Why You're Not Attracting Anyone (And What To Do Instead)
video description
Date: 2025-02-15
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 20
AlEn-zf2kp
I’m kinda alright with all of these, maybe not quite as much in the self confidence aspect. The problem I have is that I’m a scary introvert, friends words, not mine. I naturally have a RBF and I don’t like social situations in the slightest, which kinda makes it hard for me to be attractive to anyone. It doesn’t help that I don’t talk much or interact with people around me unless they talk first.
Also Autism is not a superpower, it’s annoying when I over share, humiliating when I can’t read the room, and just when I think I’m doing okay, someone brings up a special interest of mine then gets weirded out when I ramble about everything that I know about it instead of make the light comment that they expect, it sucks.
It’s not like I don’t talk at all either, once someone talks to me I can have a productive conversation. I just don’t know how to get rid of the scary image I portray.
The only reason I’ve even had a girlfriend before was because she liked it, and I was masking. When I told her I have autism, she said she didn’t care but once I started to actually de-mask and stim and get engrossed with my interests she thought it was weird and said I wasn’t spending enough time with her. I was there, at school, or at work, I was only at home to eat and sleep at the end of the day and never came home weekends. After that she learned that I wasn’t as scary as she thought and tried to piss me off so that I would be. I’m glad we only lasted two months for my sake, but I genuinely feel like that how all my relationships will go.
TLDR: How do I stop looking scary while I’m a silent, autistic, 6’1, 180lbs dude with a RBF I’ve tried talking more, putting on a different expression and even not masking at all which wasn’t fun.
I need advice
reply
I’m kinda alright with all of these, maybe not quite as much in the self confidence aspect. The problem I have is that I’m a scary introvert, friends words, not mine. I naturally have a RBF and I don’t like social situations in the slightest, which kinda makes it hard for me to be attractive to anyone. It doesn’t help that I don’t talk much or interact with people around me unless they talk first.
Also Autism is not a superpower, it’s annoying when I over share, humiliating when I can’t read the room, and just when I think I’m doing okay, someone brings up a special interest of mine then gets weirded out when I ramble about everything that I know about it instead of make the light comment that they expect, it sucks.
It’s not like I don’t talk at all either, once someone talks to me I can have a productive conversation. I just don’t know how to get rid of the scary image I portray.
The only reason I’ve even had a girlfriend before was because she liked it, and I was masking. When I told her I have autism, she said she didn’t care but once I started to actually de-mask and stim and get engrossed with my interests she thought it was weird and said I wasn’t spending enough time with her. I was there, at school, or at work, I was only at home to eat and sleep at the end of the day and never came home weekends. After that she learned that I wasn’t as scary as she thought and tried to piss me off so that I would be. I’m glad we only lasted two months for my sake, but I genuinely feel like that how all my relationships will go.
TLDR: How do I stop looking scary while I’m a silent, autistic, 6’1, 180lbs dude with a RBF I’ve tried talking more, putting on a different expression and even not masking at all which wasn’t fun.
I need advice
reply
psych2go
Yeah (2 breakups about the connections I made and acted ridiculously to face them)
1. I miss this so much but becoming prouder and prouder regardless of the haters. I might be alone but I don't expect to live to be manipulated.
2. Yeah of course. Somehow, I've so many negative thoughts about marriage life already. So, it's more than fear of rejection.
3. I agree and should change this. You mentioned the reason why I hate the culture that I'm in because people think that they can do whatever they want for their religion or whatever despite its legacy.
4. It's full of traumas and wish to be rebellious against them through art. Somehow, am I getting a reason to get stoned
5. My communication is something so ed up. Although, I don't know what to do because it appears weird. Somehow, after few seconds of silence, they leave. Also, why do I feel like I don't have enough money(symbolically) to donate for the maintenance of love
reply
Yeah (2 breakups about the connections I made and acted ridiculously to face them)
1. I miss this so much but becoming prouder and prouder regardless of the haters. I might be alone but I don't expect to live to be manipulated.
2. Yeah of course. Somehow, I've so many negative thoughts about marriage life already. So, it's more than fear of rejection.
