6 Types of Gaslighting To Beware Of
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Hira
This made me realize my mother has been gaslighting me since birth. Now I never know who to trust or what to say, I struggle to get a job despite my work being exceptional for my skill level, and I get hit with PTSD more often since Ive moved away. Recently, I told my mother I no longer trusted her due to financially crippling me (and Im still tryna recover) for getting a carwith my name on itthat Im paying for. She was upset because she wasnt on the phone during the process and for that I had a week to get my rent money which there was none due to being ripped off but whatever.
She got mad that I couldnt go home as if it was my fault that Im financially ruined. To present day, I told incidents where I needed her most and she wasnt there. I gave her credit when she was there but it wasnt often enough for me to let go. She denied it ever happening and said I dreamt it all. I felt offended because she constantly told me my childhood wasnt bad its just all in my head when literally I remember her making me drink car temperature milk even I didnt think I should and I was 5-7years old. She threatened me, I drank it, I threw up and she said nothing. I apologized to her for throwing up.
She continued to deny everything I told her then tried shutting it down with Im your mother! But I countered it with Im a person and you constantly negate that I am! Im not allowed to express my feelings without being treated yet I have watch out for yours!
All my life, I tried ti show my mother that I loved by going above and beyond (if I could) and try let the past go, but she always opens those scars and the forces me to close em back up then ends the misery with I love you. I slowly stopped saying that to her and she realized it. I dont hate her, I just want her to stop being so damn prideful and see the full picture instead of creating a delusion that shes doing good!
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This made me realize my mother has been gaslighting me since birth. Now I never know who to trust or what to say, I struggle to get a job despite my work being exceptional for my skill level, and I get hit with PTSD more often since Ive moved away. Recently, I told my mother I no longer trusted her due to financially crippling me (and Im still tryna recover) for getting a carwith my name on itthat Im paying for. She was upset because she wasnt on the phone during the process and for that I had a week to get my rent money which there was none due to being ripped off but whatever.
She got mad that I couldnt go home as if it was my fault that Im financially ruined. To present day, I told incidents where I needed her most and she wasnt there. I gave her credit when she was there but it wasnt often enough for me to let go. She denied it ever happening and said I dreamt it all. I felt offended because she constantly told me my childhood wasnt bad its just all in my head when literally I remember her making me drink car temperature milk even I didnt think I should and I was 5-7years old. She threatened me, I drank it, I threw up and she said nothing. I apologized to her for throwing up.
She continued to deny everything I told her then tried shutting it down with Im your mother! But I countered it with Im a person and you constantly negate that I am! Im not allowed to express my feelings without being treated yet I have watch out for yours!
All my life, I tried ti show my mother that I loved by going above and beyond (if I could) and try let the past go, but she always opens those scars and the forces me to close em back up then ends the misery with I love you. I slowly stopped saying that to her and she realized it. I dont hate her, I just want her to stop being so damn prideful and see the full picture instead of creating a delusion that shes doing good!
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Liliana
My mom and dad fit these eerily well. Especially the minimizing feelings and rewriting memory ones.
Vent Time
I'm still struggling with feeling like my emotions are valid. Most of the time, I feel like any negative emotion I have is just me being overreactive. I still have trouble with trusting my memory because of them. I swear, I could plug my phone up to charge, and then have to check it 40+ times just to make sure I actually did that. Even when I triple-check, I still get bad anxiety over whether or not my memory is actually trustworthy. The amount of bad childhood experiences I have that I'm still questioning due to my parents telling me that it wasn't real or that I was being dramatic is appalling. My parents have also threatened to leave the family and even kill themselves, my pets, or my siblings whenever they were upset or things didn't go their way. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells whenever I was around them (especially my mom. They convinced me as a child that CPS were evil people who would take me away from my family and that my extended family (who worried about me and my siblings) were the gaslighters and abusers. But then my parents would be caring and sweet, and I would forgive EVERYTHING they did. I could go on and on about all the crap they have done, but I would be here for hours. I can't wait until the day I can cut them off completely. They are some of the most toxic people I know to date.
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My mom and dad fit these eerily well. Especially the minimizing feelings and rewriting memory ones.
