5 Mindsets That Keep You Single
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
education
I'm very introverted and have trouble making friends and being social. It feels like I rarely click with people and then I just don't pursue the social connection further. Idk, it feels alien to me to chat casually and to simply meet up, referring to purely platonic relationships here.
I thought the likelihood of me ever being in a relationship was pretty low, as I don't do dating apps, go to social gatherings, clubs or any places to party.
My hobbies are drawing and reading, ideal introvert activities haha. To satiate the need for friendships and romance I simply gravitated towards fan fiction and fan art of series I came to like.
That's how, when I got interested in a fandom, I joined a discord server and really clicked with one person from another country.
We chatted about other interests and exchanged ideas and plot lines. I never felt so social, despite being in a handful of different fandoms before. Thinking back, I never joined any fandom specific group(chats) before then though.
That was February 2019. Almost three years later, I got confessed to by them and I was so insecure because it's me who they asked? Who in their right mind would like me like that? So I sort of didn't think it was for real, since they said they didn't mean it in a serious way.
There were some hard times and our emotional bond grew closer. Our relationship was and is purely online. We started flirting and sending platonic ) kisses a lot - pretty gay if I think about it now.
It's been almost a year now, since we got together. I had to get over the fear of not being enough and worrying about wasting their time. As long as we both gain comfort and love from this relationship, be it only for a short duration or a longer lasting one, it will be worth it to have tried.
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I'm very introverted and have trouble making friends and being social. It feels like I rarely click with people and then I just don't pursue the social connection further. Idk, it feels alien to me to chat casually and to simply meet up, referring to purely platonic relationships here.
I thought the likelihood of me ever being in a relationship was pretty low, as I don't do dating apps, go to social gatherings, clubs or any places to party.
My hobbies are drawing and reading, ideal introvert activities haha. To satiate the need for friendships and romance I simply gravitated towards fan fiction and fan art of series I came to like.
That's how, when I got interested in a fandom, I joined a discord server and really clicked with one person from another country.
We chatted about other interests and exchanged ideas and plot lines. I never felt so social, despite being in a handful of different fandoms before. Thinking back, I never joined any fandom specific group(chats) before then though.
That was February 2019. Almost three years later, I got confessed to by them and I was so insecure because it's me who they asked? Who in their right mind would like me like that? So I sort of didn't think it was for real, since they said they didn't mean it in a serious way.
There were some hard times and our emotional bond grew closer. Our relationship was and is purely online. We started flirting and sending platonic ) kisses a lot - pretty gay if I think about it now.
It's been almost a year now, since we got together. I had to get over the fear of not being enough and worrying about wasting their time. As long as we both gain comfort and love from this relationship, be it only for a short duration or a longer lasting one, it will be worth it to have tried.
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Daniel
Points 2, 3 and 4 really hits hard
Although at 28 I feel my life is complete and I have accomplished most of my goals I have considered important.
I am still single mostly by choice, I really feel comfortable as it is.
People even think I am a great matchup for any girl.
I must admit I feel like love life it is just not for me.
I have only had one girlfriend and it was terrible and I have been rejected twice.
Coming from a broken family has sabotaged my whole life.
I have been abandoned by people very close to me that even the thought of a ever lasting partner seems weird to me.
I do not like being touched or being close to girls. I am trying to do better here
I try to hug and show more physical love to my female friends but it is still hard for me.
It is funny because I do respect them a lot, I always look after them and help them any way I can
I took care of my grandma until she died and also economically have supported my mother (who is single) for years even though she abandoned me when I was a teenage.
I genuinely think I could be a good loving husband.
And I still get rejected.
My self esteem is almost nonexistent, and everyone saying I am a perfect matchup and that I can get any girl I want makes it worst.
It has been 6 years since a girl has shown interest in me.
Wonder if someone will eventually love me for real.
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Points 2, 3 and 4 really hits hard
Although at 28 I feel my life is complete and I have accomplished most of my goals I have considered important.
I am still single mostly by choice, I really feel comfortable as it is.
People even think I am a great matchup for any girl.
I must admit I feel like love life it is just not for me.
I have only had one girlfriend and it was terrible and I have been rejected twice.
Coming from a broken family has sabotaged my whole life.
I have been abandoned by people very close to me that even the thought of a ever lasting partner seems weird to me.
I do not like being touched or being close to girls. I am trying to do better here
I try to hug and show more physical love to my female friends but it is still hard for me.
It is funny because I do respect them a lot, I always look after them and help them any way I can
I took care of my grandma until she died and also economically have supported my mother (who is single) for years even though she abandoned me when I was a teenage.
