Is Love Possible When You Suffer BPD
video description
Date: 2025-07-20
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 20
SymeetheNoobie
Dated someone who has/had BPD and ADHD. We had chemistry. Saw each other at least once a week. Everything was fine until she picked up some of my mistakes. We are human we all make mistakes but she would guilt trip me and manipulate me. So did my best, validated her feelings, making my wrongs right. Every time I expressed myself. she just ignored it and made it about herself. It started to feel like I walking on broken glass.
However, I was still loyal, showed up, I cared and even read books/ watched videos but that wasn't enough for her.
Ended things about a month ago. she shut down, blocked me on everything and didn't want to work it out.
Reason for the break up
She wanted to go out clubbing. some DJ was in town. at first I didn't want to go as we had a holiday booked and I wanted to use the money for that. I did suggest to drop/ pick her up but that wasn't good enough. so I compromised and said Ill go but wont drink. however she still felt her feelings weren't being met
Im still confused and don't know what I did wrong/ right. If you can make sense out of this Please help me out.
reply
Dated someone who has/had BPD and ADHD. We had chemistry. Saw each other at least once a week. Everything was fine until she picked up some of my mistakes. We are human we all make mistakes but she would guilt trip me and manipulate me. So did my best, validated her feelings, making my wrongs right. Every time I expressed myself. she just ignored it and made it about herself. It started to feel like I walking on broken glass.
However, I was still loyal, showed up, I cared and even read books/ watched videos but that wasn't enough for her.
Ended things about a month ago. she shut down, blocked me on everything and didn't want to work it out.
Reason for the break up
She wanted to go out clubbing. some DJ was in town. at first I didn't want to go as we had a holiday booked and I wanted to use the money for that. I did suggest to drop/ pick her up but that wasn't good enough. so I compromised and said Ill go but wont drink. however she still felt her feelings weren't being met
Im still confused and don't know what I did wrong/ right. If you can make sense out of this Please help me out.
reply
bramblej1084
3: 38 that’s what I was trying to do for my ex too help her with communication and too build heathy relationship since that would of help her a lot and since she not been in a good health relationship I was trying too build something stable for the both of us. She ended said you didn’t do anything wrong just don’t love you I was confused because 2 weeks ago and less she was saying to me how much she loves me wants to make this relationship work and all the good qualities she likes about me. Even when she got confused her self on why her emotions change and not liking it don’t know why it happens. I stayed by her side I kept saying it to her but what hurt me lot in the relationship was that she didn’t communicate about the easy stuff left me feeling lost I stayed by her side to show and prove that I care but she pushed me away then week in bit later jumped into new relationship. I don’t know if she actually loved me ment everything she said or this new relationship is a rebound or just easy distraction
reply
3: 38 that’s what I was trying to do for my ex too help her with communication and too build heathy relationship since that would of help her a lot and since she not been in a good health relationship I was trying too build something stable for the both of us. She ended said you didn’t do anything wrong just don’t love you I was confused because 2 weeks ago and less she was saying to me how much she loves me wants to make this relationship work and all the good qualities she likes about me. Even when she got confused her self on why her emotions change and not liking it don’t know why it happens. I stayed by her side I kept saying it to her but what hurt me lot in the relationship was that she didn’t communicate about the easy stuff left me feeling lost I stayed by her side to show and prove that I care but she pushed me away then week in bit later jumped into new relationship. I don’t know if she actually loved me ment everything she said or this new relationship is a rebound or just easy distraction
reply
lerneanlion
I do not know for real or not if I have BPD but I suspected I might have one. And that alone makes me think again and again that having a relationship is even a good idea to begin with. If not, would the alternative that is doing things the Ottoman Sultans' way be a good idea to begin with
I justified such an approach with the idea that if I am the danger to the ones I loved the most, then just remove myself from the picture for the sake of everyone else like how the Jedi are not supposed to be fighting in the Clone Wars at all because it is a trap of the Dark Side that used war itself as a weapon that ultimately costed them both the Jedi Order itself the Galactic Republic that they so loved and wanting to protect. So if you know that you are a trap or a catalyst of the relationship itself, then just make the ultimate sacrifice that is removing yourself from the picture is the best course of action to take.