Vent Time
I'm still struggling with feeling like my emotions are valid. Most of the time, I feel like any negative emotion I have is just me being overreactive. I still have trouble with trusting my memory because of them. I swear, I could plug my phone up to charge, and then have to check it 40+ times just to make sure I actually did that. Even when I triple-check, I still get bad anxiety over whether or not my memory is actually trustworthy. The amount of bad childhood experiences I have that I'm still questioning due to my parents telling me that it wasn't real or that I was being dramatic is appalling. My parents have also threatened to leave the family and even kill themselves, my pets, or my siblings whenever they were upset or things didn't go their way. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells whenever I was around them (especially my mom. They convinced me as a child that CPS were evil people who would take me away from my family and that my extended family (who worried about me and my siblings) were the gaslighters and abusers. But then my parents would be caring and sweet, and I would forgive EVERYTHING they did. I could go on and on about all the crap they have done, but I would be here for hours. I can't wait until the day I can cut them off completely. They are some of the most toxic people I know to date.
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Doris
After watching this, I have concluded that my best friend IS gaslighting me. For context, I've been feeling left out and sort of like a last option. Like from group conversations or hang outs she doesnt give me an equal amount of attention. I never directly told her this, I had my and her friend tell her for me, since it was hard to explain in my own words. Something similar happened a few weeks ago but she sorta just brushed it off and acted like nothing happened. I needed closure but it wasn't there, I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to ruin things. Here comes the part where she gaslights me, she texted them oh how was I supposed to know if he never told me and he hates me right? hahaha She kept adding haha and lol to the end of her texts and it just hurt me how it seemed like she didn't even care about my problems and treats it like a joke. Oh and she also said that she tried to talk with me but I ignored her I didn't, ok maybe I did at first but that's because I couldn't get it out of myself. She's playing victim when in reality I'm the one who needs my problems fixed. It wasn't always like this and I wish things could go back to normal. We haven't talked in 3 days, we've been ignoring and avoiding each other, not even bothering to look at each others faces. I'm scared that our friendship is going to end soon. :(
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After watching this, I have concluded that my best friend IS gaslighting me. For context, I've been feeling left out and sort of like a last option. Like from group conversations or hang outs she doesnt give me an equal amount of attention. I never directly told her this, I had my and her friend tell her for me, since it was hard to explain in my own words. Something similar happened a few weeks ago but she sorta just brushed it off and acted like nothing happened. I needed closure but it wasn't there, I didn't bring it up because I didn't want to ruin things. Here comes the part where she gaslights me, she texted them oh how was I supposed to know if he never told me and he hates me right? hahaha She kept adding haha and lol to the end of her texts and it just hurt me how it seemed like she didn't even care about my problems and treats it like a joke. Oh and she also said that she tried to talk with me but I ignored her I didn't, ok maybe I did at first but that's because I couldn't get it out of myself. She's playing victim when in reality I'm the one who needs my problems fixed. It wasn't always like this and I wish things could go back to normal. We haven't talked in 3 days, we've been ignoring and avoiding each other, not even bothering to look at each others faces. I'm scared that our friendship is going to end soon. :(
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A.
Yes I've experienced gaslighting though it was always subtle, but effectively invalidating. It was with my family, and I might have put it down to communication and other relational issues (I'm definitely partly to blame as I have my own issues, I realize that every time I tried to explain MY problems and issues, I was ignored, and the conversation would quickly shift to focus on my faults. That I always felt nervous of messing up somehow. In the end, two years ago, I was finally honest with myself that those specific relationships were not making me happy, and since I could not do anything to change their opinions of me (which is what I had probably been struggling to do, I should just quit for my own mental well-being. The complete lack of interest and non-communication from any of them since has been quite telling.
In the end I was the one who cared about them and not the other way around. My fault was being so needy for family that I was willfully blind to so much, and that I allowed a very unhealthy dynamic to evolve. I am now realizing the different ways that everyone, including myself, contributed to what was a rather toxic relationship. I doubt they would see it as gaslighting, but would honestly think that I was the problem and that they had nothing serious to reflect on- which was the problem in a nutshell.