3. I agree and should change this. You mentioned the reason why I hate the culture that I'm in because people think that they can do whatever they want for their religion or whatever despite its legacy.
4. It's full of traumas and wish to be rebellious against them through art. Somehow, am I getting a reason to get stoned
5. My communication is something so ed up. Although, I don't know what to do because it appears weird. Somehow, after few seconds of silence, they leave. Also, why do I feel like I don't have enough money(symbolically) to donate for the maintenance of love
reply
-Ajcool-
The small issue with this is that based on what I see in society, and what seems to be the case usually, people only do seem to care about physical appearance, money, fame, etc.
For the rare people (including myself) who don't care about those things much and rather see someone for how they really are, having mutual bonds where both people are truly happy etc, it seems to be impossible to find due to how people seem to actually act. Even if we did continue these things, it still is just so difficult and just ends up becoming hopeless in our perspective.
Truly a harsh reality that those who use others can achieve what they desire, while those seeking truth and actual happiness that isn't just a one-sided goal never seem to get it.
This world has become really twisted the more I think about it. And days such as Valentines Day don't even feel so real anymore.
reply
The small issue with this is that based on what I see in society, and what seems to be the case usually, people only do seem to care about physical appearance, money, fame, etc.
For the rare people (including myself) who don't care about those things much and rather see someone for how they really are, having mutual bonds where both people are truly happy etc, it seems to be impossible to find due to how people seem to actually act. Even if we did continue these things, it still is just so difficult and just ends up becoming hopeless in our perspective.
Truly a harsh reality that those who use others can achieve what they desire, while those seeking truth and actual happiness that isn't just a one-sided goal never seem to get it.
This world has become really twisted the more I think about it. And days such as Valentines Day don't even feel so real anymore.
reply
sirtom3011
We cannot talk about this for both genders at all in the same way.
In most cases, it’s completely opposite.
For men, we have the WHOLE MANOSPHERE RED PILL COMMUNITY SCREEEAMING at the top of their lungs right now. EVERY MAN knows 50x more than they used to about female nature and what they really want.
None of this is here in the video even though it’s absolutely correct.
You never mentioned any of the things in the manosphere, so I guess it’s a video for women.
You should frame it that way because if you don’t, something is offguys won’t trust your advice for other video as an resultright
Share your true thoughts and feelings lol wow.
Yeah definitly a video for women. If men did that humanity would go extinct.
reply
We cannot talk about this for both genders at all in the same way.
In most cases, it’s completely opposite.
For men, we have the WHOLE MANOSPHERE RED PILL COMMUNITY SCREEEAMING at the top of their lungs right now. EVERY MAN knows 50x more than they used to about female nature and what they really want.
None of this is here in the video even though it’s absolutely correct.
You never mentioned any of the things in the manosphere, so I guess it’s a video for women.
You should frame it that way because if you don’t, something is offguys won’t trust your advice for other video as an resultright
Share your true thoughts and feelings lol wow.
Yeah definitly a video for women. If men did that humanity would go extinct.
reply
CaptainChubbyDuck
Im 33, autistic and virgin. I tried everything. I could work more on my confidence and self-love, but it feels like its moure aobut how to flirt, or something. Never had any relationships, women always stop replying or removing me on dating sites and I always get rejected IRL. It feels like I tried everything including reading most tips and tricks, I just dont understand anything. I dont even think any woman has ever been attracted to me. Not even the slightest interest, they never look my way etc. I can befriend girls and make themn laugh often, but they never like me the same way, and they keep telling me how they only like me as a friend. Im giving up, Feels like I tried everything its just not possible.
reply
Im 33, autistic and virgin. I tried everything. I could work more on my confidence and self-love, but it feels like its moure aobut how to flirt, or something. Never had any relationships, women always stop replying or removing me on dating sites and I always get rejected IRL. It feels like I tried everything including reading most tips and tricks, I just dont understand anything. I dont even think any woman has ever been attracted to me. Not even the slightest interest, they never look my way etc. I can befriend girls and make themn laugh often, but they never like me the same way, and they keep telling me how they only like me as a friend. Im giving up, Feels like I tried everything its just not possible.
