7 Polite Things You Say That Are Actually RUDE
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Date: 2024-05-09
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Comments and reviews: 20
lb. a157
I know it's difficult, but trying see things from their perspective which is usually what Im told when talking about my frustrating experiences as the only neurodivergent and also queer person among the non queer, neurotypical, ableist and classist people I work with, who isolate me, treat me like a child or treat me poorly and in an abusve manner because Im also their secretary, always scolding me and being rude.
You have to understand is not easy dealing with people like you, You have to understand they have it hard too, is not their fault you are special and all stuff in that line. They try to make me the empathetic person when I'm the one being discriminated. With such comments I dont feel like you try to help, but actually trying to put me in my place bellow my partners, that I'm not deserving of respect because I'm defective, that I deserve to be discriminated, that you might also be abusive towards other people like me, hence, why you feel sympathy for the people who treat me poorly and that you don't wan't me to do something about it. Besides, if my co workers have it harder, at least they have each other, while myself I'm on my own as there is nobldy like me at my work. I've tried to quit, but I can't find nother job, I tried reporting my situation and nothing was done. Yep, but hey, they have it harder
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I know it's difficult, but trying see things from their perspective which is usually what Im told when talking about my frustrating experiences as the only neurodivergent and also queer person among the non queer, neurotypical, ableist and classist people I work with, who isolate me, treat me like a child or treat me poorly and in an abusve manner because Im also their secretary, always scolding me and being rude.
You have to understand is not easy dealing with people like you, You have to understand they have it hard too, is not their fault you are special and all stuff in that line. They try to make me the empathetic person when I'm the one being discriminated. With such comments I dont feel like you try to help, but actually trying to put me in my place bellow my partners, that I'm not deserving of respect because I'm defective, that I deserve to be discriminated, that you might also be abusive towards other people like me, hence, why you feel sympathy for the people who treat me poorly and that you don't wan't me to do something about it. Besides, if my co workers have it harder, at least they have each other, while myself I'm on my own as there is nobldy like me at my work. I've tried to quit, but I can't find nother job, I tried reporting my situation and nothing was done. Yep, but hey, they have it harder
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husnaliyana8393
I feel like i'm kinda guilty of something similar to the last one, look at the bright side (toxic positivity)
When the people I cherished confided in me (introvert here, my intention was to motivate them and help them see the positive side of it, cuz i wanted to help them feel better when they were going through a bad time
But it seems like my intention did not translate well into verbalised words, which makes it look like i'm undermining their struggles
It gets to the point where i'm stuck with whether I should say anything at all
People understand silence as ignorance sometimes
But it's not that I don't care
It's just that I don't know how to respond/react/reply to that and I'm afraid that the things that I would say next would make them feel even worse
On another unrelated note, I don't know how to response to apologies from people
Like, it feels weird saying don't do it again, okay and i don't wanna say it's okay when i don't mean it
So, yeah, talking is hard (for me, at least)
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I feel like i'm kinda guilty of something similar to the last one, look at the bright side (toxic positivity)
When the people I cherished confided in me (introvert here, my intention was to motivate them and help them see the positive side of it, cuz i wanted to help them feel better when they were going through a bad time
But it seems like my intention did not translate well into verbalised words, which makes it look like i'm undermining their struggles
It gets to the point where i'm stuck with whether I should say anything at all
People understand silence as ignorance sometimes
But it's not that I don't care
It's just that I don't know how to respond/react/reply to that and I'm afraid that the things that I would say next would make them feel even worse
On another unrelated note, I don't know how to response to apologies from people
Like, it feels weird saying don't do it again, okay and i don't wanna say it's okay when i don't mean it
So, yeah, talking is hard (for me, at least)
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jolenes3122
I agree with every point on here, except the first one. I don't find that telling someone they look tired to be rude or offensive. Maybe it's more a cultural thing from where I was raised, but I find that that statement when it is told to me by someone else, it ALWAYS comes from a place of care and concern for my health and wellbeing, and I NEVER take offense to it. I find that only saying, Is everything okay to someone who appears tired can give them the means to answer with a Yes. Everything's fine. Thanks. Then they can move on, but never really be helped if they are struggling with something, or something is bothering them. This isn't a helpful approach, especially for people who are very shy or private and may not always be inclined to share their struggles/worries with anyone. This allows their struggles (and the effect they have on a person's mental and physical health) to continue. These struggles never get better/improve and can have a big impact on their daily life.
