Signs Of Emotional Dysregulation And What To Do About It
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
Silky
While this does explain the massive decline in emotional health compared to previous decades, there are definitely some things that I do not agree with here.
1. People are not all either conflict-avoidant or conflict-seeking. Nothing about the human mind is black-and-white like that. In fact, I find that most people are somewhere in between. A truly conflict avoidant person despises conflict to the point that even things like competing in a board game does not appeal to them. They will engage in conflict only when absolutely necessary. My mother is this way. On the opposite side of the coin, people who truly seek conflict, like my dad, will instinctively contradict others and switch sides in an argument, just to keep the argument going. My sister, a special education teacher, says that this is very common among people with Aspergers Syndrome. More toward the middle of the spectrum on conflict seeking/avoidance are two types: the go-getters and the go-with-the-flow types. The first group consists of people who are highly competitive. They dont shy away from conflict, but they dont necessarily enjoy it either. The second group is able to compete for fun, but tends to shy away away from other types of conflict when they can. I am more of the first type, but my best friend is the second.
2. Being dramatic does not mean you are attention-seeking, nor does it mean that you lack the ability to regulate your emotions. SOME of us just have very lively personalities and cannot help but be a bit dramatic at times. If emotions are a form of energy, then ours cannot help but burst out. Thats not to say we cant control our outburstswe learn how to clamp down on our more negative emotions to prevent them from running amokbut it does mean that ALL of our emotions are very big. So when were happy, EVERYONE knows it. Its not that we have ADHD (for many of us, our attention spans are perfectly fine, but we do have a lot of energy, and we dont often bother to contain that which doesnt cause any harm. Incidentally, for people like myself whose lively nature means that our emotions are very big, being able to clamp down and contain our reactions temporarily doesnt mean we can get away with not releasing them later on. We have to take time to unleash that energy in a safe environmentwhether its crying and screaming into a pillow or beating the mattress with our fists, thats part of how we process and work through our feelings. Just because it doesnt LOOK like emotional regulation from the more mellow persons perspective doesnt mean that isnt what it is.
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While this does explain the massive decline in emotional health compared to previous decades, there are definitely some things that I do not agree with here.
1. People are not all either conflict-avoidant or conflict-seeking. Nothing about the human mind is black-and-white like that. In fact, I find that most people are somewhere in between. A truly conflict avoidant person despises conflict to the point that even things like competing in a board game does not appeal to them. They will engage in conflict only when absolutely necessary. My mother is this way. On the opposite side of the coin, people who truly seek conflict, like my dad, will instinctively contradict others and switch sides in an argument, just to keep the argument going. My sister, a special education teacher, says that this is very common among people with Aspergers Syndrome. More toward the middle of the spectrum on conflict seeking/avoidance are two types: the go-getters and the go-with-the-flow types. The first group consists of people who are highly competitive. They dont shy away from conflict, but they dont necessarily enjoy it either. The second group is able to compete for fun, but tends to shy away away from other types of conflict when they can. I am more of the first type, but my best friend is the second.
2. Being dramatic does not mean you are attention-seeking, nor does it mean that you lack the ability to regulate your emotions. SOME of us just have very lively personalities and cannot help but be a bit dramatic at times. If emotions are a form of energy, then ours cannot help but burst out. Thats not to say we cant control our outburstswe learn how to clamp down on our more negative emotions to prevent them from running amokbut it does mean that ALL of our emotions are very big. So when were happy, EVERYONE knows it. Its not that we have ADHD (for many of us, our attention spans are perfectly fine, but we do have a lot of energy, and we dont often bother to contain that which doesnt cause any harm. Incidentally, for people like myself whose lively nature means that our emotions are very big, being able to clamp down and contain our reactions temporarily doesnt mean we can get away with not releasing them later on. We have to take time to unleash that energy in a safe environmentwhether its crying and screaming into a pillow or beating the mattress with our fists, thats part of how we process and work through our feelings. Just because it doesnt LOOK like emotional regulation from the more mellow persons perspective doesnt mean that isnt what it is.