reply
wubslicer9021
I remember struggling with my self confidence (and I still do) when it comes to dating, thinking that I'm not good looking enough or too weird or whatever for anyone to see me as a partner, but in hindsight, I also think it was because I just wasn't mentally in a good place back then, and I'm still trying to figure myself out and thinking what EXACTLY am I looking for in a partner Maybe I am judgemental of other people's looks as much as I thought others were of me back then, without even realizing it, so as much as being in a relationship seems fun, I feel like I should really sit down and think about what I want out of myself and the world, happy valentines, folks: )
reply
I remember struggling with my self confidence (and I still do) when it comes to dating, thinking that I'm not good looking enough or too weird or whatever for anyone to see me as a partner, but in hindsight, I also think it was because I just wasn't mentally in a good place back then, and I'm still trying to figure myself out and thinking what EXACTLY am I looking for in a partner Maybe I am judgemental of other people's looks as much as I thought others were of me back then, without even realizing it, so as much as being in a relationship seems fun, I feel like I should really sit down and think about what I want out of myself and the world, happy valentines, folks: )
reply
assassinguida
First time commenting, got a pretty couple of relationship that messed pretty hard my capacity of talking with a girl leaving me alone for 8 years, this year i Met a girl in my workplace, Is the First time in al this years that Is simple to speak to a girl, that is simple to find the words, to smile and to laught, but She has a boyfriend that Is in a long distance relationship, and i don't really know if Is right to make a move cause Is the First girl to make me actually Happy that i've ever Met, but the fear to lose even She as a good friend leave me freezed, in 3 months the contract Will expire and maybe these are my last chance, literally don't know what to do
reply
First time commenting, got a pretty couple of relationship that messed pretty hard my capacity of talking with a girl leaving me alone for 8 years, this year i Met a girl in my workplace, Is the First time in al this years that Is simple to speak to a girl, that is simple to find the words, to smile and to laught, but She has a boyfriend that Is in a long distance relationship, and i don't really know if Is right to make a move cause Is the First girl to make me actually Happy that i've ever Met, but the fear to lose even She as a good friend leave me freezed, in 3 months the contract Will expire and maybe these are my last chance, literally don't know what to do
reply
Stardrop-luck
I'm tired and i think I'm just gonna give up cuz love always diappoints me, the people i like almost never like me back and when they do show interest it's cuz they just wanna have a good time but not commit to anything, this has been the story of my life for as long as i can remember.
even though I'm a romantic I'm starting to think I'm just ment to be alone.
I've even helped my friends with their relationship issues and always gave them advice that seems to work for them but it never goes well for me, I'm tired and just wish i didn't have any sort of romantic feelings at least then i wouldn't be so unhappy.
reply
I'm tired and i think I'm just gonna give up cuz love always diappoints me, the people i like almost never like me back and when they do show interest it's cuz they just wanna have a good time but not commit to anything, this has been the story of my life for as long as i can remember.
even though I'm a romantic I'm starting to think I'm just ment to be alone.
I've even helped my friends with their relationship issues and always gave them advice that seems to work for them but it never goes well for me, I'm tired and just wish i didn't have any sort of romantic feelings at least then i wouldn't be so unhappy.
reply
domihase8148
For me I've learned that a single compliment placed at the right time hits much deeper than a constant stream of compliments and affirmation. I told a female friend of mine who I fell in love with, how great or attractive she is and how proud of her I am at any chance something came up in this regard. In hindsight I think she didn't really beleave me or didn't care anymore. Of course she didn't pick me as her boyfriend. While I got major depression because of this (I had to seclude myself from my friend groups, she picked a good friend of mine I introduced her to. Life has a strange and ironic sense of humor.
reply
For me I've learned that a single compliment placed at the right time hits much deeper than a constant stream of compliments and affirmation. I told a female friend of mine who I fell in love with, how great or attractive she is and how proud of her I am at any chance something came up in this regard. In hindsight I think she didn't really beleave me or didn't care anymore. Of course she didn't pick me as her boyfriend. While I got major depression because of this (I had to seclude myself from my friend groups, she picked a good friend of mine I introduced her to. Life has a strange and ironic sense of humor.
reply
AntiCupido40000
There are a lot of 30 years old men saying they are kissless hugless virgins
How so
There's must be something deeply wrong with your personality.
