6 Things You Didn’t Know Were Loneliness
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Date: 2024-06-07
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Comments and reviews: 20
PedroLucas-ym8pu
I spent 7 years of my life with almost the same people but during all that time I never got close to them because firstly I didn't care and secondly I was afraid because at first it was fear and over time I stopped caring but when I entered high school and started to have a little more contact with others I started to reflect on how my relationship with my classmates was, the teachers and staff at my school, I started to notice how many times someone tried to help me and I just didn't realize it, and I also realized how much more visible I was than I thought I was, I started to evaluate the relationship I had with my father and how unfortunately similar I am (I'm not a totally good person) and I look back to the beginning of high school and see how much I could have done differently but my fear and the lack of knowing what I had to do terrified me. Now, in June 2024, in my second year of high school, I feel alone, disconnected even from those who tried to support me. Today, I act like a crazy person in class, being something of a clown, everyone jokes about me, calling me crazy, and I often feel bad because I'm always trying to draw attention to myself, and there come times when I can't keep quiet, and this is the result of the size of my loneliness, the size of God.
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I spent 7 years of my life with almost the same people but during all that time I never got close to them because firstly I didn't care and secondly I was afraid because at first it was fear and over time I stopped caring but when I entered high school and started to have a little more contact with others I started to reflect on how my relationship with my classmates was, the teachers and staff at my school, I started to notice how many times someone tried to help me and I just didn't realize it, and I also realized how much more visible I was than I thought I was, I started to evaluate the relationship I had with my father and how unfortunately similar I am (I'm not a totally good person) and I look back to the beginning of high school and see how much I could have done differently but my fear and the lack of knowing what I had to do terrified me. Now, in June 2024, in my second year of high school, I feel alone, disconnected even from those who tried to support me. Today, I act like a crazy person in class, being something of a clown, everyone jokes about me, calling me crazy, and I often feel bad because I'm always trying to draw attention to myself, and there come times when I can't keep quiet, and this is the result of the size of my loneliness, the size of God.
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kindnesstemmie6625
I believe I've been dealing with loneliness for a long while. I graduated high school in 2022 and indecisively didn't go to college for a semester. All my school friends left, I had some major life events ending in my available family being severely limited, and my passions for game development burnt out. I hoped college would fill it in, and even try to finally start dating, but no matter how many people I talk to and how many connections I try to make, I still feel like something just isn't there for me. I haven't really had that same experience I had in high school, where I would be excited to go talk to one of my friends and just shoot the shit at lunch or gym. It always feels draining to go to social gatherings or hang out with these people, even when more often than not I walk away happier for talking to them, though I think that's mainly because of all the other issues I developed in that truly lonely period. What doesn't help is me wanting them to be the ones to reach out, even though I know that it's unproductive to constantly leave my satisfaction to others, but I feel like I'm always the one sticking myself out there to talk to new people and make everyone feel comfortable and laugh, only for them to forget I exist once I get in my car and go home.
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I believe I've been dealing with loneliness for a long while. I graduated high school in 2022 and indecisively didn't go to college for a semester. All my school friends left, I had some major life events ending in my available family being severely limited, and my passions for game development burnt out. I hoped college would fill it in, and even try to finally start dating, but no matter how many people I talk to and how many connections I try to make, I still feel like something just isn't there for me. I haven't really had that same experience I had in high school, where I would be excited to go talk to one of my friends and just shoot the shit at lunch or gym. It always feels draining to go to social gatherings or hang out with these people, even when more often than not I walk away happier for talking to them, though I think that's mainly because of all the other issues I developed in that truly lonely period. What doesn't help is me wanting them to be the ones to reach out, even though I know that it's unproductive to constantly leave my satisfaction to others, but I feel like I'm always the one sticking myself out there to talk to new people and make everyone feel comfortable and laugh, only for them to forget I exist once I get in my car and go home.
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anthonywong7906
This video has really hit every single point for methat never happened before.
I become really over talkative when I talk about my past, which contributed to my loneliness today. I genuinely only talk about it to people who I consider friends today, but like the video mentioned, I didn’t feel connected with anyone just by talking about it.
I have abandonment issues. I cannot let go of close friendships. I became a people pleaser just because I really want others to not think poorly of me.
I spend a decent amount of time on social media, sometimes a little too much, and this point doesn’t really affect me since I typically only view informational content or journaling.
I was actually aware that this contributed to my loneliness, as I learned the hard way not to give myself too much schoolwork. Nowadays, I ironically gave myself even more work, but I am at least happy with the work I have.