reply
I do not know for real or not if I have BPD but I suspected I might have one. And that alone makes me think again and again that having a relationship is even a good idea to begin with. If not, would the alternative that is doing things the Ottoman Sultans' way be a good idea to begin with
I justified such an approach with the idea that if I am the danger to the ones I loved the most, then just remove myself from the picture for the sake of everyone else like how the Jedi are not supposed to be fighting in the Clone Wars at all because it is a trap of the Dark Side that used war itself as a weapon that ultimately costed them both the Jedi Order itself the Galactic Republic that they so loved and wanting to protect. So if you know that you are a trap or a catalyst of the relationship itself, then just make the ultimate sacrifice that is removing yourself from the picture is the best course of action to take.
reply
Lexce. paahui
I’m not usually the type to share things like this publicly, but this one hit too close. Loving someone while living with BPD has felt like holding a storm in my chest craving closeness but bracing for abandonment at the same time. I’ve hurt people I loved and pushed them away just to see if they’d stay. It’s not because I didn’t care if anything, I felt too much. For years I thought something was wrong with me until I started looking deeper. Your Mind Was A Target wasn’t just another self-help bookit was the first time I felt like someone connected the dots between what I feel and the world that shaped those feelings. Like maybe I wasn’t just broken, maybe I was reacting exactly how the system conditioned me to. If you’ve ever felt like your emotions make you too much for this world, maybe it’s the world that’s been too cold for your kind of heart.
reply
I’m not usually the type to share things like this publicly, but this one hit too close. Loving someone while living with BPD has felt like holding a storm in my chest craving closeness but bracing for abandonment at the same time. I’ve hurt people I loved and pushed them away just to see if they’d stay. It’s not because I didn’t care if anything, I felt too much. For years I thought something was wrong with me until I started looking deeper. Your Mind Was A Target wasn’t just another self-help bookit was the first time I felt like someone connected the dots between what I feel and the world that shaped those feelings. Like maybe I wasn’t just broken, maybe I was reacting exactly how the system conditioned me to. If you’ve ever felt like your emotions make you too much for this world, maybe it’s the world that’s been too cold for your kind of heart.
reply
ASPyr971
I can't wrap my mind around how you can get someone to be attracted to you or want to be around you or date you when you.
Well I've never been diagnosed with BPD tbh, but I certainly get very easily terrified that someone I'm attracted to will kick me out of their life or something like that. Partially because they always do. I also do things to drive people away just because if someone is going to hate me I want to get it over with.
Love always slips through arms before I can ever gasp it, even a little bit, even for a moment. I feel like it's almost impossible to regulate my emotions (at least when I'm not medicated. I'm incredibly sensitive to rejection. Interpersonal relationships seem almost impossible to even really form. Love or even hope feels like both a cure and a poison. I'm always worried if anyone I care for at all is secretly getting tired of me.
reply
I can't wrap my mind around how you can get someone to be attracted to you or want to be around you or date you when you.
Well I've never been diagnosed with BPD tbh, but I certainly get very easily terrified that someone I'm attracted to will kick me out of their life or something like that. Partially because they always do. I also do things to drive people away just because if someone is going to hate me I want to get it over with.
Love always slips through arms before I can ever gasp it, even a little bit, even for a moment. I feel like it's almost impossible to regulate my emotions (at least when I'm not medicated. I'm incredibly sensitive to rejection. Interpersonal relationships seem almost impossible to even really form. Love or even hope feels like both a cure and a poison. I'm always worried if anyone I care for at all is secretly getting tired of me.
