The Dark Truth About Empathy
video description
Date: 2024-12-24
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 20
josephlim-c8q
Thank you so much for sharing such an insightful and nuanced perspective on empathy. It really made me reflect on how deeply we can connect with others' emotions, even if we've never met them. I’ve always prided myself on being empathetic, but this video has made me realize how important it is to strike a balance. I can definitely relate to the idea of feeling emotionally drained by constantly taking on others' struggles without setting boundaries. The concept of vicarious trauma was especially eye-opening, as I’ve found myself overwhelmed by the pain of others more often than I’d like to admit. It’s comforting to know that empathy doesn’t have to be at the expense of my own well-being, and this video has inspired me to practice more mindfulness and protect my emotional health. Thank you for the valuable advice on how to still be compassionate while taking care of myself. I’ll definitely be more aware of how I engage with others’ pain moving forward.
reply
Thank you so much for sharing such an insightful and nuanced perspective on empathy. It really made me reflect on how deeply we can connect with others' emotions, even if we've never met them. I’ve always prided myself on being empathetic, but this video has made me realize how important it is to strike a balance. I can definitely relate to the idea of feeling emotionally drained by constantly taking on others' struggles without setting boundaries. The concept of vicarious trauma was especially eye-opening, as I’ve found myself overwhelmed by the pain of others more often than I’d like to admit. It’s comforting to know that empathy doesn’t have to be at the expense of my own well-being, and this video has inspired me to practice more mindfulness and protect my emotional health. Thank you for the valuable advice on how to still be compassionate while taking care of myself. I’ll definitely be more aware of how I engage with others’ pain moving forward.
reply
REAPERthePRUSKIE
If you're unhappy as why your empathy needs boundaries then that's good! It means it's changing the world, we have to have a problem with the way things are in the world to improve it, that's how we've developed to this point, but the world isn't just ready yet
I think people need to be smarter, basically forgive but not forget
The world should be more empathetic, but it should still have boundaries not because empathy is or could be bad, it's mostly because the world isn't as empathetic as some of its people are, The more developed a world/culture is, the less boundries are going to be needed because the world and the people are on the same tracks
In other words, be empathetic but also smart so that you can improve, and inspire others to also be empathetic, boundries are still around but they'll get less and less severe as time goes by, so much so that the words too much empathetic might lose and change its meaning
reply
If you're unhappy as why your empathy needs boundaries then that's good! It means it's changing the world, we have to have a problem with the way things are in the world to improve it, that's how we've developed to this point, but the world isn't just ready yet
I think people need to be smarter, basically forgive but not forget
The world should be more empathetic, but it should still have boundaries not because empathy is or could be bad, it's mostly because the world isn't as empathetic as some of its people are, The more developed a world/culture is, the less boundries are going to be needed because the world and the people are on the same tracks
In other words, be empathetic but also smart so that you can improve, and inspire others to also be empathetic, boundries are still around but they'll get less and less severe as time goes by, so much so that the words too much empathetic might lose and change its meaning
reply
alexm9653
I learned pretty quickly after going back to school again that empathy and compassion only go so far.
I use this 'toxic' phrase alot when i'm just screwing around and talk out of my ass, but when i have to do an assignment with someone and they dont show up and make the decision to not communicate with me, then i'm like that is not my problem, that is a 'you' problem.
I'm not heartless, when someone reaches out, i am willing to help. I am willing to listen or help with solutions, but i am not gonna let my mental health suffer anymore than it already does by getting frustrated because people don't communicate with me.
I have been in situations like this before personally, i know how hard it must be, but everyone has their struggles, and so i learned the hard way to always stay in contact, even when your mental health is at a solid -12, because it's not just you.
reply
I learned pretty quickly after going back to school again that empathy and compassion only go so far.
I use this 'toxic' phrase alot when i'm just screwing around and talk out of my ass, but when i have to do an assignment with someone and they dont show up and make the decision to not communicate with me, then i'm like that is not my problem, that is a 'you' problem.
