
My inner voice comes from years of my brother constantly telling me how terrible I was at everything, pointing out every bad trait I have, every bad thing I do. I know lots, if not all brothers do this, but the problem isn't what they say/do, it's how you receive it. also from my father who drummed it into me that the worst thing in the world was arrogance, which resulted in my inner voice forcing me to have the worst opinion of myself, because I can never find the middle-ground in anything. I don't blame my father though.
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My inner voice comes from years of my brother constantly telling me how terrible I was at everything, pointing out every bad trait I have, every bad thing I do. I know lots, if not all brothers do this, but the problem isn't what they say/do, it's how you receive it. also from my father who drummed it into me that the worst thing in the world was arrogance, which resulted in my inner voice forcing me to have the worst opinion of myself, because I can never find the middle-ground in anything. I don't blame my father though.
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stoogey1
Yep cruel inner voice. It’s actually affecting how I play games. I play a VR Battle royale but I mainly play against bots, and not actual players. When I go into squads my mind automatically goes into the games over before it even starts mindset. I always blame myself if we lose and my squadmates take a L on their stats. I think I’m never good enough to go up against the sweats and I’d just be excess baggage to my squad, so I don’t play squads
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Yep cruel inner voice. It’s actually affecting how I play games. I play a VR Battle royale but I mainly play against bots, and not actual players. When I go into squads my mind automatically goes into the games over before it even starts mindset. I always blame myself if we lose and my squadmates take a L on their stats. I think I’m never good enough to go up against the sweats and I’d just be excess baggage to my squad, so I don’t play squads
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Ominous89
Cruel I tried to love people. All they did in return was screwing me over. Years, decades later, it still hurts. And I still hate them for doing so. I hate the fact that I let them get away with it. And I'm having hard times to forgive myself for not retaliating with violence and fire. So now I have to work on my cruel inner voice Nobody is lovable, and everybody is a potential enemy. Why should I be less cruel if the world refused to be less cruel to me
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Cruel I tried to love people. All they did in return was screwing me over. Years, decades later, it still hurts. And I still hate them for doing so. I hate the fact that I let them get away with it. And I'm having hard times to forgive myself for not retaliating with violence and fire. So now I have to work on my cruel inner voice Nobody is lovable, and everybody is a potential enemy. Why should I be less cruel if the world refused to be less cruel to me
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HestiaVesta
I certainly do have a cruel inner voice and I have taken a couple steps but so far it's just developed a second inner voice that is kinder but isn't always there
And mostly gives me anxiety and something like imposter syndrome and commonly under mines my accomplishments by mentions often more then 1 person I know who could have done it better or quicker or something improved and that I'm a wonderful substitute otherwise I should return to the wings
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I certainly do have a cruel inner voice and I have taken a couple steps but so far it's just developed a second inner voice that is kinder but isn't always there
And mostly gives me anxiety and something like imposter syndrome and commonly under mines my accomplishments by mentions often more then 1 person I know who could have done it better or quicker or something improved and that I'm a wonderful substitute otherwise I should return to the wings
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WillScarlet16
I am on the autism spectrum, and I've struggled for years to reconcile the fact that I don't perceive things as quick as other people, or in the same way. It makes me hyper-aware of every potential failure when I interact with people, and when I do badly at work or I miss some vital sign my inner voice tells me I've failed at being an adult. My inner voice keeps telling me I'm permanently handicapped, even when others tell me I'm not.
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I am on the autism spectrum, and I've struggled for years to reconcile the fact that I don't perceive things as quick as other people, or in the same way. It makes me hyper-aware of every potential failure when I interact with people, and when I do badly at work or I miss some vital sign my inner voice tells me I've failed at being an adult. My inner voice keeps telling me I'm permanently handicapped, even when others tell me I'm not.
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psych2go
So I used to have problems with this a lot. I worked to when I say negative this about myself that is started to in response compliment myself. After a while started to find that my negative voice just kinda disappeared. My current goal is now to find a while to stop talking about killing myself or others ( don't worry there is no intent behind it but for some reason it is a habit that I can't seem to break)
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So I used to have problems with this a lot. I worked to when I say negative this about myself that is started to in response compliment myself. After a while started to find that my negative voice just kinda disappeared. My current goal is now to find a while to stop talking about killing myself or others ( don't worry there is no intent behind it but for some reason it is a habit that I can't seem to break)
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MissxLariz
My inner voice is the most toxic one it never gives me a compliment it constantly tells me how i did something wrong and im an idiot and makes me doubt my every move. And the worse of all. i never get a break! My inner voice is constantly talking 24/7 and its because my ADD and autism my brain is broken and out of control. I wish there were meds to have silence in my head even if its just for 5 mins.
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My inner voice is the most toxic one it never gives me a compliment it constantly tells me how i did something wrong and im an idiot and makes me doubt my every move. And the worse of all. i never get a break! My inner voice is constantly talking 24/7 and its because my ADD and autism my brain is broken and out of control. I wish there were meds to have silence in my head even if its just for 5 mins.
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