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lorelai
Im not really someone with ADHD, autism or anything like that and I also dont like self diagnosing myself
with anything at all. However I know most of my life I wasnt able to regulate my emotions most times and as I grew older my parents would be sad how I didnt react to when they did something nice for me. Its not that I didnt appreciate it but I didnt know how I was supposed to react. Other times even at the tiniest things I would start throwing a tantrum and start screaming throwing pillows. I guess Im not really good at acting for the least of it I really do want to be able to control my feelings and have normal reactions to things at the right times. I guess its better then the past since I would sometimes randomly start getting angry and start scratching myself. This is just me rambling since I know nobody will most likely read this, I did enjoy writing my true thoughts tho
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Im not really someone with ADHD, autism or anything like that and I also dont like self diagnosing myself
with anything at all. However I know most of my life I wasnt able to regulate my emotions most times and as I grew older my parents would be sad how I didnt react to when they did something nice for me. Its not that I didnt appreciate it but I didnt know how I was supposed to react. Other times even at the tiniest things I would start throwing a tantrum and start screaming throwing pillows. I guess Im not really good at acting for the least of it I really do want to be able to control my feelings and have normal reactions to things at the right times. I guess its better then the past since I would sometimes randomly start getting angry and start scratching myself. This is just me rambling since I know nobody will most likely read this, I did enjoy writing my true thoughts tho
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Leah
I watched this video because my current job is in jeopardy and my boss says it's because I have trouble with emotional regulation. I'm autistic and I had a much harder time controlling my emotions as a kid, reacting very loudly to mean or unpredictable things when other people thought it wasn't called for. I'd like to think I'm better at handling these things now, but apparently it's not good enough for the office, so at this point I don't know what to do. All my life people have been telling me to think before I react, but that's way easier said than done. My thoughts and plans for the day are like a house, a safe place that I built, and the mean or unpredictable things other people do are like someone setting the house on fire or crashing a car through the window. That's not something you just react calmly to. Any advice?
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I watched this video because my current job is in jeopardy and my boss says it's because I have trouble with emotional regulation. I'm autistic and I had a much harder time controlling my emotions as a kid, reacting very loudly to mean or unpredictable things when other people thought it wasn't called for. I'd like to think I'm better at handling these things now, but apparently it's not good enough for the office, so at this point I don't know what to do. All my life people have been telling me to think before I react, but that's way easier said than done. My thoughts and plans for the day are like a house, a safe place that I built, and the mean or unpredictable things other people do are like someone setting the house on fire or crashing a car through the window. That's not something you just react calmly to. Any advice?
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Guy
Video and information is good however I dont agree with this information entirely as its only half of a perspective. It is only a one sided perspective. This information is indeed helpful but to make it seem as if it is a end all be all diagnosis and to scientifically label a particular group of people is only half accurate. Like the video says there are 2 types of people those who avoid confrontation and those who thrive on stirring the pot. So people who avoid confrontation, Wheres the video on them, because avoiding confrontation is also problematic? I cannot agree with this video whole heartedly, So which of the two types is playing devils advocate? This would make more sense if all people were in-fact perfect but nobody is perfect, so how is this information even accurate?
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Video and information is good however I dont agree with this information entirely as its only half of a perspective. It is only a one sided perspective. This information is indeed helpful but to make it seem as if it is a end all be all diagnosis and to scientifically label a particular group of people is only half accurate. Like the video says there are 2 types of people those who avoid confrontation and those who thrive on stirring the pot. So people who avoid confrontation, Wheres the video on them, because avoiding confrontation is also problematic? I cannot agree with this video whole heartedly, So which of the two types is playing devils advocate? This would make more sense if all people were in-fact perfect but nobody is perfect, so how is this information even accurate?
