8 Signs You Have a Weak Sense of Self
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Date: 2023-08-20
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• TED-Ed
Comments and reviews: 25
John
I feel ashamed. Today at work was awful. I was taken to my supervisor's office with her and a high-ranking chef. They (or mostly the chef) told me that I've been touching my coworkers too much. Not THAT type of touch, of course not! Just casual ones, like on arms or shoulders. I was always very outgoing at work. When I asked her if anyone reported a complaint, she said it didn't matter. She told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, and that I pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school (I work at a university's catering service. She told me I shouldn't tell my stories because they may be inappropriate to my coworkers. Now yeah, I pretty much don't have a filter, and sometimes I guess I do say inappropriate stuff at work, but not horribly nor intentionally. I like to joke around and have fun with my coworkers, but I guess it isn't like that after all (more or less. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about what and who. She understands and likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits, for good behavior and my coworkers' sake. And again, that I shouldn't touch my coworkers (shoulders or arms) without their consent. But seriously, I'm not a creep! I don't randomly hug people or anything like that. I didn't mean to be so handsy (I say loosely. I'm so embarrassed about the office lecture. I am not like Biden at all. I'm really not. Have I really gone that far at work? I already hate being on the spectrum, and sometimes I actually hate myself. I wish I could work somewhere, not only for my coworkers' sake (should that presumption be true) and myself, because I'm so ashamed.
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I feel ashamed. Today at work was awful. I was taken to my supervisor's office with her and a high-ranking chef. They (or mostly the chef) told me that I've been touching my coworkers too much. Not THAT type of touch, of course not! Just casual ones, like on arms or shoulders. I was always very outgoing at work. When I asked her if anyone reported a complaint, she said it didn't matter. She told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment, and that I pretty much shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school (I work at a university's catering service. She told me I shouldn't tell my stories because they may be inappropriate to my coworkers. Now yeah, I pretty much don't have a filter, and sometimes I guess I do say inappropriate stuff at work, but not horribly nor intentionally. I like to joke around and have fun with my coworkers, but I guess it isn't like that after all (more or less. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about what and who. She understands and likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits, for good behavior and my coworkers' sake. And again, that I shouldn't touch my coworkers (shoulders or arms) without their consent. But seriously, I'm not a creep! I don't randomly hug people or anything like that. I didn't mean to be so handsy (I say loosely. I'm so embarrassed about the office lecture. I am not like Biden at all. I'm really not. Have I really gone that far at work? I already hate being on the spectrum, and sometimes I actually hate myself. I wish I could work somewhere, not only for my coworkers' sake (should that presumption be true) and myself, because I'm so ashamed.
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Julieta
Is anyone else very switch with all of these? I have a REALLY hard time saying no, im a people pleaser in that sense. But i also have been able to manage saying no from time to time. I have moments of so much confidence but also the worst lows ever. I have a good grip on all of my interests, but i usually use them for other people (baking, painting) i do those for others not myself. I am always seeking validation from people even tho i know in my heart my own value. I hate being alone it makes me sad, but i also feel a heavy need to get away from ppl. I am indecisive but can step up if i REALLY need to. If someone else needs me and i care about them im there, idc how sick or tired i am i am THERE. Honestly frustrate myself w the codependency cus i do it only emotionally. And i need other people ground me and bring my spiral thoughts to reality or i begin to use bad habits
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Is anyone else very switch with all of these? I have a REALLY hard time saying no, im a people pleaser in that sense. But i also have been able to manage saying no from time to time. I have moments of so much confidence but also the worst lows ever. I have a good grip on all of my interests, but i usually use them for other people (baking, painting) i do those for others not myself. I am always seeking validation from people even tho i know in my heart my own value. I hate being alone it makes me sad, but i also feel a heavy need to get away from ppl. I am indecisive but can step up if i REALLY need to. If someone else needs me and i care about them im there, idc how sick or tired i am i am THERE. Honestly frustrate myself w the codependency cus i do it only emotionally. And i need other people ground me and bring my spiral thoughts to reality or i begin to use bad habits
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SHADY
I relate to all except having difficulty spending time with myself. Im extremely introspective and Id say I know myself pretty well, well enough to know I have no idea what I want to persue lol. The problem with me is that im extremely curious and I have an interest in too many things to keep track of. I also am a very flexible thinker and naturally see things from multiple perspectives. Even though im introspective, this makes it hard to truly define who I am. I have a vague sense of who I want to be, but current me is nowhere near that and isnt equipped to start taking the steps. Ive tried and restarted so many times.