I don't get it
Also, they're saying they will be alone forever
That's not true
There is somebody for everybody out there
I mean, I know this guys who's a complete douchebag who met this short girl
But that guy is way taller than her and a little more attractive as well like he mogs her a little bit but he has a bad personality, and he's never alone. Also, he never talks that much. Just go out there and meet people.
reply
There are a lot of 30 years old men saying they are kissless hugless virgins
How so
There's must be something deeply wrong with your personality.
I don't get it
Also, they're saying they will be alone forever
That's not true
There is somebody for everybody out there
I mean, I know this guys who's a complete douchebag who met this short girl
But that guy is way taller than her and a little more attractive as well like he mogs her a little bit but he has a bad personality, and he's never alone. Also, he never talks that much. Just go out there and meet people.
reply
ABAZ_24
I told my crush today that I liked him.
I thought it would go well because, generally, I tend to be the person who gets talked to and talks to others a lot.
It DID go well, but he just said that he didn't feel the same (I got friend-zoned, basically, and yet, he wasn't harsh about it.
He even said that my message made his day, and that we could still be friends.
I don't want to be friends. I never thought of us as friends, actually. I didn't realize that he saw us this way until today happened.
But DAMN, never have ever I been so happy to have been rejected.
reply
I told my crush today that I liked him.
I thought it would go well because, generally, I tend to be the person who gets talked to and talks to others a lot.
It DID go well, but he just said that he didn't feel the same (I got friend-zoned, basically, and yet, he wasn't harsh about it.
He even said that my message made his day, and that we could still be friends.
I don't want to be friends. I never thought of us as friends, actually. I didn't realize that he saw us this way until today happened.
But DAMN, never have ever I been so happy to have been rejected.
reply
psych2go
Reasons I have a hard time finding love or connecting with others on an emotional level
-Autistic behavior
-Desire for freedom and independence
-I rely more on logic than emotions
-Fear of getting together with the wrong person and ending up miserable
-Desire for a connection that transcends superficial attraction
-Need for intellectual stimulation and shared interests
-I want to be in a relationship for genuine fulfillment and not to seek attention or validation from societal expectations
reply
Reasons I have a hard time finding love or connecting with others on an emotional level
-Autistic behavior
-Desire for freedom and independence
-I rely more on logic than emotions
-Fear of getting together with the wrong person and ending up miserable
-Desire for a connection that transcends superficial attraction
-Need for intellectual stimulation and shared interests
-I want to be in a relationship for genuine fulfillment and not to seek attention or validation from societal expectations
reply
Poorvanshvlogs-k2r
No matter how hard I worked, nothing ever changed. I was stuck, watching others get what I wanted with half the effort. I thought maybe I just wasn’t meant for success. Then I found Vibrations of Manifestation by Alex Lane. It took me days to track it down, but after reading it, my entire perspective shifted. This book isn’t just about positive thinking, it’s about rewiring your energy. If you’ve ever felt trapped in the same cycle, you might want to look for it
reply
No matter how hard I worked, nothing ever changed. I was stuck, watching others get what I wanted with half the effort. I thought maybe I just wasn’t meant for success. Then I found Vibrations of Manifestation by Alex Lane. It took me days to track it down, but after reading it, my entire perspective shifted. This book isn’t just about positive thinking, it’s about rewiring your energy. If you’ve ever felt trapped in the same cycle, you might want to look for it
reply
manjulagogoi1163
i was tired of struggling while other people made success look easy. thought maybe i was just unlucky. then i found Vibrations of Manifestation by alex lane. or more like, i spent days trying to find it. when i finally read it, i understood why it’s not easy to get. this book isn’t just theory, it actually explains why some people attract everything while others stay stuck. changed one thing, and my results flipped fast. if you can find it, don’t sleep on it
reply
i was tired of struggling while other people made success look easy. thought maybe i was just unlucky. then i found Vibrations of Manifestation by alex lane. or more like, i spent days trying to find it. when i finally read it, i understood why it’s not easy to get. this book isn’t just theory, it actually explains why some people attract everything while others stay stuck. changed one thing, and my results flipped fast. if you can find it, don’t sleep on it
reply
Krishnamurmu-k4l
i used to think manifestation was a scam. tried everythingaffirmations, vision boards, scriptingbut nothing changed. felt like life was working against me. then i heard about Vibrations of Manifestation by alex lane. took forever to find, but when i did, everything clicked. it explains why most people stay stuck and how to actually shift your energy. after reading it, i stopped chasing and things started coming to me. if you ever come across it, don’t ignore it
reply
i used to think manifestation was a scam. tried everythingaffirmations, vision boards, scriptingbut nothing changed. felt like life was working against me. then i heard about Vibrations of Manifestation by alex lane. took forever to find, but when i did, everything clicked. it explains why most people stay stuck and how to actually shift your energy. after reading it, i stopped chasing and things started coming to me. if you ever come across it, don’t ignore it
reply
d012k-n5t
Luckily I live in Utah and there's not a whole lot of competition. All the guys are too cowardly to ask out the girls. And the ones who do get asked out are all the stereotypical cheerleader / Barbie type. So I don't really have too much competition especially with the girl I have a crush on who does not live up to those standards.