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Natalie
Why does that music sound like people who are emotionally dysregulated sound evil. Thats not true. And what do you mean people who avoid confrontation and people who thrive off of confrontation. I am a very outspoken person. I do have BPD, but im only confrontational if someone hurt my feelings its not an malicious intent or to stir up the the pot, and even if im in the wrong its coming from a place of trauma or fear. This video really rubbed me the wrong way. And the people who avoid confrontation are usually the people who are fake and cant deal with problems in a healthy manner. So they either talk crap behind your back or completely ghost you with out taking accountability or explaining themselves.
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Why does that music sound like people who are emotionally dysregulated sound evil. Thats not true. And what do you mean people who avoid confrontation and people who thrive off of confrontation. I am a very outspoken person. I do have BPD, but im only confrontational if someone hurt my feelings its not an malicious intent or to stir up the the pot, and even if im in the wrong its coming from a place of trauma or fear. This video really rubbed me the wrong way. And the people who avoid confrontation are usually the people who are fake and cant deal with problems in a healthy manner. So they either talk crap behind your back or completely ghost you with out taking accountability or explaining themselves.
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JetPhox
You know, I really wanted to like this. I really tried. But I could only get through three minutes of it because the Will Smith thing is an absolutely terrible example. Did you really have to pick that one? Man gets mad at his wife being made fun of, yeah, that's totally the same thing as having borderline personality disorder or trauma. And then you go ahead and connect that somehow to people dramatically leaving forums, as if this behavior is on the rise today. Our society has been deeply traumatized and retraumatized over the course of several decades. This is not new behavior or a new trend. It is the result of mass untreated trauma and Will Smith is not a good example of it.
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You know, I really wanted to like this. I really tried. But I could only get through three minutes of it because the Will Smith thing is an absolutely terrible example. Did you really have to pick that one? Man gets mad at his wife being made fun of, yeah, that's totally the same thing as having borderline personality disorder or trauma. And then you go ahead and connect that somehow to people dramatically leaving forums, as if this behavior is on the rise today. Our society has been deeply traumatized and retraumatized over the course of several decades. This is not new behavior or a new trend. It is the result of mass untreated trauma and Will Smith is not a good example of it.
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Princess
Ive seen a lot of roleplaying shenanigans in MMOs that I used to play where something doesnt go someones way, so they just die, by suicide or whatever ailment is happening to them. To make matters worse, if I do give them the attention they seek, theyre too stubborn to accept my healings of any kind I know, magic or no magic. Sometimes I suspect that they may even want me to do CPR when they actually want to kiss my avatar, like a pervert or at least that one kid in The Sandlot.
All that did was make it harder for me to roleplay nowadays, and make my own characters lost confidence and trust in helping other players because they dont play nice AT ALL
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Ive seen a lot of roleplaying shenanigans in MMOs that I used to play where something doesnt go someones way, so they just die, by suicide or whatever ailment is happening to them. To make matters worse, if I do give them the attention they seek, theyre too stubborn to accept my healings of any kind I know, magic or no magic. Sometimes I suspect that they may even want me to do CPR when they actually want to kiss my avatar, like a pervert or at least that one kid in The Sandlot.
All that did was make it harder for me to roleplay nowadays, and make my own characters lost confidence and trust in helping other players because they dont play nice AT ALL
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Martuccia
I cant continue to watch this. You said will smith punched Chris rock. Thats a lie. And it matters. He slapped him. Had he punched him Chris would have needed reconstructive surgery.
Also. As a cosmetologist of twenty five years. And someone who watched Chris rocks documentary good hair.
Chris rock should have known better than to bully someone with alopecia. If were going to talk about the slap then how about talking about Chris rocks lack of control when it came to bullying someone elses wife who has a disability. An auto immune disorder.
But you all like to forget that. And you should ask yourselves why you choose to forget that.
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I cant continue to watch this. You said will smith punched Chris rock. Thats a lie. And it matters. He slapped him. Had he punched him Chris would have needed reconstructive surgery.
Also. As a cosmetologist of twenty five years. And someone who watched Chris rocks documentary good hair.