I'm not heartless, when someone reaches out, i am willing to help. I am willing to listen or help with solutions, but i am not gonna let my mental health suffer anymore than it already does by getting frustrated because people don't communicate with me.
I have been in situations like this before personally, i know how hard it must be, but everyone has their struggles, and so i learned the hard way to always stay in contact, even when your mental health is at a solid -12, because it's not just you.
reply
CringeScout
0: 00 Yeah I disagree, because
I used to rule the world
Chunks would load when I gave the word
Now every night I go stow away
Hide from the mobs I used to slay
They once were terrified
Every time I looked into their eyes
Villagers would cheer my way
For a hero I was, that's what they'd say
One minute we had it all
Next, our world began to fall
Away from all that it had once become
They all cried for my help, but I stood there numb
I gaze off into the boundless skyline
Note block choirs playing in the sunshine
Turn around, pick up my sword and wield
The blade that once forced evil mobs to yield
And hope one day that this chaos and
Destruction turns for the better
Never a bow in hand
That was when I ruled the land
reply
0: 00 Yeah I disagree, because
I used to rule the world
Chunks would load when I gave the word
Now every night I go stow away
Hide from the mobs I used to slay
They once were terrified
Every time I looked into their eyes
Villagers would cheer my way
For a hero I was, that's what they'd say
One minute we had it all
Next, our world began to fall
Away from all that it had once become
They all cried for my help, but I stood there numb
I gaze off into the boundless skyline
Note block choirs playing in the sunshine
Turn around, pick up my sword and wield
The blade that once forced evil mobs to yield
And hope one day that this chaos and
Destruction turns for the better
Never a bow in hand
That was when I ruled the land
reply
ChaoticAphrodite
I’ve been assessed with having exceptionally high empathy.
One complication of that that few talk about is called pain synaesthesia. TLDR: I feel others’ physical pain as well as emotional, to the first approximation of what I have directly experienced.
It’s kinda freaky how close those feels, based on observation alone, have been, though I would love for a psychoneurologist to help me with formal experimentation.
It had taken me a lifetime to learn how to feel others’ pain without being washed away by that sensation. Main thing is that if I feel I need distance, I will take my leave. Secondary method that works is treating my presence as a gift, and if anyone abuses that gift, I give myself the gift of not being in that person’s presence.
reply
I’ve been assessed with having exceptionally high empathy.
One complication of that that few talk about is called pain synaesthesia. TLDR: I feel others’ physical pain as well as emotional, to the first approximation of what I have directly experienced.
It’s kinda freaky how close those feels, based on observation alone, have been, though I would love for a psychoneurologist to help me with formal experimentation.
It had taken me a lifetime to learn how to feel others’ pain without being washed away by that sensation. Main thing is that if I feel I need distance, I will take my leave. Secondary method that works is treating my presence as a gift, and if anyone abuses that gift, I give myself the gift of not being in that person’s presence.
reply
actually_peanuts
General consensus is Empathy is a gift. Sometimes being empathetic can be a choice (I feel this term is used not really good in the video)
Thing is; EVERYONE and their mother seeks empathy, values empathy, looks out for someone with empathy, and so on. The whole world uses empathy as synonym for being able to empathize.
But being an Empath is not the same as being empathetic for me - it is what - and who - you are. And it's just as much a curse, as you might think it's a blessing. Thanks for shedding some light on this. Because the struggle is real. No cap.
I feel with everyone who suffers due to their empathy. And if you don't, please try and differentiate. As you're probably miles away of what this one was about.
reply
General consensus is Empathy is a gift. Sometimes being empathetic can be a choice (I feel this term is used not really good in the video)
Thing is; EVERYONE and their mother seeks empathy, values empathy, looks out for someone with empathy, and so on. The whole world uses empathy as synonym for being able to empathize.
But being an Empath is not the same as being empathetic for me - it is what - and who - you are. And it's just as much a curse, as you might think it's a blessing. Thanks for shedding some light on this. Because the struggle is real. No cap.