I genuinely think I could be a good loving husband.
And I still get rejected.
My self esteem is almost nonexistent, and everyone saying I am a perfect matchup and that I can get any girl I want makes it worst.
It has been 6 years since a girl has shown interest in me.
Wonder if someone will eventually love me for real.
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Raven800
Every relationship I've been in I've been cheated on or dumped, regardless of how understanding, caring or respectful I am. My most recent one was a friend of 14 years where we knew each other for so long and shared so much in common. After a near death experience where I was sent to hospital she asked if I wanted to take our friendship to the next level and I whole heatedly agreed. It was the happiest year of my life. but then she just decided that It wasn't working out and said we started this relationship under bad circumstances when technically she proposed the idea to me and I agreed to it. Before any of that I was literally coming to terms that I was going to die alone. For that whole year she gave me hope that I was wrong. We were happy. but apparently she wasn't happy enough. I'd give anything to have that relationship again. but because she wasn't fully committed it would just end in tragedy again anyways. now I don't know if I'll ever find anyone again. or if I even want to anymore if all it's going to do is bring me more heartache.
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Every relationship I've been in I've been cheated on or dumped, regardless of how understanding, caring or respectful I am. My most recent one was a friend of 14 years where we knew each other for so long and shared so much in common. After a near death experience where I was sent to hospital she asked if I wanted to take our friendship to the next level and I whole heatedly agreed. It was the happiest year of my life. but then she just decided that It wasn't working out and said we started this relationship under bad circumstances when technically she proposed the idea to me and I agreed to it. Before any of that I was literally coming to terms that I was going to die alone. For that whole year she gave me hope that I was wrong. We were happy. but apparently she wasn't happy enough. I'd give anything to have that relationship again. but because she wasn't fully committed it would just end in tragedy again anyways. now I don't know if I'll ever find anyone again. or if I even want to anymore if all it's going to do is bring me more heartache.
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HailAnts
Realizing or even believing that something is 'not your fault' makes no difference. It's like finding out that a car crash you were in was actually caused by a drunk driver. You're still hurt, you still can't walk, the effects of the accident are not changed at all by who's 'fault' it was.
I know that I don't believe in myself at all. I know it was both nature and nurture. None of this helps. I have zero self-esteem. I do not have the most basic abilities required to even think about starting a relationship. I cannot even say the words date or dating or girlfriend even to myself, without cringing. I know their significance and I know I'm not worthy enough to even say or think those words to myself.
And I am incomplete without a relationship, I want one more than anything in the world. Always have. It didn't work out for my parents, I am terrified at being abandoned and feel I already have been, I absolutely know without a doubt that I'm damaged, severely, and I am still waiting for the one, though not realistically really.
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Realizing or even believing that something is 'not your fault' makes no difference. It's like finding out that a car crash you were in was actually caused by a drunk driver. You're still hurt, you still can't walk, the effects of the accident are not changed at all by who's 'fault' it was.
I know that I don't believe in myself at all. I know it was both nature and nurture. None of this helps. I have zero self-esteem. I do not have the most basic abilities required to even think about starting a relationship. I cannot even say the words date or dating or girlfriend even to myself, without cringing. I know their significance and I know I'm not worthy enough to even say or think those words to myself.
And I am incomplete without a relationship, I want one more than anything in the world. Always have. It didn't work out for my parents, I am terrified at being abandoned and feel I already have been, I absolutely know without a doubt that I'm damaged, severely, and I am still waiting for the one, though not realistically really.
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PhillyCh3zSt3ak
Point 3 really hit home with me, but not because of family dynamics. My family has been great and pretty much always has been. It's been with my friend groups.
Not to go too deep into it, because I certainly can, but I was bullied growing up for what I suspect was me being the principal's kid. Later in high school I was accused of something I never did and lost all the people I considered friends and later the same thing almost happened a second time at a separate school after I moved. Lastly my ex did some real manipulative stuff that would be considered emotionally abusive (threatening suicide, false pregnancy scares, etc. This has really screwed up me being able to make new friends and approach random people just in general, let alone women. This stuff happened in excess of 10 years ago at this point and some of those echos still haunt me today.
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Point 3 really hit home with me, but not because of family dynamics. My family has been great and pretty much always has been. It's been with my friend groups.
Not to go too deep into it, because I certainly can, but I was bullied growing up for what I suspect was me being the principal's kid. Later in high school I was accused of something I never did and lost all the people I considered friends and later the same thing almost happened a second time at a separate school after I moved. Lastly my ex did some real manipulative stuff that would be considered emotionally abusive (threatening suicide, false pregnancy scares, etc. This has really screwed up me being able to make new friends and approach random people just in general, let alone women. This stuff happened in excess of 10 years ago at this point and some of those echos still haunt me today.