Chris rock should have known better than to bully someone with alopecia. If were going to talk about the slap then how about talking about Chris rocks lack of control when it came to bullying someone elses wife who has a disability. An auto immune disorder.
But you all like to forget that. And you should ask yourselves why you choose to forget that.
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Nick
Activities you should follow to keep away from impulsivity.
1. Take a time gap before taking any wierd decision.
2. Write down the tentative consequences.
3. Talk to someone to hold you accountable.
4. Have a power nap.
5. Stroll in nature and have a sceneric view.
6. Jot down your goals.
7. Excercise and push your limits harder.
8. Organise your calendar.
9. Listen to soft music for soothing effect.
10. Do not hurt or injure your body or consume any pills which would prove lethal.
All these have helped me lower my impulsivity and hope so will relieve you too.
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Activities you should follow to keep away from impulsivity.
1. Take a time gap before taking any wierd decision.
2. Write down the tentative consequences.
3. Talk to someone to hold you accountable.
4. Have a power nap.
5. Stroll in nature and have a sceneric view.
6. Jot down your goals.
7. Excercise and push your limits harder.
8. Organise your calendar.
9. Listen to soft music for soothing effect.
10. Do not hurt or injure your body or consume any pills which would prove lethal.
All these have helped me lower my impulsivity and hope so will relieve you too.
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Novi
Unpredictable outbreaks defined my childhood. I have adhd and autism, and I was diagnosed in 2nd grade.
I would constantly become angry and unpredictable. I wasnt able to control myself, and after I would do things in the moment I would feel AWFUL. It led to self harm and even an attempt in second grade. My meds are a blessing and I definitely am way more regulated than before. Even so I need to be aware of that side of me so I can remove myself from situations and prevent impulsive actions! It is a part of who I am and I cant erase that. But Im still going to be my best.
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Unpredictable outbreaks defined my childhood. I have adhd and autism, and I was diagnosed in 2nd grade.
I would constantly become angry and unpredictable. I wasnt able to control myself, and after I would do things in the moment I would feel AWFUL. It led to self harm and even an attempt in second grade. My meds are a blessing and I definitely am way more regulated than before. Even so I need to be aware of that side of me so I can remove myself from situations and prevent impulsive actions! It is a part of who I am and I cant erase that. But Im still going to be my best.
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Ben
As usual, an amazing video expect I found this one a bit uncomfortable.
To start with, the Will Smith example, I really don't think it is an appropriate example of such as it seems to me that he wasn't doing a wrong thing, at least at that moment.
Secondly, what is a normal way to react with? The massage I get from the video is, don't let your emotion out and when you let it out, you are the bad guy.
I can't help but getting a massage in this video is telling us to suppress our emotion which I myself don't find positive.
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As usual, an amazing video expect I found this one a bit uncomfortable.
To start with, the Will Smith example, I really don't think it is an appropriate example of such as it seems to me that he wasn't doing a wrong thing, at least at that moment.
Secondly, what is a normal way to react with? The massage I get from the video is, don't let your emotion out and when you let it out, you are the bad guy.
I can't help but getting a massage in this video is telling us to suppress our emotion which I myself don't find positive.
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Poddle
I can't say I have emotional dysregulation but whenever I am interacting with my parents I am so impulsive. I don't remember when I talked nicely with them. With other people I behave nicely. I really feel guilty for behaving with my parents like that. They are nice. But no matter how hard I try to control myself. I will behave rudely with them. The reasons could be that I hold grudges towards them. Or something like that or maybe it's just has become my habit? I really suffer intense guilt for doing this. I hope I could change.
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I can't say I have emotional dysregulation but whenever I am interacting with my parents I am so impulsive. I don't remember when I talked nicely with them. With other people I behave nicely. I really feel guilty for behaving with my parents like that. They are nice. But no matter how hard I try to control myself. I will behave rudely with them. The reasons could be that I hold grudges towards them. Or something like that or maybe it's just has become my habit? I really suffer intense guilt for doing this. I hope I could change.