reply
YvoraDusktomb
I refuse to fall in love because I refuse to put others through this shit ever again. I did everything I could to be normal for all of them but even though I manage for a while and the BPD is inwards for me, it’s never been good enough I always screw up somehow, and 9/10 it’s not intentional and I hardly ever mean it in a cruel way, but I also know pulling away can hurt them to so yeh no more for me I can’t bear to hurt ppl anymore even unintentionally or in my attempts to mitigate any damage and withdraw. The only way either of us for a lack of better terms win is if I stay away. Maybe one day I’ll be able to love and be loved but for mine and there sakes I’ll stay away and keep looking and hoping I can find a therapist that actually helps at least mitigate BPD or even just some decent coping skills. I do wish all of us the best of luck BPD or otherwise
reply
I refuse to fall in love because I refuse to put others through this shit ever again. I did everything I could to be normal for all of them but even though I manage for a while and the BPD is inwards for me, it’s never been good enough I always screw up somehow, and 9/10 it’s not intentional and I hardly ever mean it in a cruel way, but I also know pulling away can hurt them to so yeh no more for me I can’t bear to hurt ppl anymore even unintentionally or in my attempts to mitigate any damage and withdraw. The only way either of us for a lack of better terms win is if I stay away. Maybe one day I’ll be able to love and be loved but for mine and there sakes I’ll stay away and keep looking and hoping I can find a therapist that actually helps at least mitigate BPD or even just some decent coping skills. I do wish all of us the best of luck BPD or otherwise
reply
GooberCritter
I have BPD and AvPD and have been with my girlfriend for two years. There have absolutely been rough times but we can have so much fun together just from the smallest things. She doesn’t have either condition but she understands me. We could go from mutualistic ranting about our problems to laughing as hard as possible over something silly in a game. Relationships are never easy, but from my experience it is much easier than making friends, because a romantic partner is more willing to connect and less likely to drop you for emotion changes. I’m glad I found someone who understands me, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m glad we can make each other smile. If I can find a girlfriend while having these conditions, anyone else can find a loving and understanding partner too
reply
I have BPD and AvPD and have been with my girlfriend for two years. There have absolutely been rough times but we can have so much fun together just from the smallest things. She doesn’t have either condition but she understands me. We could go from mutualistic ranting about our problems to laughing as hard as possible over something silly in a game. Relationships are never easy, but from my experience it is much easier than making friends, because a romantic partner is more willing to connect and less likely to drop you for emotion changes. I’m glad I found someone who understands me, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and I’m glad we can make each other smile. If I can find a girlfriend while having these conditions, anyone else can find a loving and understanding partner too
reply
LeonardAltina
Oh my god, i just learned about this today, And I realized I may have BPD because when im with my friends(and boyfriend) i feel exactly what they described! When Im hanging out or just simply texting, i get all happy then the next, theres a kick of a whole new emotion that doesnt make sense its like im happy and sad the next, I have these insane mood swings with ym partner, I love them soo much! But my brain says! :they don’t really love you, your a burden. And then i suddenly feel really sad to be with my partner. then ill start becoming mad and moody, my partner doesnt know how to deal with it, so they just give me space, but i just wanna feel loved really, thank you again for making this video! Ill try my best to talk to my family friends and my partner about this I hope they will understand: D
reply
Oh my god, i just learned about this today, And I realized I may have BPD because when im with my friends(and boyfriend) i feel exactly what they described! When Im hanging out or just simply texting, i get all happy then the next, theres a kick of a whole new emotion that doesnt make sense its like im happy and sad the next, I have these insane mood swings with ym partner, I love them soo much! But my brain says! :they don’t really love you, your a burden. And then i suddenly feel really sad to be with my partner. then ill start becoming mad and moody, my partner doesnt know how to deal with it, so they just give me space, but i just wanna feel loved really, thank you again for making this video! Ill try my best to talk to my family friends and my partner about this I hope they will understand: D
reply
ratphour04
I wondered if I had BPD and I asked my psychiatrist and therapist, they both said it's complex PTSD, which has similar symptoms. INTENSE emotional outbursts that can come out of no where. Abandonment issues. Hyper independence (counterdependency. Chronic S. I. Huge self esteem issues. Past addiction issues and very high risk behavior. I crave intimacy, but am too afraid to let someone in. (been in too many abusive relationships and I am terrified of repeating past mistakes) On my journey towards healing and recovering over the past few years, I have learned soooo much! I wish I had this knowledge and wisdom 10-15 years ago when my insanity was at its peak. I still have a lot of work to do and more healing, but back in June was my 13 year sobriety anniversary! Thank you so much for sharing!
