What Touch Starvation Does To Your Mind
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Date: 2025-02-15
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Comments and reviews: 20
angepayne5648
The last time I had a genuine hug, not from a goodbye or some sort of pain, like a loved one passing away, was in the end of 2023, and even before since way earlier that year. I spend quite a lot of time on VR Chat, nowadays. It gives me a social life that I need. It means everything to me to have someone I can be with and to love, even if it's long distance, but the cuddles and embrace I get on there, although it does help, it can never do as much as I need that I can only get from someone really, physically there.
I hardly have anyone to be with in person, even my partner isn't the kind to embrace often at all, though I don't like her any less for it and I understand why, I feel like I live inside a bubble in my own room. There's hardly anywhere to go, the winter is too cold to go outside, I have no money to do much of anything with or without another, and I haven't been able to get any kind of in-person friendship.
I am someone who loves hugs like there's no tomorrow. They give me so much comfort, joy, and reassurance, just about every time I'd have one with anyone, really. Not having even one genuine hug in so long, it actually hurts physically, my body shakes, my arms start to move in towards my chest the moment I feel anything enter that area of my body. The only thing that has even slightly dampened that outside of virtual hugs, is squeezing my hands, and only for a brief moment.
I can't really even leave to go find anyone because both legally and for safety concerns I can't. The US wants me dead, hurt, whatever, here in Canada I'm having a hard time getting citizenship, and some sort of income to travel What even is that at this point I feel so stuck, and I can't even feel fully reassured because I can't. I just want to be with someone so bad, but I just don't know what to do. My best MAYBE solution is to sit and let time pass, maybe things will get better if I just wait. And, yet, I've been waiting 16 months, and that was even right after a living hell. I just want to feel someone I care about, even one.
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The last time I had a genuine hug, not from a goodbye or some sort of pain, like a loved one passing away, was in the end of 2023, and even before since way earlier that year. I spend quite a lot of time on VR Chat, nowadays. It gives me a social life that I need. It means everything to me to have someone I can be with and to love, even if it's long distance, but the cuddles and embrace I get on there, although it does help, it can never do as much as I need that I can only get from someone really, physically there.
I hardly have anyone to be with in person, even my partner isn't the kind to embrace often at all, though I don't like her any less for it and I understand why, I feel like I live inside a bubble in my own room. There's hardly anywhere to go, the winter is too cold to go outside, I have no money to do much of anything with or without another, and I haven't been able to get any kind of in-person friendship.
I am someone who loves hugs like there's no tomorrow. They give me so much comfort, joy, and reassurance, just about every time I'd have one with anyone, really. Not having even one genuine hug in so long, it actually hurts physically, my body shakes, my arms start to move in towards my chest the moment I feel anything enter that area of my body. The only thing that has even slightly dampened that outside of virtual hugs, is squeezing my hands, and only for a brief moment.
I can't really even leave to go find anyone because both legally and for safety concerns I can't. The US wants me dead, hurt, whatever, here in Canada I'm having a hard time getting citizenship, and some sort of income to travel What even is that at this point I feel so stuck, and I can't even feel fully reassured because I can't. I just want to be with someone so bad, but I just don't know what to do. My best MAYBE solution is to sit and let time pass, maybe things will get better if I just wait. And, yet, I've been waiting 16 months, and that was even right after a living hell. I just want to feel someone I care about, even one.
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KeldronKrew
The problem is, I don't just have some of these symptoms I have all of them, in full. That is why I struggle to see a reason to keep going. My only excuse so far has been I don't want mother to be sad, nothing like I like my life or There is something good I don't want to lose.
I don't want anyone else to feel this way. But my other half doesn't care, it's fed up with always being nice but still feeling empty and pained. It craves to manipulate those around me like my father always did, using everyone for his own gain and discarding those who didn't serve him That's why he blocked me.
Life is. A continuous series of events that chip away at you, with constant struggles, pain, and unfairness as the thread boring through the core of it all. Joy is temporary. Friends fade. Hope leads to disappointment. Disappointment leads to frustration. Frustration leads to anger and sadness And those lead to death. It is unavoidable so why pull through and wait how much more life can hurt you, when you can just make it all end and erase the pain you feel. All it costs is your life, isn't it
But at the same time, I heard of others about how nice life can be, if you just assume a different perspective It is all about how you see things, not about what happens.
If you managed to read up until here, I thank you for your time. I cannot and do not want to give you a hug, but I can give you my thoughts. And that is an embrace your mind will appreciate.