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I agree with every point on here, except the first one. I don't find that telling someone they look tired to be rude or offensive. Maybe it's more a cultural thing from where I was raised, but I find that that statement when it is told to me by someone else, it ALWAYS comes from a place of care and concern for my health and wellbeing, and I NEVER take offense to it. I find that only saying, Is everything okay to someone who appears tired can give them the means to answer with a Yes. Everything's fine. Thanks. Then they can move on, but never really be helped if they are struggling with something, or something is bothering them. This isn't a helpful approach, especially for people who are very shy or private and may not always be inclined to share their struggles/worries with anyone. This allows their struggles (and the effect they have on a person's mental and physical health) to continue. These struggles never get better/improve and can have a big impact on their daily life.
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ruhi_ultimate5468
There's a fun story about the first ' u look tired one ' from my class 11 experience. Don't remember the details but i just thought about socialising a little bit and tried to get into a new environment to stay away from toxicity. I just thought it would be a little easy if i just had anyone to relax with. Don't know what got to me and the first thing in the morning, i went to a girl sitting farthest away from me in class. Just went and said, ' HI! U LOOK TIRED! U OKAYY '. And she ( being a friendly type) just went ' Hi Yea didn't studied for today's test '. Even i didn't expected that reaction. The whole situation was so random, it took me more time to process the situation than her. Same day, we got into same chem practical group ( being non med) coincidentally. Now we are practically good friends i guess!
And practically her therapist.
Anyways I can relax so WHO CARES!
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There's a fun story about the first ' u look tired one ' from my class 11 experience. Don't remember the details but i just thought about socialising a little bit and tried to get into a new environment to stay away from toxicity. I just thought it would be a little easy if i just had anyone to relax with. Don't know what got to me and the first thing in the morning, i went to a girl sitting farthest away from me in class. Just went and said, ' HI! U LOOK TIRED! U OKAYY '. And she ( being a friendly type) just went ' Hi Yea didn't studied for today's test '. Even i didn't expected that reaction. The whole situation was so random, it took me more time to process the situation than her. Same day, we got into same chem practical group ( being non med) coincidentally. Now we are practically good friends i guess!
And practically her therapist.
Anyways I can relax so WHO CARES!
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AvaBrown-uc9uq
Great Video! Below are the key points summarized using ChatWithPDF:
- Telling someone they look tired can be misinterpreted as an insult rather than concern.
- Complimenting weight loss may unintentionally imply they were less attractive before.
- Praising someone's intelligence for their age can undermine their achievements.
- Assuring single friends they'll find someone may unintentionally add pressure.
- Avoid assuming others have an easy life by saying they're lucky without knowing their struggles.
- Instead of a potentially sarcastic response, appreciate different viewpoints respectfully.
- Encouraging someone to look at the bright side may invalidate their struggles.
- Mindful communication is crucial to avoid unintentionally rude remarks and foster genuine connections.
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Great Video! Below are the key points summarized using ChatWithPDF:
- Telling someone they look tired can be misinterpreted as an insult rather than concern.
- Complimenting weight loss may unintentionally imply they were less attractive before.
- Praising someone's intelligence for their age can undermine their achievements.
- Assuring single friends they'll find someone may unintentionally add pressure.
- Avoid assuming others have an easy life by saying they're lucky without knowing their struggles.
- Instead of a potentially sarcastic response, appreciate different viewpoints respectfully.
- Encouraging someone to look at the bright side may invalidate their struggles.
- Mindful communication is crucial to avoid unintentionally rude remarks and foster genuine connections.