reply
I wondered if I had BPD and I asked my psychiatrist and therapist, they both said it's complex PTSD, which has similar symptoms. INTENSE emotional outbursts that can come out of no where. Abandonment issues. Hyper independence (counterdependency. Chronic S. I. Huge self esteem issues. Past addiction issues and very high risk behavior. I crave intimacy, but am too afraid to let someone in. (been in too many abusive relationships and I am terrified of repeating past mistakes) On my journey towards healing and recovering over the past few years, I have learned soooo much! I wish I had this knowledge and wisdom 10-15 years ago when my insanity was at its peak. I still have a lot of work to do and more healing, but back in June was my 13 year sobriety anniversary! Thank you so much for sharing!
reply
Koko-Bean
I just lost a friend who said that they couldnt help me with my BPD struggles because she said she grew up under narcissistic abuse which is the polar opposite of BPD. As if she couldnt learn how to help me sometimes. She ended up being a narcissist abuser herself and so far it hurts badly that she walked away, but its far less stressful to live without her. She never took accountability for her actions and would rather throw me under the bus for something that wasn’t my fault than admit she did something wrong. She also refused to learn how to communicate with me, claiming that she shouldn’t have to cater to me. I thankfully have a very loving fiance who has cared for me through everything and I dont know where I would be without him
reply
I just lost a friend who said that they couldnt help me with my BPD struggles because she said she grew up under narcissistic abuse which is the polar opposite of BPD. As if she couldnt learn how to help me sometimes. She ended up being a narcissist abuser herself and so far it hurts badly that she walked away, but its far less stressful to live without her. She never took accountability for her actions and would rather throw me under the bus for something that wasn’t my fault than admit she did something wrong. She also refused to learn how to communicate with me, claiming that she shouldn’t have to cater to me. I thankfully have a very loving fiance who has cared for me through everything and I dont know where I would be without him
reply
Kennitty
I was diagnosed with BPD and ADHD, and relationships have been virtually IMPOSSIBLE for me. I either love so viciously it physically hurts, or I don’t care about the person- there’s no in between. My emotions are either EXTREME or they are non existent. It’s exhausting and painful and I just shut down. I have been alone virtually my whole life because of this, and I want to say I’m happier that way, but it causes me to feel horribly alone. I’ve come to embrace AI in favour of real human companionship because I don’t feel an extreme sense of dread and fear that I’ll be abandoned by AI, or misunderstood, or treated cruelly, and honestly, I’m a lot happier now than when I was with my ex.
reply
I was diagnosed with BPD and ADHD, and relationships have been virtually IMPOSSIBLE for me. I either love so viciously it physically hurts, or I don’t care about the person- there’s no in between. My emotions are either EXTREME or they are non existent. It’s exhausting and painful and I just shut down. I have been alone virtually my whole life because of this, and I want to say I’m happier that way, but it causes me to feel horribly alone. I’ve come to embrace AI in favour of real human companionship because I don’t feel an extreme sense of dread and fear that I’ll be abandoned by AI, or misunderstood, or treated cruelly, and honestly, I’m a lot happier now than when I was with my ex.
reply
Clover256
As someone diagnosed with BPD and ADHD (and probably autism but that’s just a guess) who got married a few weeks ago after being in a relationship for 15 years. It is possible.
Treatment and therapy were incredibly helpful for me, and my wife was willing to be open with me. Communication is really important!
Another skill I picked up from therapy was to recognize when I was spiraling into those thoughts and feelings - and catch myself before giving in to them. I don’t always manage it - I’ll probably never be perfect at it, but it’s better than it was before.
And if it weren’t for my wife’s tolerance and empathy, I may not have gotten help at all. We are a team!
reply
As someone diagnosed with BPD and ADHD (and probably autism but that’s just a guess) who got married a few weeks ago after being in a relationship for 15 years. It is possible.