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ActuallyTolo
All of these hit somewhat close to home, but with therapy I am working on changing myself and how I think. I don't think I need a relationship, I enjoy being alone, but sometimes the loneliness is overwhelming. Abandonment does scare me, but I have started accepting that people sometimes come and go. While I do have emotional and mental health problems due to a broken childhood, I wouldn't say I am broken more incomplete like some puzzle pieces are missing.
I have learned how to start setting boundaries and being happier and I focus more on my goals since my last relationship. I really just have to work on my stubbornness and emotional regulation a bit more. I do not want a perfect partner, but I do want someone who is also a friend and not just a lover. Someone who understands me and someone to build something with.
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All of these hit somewhat close to home, but with therapy I am working on changing myself and how I think. I don't think I need a relationship, I enjoy being alone, but sometimes the loneliness is overwhelming. Abandonment does scare me, but I have started accepting that people sometimes come and go. While I do have emotional and mental health problems due to a broken childhood, I wouldn't say I am broken more incomplete like some puzzle pieces are missing.
I have learned how to start setting boundaries and being happier and I focus more on my goals since my last relationship. I really just have to work on my stubbornness and emotional regulation a bit more. I do not want a perfect partner, but I do want someone who is also a friend and not just a lover. Someone who understands me and someone to build something with.
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Mateusz
There is no such thing as love. It's just a soothing word created to call a mix of emotions, feelings and hormonal reactions, which all go away quite quickly.
Now for the reasons - it's simple, realy: you just don't meet the ever growing minimal standards formed by majority of society, to even be conaidered a human/person. As they are ever growing, you will never reach the minimal level of having the slightest chance for event being conaidered talked to like a being with feelings, much less something more.
And don't get me started on unequal rights and how it's a dead law.
It's a fairy tale. It's dangerous to try. People and institutions will always care for the other one and your suffering will be downplayed on, riddiculed and ignored completly.
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There is no such thing as love. It's just a soothing word created to call a mix of emotions, feelings and hormonal reactions, which all go away quite quickly.
Now for the reasons - it's simple, realy: you just don't meet the ever growing minimal standards formed by majority of society, to even be conaidered a human/person. As they are ever growing, you will never reach the minimal level of having the slightest chance for event being conaidered talked to like a being with feelings, much less something more.
And don't get me started on unequal rights and how it's a dead law.
It's a fairy tale. It's dangerous to try. People and institutions will always care for the other one and your suffering will be downplayed on, riddiculed and ignored completly.
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GB
Interesting video, just a simple disagreement (and I'm ready to be proven wrong)
The harm other people brought upon you was never your fault
I agree that it's not mainly our fault, but we're responsible for letting this person in our life. I know more than one person who's going from a violent relationship to another, and if they're choosing each and every time someone who's physically and/or mentally abusive, they're also partially responsible for what happen to them.
We need to be accountable with ourself about who we choose, else we will continue picking manipulative and violent people in our life.
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Interesting video, just a simple disagreement (and I'm ready to be proven wrong)
The harm other people brought upon you was never your fault
I agree that it's not mainly our fault, but we're responsible for letting this person in our life. I know more than one person who's going from a violent relationship to another, and if they're choosing each and every time someone who's physically and/or mentally abusive, they're also partially responsible for what happen to them.
We need to be accountable with ourself about who we choose, else we will continue picking manipulative and violent people in our life.
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Voron
whilst certainly a few of these points are factors in my life my largest struggle is the fact it seems that anyone I meet that I'm interested in as more than a friend are either already in a relationship or prefer their own gender.
heck point 5 actually came along my path reminding me of the compromises I've made over the years to accept that I would be alone forever if I'd keep those at the time seemingly unrealistic standards, but again she's already in a relationship, so even meeting that absolute perfect connection on both sides just ends up being more salt in my wounds
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whilst certainly a few of these points are factors in my life my largest struggle is the fact it seems that anyone I meet that I'm interested in as more than a friend are either already in a relationship or prefer their own gender.
heck point 5 actually came along my path reminding me of the compromises I've made over the years to accept that I would be alone forever if I'd keep those at the time seemingly unrealistic standards, but again she's already in a relationship, so even meeting that absolute perfect connection on both sides just ends up being more salt in my wounds
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Charles
After being in a relationship for 15yrs watching it turn toxic from her cheating I'm trying to come to terms with accepting I'm going to die alone. Trying to start dating close to 40 with the way the phony woke world is now with it's modern feminist ideals of non monogamy shows me more and more it won't happen. All I ever wanted was a family with a child of my own and a wife that loves me. All I got was someone who left me and took the child I loved even if she wasn't my biological child. Probably just end it soon.