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ryanricks318
Attempting to over influence duh meanys much wits dis crowds ood tood n mood as a likeable know itty alls questionable behavioral patterns telling stories o differ sort meh whom am i ta disagree wits y'alls knows all duh better stuff but dunt action reactions inactions alls dat according oop mine baddy rood tood sucha showoff idfk feels like theys gots more learnings whrrrs we ago zounds wot dey dice ood motionings is there an interpreter dat accurate b totally direct wit meh furs crying oot louds n roflol kekw wot moody o mine so off put n aways wits meh n mine loneliness gonna partys witsoot dat awful crowd theys such sourpuss these daze is dat rite wot o ours ception ranky still feels o not mine department wits eq skills issues such terrible territory to treds tysm take cares laters nya sojourneys
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Attempting to over influence duh meanys much wits dis crowds ood tood n mood as a likeable know itty alls questionable behavioral patterns telling stories o differ sort meh whom am i ta disagree wits y'alls knows all duh better stuff but dunt action reactions inactions alls dat according oop mine baddy rood tood sucha showoff idfk feels like theys gots more learnings whrrrs we ago zounds wot dey dice ood motionings is there an interpreter dat accurate b totally direct wit meh furs crying oot louds n roflol kekw wot moody o mine so off put n aways wits meh n mine loneliness gonna partys witsoot dat awful crowd theys such sourpuss these daze is dat rite wot o ours ception ranky still feels o not mine department wits eq skills issues such terrible territory to treds tysm take cares laters nya sojourneys
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pissman6952
Hello psych2go i wanted to come here and express how im feeling and how you can help me i have been feeling depressed by the thought of death and by the thought of my bullies my bullies have been torturing me idk why they do that and i hope they realize one day that it is wrong and its affecting and damaging the mental health of others and by death ive been thinking in bed if there is a afterlife if there is i just hope i would see my mom my grandpa my grandma and everyone else i love because they are just so sweet and i would hope to see them again and i am crying as i type this because by the thought of them dying i am depressed please help me with this issue i just wanna forget the problem of eventual death coming to us every second
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Hello psych2go i wanted to come here and express how im feeling and how you can help me i have been feeling depressed by the thought of death and by the thought of my bullies my bullies have been torturing me idk why they do that and i hope they realize one day that it is wrong and its affecting and damaging the mental health of others and by death ive been thinking in bed if there is a afterlife if there is i just hope i would see my mom my grandpa my grandma and everyone else i love because they are just so sweet and i would hope to see them again and i am crying as i type this because by the thought of them dying i am depressed please help me with this issue i just wanna forget the problem of eventual death coming to us every second
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psych2go
Jeeez I am really rude person. telling people they look tired, because I want them to be at full energy, asking whats wrong when they loose weitght because it may imply health condition. and even if I can't do anything about it. Jeeez I have it all wrong. do I want to learn to say it other way tough Eh propably worth the effort, but man. WOW this one will be long shot. how it was bakhanded. omg this I will be strugle with ALOT. I was always told that others have it worst than me. JEEEEZZZZ oh my god. this is. I mean wow. fuuu ok I hate it and I hate not straitforwardness of it, but if it helps me not to seem like D. to people I care about. oh MAN I already hate it.
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Jeeez I am really rude person. telling people they look tired, because I want them to be at full energy, asking whats wrong when they loose weitght because it may imply health condition. and even if I can't do anything about it. Jeeez I have it all wrong. do I want to learn to say it other way tough Eh propably worth the effort, but man. WOW this one will be long shot. how it was bakhanded. omg this I will be strugle with ALOT. I was always told that others have it worst than me. JEEEEZZZZ oh my god. this is. I mean wow. fuuu ok I hate it and I hate not straitforwardness of it, but if it helps me not to seem like D. to people I care about. oh MAN I already hate it.
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theoaremevano3227
Please - In a professional context.
This is fairly minor, as most people get the basic idea behind people being trained to say 'please', but when you're trained to say that as a reflex, it's easy to miss where it can come across as rude. When I'm at work, I don't want to be asked to 'please' do my job, because it implies that the person being asked (me) has to be pleaded with to fulfill my job requirements and be an honest worker. Someone just making a flat request, on the other hand, makes me feel like I'm seen as dependable; that I can be relied upon to handle a customer's or superior's need with proper work ethic just by being asked once.
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Please - In a professional context.
This is fairly minor, as most people get the basic idea behind people being trained to say 'please', but when you're trained to say that as a reflex, it's easy to miss where it can come across as rude. When I'm at work, I don't want to be asked to 'please' do my job, because it implies that the person being asked (me) has to be pleaded with to fulfill my job requirements and be an honest worker. Someone just making a flat request, on the other hand, makes me feel like I'm seen as dependable; that I can be relied upon to handle a customer's or superior's need with proper work ethic just by being asked once.