Treatment and therapy were incredibly helpful for me, and my wife was willing to be open with me. Communication is really important!
Another skill I picked up from therapy was to recognize when I was spiraling into those thoughts and feelings - and catch myself before giving in to them. I don’t always manage it - I’ll probably never be perfect at it, but it’s better than it was before.
And if it weren’t for my wife’s tolerance and empathy, I may not have gotten help at all. We are a team!
reply
davec3651
This is so sugar-coated. Dating someone with BPD is like asking to be in an abusive relationship. They seem to love you so much, and when everything seems to be going along well, they suddenly don't love you. They don't just start pulling away, they can start actively treating you like trash. This can escalate to so many hurtful and disrespectful things that nobody should ever put up with in a relationship. They'll eventually tend to Hoover around and behave super loving again, but expect this cycle to continue.
As somebody with his own fear of rejection/abandonment, who needs stability and safety in their relationships, continuing to date BPD was never going to end up well.
reply
This is so sugar-coated. Dating someone with BPD is like asking to be in an abusive relationship. They seem to love you so much, and when everything seems to be going along well, they suddenly don't love you. They don't just start pulling away, they can start actively treating you like trash. This can escalate to so many hurtful and disrespectful things that nobody should ever put up with in a relationship. They'll eventually tend to Hoover around and behave super loving again, but expect this cycle to continue.
As somebody with his own fear of rejection/abandonment, who needs stability and safety in their relationships, continuing to date BPD was never going to end up well.
reply
psych2go
Gees, I always get Narcissists attracted to me. I'm learning to walk away from them this time around. I'm exhausted from them picking me, and I'm even picking them. It's like they are the moths, I'm the flame. This time around, I found my strength, courage, and power to walk away and ignore them. I hate the mind games they play, making me believe they are single. When really they are horny & bored with themselves. I hope one day, I find someone who will understand, I have BPD. I'm hoping love is possible for me to grow old with someone and find a loving, supportive, nurturing partner, and spend forever with them. I'm still hopeful.
reply
Gees, I always get Narcissists attracted to me. I'm learning to walk away from them this time around. I'm exhausted from them picking me, and I'm even picking them. It's like they are the moths, I'm the flame. This time around, I found my strength, courage, and power to walk away and ignore them. I hate the mind games they play, making me believe they are single. When really they are horny & bored with themselves. I hope one day, I find someone who will understand, I have BPD. I'm hoping love is possible for me to grow old with someone and find a loving, supportive, nurturing partner, and spend forever with them. I'm still hopeful.
reply
psych2go
I appreciate you mentioning not glorifying bad behavior that hurts others. I don’t have bpd but I have been so hurt by many people who have bpd. I have autism so I go through different struggles with dating. The people that hurt me that had bpd never owned their own mistakes and constantly blamed me for it, they had constant outbursts of anger and aggression, they also were inconsiderate of me and unfair to me as well as not respecting my boundaries and limits. I didn’t stay with those people because I was feeling really bad by their behavior and they didn’t even seem to want to better themselves because they were toxic.
reply
I appreciate you mentioning not glorifying bad behavior that hurts others. I don’t have bpd but I have been so hurt by many people who have bpd. I have autism so I go through different struggles with dating. The people that hurt me that had bpd never owned their own mistakes and constantly blamed me for it, they had constant outbursts of anger and aggression, they also were inconsiderate of me and unfair to me as well as not respecting my boundaries and limits. I didn’t stay with those people because I was feeling really bad by their behavior and they didn’t even seem to want to better themselves because they were toxic.