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Vinicius
I have experienced this firsthand, I can't control my anger, and it ruins my social life for years by now
It's very hard to deal with it because you can become an easy target to bullying and other stuff
I lost all of my friends last year because I called people out on a very aggressive way for some reason and because of my reaction, they just didn't want to be my friend anymore
Now I sit alone in the corner every day, because of this angry impulse
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I have experienced this firsthand, I can't control my anger, and it ruins my social life for years by now
It's very hard to deal with it because you can become an easy target to bullying and other stuff
I lost all of my friends last year because I called people out on a very aggressive way for some reason and because of my reaction, they just didn't want to be my friend anymore
Now I sit alone in the corner every day, because of this angry impulse
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Justin
This is the ego. The ego is always looking for problems to solve. When it doesn't have enough problems it looks or even starts drama. I project my frustrations about the injustice in the world when I am not focused on my own problems I look at the worlds problems like I have some savior complex. My anger outbursts is usually impulsive from overwhelming frustration. Or I will have some sort of unresolved conflict that I am dealing with and projecting.
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This is the ego. The ego is always looking for problems to solve. When it doesn't have enough problems it looks or even starts drama. I project my frustrations about the injustice in the world when I am not focused on my own problems I look at the worlds problems like I have some savior complex. My anger outbursts is usually impulsive from overwhelming frustration. Or I will have some sort of unresolved conflict that I am dealing with and projecting.
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Lufty
Just had an emotional breakdown last night, noticing a lot of parallels between what I went through and what is discussed in this video. Thats when I started to recognize all the times I was having trouble regulating my emotions over the years.
If anything, Im realizing I need to seek professional help at this point. Been without a job and recently lost access to health insurance, so I frankly dont know what to do at this point.
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Just had an emotional breakdown last night, noticing a lot of parallels between what I went through and what is discussed in this video. Thats when I started to recognize all the times I was having trouble regulating my emotions over the years.
If anything, Im realizing I need to seek professional help at this point. Been without a job and recently lost access to health insurance, so I frankly dont know what to do at this point.
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YukiTaboo
To be honest with you psych2go thats happened to me twice in college I get the emotions to the best of me and storm out the classroom at any moment and it does attend to stress me out but Im trying to learn myself to be positive which I learned from a teacher assistant which again Im trying to be happy as I can and be nice to others to get myself a gold heart but I feel like I need to work harder for it
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To be honest with you psych2go thats happened to me twice in college I get the emotions to the best of me and storm out the classroom at any moment and it does attend to stress me out but Im trying to learn myself to be positive which I learned from a teacher assistant which again Im trying to be happy as I can and be nice to others to get myself a gold heart but I feel like I need to work harder for it
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tylerl
Wow. The content and writing quality of this video is kinda amazing. You put a lot of effort into making this one, and it shows. You've managed to capture and present a level of insight that goes beyond just the research, beyond just the information. You've helped your audience make connections that are not obvious and see patterns that can change lives. Congratulations on some excellent work.
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Wow. The content and writing quality of this video is kinda amazing. You put a lot of effort into making this one, and it shows. You've managed to capture and present a level of insight that goes beyond just the research, beyond just the information. You've helped your audience make connections that are not obvious and see patterns that can change lives. Congratulations on some excellent work.
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Shiruki
the clicking sound added as sound effects are way too loud. the narration volume VS sound effects volume is too much. Also, im not sure if this is just me but this video did not explain well enough how to actually help emotional dysregulation. I found myself more than twice during this video saying Ok, but how? or that didnt explain shit or but how am i supposed to do that?
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the clicking sound added as sound effects are way too loud. the narration volume VS sound effects volume is too much. Also, im not sure if this is just me but this video did not explain well enough how to actually help emotional dysregulation. I found myself more than twice during this video saying Ok, but how? or that didnt explain shit or but how am i supposed to do that?