I feel with everyone who suffers due to their empathy. And if you don't, please try and differentiate. As you're probably miles away of what this one was about.
reply
cityscape2818
emotionally crippling phenomenon if left unchecked. But the good news is that it can be helped a level of understanding by evaluating the situations as they a arise a person can come to the conclusion on whether or not if this is a liability or an asset. Once this is decided a solution could come. Or if a particular situation could put you at a disadvantage like if someone suddenly collapses due to possible heat exhaustion or the levels of toxicity of alcohol are dangerously high. This examples may seem silly but that’s due to the fact that the degree of the example is extreme in context but it still means this varies according to the individual. Thus meaning it can be navigated through it boils down to a simple decision.
reply
emotionally crippling phenomenon if left unchecked. But the good news is that it can be helped a level of understanding by evaluating the situations as they a arise a person can come to the conclusion on whether or not if this is a liability or an asset. Once this is decided a solution could come. Or if a particular situation could put you at a disadvantage like if someone suddenly collapses due to possible heat exhaustion or the levels of toxicity of alcohol are dangerously high. This examples may seem silly but that’s due to the fact that the degree of the example is extreme in context but it still means this varies according to the individual. Thus meaning it can be navigated through it boils down to a simple decision.
reply
Quiet_Void
I worked at a community resource centre for a year. It was fun for the most part, and I generally love helping people and making them smile. However, it began to weigh down on me, not that I blame anyone at all. It’s just that the people I was working with were going through a hard time, and the same could be said for my coworkers. I let one person trauma dump on me, and I straight up started crying right in front of them because their backstory was so messed up, that was probably disrespectful of me, and I’m still embarrassed that I couldn’t control myself.
Eventually, I left quietly, but some of the people I worked with remember me fondly, so at least I did something right.
reply
I worked at a community resource centre for a year. It was fun for the most part, and I generally love helping people and making them smile. However, it began to weigh down on me, not that I blame anyone at all. It’s just that the people I was working with were going through a hard time, and the same could be said for my coworkers. I let one person trauma dump on me, and I straight up started crying right in front of them because their backstory was so messed up, that was probably disrespectful of me, and I’m still embarrassed that I couldn’t control myself.
Eventually, I left quietly, but some of the people I worked with remember me fondly, so at least I did something right.
reply
Gamer-jv3zg
I just recently told my dad I’m tired all my life I’ve helped, gave and always lended a hand to all and any that come to my path, especially my friends, but I end up forgetting myself constantly, I scold my friends when they don’t take care of themselves properly, meanwhile I neglect myself a lot. I also basically became a father figure and therapist for my friends, I always tell them they can come to me for anything, as a kid I always said my purpose in life was to help anyone, but recently I became so tired but I still continue to helpAfter all I’m always availableand I’ve always offered help
reply
I just recently told my dad I’m tired all my life I’ve helped, gave and always lended a hand to all and any that come to my path, especially my friends, but I end up forgetting myself constantly, I scold my friends when they don’t take care of themselves properly, meanwhile I neglect myself a lot. I also basically became a father figure and therapist for my friends, I always tell them they can come to me for anything, as a kid I always said my purpose in life was to help anyone, but recently I became so tired but I still continue to helpAfter all I’m always availableand I’ve always offered help
reply
adream0fsin
I wanted friends who would do least half of the worry and love I gave to them, everytime I was met with me doing most if not all the work in the friendship to keep it alive, there are very few people in the world I don't empathize with and it sucks the joy out of life, I see people and animals. even at times plants and my heart breaks when they suffer, and it can be extremely overwhelming just to watch the news. I am glad I can empathize but it hurts so much I wish there was a switch or a dial I could turn at times cuz sometimes its feels like no one can see me but I see everyone else.
reply
I wanted friends who would do least half of the worry and love I gave to them, everytime I was met with me doing most if not all the work in the friendship to keep it alive, there are very few people in the world I don't empathize with and it sucks the joy out of life, I see people and animals. even at times plants and my heart breaks when they suffer, and it can be extremely overwhelming just to watch the news. I am glad I can empathize but it hurts so much I wish there was a switch or a dial I could turn at times cuz sometimes its feels like no one can see me but I see everyone else.