I am extremely shy, despite wanting to connect to other people. For the life of god for me, I cannot bring myself to talk to my crush (who is now aware that I liked her, and friend zoned me) in person.
The irony is that I hated being home, because I always felt lonely at home.
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This video has really hit every single point for methat never happened before.
I become really over talkative when I talk about my past, which contributed to my loneliness today. I genuinely only talk about it to people who I consider friends today, but like the video mentioned, I didn’t feel connected with anyone just by talking about it.
I have abandonment issues. I cannot let go of close friendships. I became a people pleaser just because I really want others to not think poorly of me.
I spend a decent amount of time on social media, sometimes a little too much, and this point doesn’t really affect me since I typically only view informational content or journaling.
I was actually aware that this contributed to my loneliness, as I learned the hard way not to give myself too much schoolwork. Nowadays, I ironically gave myself even more work, but I am at least happy with the work I have.
I am extremely shy, despite wanting to connect to other people. For the life of god for me, I cannot bring myself to talk to my crush (who is now aware that I liked her, and friend zoned me) in person.
The irony is that I hated being home, because I always felt lonely at home.
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KopyErr
Excuse me The feeling emotionally drained after social interactions that hits TOO CLOSE TO HOME
Caused so much problem in my life
AND OVERLY HELPFUL TOO rhat has been such a major part in my life
Omfg its like theyve been spying on what ive been saying and doing
Ive said i like helping people because their second hand happiness affects me to be happy and it makes me feel less lonely and wanted
The drained after social interactions, i think its cuz i kinda lost my ability to be myself and talk with soul and energy. I just scramble muddily in my brain to geasp at a response because ive just been so awkwardly souless, its very draining to think of a response after every single message, and i cut off the chat shortly after (so no meaningful/authentic fun interactions because I lost my ability to be myself)
And the overly helpful, people vent to me and talk to me about my problems, but i cant make actual fun jokey relationships with them, so i just cement myself as just a councillor because i cant be any other type of friend to them
And it gets even more draining and stuff to always be giving that constant support with nothing coming back for me
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Excuse me The feeling emotionally drained after social interactions that hits TOO CLOSE TO HOME
Caused so much problem in my life
AND OVERLY HELPFUL TOO rhat has been such a major part in my life
Omfg its like theyve been spying on what ive been saying and doing
Ive said i like helping people because their second hand happiness affects me to be happy and it makes me feel less lonely and wanted
The drained after social interactions, i think its cuz i kinda lost my ability to be myself and talk with soul and energy. I just scramble muddily in my brain to geasp at a response because ive just been so awkwardly souless, its very draining to think of a response after every single message, and i cut off the chat shortly after (so no meaningful/authentic fun interactions because I lost my ability to be myself)
And the overly helpful, people vent to me and talk to me about my problems, but i cant make actual fun jokey relationships with them, so i just cement myself as just a councillor because i cant be any other type of friend to them
And it gets even more draining and stuff to always be giving that constant support with nothing coming back for me
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RoysMyBoy
Literally, all of this is me, though I hide it from my family & friends cause I don't want to worry or burden them in some way. I've been mostly isolated in my parents' house, having to rely on them to take me wherever I want. We sometimes have lengthy negotiations about if and when I can go out. And they wonder why I act immaturely sometimes. I just want to be free nothing more nothing less, I also yearn to be in a committed romantic relationship one day. Lately every day that goes by these feelings of loneliness and longing increase and cause a burning pain in my chest. ( No I did not make this up for attention) I've been dealing with this since late 2019 I'm a 22 yr old guy who's finally about to get into college and make some friends for the first time in forever. Still i've no job and can't afford car insurance and haven't learned how to drive yet, though I guess life is a step-by-step process right I'm confident things will get better soon! I just have to be patient and persistent when pursuing my goals!
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Literally, all of this is me, though I hide it from my family & friends cause I don't want to worry or burden them in some way. I've been mostly isolated in my parents' house, having to rely on them to take me wherever I want. We sometimes have lengthy negotiations about if and when I can go out. And they wonder why I act immaturely sometimes. I just want to be free nothing more nothing less, I also yearn to be in a committed romantic relationship one day. Lately every day that goes by these feelings of loneliness and longing increase and cause a burning pain in my chest. ( No I did not make this up for attention) I've been dealing with this since late 2019 I'm a 22 yr old guy who's finally about to get into college and make some friends for the first time in forever. Still i've no job and can't afford car insurance and haven't learned how to drive yet, though I guess life is a step-by-step process right I'm confident things will get better soon! I just have to be patient and persistent when pursuing my goals!