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Yes I've experienced gaslighting though it was always subtle, but effectively invalidating. It was with my family, and I might have put it down to communication and other relational issues (I'm definitely partly to blame as I have my own issues, I realize that every time I tried to explain MY problems and issues, I was ignored, and the conversation would quickly shift to focus on my faults. That I always felt nervous of messing up somehow. In the end, two years ago, I was finally honest with myself that those specific relationships were not making me happy, and since I could not do anything to change their opinions of me (which is what I had probably been struggling to do, I should just quit for my own mental well-being. The complete lack of interest and non-communication from any of them since has been quite telling.
In the end I was the one who cared about them and not the other way around. My fault was being so needy for family that I was willfully blind to so much, and that I allowed a very unhealthy dynamic to evolve. I am now realizing the different ways that everyone, including myself, contributed to what was a rather toxic relationship. I doubt they would see it as gaslighting, but would honestly think that I was the problem and that they had nothing serious to reflect on- which was the problem in a nutshell.
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andrewwillanimate
I think my dad has been gas lighting me yelling at me saying I'm in my own world which hurts because I wish I could most of the time instead of this one I wonder what not being in the world would be like I feel like I wouldn't go to heaven so I feel like it would be bad either way I forgot to wash a bowl of cereal he almost used a belt on me he took away our phones and yelled he hates liars I can't be good enough for him it started in 5th grade now I'm in 8th at least my mom know hoe to show signs of a human being sure she's strict sometimes and I get mad but most of the time she has reasons for it she does snitch though its not fun but at least I can see that she cares for me and doesn't yell at me for my clumsiness I broke something and I got yelled at but then I repaired it and he said good like he doesn't care I always break everything I should just leave my home so I don't break my another things and get yelled at because I'm the breaker even if I try not to be that's my title but hey that's just being the middle child eh was calm, at first but I thought it was me but didn't say yes because I wasn't sure so I kept thinking then he yelled and I didn't know what to do and then our phones got taken away over a unwashed bowl of cereal
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I think my dad has been gas lighting me yelling at me saying I'm in my own world which hurts because I wish I could most of the time instead of this one I wonder what not being in the world would be like I feel like I wouldn't go to heaven so I feel like it would be bad either way I forgot to wash a bowl of cereal he almost used a belt on me he took away our phones and yelled he hates liars I can't be good enough for him it started in 5th grade now I'm in 8th at least my mom know hoe to show signs of a human being sure she's strict sometimes and I get mad but most of the time she has reasons for it she does snitch though its not fun but at least I can see that she cares for me and doesn't yell at me for my clumsiness I broke something and I got yelled at but then I repaired it and he said good like he doesn't care I always break everything I should just leave my home so I don't break my another things and get yelled at because I'm the breaker even if I try not to be that's my title but hey that's just being the middle child eh was calm, at first but I thought it was me but didn't say yes because I wasn't sure so I kept thinking then he yelled and I didn't know what to do and then our phones got taken away over a unwashed bowl of cereal
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Ram
Finding out that Im being gaslighted by my girlfriend by my therapist was super important. I quit weed, I have PTSD so I'm having night terrors without the weed suppressant. My girlfriend got mad at me while I was sleeping so she slammed the door super hard to the spare bedroom. I woke up in fight. I ran around looking if someone kicked the door in. The bedroom door was closed, it's never closed. I grab the handle. It's locked. I knock, hard. No response. I knock harder. No response. I take step back to kick the door down. She opens the door with a smug little smile on her face. Come in my heart is beating so hard it hurts. I ask why she slammed the door so hard. She told me she didn't slam the door. I said she had to, the cat is poofed up. You slammed the door. She said I didn't know I slammed it. I had headphones on. I relax. 7 hours later I text her saying I know she did slam the door. Slammed it on purpose and she was gaslighting me. If she wants to lie about it I'm leaving. She admits to the whole thing. Admits to being mad and slammed it knowing id freak out. Jokes on her. I'm still leaving. All she did was admit she's BEEN gaslighting me and gaslighting me about not gaslighting me. Goodbye Carah.