Which is good for me, not so good for my other dudes though, they're only after the stereotypes. Who are arguably some of the worst ones
reply
Luckily I live in Utah and there's not a whole lot of competition. All the guys are too cowardly to ask out the girls. And the ones who do get asked out are all the stereotypical cheerleader / Barbie type. So I don't really have too much competition especially with the girl I have a crush on who does not live up to those standards.
Which is good for me, not so good for my other dudes though, they're only after the stereotypes. Who are arguably some of the worst ones
reply
psych2go
We attract what we are.
The more dysfunctional we are, that's what we attract.
I think it's more important to work on ourselves and all our own issues first.
Otherwise we keep the negative cycle going.
We can't take care of anyone else, until we prioritize and take of ourselves first.
We also need to be content with our own lives first, since no one else can make us happy, nor is it their job.
We have to do that for ourselves.
reply
We attract what we are.
The more dysfunctional we are, that's what we attract.
I think it's more important to work on ourselves and all our own issues first.
Otherwise we keep the negative cycle going.
We can't take care of anyone else, until we prioritize and take of ourselves first.
We also need to be content with our own lives first, since no one else can make us happy, nor is it their job.
We have to do that for ourselves.
reply
A55a551n
Timestamps
1. Confidence and self-acceptance 0: 37
2. Too scared to make a move 1: 41
3. Authenticity over appearance 2: 26
4. Your life story shapes your self-belief 3: 55
5. Check your communication skills 4: 41
6. Not playing hard to get 5: 36
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. Happy valentine's to everyone who sees this comment.
reply
Timestamps
1. Confidence and self-acceptance 0: 37
2. Too scared to make a move 1: 41
3. Authenticity over appearance 2: 26
4. Your life story shapes your self-belief 3: 55
5. Check your communication skills 4: 41
6. Not playing hard to get 5: 36
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. Happy valentine's to everyone who sees this comment.
reply
MiniSwirlmusic
The fear of rejection one is my main thing. Already got rejected by someone, but things are going in the positive direction now. It's a very unique and delicate situation, so I'm trying to be cautious because she's a close friend of mine, and I don't want the whole thing to blow up in my face. Kinda just going with the flow and trying not to push it.
reply
The fear of rejection one is my main thing. Already got rejected by someone, but things are going in the positive direction now. It's a very unique and delicate situation, so I'm trying to be cautious because she's a close friend of mine, and I don't want the whole thing to blow up in my face. Kinda just going with the flow and trying not to push it.
reply
vortexizinho2588
I think I'm kind attractive, I know how to write poems, and how to write music, this year I'm working even more on my skills and myself, turning myself into a better person, and I believe that it doesn't really matter where you live, who you are, you can better yourself in anyway possible, and it will make you more attractive and better
reply
I think I'm kind attractive, I know how to write poems, and how to write music, this year I'm working even more on my skills and myself, turning myself into a better person, and I believe that it doesn't really matter where you live, who you are, you can better yourself in anyway possible, and it will make you more attractive and better
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