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DERRELL-qw8kw
I personally am going through a lot of emotional and mental health issues right now, and the road to recovery is hard. The thing I find hard the most is seeing value in myself and my talents, and life is just survival mode for me, I don’t like it, my interest feel like work everyday, and I isolate myself from my friends because I feel like I don’t deserve their attention, plus I feel like I’m a burden to them. It also doesn’t help with all the stressors and challenges happening in my life right now either, I’ve felt this way ever since high school. Luckily, I speak to my therapist and she says I might be suffering from depression, which is stressing me out already, as I already have Autism, Social Anxiety, and ADHD. She luckily has me on meds for it, and it helps a bit, but I now realize that the road to recovery involves being more nice to myself, and honestly, it’s hard to do that. I’m feeling okay today though, I didn’t mean to overshare, I just was hope I could start a conversation.
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I personally am going through a lot of emotional and mental health issues right now, and the road to recovery is hard. The thing I find hard the most is seeing value in myself and my talents, and life is just survival mode for me, I don’t like it, my interest feel like work everyday, and I isolate myself from my friends because I feel like I don’t deserve their attention, plus I feel like I’m a burden to them. It also doesn’t help with all the stressors and challenges happening in my life right now either, I’ve felt this way ever since high school. Luckily, I speak to my therapist and she says I might be suffering from depression, which is stressing me out already, as I already have Autism, Social Anxiety, and ADHD. She luckily has me on meds for it, and it helps a bit, but I now realize that the road to recovery involves being more nice to myself, and honestly, it’s hard to do that. I’m feeling okay today though, I didn’t mean to overshare, I just was hope I could start a conversation.
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gabrielvera8988
I already knew I was lonely, but seeing that 6/6 of the things mentioned fit me was like Holy cow, this is worse than I thought cause, I always help my classmates but gets tiring over time, I fell in love with 4 people in less than 2 years, just two of them kinda worked, my friends were just people to hang out rather than people who would hear my insecurities, and the few that did, well, I already mentioned them, and yeah, I'm telling my backstory to a whole lot of strangers in social media after scrolling for 4 hours while not interacting with my mom looking for entretainment, so yeah, I'm very lonely rn and I don't know how to handle it.
I'm not gonna self-harm or anything like that, but idk what to do.
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I already knew I was lonely, but seeing that 6/6 of the things mentioned fit me was like Holy cow, this is worse than I thought cause, I always help my classmates but gets tiring over time, I fell in love with 4 people in less than 2 years, just two of them kinda worked, my friends were just people to hang out rather than people who would hear my insecurities, and the few that did, well, I already mentioned them, and yeah, I'm telling my backstory to a whole lot of strangers in social media after scrolling for 4 hours while not interacting with my mom looking for entretainment, so yeah, I'm very lonely rn and I don't know how to handle it.
I'm not gonna self-harm or anything like that, but idk what to do.
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psych2go
I’m stuck out in the country due to my parents poor choices in buy a home and it’s been this way 8 years I can’t really hang out with the few friends I have because ones got military parents and the other is getting into the world and is constantly busy. I can’t go to gatherings because I’m being quarantined to where I can’t go to one. I’m can’t rally make and friends that won’t abandon me because I’m neurodivergent. The worse part is that all I get to do all summer is sit inside alone with my siblings that I have issues with. I’m on my senior year this fall but idk if it will fix anything of my issues. Even if I was out of school what would I do then.
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I’m stuck out in the country due to my parents poor choices in buy a home and it’s been this way 8 years I can’t really hang out with the few friends I have because ones got military parents and the other is getting into the world and is constantly busy. I can’t go to gatherings because I’m being quarantined to where I can’t go to one. I’m can’t rally make and friends that won’t abandon me because I’m neurodivergent. The worse part is that all I get to do all summer is sit inside alone with my siblings that I have issues with. I’m on my senior year this fall but idk if it will fix anything of my issues. Even if I was out of school what would I do then.
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katyhoward8709
Thank you for all these videos. Im current; y waiting for therapy to start, but these videos have given me some insight into what I may be dealing with. I’m already diagnosed with depression and anxiety (and due to these getting worse I reached out for more therapy) but now I have concerns that ADHD/ADD and now loneliness are playing their part too. Will be interesting to see if by bringing these up they are something I’m dealing with, or just my brain overthinking and breaking a little! Lots of virtual hugs for everyone watching, I hope the sun shines a little brighter for you each day xx
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Thank you for all these videos. Im current; y waiting for therapy to start, but these videos have given me some insight into what I may be dealing with. I’m already diagnosed with depression and anxiety (and due to these getting worse I reached out for more therapy) but now I have concerns that ADHD/ADD and now loneliness are playing their part too. Will be interesting to see if by bringing these up they are something I’m dealing with, or just my brain overthinking and breaking a little! Lots of virtual hugs for everyone watching, I hope the sun shines a little brighter for you each day xx
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ronn0246
I kinda feel that I don t prioritize friendships enough. I don't relate very much with what you said tough. I like being alone and if I just have someone in the background, I don't feel lonely, even tough I don't have a deep conection with that person. I would like to have more meaningful connections. I grew as a person and I have more self esteem now but I m still picky when it comes to friends. I don't relate much with the other boys. I think girls can be great friends but if I don't have a girlfriend it gets all interpreted in a lot of ways. and I can accidently make them fall in love with me.