My confidence and self esteem is crippling my self image and Idk how to get help.
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I relate to all except having difficulty spending time with myself. Im extremely introspective and Id say I know myself pretty well, well enough to know I have no idea what I want to persue lol. The problem with me is that im extremely curious and I have an interest in too many things to keep track of. I also am a very flexible thinker and naturally see things from multiple perspectives. Even though im introspective, this makes it hard to truly define who I am. I have a vague sense of who I want to be, but current me is nowhere near that and isnt equipped to start taking the steps. Ive tried and restarted so many times.
My confidence and self esteem is crippling my self image and Idk how to get help.
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Spark
I didn't think I had such a huge problem with this until watching this video. But you know what, I feel motivated and empowered to start believing in myself and giving myself the consideration I deserved all along! To be in love with yourself first and foremost looks so insanely freeing. Like oh my god, what have I been doing this whole time? Not living! Didn't realise how much I looked to external validation to reflect my worth. Social media makes this problem worse too, creating an idea of good enough.
Tomorrow I'm going to make a collage about who I am because I don't feel very in tune with that.
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I didn't think I had such a huge problem with this until watching this video. But you know what, I feel motivated and empowered to start believing in myself and giving myself the consideration I deserved all along! To be in love with yourself first and foremost looks so insanely freeing. Like oh my god, what have I been doing this whole time? Not living! Didn't realise how much I looked to external validation to reflect my worth. Social media makes this problem worse too, creating an idea of good enough.
Tomorrow I'm going to make a collage about who I am because I don't feel very in tune with that.
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Travis
I relate to 7 of these things. I struggle to find the need to socialise because I have receaded into my own shell for a long time now.
I've only recently started taking steps to better myself. I'm very dependent on the validation and love from my partner but I understand that I need to learn to love myself too.
Life is a strange and wonderful sitcom riddled with obstacles. I understand we all need to be strong. I understand it takes time.
I understand change is inevitable. We might not be comfortable with change but we can still take control.
Life is hard. But it doesn't have to be.
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I relate to 7 of these things. I struggle to find the need to socialise because I have receaded into my own shell for a long time now.
I've only recently started taking steps to better myself. I'm very dependent on the validation and love from my partner but I understand that I need to learn to love myself too.
Life is a strange and wonderful sitcom riddled with obstacles. I understand we all need to be strong. I understand it takes time.
I understand change is inevitable. We might not be comfortable with change but we can still take control.
Life is hard. But it doesn't have to be.
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Pallavi
I wish that I can gain confidence again someday and can be able to love myself. I use to be confident but my family always scold me for most of the things I do from the way I walk to everything and especially certain someone she always tries to make me feel that I am always wrong and shouted at me every time especially in front of others it made me doubt myself so much that I even stop going out most of the time and never even go out to meet friends and all and doubt myself in everything and I use to cry alone hidden but thanks to your video I am taking steps to take good care of my mental health.
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I wish that I can gain confidence again someday and can be able to love myself. I use to be confident but my family always scold me for most of the things I do from the way I walk to everything and especially certain someone she always tries to make me feel that I am always wrong and shouted at me every time especially in front of others it made me doubt myself so much that I even stop going out most of the time and never even go out to meet friends and all and doubt myself in everything and I use to cry alone hidden but thanks to your video I am taking steps to take good care of my mental health.
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Илья
Relatable. I have zero sense of self, I do not have hobbies, do not know what I enjoy, what I want, what I have to wish and look for in life. I enrolled a bachelors degree I have no interest in, got kicked out and now work as a waiter. I don't want this job to define myself, while studying I never really associated myself to that field and didn't feel being a student. For some reason I get an urge to distance myself from everything I take up.