reply
clintwolf-i6u
My empathy is both a blessing and a curse. I feel terrible for people that are struggling, hungry, etc. However, my empathy goes much deeper than that. I’ve always loved animals. Six years ago, I went into cardiac arrest during a stress test, and was brought back to life after my doctor pounded on my chest. After that, and my subsequent open heart surgery, my empathy went through the roof. If I know any animal is struggling, right down to an insect, I get extremely upset, and get chest pains, as is happening at the moment I’m writing these words!
reply
My empathy is both a blessing and a curse. I feel terrible for people that are struggling, hungry, etc. However, my empathy goes much deeper than that. I’ve always loved animals. Six years ago, I went into cardiac arrest during a stress test, and was brought back to life after my doctor pounded on my chest. After that, and my subsequent open heart surgery, my empathy went through the roof. If I know any animal is struggling, right down to an insect, I get extremely upset, and get chest pains, as is happening at the moment I’m writing these words!
reply
Ph1llteredName
Can you please go into more details (be it a whole video or just a reply here) regarding Relationship Burnout (2: 21. I'm currently in a relationship that is really unstable due to my partner having gone through so much in life, and I know it's affecting me a lot after taking care of them for a long time now. We both want it to work but it's been super heavy on our minds.
If there is any advice people here can give, it'd be very much appreciated. It's difficult to have a serious conversation when we're both feeling terrible.
reply
Can you please go into more details (be it a whole video or just a reply here) regarding Relationship Burnout (2: 21. I'm currently in a relationship that is really unstable due to my partner having gone through so much in life, and I know it's affecting me a lot after taking care of them for a long time now. We both want it to work but it's been super heavy on our minds.
If there is any advice people here can give, it'd be very much appreciated. It's difficult to have a serious conversation when we're both feeling terrible.
reply
ericrobinson2114
Wow, I can definitely relate so much to this, and can see I have these traits to a degree. I learned why I slowly drift away as the relationship moves. I soak up the person's feelings on that level and as they mentioned burned me out. Now I do a lot of meditation understand myself more and safeguard my feelings to a degree. I relate to the person, but I find ways to fit my emotions and logical explanations in one to not risk burning myself out throughout the relationship. It does get tricky well for me at least to catch these.
reply
Wow, I can definitely relate so much to this, and can see I have these traits to a degree. I learned why I slowly drift away as the relationship moves. I soak up the person's feelings on that level and as they mentioned burned me out. Now I do a lot of meditation understand myself more and safeguard my feelings to a degree. I relate to the person, but I find ways to fit my emotions and logical explanations in one to not risk burning myself out throughout the relationship. It does get tricky well for me at least to catch these.
reply
psych2go
I was empathetic from childhood, but became considerably more so as an adult directly because of undescribably horrific life experiences. Reliving the trauma of others and throwing myself into trying to help everyone is very depleting --- and I can't really stop doing it. It is a dangerous thing to have too much empathy. I can't find a way to break my repeated cycles of breaking down to the point of s. Ideation, and then recovering somewhat for the next one. This has been going on for longer than I remember.
reply
I was empathetic from childhood, but became considerably more so as an adult directly because of undescribably horrific life experiences. Reliving the trauma of others and throwing myself into trying to help everyone is very depleting --- and I can't really stop doing it. It is a dangerous thing to have too much empathy. I can't find a way to break my repeated cycles of breaking down to the point of s. Ideation, and then recovering somewhat for the next one. This has been going on for longer than I remember.
reply
keita3781
Thank you for uploading a worthwatching video.
Here I am a also empathetic person. Sometimes it goes too much that I feel rushed that I should always be empathetic towards everyone of you. It almost makes me feel weird when I am not having empathetic for someone. Yeah it drains my energy and heart.
People here on this video need to learn the capacity of being empathetic for someone and how you going to use it. Sometime you need rest for yourself, and it is not bad
reply
Thank you for uploading a worthwatching video.
Here I am a also empathetic person. Sometimes it goes too much that I feel rushed that I should always be empathetic towards everyone of you. It almost makes me feel weird when I am not having empathetic for someone. Yeah it drains my energy and heart.