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Finding out that Im being gaslighted by my girlfriend by my therapist was super important. I quit weed, I have PTSD so I'm having night terrors without the weed suppressant. My girlfriend got mad at me while I was sleeping so she slammed the door super hard to the spare bedroom. I woke up in fight. I ran around looking if someone kicked the door in. The bedroom door was closed, it's never closed. I grab the handle. It's locked. I knock, hard. No response. I knock harder. No response. I take step back to kick the door down. She opens the door with a smug little smile on her face. Come in my heart is beating so hard it hurts. I ask why she slammed the door so hard. She told me she didn't slam the door. I said she had to, the cat is poofed up. You slammed the door. She said I didn't know I slammed it. I had headphones on. I relax. 7 hours later I text her saying I know she did slam the door. Slammed it on purpose and she was gaslighting me. If she wants to lie about it I'm leaving. She admits to the whole thing. Admits to being mad and slammed it knowing id freak out. Jokes on her. I'm still leaving. All she did was admit she's BEEN gaslighting me and gaslighting me about not gaslighting me. Goodbye Carah.
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Pragallabh
Serious question here and looking for broader perspective from other people!
1) Questioning mental health: In a situation where the other person has signs of depression and gives up easily, asking them to reconsider by questioning if their decision is from their limited perspective and present unhealthy state of mind. Is it a form of gaslighting?
2) Human memory can be innately flawed as we love to build up stories to fit our point of view/perspective of the events that happened especially if there's no concrete proof to refer to in the past. Hence questioning someone's different perspective, is it also a form a gaslighting?
Here to just understand what a healthy form of communication is that isn't gaslighting, because i feel humans manipulate their tones, words and actions around others to convey something better, fit in etc. Moreover, a polar opposite perspectives between two individuals in a conflict can also during lead to people questioning each others perspective/timeline of events/actions/words spoken. This can either turn into gaslighting or communication however in my understanding it's a very fine line to walk.
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Serious question here and looking for broader perspective from other people!
1) Questioning mental health: In a situation where the other person has signs of depression and gives up easily, asking them to reconsider by questioning if their decision is from their limited perspective and present unhealthy state of mind. Is it a form of gaslighting?
2) Human memory can be innately flawed as we love to build up stories to fit our point of view/perspective of the events that happened especially if there's no concrete proof to refer to in the past. Hence questioning someone's different perspective, is it also a form a gaslighting?
Here to just understand what a healthy form of communication is that isn't gaslighting, because i feel humans manipulate their tones, words and actions around others to convey something better, fit in etc. Moreover, a polar opposite perspectives between two individuals in a conflict can also during lead to people questioning each others perspective/timeline of events/actions/words spoken. This can either turn into gaslighting or communication however in my understanding it's a very fine line to walk.
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A_Rare_Gem15
Ive watched all of your gaslighting videos and after looking into it. I confidently believe (which is the first time in forever) that I was gaslit by an ex friend. I only began to realise after that friendship was over and they were doing it to my friend (who was their then gf which a few months later turned into exes. The friend kept making excuses for it and it was so hard to witness because I once did it myself. We both learned to self respect ourselves after him. He tried to sabotage our friendship multiple times, more severely each time. But me and his ex are good friends and she has now a healthy relationship with a different dude.
I will never be friends with him again. The pain he put me and especially my friend through is unforgivable to me. I did introduce them to each other but both my friend and I know it aint my fault that his sketchy behaviour wasnt surface level for us to see.
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Ive watched all of your gaslighting videos and after looking into it. I confidently believe (which is the first time in forever) that I was gaslit by an ex friend. I only began to realise after that friendship was over and they were doing it to my friend (who was their then gf which a few months later turned into exes. The friend kept making excuses for it and it was so hard to witness because I once did it myself. We both learned to self respect ourselves after him. He tried to sabotage our friendship multiple times, more severely each time. But me and his ex are good friends and she has now a healthy relationship with a different dude.
I will never be friends with him again. The pain he put me and especially my friend through is unforgivable to me. I did introduce them to each other but both my friend and I know it aint my fault that his sketchy behaviour wasnt surface level for us to see.
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Mr. PeelyFruit
Does anyone know when i should confront my brother about gaslighting/manipulating me?
Evrytime i have a argument with him he starts the argument. I cant confront him bc hell just cut me out or deflecting it. Yes i admit that i was the one who caused it maybe by doing something wrong but the thing is he cant keep it to himself or just forgive me he always say negative things to me or sometimes result to pinching or hitting me. I feel like hes gaslighting me bc he controls what i can do or not do. He told me to not be friends with that guy turns out he nice, he told me to stop making jokes and he took those jokes seriosly. Pls tell me when i should confront him abt this. He is causing me stress and it feels like im walking to a minefield when i talk to him
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Does anyone know when i should confront my brother about gaslighting/manipulating me?