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Relatable. I have zero sense of self, I do not have hobbies, do not know what I enjoy, what I want, what I have to wish and look for in life. I enrolled a bachelors degree I have no interest in, got kicked out and now work as a waiter. I don't want this job to define myself, while studying I never really associated myself to that field and didn't feel being a student. For some reason I get an urge to distance myself from everything I take up.
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Yuya
Friend constantly cares about others over herself. Apologizes for everything even when she did nothing wrong. She draws to keep her mind from going to the dark side of her depression; her art is detailed and she puts care into even small details. When people ask her for commissions, she underprices her art saying shes not that great. This vid sounds like her. And i wish she would realize it and rise up: (
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Friend constantly cares about others over herself. Apologizes for everything even when she did nothing wrong. She draws to keep her mind from going to the dark side of her depression; her art is detailed and she puts care into even small details. When people ask her for commissions, she underprices her art saying shes not that great. This vid sounds like her. And i wish she would realize it and rise up: (
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Leandro
I love this so much! You wont believe how both this and last weeks video about codependency came at an eerily opportune time for me! I was just telling someone who was feeling a little uprooted and lost in life how discovering who you are and your sense of self is the key to confidence.
Then, a few minutes after sending it. BOOOM! A video about a sense of self!
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I love this so much! You wont believe how both this and last weeks video about codependency came at an eerily opportune time for me! I was just telling someone who was feeling a little uprooted and lost in life how discovering who you are and your sense of self is the key to confidence.
Then, a few minutes after sending it. BOOOM! A video about a sense of self!
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Waking
Self acceptance, confidence and self love are all learnable skills that anyone can acquire. Spend time getting to know yourself, learning to love accept who you are now and where you're at now, whilst working on getting to where you want to be in areas where you're not there yet. Everyone deserves love and respect, regardless of where you're at in your journey.
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Self acceptance, confidence and self love are all learnable skills that anyone can acquire. Spend time getting to know yourself, learning to love accept who you are now and where you're at now, whilst working on getting to where you want to be in areas where you're not there yet. Everyone deserves love and respect, regardless of where you're at in your journey.
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B.
+Psych2GoTv Thanks for the list o' warning signs:
0: 58(1) A hard time saying no
1: 22(2) Lack of self-confidence
1: 49(3) Struggle with defining interests and values
2: 19(4) Struggle with self-validation
2: 48(5) Lack of time for solitude
3: 12(6) Frequent indecision
3: 38(7) Disregarding own needs
4: 06(8) Codependency
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+Psych2GoTv Thanks for the list o' warning signs:
0: 58(1) A hard time saying no
1: 22(2) Lack of self-confidence
1: 49(3) Struggle with defining interests and values
2: 19(4) Struggle with self-validation
2: 48(5) Lack of time for solitude
3: 12(6) Frequent indecision
3: 38(7) Disregarding own needs
4: 06(8) Codependency
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Ninjou
well. i relate to a lot of the things listed in this video. the biggest one I can say 'no' on, though, was 'avoiding time alone'. i think i probably spend too much time alone. if i'm not at work, i'm usually alone. i'm only around people at work because i work in customer service, which means other people have to be around.
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well. i relate to a lot of the things listed in this video. the biggest one I can say 'no' on, though, was 'avoiding time alone'. i think i probably spend too much time alone. if i'm not at work, i'm usually alone. i'm only around people at work because i work in customer service, which means other people have to be around.
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Todd
I think personally the parts where I lack self understanding is because sometimes I kind of choose to neglect myself- I dont usually neglect stuff I enjoy like drawing or making music, but sometimes when it comes to eating or going to sleep in time, I just dont bother with it. Neglect necessity and indulge in fantasy.
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I think personally the parts where I lack self understanding is because sometimes I kind of choose to neglect myself- I dont usually neglect stuff I enjoy like drawing or making music, but sometimes when it comes to eating or going to sleep in time, I just dont bother with it. Neglect necessity and indulge in fantasy.
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Sapphire
I have a lot of deep discussions with people and lately, I've been realizing that I don't have my own opinions. I get worked up about views that I can't prove in other circles because they're not my own. I just pick what the group I'm with believes in most assertively and act as if I feel strongly about that too.