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The problem is, I don't just have some of these symptoms I have all of them, in full. That is why I struggle to see a reason to keep going. My only excuse so far has been I don't want mother to be sad, nothing like I like my life or There is something good I don't want to lose.
I don't want anyone else to feel this way. But my other half doesn't care, it's fed up with always being nice but still feeling empty and pained. It craves to manipulate those around me like my father always did, using everyone for his own gain and discarding those who didn't serve him That's why he blocked me.
Life is. A continuous series of events that chip away at you, with constant struggles, pain, and unfairness as the thread boring through the core of it all. Joy is temporary. Friends fade. Hope leads to disappointment. Disappointment leads to frustration. Frustration leads to anger and sadness And those lead to death. It is unavoidable so why pull through and wait how much more life can hurt you, when you can just make it all end and erase the pain you feel. All it costs is your life, isn't it
But at the same time, I heard of others about how nice life can be, if you just assume a different perspective It is all about how you see things, not about what happens.
If you managed to read up until here, I thank you for your time. I cannot and do not want to give you a hug, but I can give you my thoughts. And that is an embrace your mind will appreciate.
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bobdylan-n8g
being touch starved is like having a boundless void within you, only to be repaired by the comfort of more physical love. Like the incomplete lego build only to be completed with that specific peice. most nights I sleep hugging a pillow, often sparking convesation with it and occasionally kissing it, trying to temporarily ease the bitter coldness of the void and induce a sensation mimicking the warmth of a hug or kiss. after a while, this can become so normal to the point where phisical touch feels unnatural and abnormal(probably from the low self esteem that hovers over you )
hope you have a fullfilling life and find your way to success and God.
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being touch starved is like having a boundless void within you, only to be repaired by the comfort of more physical love. Like the incomplete lego build only to be completed with that specific peice. most nights I sleep hugging a pillow, often sparking convesation with it and occasionally kissing it, trying to temporarily ease the bitter coldness of the void and induce a sensation mimicking the warmth of a hug or kiss. after a while, this can become so normal to the point where phisical touch feels unnatural and abnormal(probably from the low self esteem that hovers over you )
hope you have a fullfilling life and find your way to success and God.
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SplashingInJelly
As someone who’s been touch starved for years and just recently got a girlfriend, i can say that having someone to hold, to talk to helps a lot. It takes away that loneliness that i had to experience everyday. It’ll feel weird or even scary at first but when you open up to that special someone, weither it be your therapist or your grandmother or a very trustworthy friend, you’ll instantly feel relieved of all that loneliness, you’ll start opening up and getting happier day by day without you even knowing.
Take care guys, remember to look after yourselves and seek help when you need.
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As someone who’s been touch starved for years and just recently got a girlfriend, i can say that having someone to hold, to talk to helps a lot. It takes away that loneliness that i had to experience everyday. It’ll feel weird or even scary at first but when you open up to that special someone, weither it be your therapist or your grandmother or a very trustworthy friend, you’ll instantly feel relieved of all that loneliness, you’ll start opening up and getting happier day by day without you even knowing.
Take care guys, remember to look after yourselves and seek help when you need.
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HUITXO
Don't mean to play victim, but I grew up in a very toxic household, without almost any affection. Currently I am in my 40's and I have never had a partner (or even a date to hang out with someone in a scheme of mutual interest. I have always believed that physical affection is not really necessary to be happy (leave alone survive, but after watching this video I think I can relate to some negative consequences in my wellbeing. But at the same time, there is little to nothing many of us can do to address touch starvation (it is not something you can control.
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Don't mean to play victim, but I grew up in a very toxic household, without almost any affection. Currently I am in my 40's and I have never had a partner (or even a date to hang out with someone in a scheme of mutual interest. I have always believed that physical affection is not really necessary to be happy (leave alone survive, but after watching this video I think I can relate to some negative consequences in my wellbeing. But at the same time, there is little to nothing many of us can do to address touch starvation (it is not something you can control.
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LaurelMartinez-d3f
I feel so dry. like a flower that was left without water for so long. I don't have any friends because I don't know how to make any. I didn't choose to isolate myself but I don't know how to connect with people. I'm almost 22 but I don't even leave my room. I think I forgot what hugs feels like I keep postponing everything I want to do because of my gender identity ( I'm a trans girl idc what you think ) so I'm just literally in my room 24/7. I'm not sure if it will ever get better. I'm tired
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I feel so dry. like a flower that was left without water for so long. I don't have any friends because I don't know how to make any. I didn't choose to isolate myself but I don't know how to connect with people. I'm almost 22 but I don't even leave my room. I think I forgot what hugs feels like I keep postponing everything I want to do because of my gender identity ( I'm a trans girl idc what you think ) so I'm just literally in my room 24/7. I'm not sure if it will ever get better. I'm tired
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psych2go
I find it kind of funny that people crave touch so much that the term touch starvation is a thing, whereas I literally go into fight or flight if someone so much as brushes up against me accidentally. I hate hugs, physical acts of affection, or any touch of any kind, and I don't really notice these symptoms of touch starvation in myself beyond what others who aren't touch starved see as normal. So my condolences to everyone who is touch starved and dislikes it, but I'm a totally different beast.