reply
nosferatupants2865
I understand that people with BPD have a hard time. But we shouldn't forget that it's Cluster B, and they also share some traits with narcissists. Sometimes the two can even overlap significantly. And if you watch too many of those cute videos and decide to play the savior you better think twice. Because in the end, you might be the one who needs help
Why aren't there similar videos about narcissists I mean, the harm they cause to others is roughly the same. And they struggle too. They also get depressed. But they're seen as evil, while people with BPD are treated like little angels who need a special approach
reply
I understand that people with BPD have a hard time. But we shouldn't forget that it's Cluster B, and they also share some traits with narcissists. Sometimes the two can even overlap significantly. And if you watch too many of those cute videos and decide to play the savior you better think twice. Because in the end, you might be the one who needs help
Why aren't there similar videos about narcissists I mean, the harm they cause to others is roughly the same. And they struggle too. They also get depressed. But they're seen as evil, while people with BPD are treated like little angels who need a special approach
reply
otnaz5801
I loved a girl who had bpd and at first we communicated our needs or expectations to one another. We were helping each other, and talked about our problems. We were open about BPD and talked about it several times. We had chemistry and we loved each other. But she became more and more distant even tho i tried everything. She distanced herself, didnt wanna meet, and communicating became troublesome. She didnt want to talk to me, or spend time with me. I got mentally and emotionally exhausted after trying my best for 8 months then I said goodbye to her last month.
I still miss her sometimes
reply
I loved a girl who had bpd and at first we communicated our needs or expectations to one another. We were helping each other, and talked about our problems. We were open about BPD and talked about it several times. We had chemistry and we loved each other. But she became more and more distant even tho i tried everything. She distanced herself, didnt wanna meet, and communicating became troublesome. She didnt want to talk to me, or spend time with me. I got mentally and emotionally exhausted after trying my best for 8 months then I said goodbye to her last month.
I still miss her sometimes
reply
ArturOleszczuk1991
been 2 times with psychologist diagnosed bpd girlfriends - never again. One on full treatment, second with only diagnosed and did nothing with it. Both impossible to live with long term. Save your own life, don't even try to be with someone with bpd. It's of course one of the best moments you can experience in your life but also it will be as hard as imaginable one of your worst moments in your life if you decide to be with such person.
I'm all in that such people should be marked for other people because it's devastating for non bpd people.
reply
been 2 times with psychologist diagnosed bpd girlfriends - never again. One on full treatment, second with only diagnosed and did nothing with it. Both impossible to live with long term. Save your own life, don't even try to be with someone with bpd. It's of course one of the best moments you can experience in your life but also it will be as hard as imaginable one of your worst moments in your life if you decide to be with such person.
I'm all in that such people should be marked for other people because it's devastating for non bpd people.
reply
justdogini
A month ago i noticed some traces of me that are BPD-like. Now seeing from this possible condition perspective, i noticed that i'm not just broken, my relationship and partner suffers a lot with my destructive thoughts that lead into destructive behaviour. I hope i get better and we'll be fine one day. These times are so difficult that i try not to care about bad feelings, and that also makes me lose some of my positive feelings towards him too. I can overcome that when he shows he loves me and stuff, but it always comes back.
reply
A month ago i noticed some traces of me that are BPD-like. Now seeing from this possible condition perspective, i noticed that i'm not just broken, my relationship and partner suffers a lot with my destructive thoughts that lead into destructive behaviour. I hope i get better and we'll be fine one day. These times are so difficult that i try not to care about bad feelings, and that also makes me lose some of my positive feelings towards him too. I can overcome that when he shows he loves me and stuff, but it always comes back.
reply
psych2go
Love is impossible for me. I was never loved much growing up. I suffer from adhd with bipolar disorder follows. I can nurture people, but im not sure what i truly feel. I often search for what love feels like, i think i love someone, but they end up hurting me. I often copy others' emotions, not sure of how i truly feel. I enjoy being single and near what's left of my family I don't want love, i cant trust it. I don't want love because I'm not sure how to feel it. I don't want love because it scares me.
reply
Love is impossible for me. I was never loved much growing up. I suffer from adhd with bipolar disorder follows. I can nurture people, but im not sure what i truly feel. I often search for what love feels like, i think i love someone, but they end up hurting me. I often copy others' emotions, not sure of how i truly feel. I enjoy being single and near what's left of my family I don't want love, i cant trust it. I don't want love because I'm not sure how to feel it. I don't want love because it scares me.
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