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xdrghmkl
I helped an older lady at Family Dollar once when I was a teenager.
She said I could be a model, if I watched my weight.
. Thanks, lady. I guess
It, uh. didn't help that I was buying snacks with a family member at the time, but I don't know if she even noticed the snacks and drinks we were buying when she said that.
Either way, it was like
Great. The doctors and my family aren't telling me that I'm under weight anymore, but now I'm getting called fat.
I was basically told I'm pretty, which is a nice thing to say. but I got told to watch my weight in the exact same sentence, which turned it into a backhanded compliment.
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I helped an older lady at Family Dollar once when I was a teenager.
She said I could be a model, if I watched my weight.
. Thanks, lady. I guess
It, uh. didn't help that I was buying snacks with a family member at the time, but I don't know if she even noticed the snacks and drinks we were buying when she said that.
Either way, it was like
Great. The doctors and my family aren't telling me that I'm under weight anymore, but now I'm getting called fat.
I was basically told I'm pretty, which is a nice thing to say. but I got told to watch my weight in the exact same sentence, which turned it into a backhanded compliment.
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andrewpowers2249
I once heard saying something like that's one way to look at it is dismissing someone else's view, and is showing a lack of empathy, or looking at things their way. That you are basically saying the way I look at things is the right way or at the least the way you're thinking about it is the wrong way. And, to take a moment to look at things from the way they are going about it. Even if you don't wind up agreeing, it at least changes your POV and opens up your mind to more of what could be. I'm not saying I do that as much as I should. but if I think about it consciously, I'll try, or at least ask the person to explain.
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I once heard saying something like that's one way to look at it is dismissing someone else's view, and is showing a lack of empathy, or looking at things their way. That you are basically saying the way I look at things is the right way or at the least the way you're thinking about it is the wrong way. And, to take a moment to look at things from the way they are going about it. Even if you don't wind up agreeing, it at least changes your POV and opens up your mind to more of what could be. I'm not saying I do that as much as I should. but if I think about it consciously, I'll try, or at least ask the person to explain.
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BENZ_ASMR
1. when a person compliments you saying you’re doing a good job/ complimenting someone who is exercising and is a bigger size because think about it you wouldn’t go up to a smaller person and tell them that because you assume their fit, that makes them know that they are noticeably bigger and are being watched which makes them self conscious.
2. When you tell a person who has curly hair that they look better with straight hair
3. Asking What are you because it’s like you dehumanizing the person when you ask it that way
4. Comparing trauma(trying to one up your experience from theirs)
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1. when a person compliments you saying you’re doing a good job/ complimenting someone who is exercising and is a bigger size because think about it you wouldn’t go up to a smaller person and tell them that because you assume their fit, that makes them know that they are noticeably bigger and are being watched which makes them self conscious.
2. When you tell a person who has curly hair that they look better with straight hair
3. Asking What are you because it’s like you dehumanizing the person when you ask it that way
4. Comparing trauma(trying to one up your experience from theirs)
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Mason201410
Am I the only one that thinks that if someone gets upset at these responses that this is a reflection of the other person and not you Maybe other people disagree with me. I don't think I've ever or known of anyone genuinely being upset with these remarks unless that person themselves was either dealing with something internally or wasn't sensitive already to begin with. I might just have gone numb to others personally feels but after awhile dancing around others it can get tiring in it's own right.
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Am I the only one that thinks that if someone gets upset at these responses that this is a reflection of the other person and not you Maybe other people disagree with me. I don't think I've ever or known of anyone genuinely being upset with these remarks unless that person themselves was either dealing with something internally or wasn't sensitive already to begin with. I might just have gone numb to others personally feels but after awhile dancing around others it can get tiring in it's own right.
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psych2go
This actually reminds me of a time at my work place. There was this one customer I had. I'm not sure if he was just having a very off day or what, because after I told him nicely to have a good day, he looked back at me angrily and said, Don't tell me what to do!
I had no idea that would take such an offense to the guy. The intent wasn't to tell him what to do, I was just being nice. So, from then on, every time this customer came in, I was more careful with how I phrased my wording.