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Nickr
It's hard for me when people sound iratated then boom I vocally reacted (I'm thinking of getting a mental health evaluation) I'm kind of like that guy at the beginning of the video that is like hey what's up then they get upset then I question my self thinking it's my fault then they get more upset and they get frustrated then I vocally react and basically have a breakdown.
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It's hard for me when people sound iratated then boom I vocally reacted (I'm thinking of getting a mental health evaluation) I'm kind of like that guy at the beginning of the video that is like hey what's up then they get upset then I question my self thinking it's my fault then they get more upset and they get frustrated then I vocally react and basically have a breakdown.
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EChillyKahlil
The music in this one set a rather. It set a mood. Like walking in the dark while angry. I always feel guilty walking away and slamming the door, but I also feel super empty walking away silently. I'm pretty impulsive tho, but it's a cycle I think. It gets better each time the good comes around, and less bad and severe every fall. It's management basically.
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The music in this one set a rather. It set a mood. Like walking in the dark while angry. I always feel guilty walking away and slamming the door, but I also feel super empty walking away silently. I'm pretty impulsive tho, but it's a cycle I think. It gets better each time the good comes around, and less bad and severe every fall. It's management basically.
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Terrible
when i heard that not being able to control my emotions was ADHD, it relieved me a little. I have ADHD, I tend to have outburts of different emotions every once in a while. Most of time, i end up in troubke for it. I've always tried to explain to people that i try not to do it but it just happens sometimes, nobody believes me. ADHD is so hard.
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when i heard that not being able to control my emotions was ADHD, it relieved me a little. I have ADHD, I tend to have outburts of different emotions every once in a while. Most of time, i end up in troubke for it. I've always tried to explain to people that i try not to do it but it just happens sometimes, nobody believes me. ADHD is so hard.
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Amy
I used to have ADHD as a kid, and then I was re-diagnosed later in life with just ADD. My emotions as a child didn't show themselves as much a problem except for maybe one or two tantrums, but now that I've seen this video, part of me wonders if my ADD still proves to be hyperactive when it comes to my emotions. it would explain a lot of things.
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I used to have ADHD as a kid, and then I was re-diagnosed later in life with just ADD. My emotions as a child didn't show themselves as much a problem except for maybe one or two tantrums, but now that I've seen this video, part of me wonders if my ADD still proves to be hyperactive when it comes to my emotions. it would explain a lot of things.
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Daniel
I appreciate these tips
I have realized for a bit of time now that I personalize internally often when confronted with uncomfortable realities with others, it's caused me to look at mole hills as ginormous mountains and only to get reeled back in by someone else or by my therapist which I'm grateful to have such a awesome therapist!
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I appreciate these tips
I have realized for a bit of time now that I personalize internally often when confronted with uncomfortable realities with others, it's caused me to look at mole hills as ginormous mountains and only to get reeled back in by someone else or by my therapist which I'm grateful to have such a awesome therapist!
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Tickle
Woah. I seriously needed this. I've had this issue my entire life, and recently was told I might have ADHD. I wasn't going to get tested for it, but now I'm confused and wondering if I should. Maybe getting diagnosed could help me with this aspect of it?
Thank you so much for covering this topic. I appreciate it greatly!
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Woah. I seriously needed this. I've had this issue my entire life, and recently was told I might have ADHD. I wasn't going to get tested for it, but now I'm confused and wondering if I should. Maybe getting diagnosed could help me with this aspect of it?
Thank you so much for covering this topic. I appreciate it greatly!
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Malevolent
that first part my friend put his hand around my neck, and I got surprised and bodied him to the ground and put him in a head lock instantly I didn't know why I did it but after this video I somewhat understood why I attack anyone that surprises me, it's happened a lot of times with a lot of people.
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that first part my friend put his hand around my neck, and I got surprised and bodied him to the ground and put him in a head lock instantly I didn't know why I did it but after this video I somewhat understood why I attack anyone that surprises me, it's happened a lot of times with a lot of people.
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