Evrytime i have a argument with him he starts the argument. I cant confront him bc hell just cut me out or deflecting it. Yes i admit that i was the one who caused it maybe by doing something wrong but the thing is he cant keep it to himself or just forgive me he always say negative things to me or sometimes result to pinching or hitting me. I feel like hes gaslighting me bc he controls what i can do or not do. He told me to not be friends with that guy turns out he nice, he told me to stop making jokes and he took those jokes seriosly. Pls tell me when i should confront him abt this. He is causing me stress and it feels like im walking to a minefield when i talk to him
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aaron
Sounds a lot like my girlfriend tbh with you and how she makes me question reality and question myself and always redirecting the blame from her to me even though Ive done nothing wrong apart from bringing up something all I get when I ask a question is your causing trouble and Im like no Im not Im asking a question we should be able to talk to one another about things then I get your the one bringing it up so you must want trouble just for asking a question I feel like she can do what she wants but Im not allowed to comment on it as I get made out to be the one causing drama so it feels like if I dont say anything shes happy to carry on taking the piss
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Sounds a lot like my girlfriend tbh with you and how she makes me question reality and question myself and always redirecting the blame from her to me even though Ive done nothing wrong apart from bringing up something all I get when I ask a question is your causing trouble and Im like no Im not Im asking a question we should be able to talk to one another about things then I get your the one bringing it up so you must want trouble just for asking a question I feel like she can do what she wants but Im not allowed to comment on it as I get made out to be the one causing drama so it feels like if I dont say anything shes happy to carry on taking the piss
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education
I remember one of my old friends from elementary used to do this, playing victim, directing blame, and I'm the only one you should trust. He was EXTREMELY possessive of me and got extremely angry if I decided to play with someone else rather than him You choose THEM over ME? I had him with me EVERY SINGLE CLASS up to 4th. I moved away before 4th grade started; I never saw him again. My cousin always said that he said hi or something, of course I told her to tell him I said hi back, but I never got over how toxic he was to me. He was also really dense like he never really took the hint of a specific thing I wanted to play.
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I remember one of my old friends from elementary used to do this, playing victim, directing blame, and I'm the only one you should trust. He was EXTREMELY possessive of me and got extremely angry if I decided to play with someone else rather than him You choose THEM over ME? I had him with me EVERY SINGLE CLASS up to 4th. I moved away before 4th grade started; I never saw him again. My cousin always said that he said hi or something, of course I told her to tell him I said hi back, but I never got over how toxic he was to me. He was also really dense like he never really took the hint of a specific thing I wanted to play.
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autistic
Whenever I'm going through another depressive episode my mom will start crying, threaten to kick me out of the house, and start bring up her broken marriage with dad saying things like You think I'm happy with my life? I stayed with him so you could live a great life without worrying about money. You know how much I've suffered! I've given you everything you wanted, what more do you want from me? Oh I see, you want to make me mad huh? This is your way of rebelling against me And when I refuse to talk to her about my problems, she'd say You know that even if you talk to a psychiatrist the psychiatrist will tell me right?
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Whenever I'm going through another depressive episode my mom will start crying, threaten to kick me out of the house, and start bring up her broken marriage with dad saying things like You think I'm happy with my life? I stayed with him so you could live a great life without worrying about money. You know how much I've suffered! I've given you everything you wanted, what more do you want from me? Oh I see, you want to make me mad huh? This is your way of rebelling against me And when I refuse to talk to her about my problems, she'd say You know that even if you talk to a psychiatrist the psychiatrist will tell me right?
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Yani
I was gaslit once when I was getting scolded by my sister for not doing my school assignments and when I tried to state about my problem, she gaslit me thinking my it was just an excuse, and then left me contemplating about how I am going to survive in this world and sometime later, I go back to carrying the burden of the so-called responsibilities with absolutely no support.
If we feel like the responsibility is too much for us, we sometimes wanted to run away from it,
but we are being forced to face it.
There's something worse than bad habits that affect us and our futures.