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This actually reminds me of a time at my work place. There was this one customer I had. I'm not sure if he was just having a very off day or what, because after I told him nicely to have a good day, he looked back at me angrily and said, Don't tell me what to do!
I had no idea that would take such an offense to the guy. The intent wasn't to tell him what to do, I was just being nice. So, from then on, every time this customer came in, I was more careful with how I phrased my wording.
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meme-bc8tf
4: 34 OKAY, I’d like to add that, SOMETIMES, people are overreacting, so in that case, saying that they should toughen up is the way to go. Even if it hurts their feelings, they may later accept that they were wrong, and become more emotionally stable and secure.
Some people are simply trying to draw attention to themselves. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to look out for them, but be careful. In situations like that, it’s better to let them be.
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4: 34 OKAY, I’d like to add that, SOMETIMES, people are overreacting, so in that case, saying that they should toughen up is the way to go. Even if it hurts their feelings, they may later accept that they were wrong, and become more emotionally stable and secure.
Some people are simply trying to draw attention to themselves. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to look out for them, but be careful. In situations like that, it’s better to let them be.
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hayakhan7367
Well i appreciate and respect the intention this video carried. However we can't deny the fact that someone is always gonna have a problem no matter how hard you try to get things together. besides that, I feel that we can take things better initially, avoiding the chances of being rude. it's all about finding a sweet spot / balance between not being a people pleaser and communicating effectively. hope it helps
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Well i appreciate and respect the intention this video carried. However we can't deny the fact that someone is always gonna have a problem no matter how hard you try to get things together. besides that, I feel that we can take things better initially, avoiding the chances of being rude. it's all about finding a sweet spot / balance between not being a people pleaser and communicating effectively. hope it helps
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. You look tired 0: 26
2. You've lost weight, you look great now 0: 53
3. You're so smart/talented for your age 1: 36
4. Don't worry, you'll find someone 2: 04
5. You're so lucky you don't have to worry about 2: 47
6. Well that's certainly one way to look at it 3: 23
7. Look at the bright side 4: 02
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Timestamps
1. You look tired 0: 26
2. You've lost weight, you look great now 0: 53
3. You're so smart/talented for your age 1: 36
4. Don't worry, you'll find someone 2: 04
5. You're so lucky you don't have to worry about 2: 47
6. Well that's certainly one way to look at it 3: 23
7. Look at the bright side 4: 02
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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siennaprice1351
Another one to never say to someone, especially if they have a disability or mental illness. You don’t look like I’ve been told, you don’t look blind. I’ve also heard of other people telling others, but you don’t look like you have PTSD. You don’t act like you have childhood trauma. And so on, and so forth. You might be complimenting them, but really it’s not a compliment.
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Another one to never say to someone, especially if they have a disability or mental illness. You don’t look like I’ve been told, you don’t look blind. I’ve also heard of other people telling others, but you don’t look like you have PTSD. You don’t act like you have childhood trauma. And so on, and so forth. You might be complimenting them, but really it’s not a compliment.
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MegaManNeo
I will remember the advice regarding look at the bright side.
Heard the you will find someone eventually more times than it'd helped too, so that's a good example for me why I shouldn't say such things.
Like the pressure made me even more unstable than I am anyway with social aspects and especially love.
But the new animation style is fresh to look at, so that's a nice thing: )
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I will remember the advice regarding look at the bright side.
Heard the you will find someone eventually more times than it'd helped too, so that's a good example for me why I shouldn't say such things.
Like the pressure made me even more unstable than I am anyway with social aspects and especially love.
But the new animation style is fresh to look at, so that's a nice thing: )
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TheXavierWolfe
As someone who has recovered from anorexia after 6 years (yet always a struggle, I will say, any compliments, even wow you look good or wow you’re shining etc. would make me proud of my progress of starvation. If you think someone is not losing weight in a healthy way, I would say (from my ED prospective) don’t comment unless it’s raising concern (out of care.
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As someone who has recovered from anorexia after 6 years (yet always a struggle, I will say, any compliments, even wow you look good or wow you’re shining etc. would make me proud of my progress of starvation. If you think someone is not losing weight in a healthy way, I would say (from my ED prospective) don’t comment unless it’s raising concern (out of care.
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