People here on this video need to learn the capacity of being empathetic for someone and how you going to use it. Sometime you need rest for yourself, and it is not bad
reply
BCSchmerker
Psych2GoTv #ActuallyAutistic I FEIGN empathy ALL the time:
0: 47 Devil's Advocate: Eschewed as of 24 December 2024.
1: 27 Unreciprocation: As of 24 December 2024 THIS is my static.
2: 20 Relationship Burnout: Know not as of 24 December 2024.
3: 20 Emotional Availability: Know not as of 24 December 2024.
4: 19 Vicarious Trauma: Unknown to me as of 24 December 2024.
6: 51 Is Confidence the Key Know not as of 24 December 2024.
reply
Psych2GoTv #ActuallyAutistic I FEIGN empathy ALL the time:
0: 47 Devil's Advocate: Eschewed as of 24 December 2024.
1: 27 Unreciprocation: As of 24 December 2024 THIS is my static.
2: 20 Relationship Burnout: Know not as of 24 December 2024.
3: 20 Emotional Availability: Know not as of 24 December 2024.
4: 19 Vicarious Trauma: Unknown to me as of 24 December 2024.
6: 51 Is Confidence the Key Know not as of 24 December 2024.
reply
TeaRexInACup
This is perfect. I feel my empathy has been a strength, but also caused me to feel more pain for others than is healthy for me. Wanting to feel valued, I tend to lean into it more and willing to take more misery onto myself. A few other things added for me to bring forward in therapy as a result of watching this video and typing out this message. Thank you for the amazing content, happy holidays and may you and your team have a great end to the year.
reply
This is perfect. I feel my empathy has been a strength, but also caused me to feel more pain for others than is healthy for me. Wanting to feel valued, I tend to lean into it more and willing to take more misery onto myself. A few other things added for me to bring forward in therapy as a result of watching this video and typing out this message. Thank you for the amazing content, happy holidays and may you and your team have a great end to the year.
reply
chrisvenusangel
As a empath whose always the person friends go to, when shit htis the fan i appreciate this video shedding light on empathy being a double edge sword that people do not talk about. I've shared my fair share of mental health issues due to absorbing too much bad emotions, and not knowing my limits as to how much i can handle, and needing to enforce stricter boundaries. I see being an empath as a power but it is a power that is a double edge sword.
reply
As a empath whose always the person friends go to, when shit htis the fan i appreciate this video shedding light on empathy being a double edge sword that people do not talk about. I've shared my fair share of mental health issues due to absorbing too much bad emotions, and not knowing my limits as to how much i can handle, and needing to enforce stricter boundaries. I see being an empath as a power but it is a power that is a double edge sword.
reply
education
i hate my empathy. sometimes I rarely i have cried for animals and people i barely know.
I'm forcing myself to be a jackass and more aggressive. Cause I'm done with people hurting me. nothing good ever came from it.
If you find good people. they stop valuing because you are always there for them no matter what. if you find bad people they just use you and manipulate you.
i'm done. I will force myself on not caring about anyone
reply
i hate my empathy. sometimes I rarely i have cried for animals and people i barely know.
I'm forcing myself to be a jackass and more aggressive. Cause I'm done with people hurting me. nothing good ever came from it.
If you find good people. they stop valuing because you are always there for them no matter what. if you find bad people they just use you and manipulate you.
i'm done. I will force myself on not caring about anyone
reply
NinaNostalgia24
Watching this video broken my heart because throughout my life I was always bullied relentlessly when I realised that not everyone is kind that made me want to help and make the world a better place that's why I loved empathy. I am actually an Empath and i try to help people but I didn't know there was a dark side to empathy. The parts about being an empath is very accurate. I'm sorry about the dark traits of being an Empath!
reply
Watching this video broken my heart because throughout my life I was always bullied relentlessly when I realised that not everyone is kind that made me want to help and make the world a better place that's why I loved empathy. I am actually an Empath and i try to help people but I didn't know there was a dark side to empathy. The parts about being an empath is very accurate. I'm sorry about the dark traits of being an Empath!
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