- Yani P.
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I was gaslit once when I was getting scolded by my sister for not doing my school assignments and when I tried to state about my problem, she gaslit me thinking my it was just an excuse, and then left me contemplating about how I am going to survive in this world and sometime later, I go back to carrying the burden of the so-called responsibilities with absolutely no support.
If we feel like the responsibility is too much for us, we sometimes wanted to run away from it,
but we are being forced to face it.
There's something worse than bad habits that affect us and our futures.
- Yani P.
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joyous
Thank you for spreading gaslighting awareness. I had an ex who did all of these to me for nearly three years. I blamed myself for every problem in our relationship. Hed even go as far as to claim I was his girlfriend after I tried to break things off several times. Gaslight me into taking him back. Havent had to deal with gaslighters since then until a potential friend did this to me recently. I recognized it right away and kicked her out of my house for it. It STUNG, but its so worth cutting these type of people out of your life instead of wasting your time and sanity for them.
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Thank you for spreading gaslighting awareness. I had an ex who did all of these to me for nearly three years. I blamed myself for every problem in our relationship. Hed even go as far as to claim I was his girlfriend after I tried to break things off several times. Gaslight me into taking him back. Havent had to deal with gaslighters since then until a potential friend did this to me recently. I recognized it right away and kicked her out of my house for it. It STUNG, but its so worth cutting these type of people out of your life instead of wasting your time and sanity for them.
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Linda
My gas lighter would laugh at me when I called him out on it. Stop gas lighting me, I know what was said.
Gas lighting! Thats not even a thing. Its bull shit made up to make you feel better about your own delusions.
I stopped arguing and started recording our fights. 100% gas lighting.
Filed for divorce today, after 13 years of marriage. Id love advise on how to move forward when you share kids and have a trauma bond that makes you want them in your life for the kids. Is it possible or should we let go?
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My gas lighter would laugh at me when I called him out on it. Stop gas lighting me, I know what was said.
Gas lighting! Thats not even a thing. Its bull shit made up to make you feel better about your own delusions.
I stopped arguing and started recording our fights. 100% gas lighting.
Filed for divorce today, after 13 years of marriage. Id love advise on how to move forward when you share kids and have a trauma bond that makes you want them in your life for the kids. Is it possible or should we let go?
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Robin
My ex used to do this to me all the time. :( I'd mention being bothered by something - ANYTHING - even stuff not related to our relationship, and she'd respond by dismissing it because she considered other stuff to be comparatively worse. I'd express that she hurt me in some way and it'd result in me feeling like I was the problem. She's guilt-trip me all the time, especially when I didn't take her advice on something. I cut all ties with her two weeks ago and have never felt better.
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My ex used to do this to me all the time. :( I'd mention being bothered by something - ANYTHING - even stuff not related to our relationship, and she'd respond by dismissing it because she considered other stuff to be comparatively worse. I'd express that she hurt me in some way and it'd result in me feeling like I was the problem. She's guilt-trip me all the time, especially when I didn't take her advice on something. I cut all ties with her two weeks ago and have never felt better.
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Joseph
Im a semi young adult with high functioning autism. I used to be fine and working as a special needs teacher and a scoutmaster. Until my parents abused me and I imploded. They gaslight me if I speak out or try to get the help I need or confront them on what they are doing. They use 3, 4, 5 and 6 from this video. They have total guardianship over me because instead of helping me to live on my own they took everything from me. I need help
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Im a semi young adult with high functioning autism. I used to be fine and working as a special needs teacher and a scoutmaster. Until my parents abused me and I imploded. They gaslight me if I speak out or try to get the help I need or confront them on what they are doing. They use 3, 4, 5 and 6 from this video. They have total guardianship over me because instead of helping me to live on my own they took everything from me. I need help
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Indrafran
it feels too close to home. my mom is gaslighting me all the time, while she's the one who has issue regulating her emotions. I called her out but she would end up doing something extreme. and my family members would blame me for it. i'm glad i'm currently living far away, the distance at least makes the damage less worse. i'm recuperating myself for many years and try to mother myself during these times.