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I find it kind of funny that people crave touch so much that the term touch starvation is a thing, whereas I literally go into fight or flight if someone so much as brushes up against me accidentally. I hate hugs, physical acts of affection, or any touch of any kind, and I don't really notice these symptoms of touch starvation in myself beyond what others who aren't touch starved see as normal. So my condolences to everyone who is touch starved and dislikes it, but I'm a totally different beast.
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psych2go
I am definitely pretty touch starved. Mild issue though, I NOTICE when I get touched. And apparently, people think that means I don't like being touched. So now everyone thinks I want to be left alone when that is the very last thing I want. I just want to feel someone, I want a person to prove that I'm really here, or even that I just exist, please. But nobody. Nobody can hear my silent cry because I can't just come out and say it. So here I am, isolated as ever, completely against my will.
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I am definitely pretty touch starved. Mild issue though, I NOTICE when I get touched. And apparently, people think that means I don't like being touched. So now everyone thinks I want to be left alone when that is the very last thing I want. I just want to feel someone, I want a person to prove that I'm really here, or even that I just exist, please. But nobody. Nobody can hear my silent cry because I can't just come out and say it. So here I am, isolated as ever, completely against my will.
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LukasWeeke
That is why I'm barely able to decide anything. Now I see. Eye opening content today. I sometimes stand infront of the open fridge and after a few seconds close it without taking anything, because I can't decide what to choose. I'm so used to this touch starvation, that I can't stand touches anymore. They usually make me uncomfortable. I like my stuffed animals. They give me the illusion of physical closeness without the anxiety of human contact.
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That is why I'm barely able to decide anything. Now I see. Eye opening content today. I sometimes stand infront of the open fridge and after a few seconds close it without taking anything, because I can't decide what to choose. I'm so used to this touch starvation, that I can't stand touches anymore. They usually make me uncomfortable. I like my stuffed animals. They give me the illusion of physical closeness without the anxiety of human contact.
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ffok-y8f
Ive been touch starved for a long time. And i never wanted any of my friends to feel what i felt. I'd comfort them with small hits in a playful way, and the only thing that would fuel me were there smiles, now i dont get any. The only thing helping me is my faith, that keeps me happy, knowing that the touch im hungry for is within my prayers. Physical touch isnt needed if your soul is being spoken and comforted every day.
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Ive been touch starved for a long time. And i never wanted any of my friends to feel what i felt. I'd comfort them with small hits in a playful way, and the only thing that would fuel me were there smiles, now i dont get any. The only thing helping me is my faith, that keeps me happy, knowing that the touch im hungry for is within my prayers. Physical touch isnt needed if your soul is being spoken and comforted every day.
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aurorag1710
You know that feeling when you want a hug but only from a specific person
Well.
It only felt real when this person did it.
But this person is not in my life anymore and I do NOT want him back after all the bad things he did to me.
With family seems fake, as if they HAVE TO.
So, I would rather starve to death from being touch deprived than go back to him or do it with someone whom it feels fake.
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You know that feeling when you want a hug but only from a specific person
Well.
It only felt real when this person did it.
But this person is not in my life anymore and I do NOT want him back after all the bad things he did to me.
With family seems fake, as if they HAVE TO.
So, I would rather starve to death from being touch deprived than go back to him or do it with someone whom it feels fake.
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ZeroCGR2
This got me thinking (yes I am touch starved. In the past I liked to spend time close to my father. Due to health and other issues that I wont disclose here he wasnt very get with returning any type of touch. But I liked to stay close to him even when he slept. Now when he is gone there is no such person in my life. Showing emotions feels so difficult for me, even hugging feels so awkward and strange.
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This got me thinking (yes I am touch starved. In the past I liked to spend time close to my father. Due to health and other issues that I wont disclose here he wasnt very get with returning any type of touch. But I liked to stay close to him even when he slept. Now when he is gone there is no such person in my life. Showing emotions feels so difficult for me, even hugging feels so awkward and strange.
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qualia8047
These videos keep making me cry. I've been touch starved for over 6 years now. But i'm glad to know the effects. And why I feel like that all the time. I absolutely resonate with all of this.