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I kinda feel that I don t prioritize friendships enough. I don't relate very much with what you said tough. I like being alone and if I just have someone in the background, I don't feel lonely, even tough I don't have a deep conection with that person. I would like to have more meaningful connections. I grew as a person and I have more self esteem now but I m still picky when it comes to friends. I don't relate much with the other boys. I think girls can be great friends but if I don't have a girlfriend it gets all interpreted in a lot of ways. and I can accidently make them fall in love with me.
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lindaalvarez8855
Since my husband's passing away on April 22nd of this year, I'm feeling very lonely. Even if /or when I'm with other people, I still feel alone & lonely! I hate being alone. I use my phone games to distract myself when I'm home alone. Especially at night when I realize that my husband is gone for good after being married to him for over 35 years & being together for 39 years. He was my everything. My soul-mate, best & only friend & confidante. Now, I have no one except for my stuffed animals (my babies) who console me during this difficult time. They've become my only friends.
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Since my husband's passing away on April 22nd of this year, I'm feeling very lonely. Even if /or when I'm with other people, I still feel alone & lonely! I hate being alone. I use my phone games to distract myself when I'm home alone. Especially at night when I realize that my husband is gone for good after being married to him for over 35 years & being together for 39 years. He was my everything. My soul-mate, best & only friend & confidante. Now, I have no one except for my stuffed animals (my babies) who console me during this difficult time. They've become my only friends.
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kyon. _. 8447
i remembered when it was our first day of school, there was quite a people that wants to be friends with me because i appear my life to bw interesting in social media. i didn't really know how to socialize so i avoided all of them i was scared at interacting even though i wanted to have many friends so bad. The ending, i was left alone. I didn't had anyone in school. I was nobodies favourite and my emotion is not working properly. i don't know anymore on what do we'll be back to school this august but as new section now so what do i do to avoid this feeling again
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i remembered when it was our first day of school, there was quite a people that wants to be friends with me because i appear my life to bw interesting in social media. i didn't really know how to socialize so i avoided all of them i was scared at interacting even though i wanted to have many friends so bad. The ending, i was left alone. I didn't had anyone in school. I was nobodies favourite and my emotion is not working properly. i don't know anymore on what do we'll be back to school this august but as new section now so what do i do to avoid this feeling again
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kysewo
I do struggle a bit with loneliness still, but what helps me, Is pushing my comfort zone. By this, I mean that you can try harder to make new friends, and initiate contact. If the person is interested, they will likely initiate themselves after a while. And i have also noticed that whenever i hang out with a friend, they are more likely to want to do so the next couple of days. So my advice would be to find an area where you can easily meet new people with things in common with you, such as sport clubs, school, and arrangements. Hope this was helpful for someone!
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I do struggle a bit with loneliness still, but what helps me, Is pushing my comfort zone. By this, I mean that you can try harder to make new friends, and initiate contact. If the person is interested, they will likely initiate themselves after a while. And i have also noticed that whenever i hang out with a friend, they are more likely to want to do so the next couple of days. So my advice would be to find an area where you can easily meet new people with things in common with you, such as sport clubs, school, and arrangements. Hope this was helpful for someone!
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agent11eat50
I felt loneliness as even as a kid in Elementary school as a person who had been born in 2002 born with a disability first had to learn ASL cause couldn't talk had a speech impediment when I was able to talk in Middle School around that time had a porn addiction which messed me up as a whole person got legit trauma from It so that legit doesn't help and I self medicate with MJ not smoking It and avoiding ever watching porn knows my triggers I just want to be ok really which I am but in an unhealthy coping mechanism way traded 1 addiction to the current 1
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I felt loneliness as even as a kid in Elementary school as a person who had been born in 2002 born with a disability first had to learn ASL cause couldn't talk had a speech impediment when I was able to talk in Middle School around that time had a porn addiction which messed me up as a whole person got legit trauma from It so that legit doesn't help and I self medicate with MJ not smoking It and avoiding ever watching porn knows my triggers I just want to be ok really which I am but in an unhealthy coping mechanism way traded 1 addiction to the current 1
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lb. a157
In my case, I got to a point where I lost interest in making connections besides family and my old long time friends. Like, I try to interact with people, but I lack the natural drive to do so. I can be social, civil and polite, but I don't like social gatherings, I get bored and I feel happier alone at home with my pets. At work, I feel happier when I'm working alone and depressed and stressed when there's people around. So far, I don't know a single person who relates to that during my Mr than 30 years alive.