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After being in a relationship for 15yrs watching it turn toxic from her cheating I'm trying to come to terms with accepting I'm going to die alone. Trying to start dating close to 40 with the way the phony woke world is now with it's modern feminist ideals of non monogamy shows me more and more it won't happen. All I ever wanted was a family with a child of my own and a wife that loves me. All I got was someone who left me and took the child I loved even if she wasn't my biological child. Probably just end it soon.
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Jane
From someone who doesn't care for pu### and or s## love lost itself on me for a while till I can figure out life for myself. Coming from felon to homeless to can't afford a car but still live in a house, I am taking time to try and improve this twenty something old body to try and live with myself for putting titles on my name no partner may look past. I may want to be loved, but being lonely and trying to be someone to a possible future love if any? Maybe one day, if not, I died trying and crying
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From someone who doesn't care for pu### and or s## love lost itself on me for a while till I can figure out life for myself. Coming from felon to homeless to can't afford a car but still live in a house, I am taking time to try and improve this twenty something old body to try and live with myself for putting titles on my name no partner may look past. I may want to be loved, but being lonely and trying to be someone to a possible future love if any? Maybe one day, if not, I died trying and crying
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education
I am not even single yet i can relate with everything. Perhaps it's because even though i am in a relationship(LDR), it doesn't actually feel like one. I still feel lonely and distant. It is not even her fault, she tells me all the time how close i am too her yet the feeling is not mutual. I think i am not programmed to be close to someone.
P. s: I am planning to break up after about a month. This relationship is only Makin her suffer and nothing hurts me more.
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I am not even single yet i can relate with everything. Perhaps it's because even though i am in a relationship(LDR), it doesn't actually feel like one. I still feel lonely and distant. It is not even her fault, she tells me all the time how close i am too her yet the feeling is not mutual. I think i am not programmed to be close to someone.
P. s: I am planning to break up after about a month. This relationship is only Makin her suffer and nothing hurts me more.
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Darkizer
i have crush at someone at the gym. she literally beside me everyday (i think it's already almost 1 month. i want to ask her, just want to be friends first. but i'm scared it'll bother her workout and end up keeping distance with me (being honest, the reason i workout so hard because i don't want to lose to her, if she taking distance, probably i gonna slacking off again. till today i still waiting for the right timing (event) to start conversation with her.
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i have crush at someone at the gym. she literally beside me everyday (i think it's already almost 1 month. i want to ask her, just want to be friends first. but i'm scared it'll bother her workout and end up keeping distance with me (being honest, the reason i workout so hard because i don't want to lose to her, if she taking distance, probably i gonna slacking off again. till today i still waiting for the right timing (event) to start conversation with her.
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Psychology
I was never enough. I have my flaws what seems more than enough women are looking for more than me. I see myself as less than a man, never being good enough. I live on disability, don't drive, have no job, and on top of that, have a foot fetish. I was never good enough, and believe that I won't find a love that only seeks to break my heart. People like me can't have love. Too many are about what they can gain, materials and stuff. Society is broken.
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I was never enough. I have my flaws what seems more than enough women are looking for more than me. I see myself as less than a man, never being good enough. I live on disability, don't drive, have no job, and on top of that, have a foot fetish. I was never good enough, and believe that I won't find a love that only seeks to break my heart. People like me can't have love. Too many are about what they can gain, materials and stuff. Society is broken.
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KinzakuGaming
One thing I find annoying is seeing love and relationships all around me and Ive yet to even get one. I really just want to know what its like, I hear a lot of, Its not worth it. or Its not all its hyped up to be. I would honestly like to know for myself. Its just difficult to work on yourself when youve been rejected and lied to by all of the individuals youve taken interest in.
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One thing I find annoying is seeing love and relationships all around me and Ive yet to even get one. I really just want to know what its like, I hear a lot of, Its not worth it. or Its not all its hyped up to be. I would honestly like to know for myself. Its just difficult to work on yourself when youve been rejected and lied to by all of the individuals youve taken interest in.
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tailgunner2
3: 10
Overly self-reliant? That's a good one.
It's called independent and self-sufficient. We work real jobs, repair our own property, and handle domestic chores ourselves.
What may appear to be attachment issues is in reality is a simple lack of incentive to seek out the company of others. All we ask is a good reason why to seek others out and we will do it.
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3: 10
Overly self-reliant? That's a good one.