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I have a lot of deep discussions with people and lately, I've been realizing that I don't have my own opinions. I get worked up about views that I can't prove in other circles because they're not my own. I just pick what the group I'm with believes in most assertively and act as if I feel strongly about that too.
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Pu
Before I have tons of positivity and happiness in every single day
As I want to help, share and be friends on who want to be friends with me
But now I feel weak and feeling that I'm just a shell of what I've use to be
Like I don't want to be strong or grow
I don't know what I gonna do
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Before I have tons of positivity and happiness in every single day
As I want to help, share and be friends on who want to be friends with me
But now I feel weak and feeling that I'm just a shell of what I've use to be
Like I don't want to be strong or grow
I don't know what I gonna do
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Lulu_TohPlayzXD
i litterly just realized how harsh i have been to my friend who has been like that, i cant believe how much shes struggling i thought she only actec cute for everyone to like her. ill try to give a chance for me to understand her more.
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i litterly just realized how harsh i have been to my friend who has been like that, i cant believe how much shes struggling i thought she only actec cute for everyone to like her. ill try to give a chance for me to understand her more.
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xXArtimisXx
Is there or will there be a follow-up to this giving ways to work on building a stronger sense of self? Especially for friends, family, and significant others to help encourage building a stronger sense of self?
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Is there or will there be a follow-up to this giving ways to work on building a stronger sense of self? Especially for friends, family, and significant others to help encourage building a stronger sense of self?
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Blake
A common mistake in lack of self. If you always tell your boss yes, you could just be a hard worker. But if their taking advantage of you. Saying no is vital. And your job isn't to be liked, but to get the job done.
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A common mistake in lack of self. If you always tell your boss yes, you could just be a hard worker. But if their taking advantage of you. Saying no is vital. And your job isn't to be liked, but to get the job done.
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Comic
One of the only time I've ever been proud of myself is I once had horrible abdominal pain and was throwing up and was Dehydrated and had a IV in my arm but I IDragged the IV around and still came to work
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One of the only time I've ever been proud of myself is I once had horrible abdominal pain and was throwing up and was Dehydrated and had a IV in my arm but I IDragged the IV around and still came to work
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Bluiidayz
The only point I relate to is being indecisive. When I was younger I couldnt decide on a favourite colour so I said my favourite colour was rainbow. Now my favourite colour is definitely blue! :D
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The only point I relate to is being indecisive. When I was younger I couldnt decide on a favourite colour so I said my favourite colour was rainbow. Now my favourite colour is definitely blue! :D
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education
Relating to all of em, hardly can do better, but a bit of an issue with the lonely time, if you spend too much time with yourself (and in bad or toxic environments) you hate yourself etc.
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Relating to all of em, hardly can do better, but a bit of an issue with the lonely time, if you spend too much time with yourself (and in bad or toxic environments) you hate yourself etc.
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Eva
When I saw this I realized that I have a weak sense of self, I finally found at least something that can explain why I am so not trustworthy of myself. This video helped more than it sounds.
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When I saw this I realized that I have a weak sense of self, I finally found at least something that can explain why I am so not trustworthy of myself. This video helped more than it sounds.
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NK
Sadly I relate to all of those, developing an understanding of myself has been a. challenge as of late as I keep hitting dead ends and become more and more confused.
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Sadly I relate to all of those, developing an understanding of myself has been a. challenge as of late as I keep hitting dead ends and become more and more confused.
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Mary
8 out of 8. I can't seem to get past all my trauma. Therapy medication you name it. I'm 57 and I can't take it anymore. My daily anxiety is an 8 out of 10.
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8 out of 8. I can't seem to get past all my trauma. Therapy medication you name it. I'm 57 and I can't take it anymore. My daily anxiety is an 8 out of 10.
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Soundcloud
My self
Personality: Calm, Quiet, Kind, Irritated easily and anxious
Intrests: Yugioh, Fortnite, Skylanders, Music, Subway surfers
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My self
Personality: Calm, Quiet, Kind, Irritated easily and anxious
Intrests: Yugioh, Fortnite, Skylanders, Music, Subway surfers
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