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In my case, I got to a point where I lost interest in making connections besides family and my old long time friends. Like, I try to interact with people, but I lack the natural drive to do so. I can be social, civil and polite, but I don't like social gatherings, I get bored and I feel happier alone at home with my pets. At work, I feel happier when I'm working alone and depressed and stressed when there's people around. So far, I don't know a single person who relates to that during my Mr than 30 years alive.
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littysavior9181
The hard part for me during summer is that all of my friends are in the same boat as me [adhd and/or asd, and introverted/ambiverted].
I cant just go visit them; I cant drive.
I cant just go over to their place; mom requires me to fully plan out the event.
Im going to college soon.
Some of my friends dont have phones.
And most of them just play videogames without me.
I dont want to be lonely in summer! I never have!
But sometimes. theres only so much you can do.
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The hard part for me during summer is that all of my friends are in the same boat as me [adhd and/or asd, and introverted/ambiverted].
I cant just go visit them; I cant drive.
I cant just go over to their place; mom requires me to fully plan out the event.
Im going to college soon.
Some of my friends dont have phones.
And most of them just play videogames without me.
I dont want to be lonely in summer! I never have!
But sometimes. theres only so much you can do.
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psych2go
Tbh the times when im loneliest is on my birthday, cuz people greet me and stuff and my family comes together, but i know their not actually there for me. I know that they just want to see each other and dont really give a damn about my birthday. For example my two best friends, my cousin and big brother, ignored me for most of my birthday and just talked to each other. Im commenting this while i have the courage to but I know Im probably just going to delete this later
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Tbh the times when im loneliest is on my birthday, cuz people greet me and stuff and my family comes together, but i know their not actually there for me. I know that they just want to see each other and dont really give a damn about my birthday. For example my two best friends, my cousin and big brother, ignored me for most of my birthday and just talked to each other. Im commenting this while i have the courage to but I know Im probably just going to delete this later
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BuggyLizzie
I just realised ive been doing all of these ever since i was 12. I was always surrounded by a very roxic environment since kindergarten. Changing school helped a bit, then i completely relocated to a different country and i still feel the same. Im now 17, never made a single friend. Ill soon be in collage and im extremely goal oriented. I need to work extremely hard in order to accomplish what j want and i know in the midst of that ill never build a true connection.
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I just realised ive been doing all of these ever since i was 12. I was always surrounded by a very roxic environment since kindergarten. Changing school helped a bit, then i completely relocated to a different country and i still feel the same. Im now 17, never made a single friend. Ill soon be in collage and im extremely goal oriented. I need to work extremely hard in order to accomplish what j want and i know in the midst of that ill never build a true connection.
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Veil_ofthevoid
Oversharing when people listen, because no one ever does. Becoming obsessive about relationships, because I have to pretend I’m still capable of love. Being overly helpful, because I have to make myself useful, somehow. Constantly seeking distractions, because I’ve only ever felt the consequences of reality. Feeling emotionally drained after every social interaction, because lying about there being anything about me that would intrigue anyone, is exhausting.
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Oversharing when people listen, because no one ever does. Becoming obsessive about relationships, because I have to pretend I’m still capable of love. Being overly helpful, because I have to make myself useful, somehow. Constantly seeking distractions, because I’ve only ever felt the consequences of reality. Feeling emotionally drained after every social interaction, because lying about there being anything about me that would intrigue anyone, is exhausting.
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Conceptbonnie
Now that I realize I’ve been overly helpful without getting anything back and most of the time it being detrimental to me. What should I do to stop doing such thing Because it’s not like I can tell them no out of nowhere once I’ve already helped them all school year. I tend to get nervous when saying no to someone so it usually endswith me saying yes and they getting what the needed from me, so I honestly don’t know what to do.
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Now that I realize I’ve been overly helpful without getting anything back and most of the time it being detrimental to me. What should I do to stop doing such thing Because it’s not like I can tell them no out of nowhere once I’ve already helped them all school year. I tend to get nervous when saying no to someone so it usually endswith me saying yes and they getting what the needed from me, so I honestly don’t know what to do.
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