There's a small part of me that would like to blame parents for all those problems. I probably shouldn't. But it's hard to function when everything feels wrong.
At least now iam educated about it.
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These videos keep making me cry. I've been touch starved for over 6 years now. But i'm glad to know the effects. And why I feel like that all the time. I absolutely resonate with all of this.
There's a small part of me that would like to blame parents for all those problems. I probably shouldn't. But it's hard to function when everything feels wrong.
At least now iam educated about it.
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MxPotato84
I do live with my dad, but he doesn’t have an emotional bone in his body, so I rarely get any kind of touch. And my friends live far away from me so I rarely ever see them. Since the lockdown, touch has been super rare, only for a few special occasions. I so much really want a long firm hug so I can cry out all the built up hurt I’ve been holding since the lockdown.
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I do live with my dad, but he doesn’t have an emotional bone in his body, so I rarely get any kind of touch. And my friends live far away from me so I rarely ever see them. Since the lockdown, touch has been super rare, only for a few special occasions. I so much really want a long firm hug so I can cry out all the built up hurt I’ve been holding since the lockdown.
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milkytea3438
I’ve been touch starved most of my life and didn’t realize how much it affected me. This video really opened my eyes. I struggle with a lot of mental health issues and have autism, so I feel uncomfortable when people touch me, but I accept touch or hugs from certain friends. I think the lack of touch might have caused me to hate touch from people overall.
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I’ve been touch starved most of my life and didn’t realize how much it affected me. This video really opened my eyes. I struggle with a lot of mental health issues and have autism, so I feel uncomfortable when people touch me, but I accept touch or hugs from certain friends. I think the lack of touch might have caused me to hate touch from people overall.
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antamdeepkaur9160
I wanna be cuddled, nice supportive touches, and be told that i am loved. but at the same time. i also dont want to touch / cuddle someone or wanna hear someone say I love you . I am soo confused i dont even know what i want. i feel like i wont know how to react to these things. I am not good at expressing myself - i dont even know myself.
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I wanna be cuddled, nice supportive touches, and be told that i am loved. but at the same time. i also dont want to touch / cuddle someone or wanna hear someone say I love you . I am soo confused i dont even know what i want. i feel like i wont know how to react to these things. I am not good at expressing myself - i dont even know myself.
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STsorenofficial851
I never realized how much my subconscious mind was controlling my decisions until I read Mind Decoding by Keezano. It’s crazy how we’re programmed to think in ways that limit us without even knowing it. This book really opened my eyes to the invisible patterns shaping my habits, and I’ve already started noticing shifts in my mindset.
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I never realized how much my subconscious mind was controlling my decisions until I read Mind Decoding by Keezano. It’s crazy how we’re programmed to think in ways that limit us without even knowing it. This book really opened my eyes to the invisible patterns shaping my habits, and I’ve already started noticing shifts in my mindset.
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cosmicflamek3y183
I've been touch starved my whole life
my mom doesn't like hugs or any physical contact and so does my brother
my love language is 90 percent touch
that's why I've built this habit that I squeeze the life out of people when I do get a hug
and every time I to get that touch without having to initiate it's euphoric
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I've been touch starved my whole life
my mom doesn't like hugs or any physical contact and so does my brother
my love language is 90 percent touch
that's why I've built this habit that I squeeze the life out of people when I do get a hug
and every time I to get that touch without having to initiate it's euphoric
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FirestormVTR
I am reminded of the news reports about orphans in Former-Yugoslavia during the Balkan Wars in the 90s. All the children were so neglected, fed 3 times a day, and left alone in dormitories in between. It was so upsetting.
Do you have a link to the video about how to recover from touch-starvation which is referred to in this film
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I am reminded of the news reports about orphans in Former-Yugoslavia during the Balkan Wars in the 90s. All the children were so neglected, fed 3 times a day, and left alone in dormitories in between. It was so upsetting.
Do you have a link to the video about how to recover from touch-starvation which is referred to in this film
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nix_kq
My parents never touched me except to beat me. I received my one and only hug 2 and a half years ago, from my nana. I didn't know what to do and so I just acted like a tree trunk. Now that she's gone, that missed hug is the biggest regret of my life. But I think I learnt from it and, maybe, next time with the right person, I'll be ready
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My parents never touched me except to beat me. I received my one and only hug 2 and a half years ago, from my nana. I didn't know what to do and so I just acted like a tree trunk. Now that she's gone, that missed hug is the biggest regret of my life. But I think I learnt from it and, maybe, next time with the right person, I'll be ready
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