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it feels too close to home. my mom is gaslighting me all the time, while she's the one who has issue regulating her emotions. I called her out but she would end up doing something extreme. and my family members would blame me for it. i'm glad i'm currently living far away, the distance at least makes the damage less worse. i'm recuperating myself for many years and try to mother myself during these times.
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massomouse
Can someone using a statement like 'it's in the past' when you try to explain how the recollections of something they did/didn't do makes you feel, when you've prefaced to them by highlighting that what your just NOW pointing out to them is because you've had the space to reflect back because you were 'too close' to recognize it in the past be a form of minimization on their part?
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Can someone using a statement like 'it's in the past' when you try to explain how the recollections of something they did/didn't do makes you feel, when you've prefaced to them by highlighting that what your just NOW pointing out to them is because you've had the space to reflect back because you were 'too close' to recognize it in the past be a form of minimization on their part?
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NovaLemon
I have experienced some of these.
Playing the victim, minimising how I feel (the your overreacting, I didnt hurt you that much one) and the threatening to do something one (and I think a few more) were all played out by the same person for me, I dont know how to get him out of my life. Apparently the threat was a joke but he was trying to manipulate me. Thanks for this video!
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I have experienced some of these.
Playing the victim, minimising how I feel (the your overreacting, I didnt hurt you that much one) and the threatening to do something one (and I think a few more) were all played out by the same person for me, I dont know how to get him out of my life. Apparently the threat was a joke but he was trying to manipulate me. Thanks for this video!
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Obey
My ex girlfriend once said these exact words - Do you really think you'll find someone who understands you and your personality as much as I do? You'll never find someone. To me, that was a major indicator of something being up. Keep in mind she didn't really 'get' me like she claimed, far from it.
The amount of rubbish I put up with because I was hoping she changed. never again.
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My ex girlfriend once said these exact words - Do you really think you'll find someone who understands you and your personality as much as I do? You'll never find someone. To me, that was a major indicator of something being up. Keep in mind she didn't really 'get' me like she claimed, far from it.
The amount of rubbish I put up with because I was hoping she changed. never again.
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SonnySama16
The gaslighting I've experienced was victim cards, feigning ignorance, dismissing things, aggression, blame shifting, projecting and twisting facts and stories. It's why I get scared of saying things like do you hear yourself when you talk or are you out of your mind because I've been told that stuff (though I've said those things before when someone was abusive to me.
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The gaslighting I've experienced was victim cards, feigning ignorance, dismissing things, aggression, blame shifting, projecting and twisting facts and stories. It's why I get scared of saying things like do you hear yourself when you talk or are you out of your mind because I've been told that stuff (though I've said those things before when someone was abusive to me.
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Carla
The guy who bullied me for 1-2 years asked me so. what was your problem with me last year. I was so shocked (i was only 13 and unfamiliar with the idea of gaslightning) and I said what I had with you. and he kept telling me that I was being so mean to him for no reason. I started questioning myself and wondering if it's my fault for the bullying. Awful times.
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The guy who bullied me for 1-2 years asked me so. what was your problem with me last year. I was so shocked (i was only 13 and unfamiliar with the idea of gaslightning) and I said what I had with you. and he kept telling me that I was being so mean to him for no reason. I started questioning myself and wondering if it's my fault for the bullying. Awful times.
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tokii
Number 5 hits extremely hard for me, I was with the same girls throughout middle school and high school who would mistreat me, and when I would react and stand up for myself they would twist it onto me, saying that I was being too sensitive or overreacting every time they harassed me. I left the school and am so much happier without them: > enjoyed the video
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Number 5 hits extremely hard for me, I was with the same girls throughout middle school and high school who would mistreat me, and when I would react and stand up for myself they would twist it onto me, saying that I was being too sensitive or overreacting every time they harassed me. I left the school and am so much happier without them: > enjoyed the video
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Phoenixflyer
A subcategory of I'm the only one you can trust is when they make you believe everyone else is against you as well, I had a person gaslight me once by saying that the people I went to for help never believed a single thing I told them and that I was just lying to get my way. That made me question everyone around me and gave me trust issues for years.
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A subcategory of I'm the only one you can trust is when they make you believe everyone else is against you as well, I had a person gaslight me once by saying that the people I went to for help never believed a single thing I told them and that I was just lying to get my way. That made me question everyone around me and gave me trust issues for years.
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