It's called independent and self-sufficient. We work real jobs, repair our own property, and handle domestic chores ourselves.
What may appear to be attachment issues is in reality is a simple lack of incentive to seek out the company of others. All we ask is a good reason why to seek others out and we will do it.
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Sunari
Fear of change and laziness are the biggest things holding me back. I am happy, however, that I've lost that sense of needing one I had in my younger years (or that I should have one and thus a failure for not. I'm quite happy with my family and friends, and if someone should someday come along I hope I'm not too oblivious to recognize it lol
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Fear of change and laziness are the biggest things holding me back. I am happy, however, that I've lost that sense of needing one I had in my younger years (or that I should have one and thus a failure for not. I'm quite happy with my family and friends, and if someone should someday come along I hope I'm not too oblivious to recognize it lol
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jim
Nice theories, but in the end if no one is interested in you, your personal belief system won't matter. Even the title of the video and basic premise are flawed, because it assumes that anyone is trying to get anywhere near you. There is a larger social problem at work that no one is recognizing, except the unfortunate dudes suffering from it.
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Nice theories, but in the end if no one is interested in you, your personal belief system won't matter. Even the title of the video and basic premise are flawed, because it assumes that anyone is trying to get anywhere near you. There is a larger social problem at work that no one is recognizing, except the unfortunate dudes suffering from it.
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ScrubbbsyBoy844
Im not searching for a relationship, but I cant stand the constant feeling of loneliness thats eating away at me every day. I understand that being in a relationship wont fix all of my problems, but I dont know, I think it would be cool to be in one. Though, Im afraid of hurting others. And, thats how the cycle continues.
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Im not searching for a relationship, but I cant stand the constant feeling of loneliness thats eating away at me every day. I understand that being in a relationship wont fix all of my problems, but I dont know, I think it would be cool to be in one. Though, Im afraid of hurting others. And, thats how the cycle continues.
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Master
The only thing your dysfunctional relationships have in common is you.
My first couple of relationships were bad ideas that were obvious to everyone around me but nobody stopped me. I fell hard, and fell out harder. At this point, it's no longer worth the risk. I make poor choices, and poor choices are all that are left.
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The only thing your dysfunctional relationships have in common is you.
My first couple of relationships were bad ideas that were obvious to everyone around me but nobody stopped me. I fell hard, and fell out harder. At this point, it's no longer worth the risk. I make poor choices, and poor choices are all that are left.
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Vipera217
you won't be able to love others if you can't love yourself. i took it as I'm not permitted to love someone if i don't better myself. i hate myself so much that i just simply say i no longer have the luxury nor rights to love. and i will reject everything that comes my way to spare people the trouble of being with me
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you won't be able to love others if you can't love yourself. i took it as I'm not permitted to love someone if i don't better myself. i hate myself so much that i just simply say i no longer have the luxury nor rights to love. and i will reject everything that comes my way to spare people the trouble of being with me
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Joe
After a few failed (holds back a laugh) or maybe the lack of
And like that I lost a ton of respect there are a lot of people who have only ever been alone. You want to make a video, how about make one on dealing with disfigurement or just being generally ugly and unwanted while being a social creature.
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After a few failed (holds back a laugh) or maybe the lack of
And like that I lost a ton of respect there are a lot of people who have only ever been alone. You want to make a video, how about make one on dealing with disfigurement or just being generally ugly and unwanted while being a social creature.
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Nicholas
I just turned 30 last month and I've been single my whole life. I've never been in any kind of relationship and I couldn't be happier about it. I choose to be single and I feel it's the easier way to go through life. It's like what they say. if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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I just turned 30 last month and I've been single my whole life. I've never been in any kind of relationship and I couldn't be happier about it. I choose to be single and I feel it's the easier way to go through life. It's like what they say. if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
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Naruhito
Just don't get this public enforcement of beliefs, youre supposed to NOT care about relationships when your single, but you're supposed to PRIORITIZE relationships when you're in one. That doesn't make logical sense. You wouldn't want the relationship if you didn't care
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Just don't get this public enforcement of beliefs, youre supposed to NOT care about relationships when your single, but you're supposed to PRIORITIZE relationships when you're in one. That doesn't make logical sense. You wouldn't want the relationship if you didn't care
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Mr
I feel that I just give bad energy to people other than my family, I feel that I'm not only purposely making people stand clear from em, but I think I have an negative energy that just makes people not wanna interact with me even if I do my best to interact with others.
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I feel that I just give bad energy to people other than my family, I feel that I'm not only purposely making people stand clear from em, but I think I have an negative energy that just makes people not wanna interact with me even if I do my best to interact with others.
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