Why Your Brain Avoids Hard Things (And How to Flip the Switch)
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Date: 2026-01-23
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Comments and reviews: 20
psych2go
This is a vent. Don't read it if you don't feel like it. Don't nag to me about venting when I warned you tho.
The reason why I never listen to this kind of videos is because I know for a fact they're lying. You aren't lazy, you aren't weak, you're strong enough for simply opening a notebook! I'm so damn sure everyone actually looks down on small steps like that. There's no way you don't think that's weak. People who deny it are most likely sugar coating and lying to themselves. I'm not gonna do the hard things cause what's the point when I know I'm gonna fail There's no one more useless than I am. At the past I was thinking of giving up (iykyk) but I decided I should give myself a goal before leaving. If I had already given up I didn't have to be afraid of failure. I found a perk in my situation and gave studies my all because I wanted to become a psychologist. I never studied before and then suddenly I studied every day, everywhere. Even when I was returning from school to home I was studying as I was walking. I tried my best because that was my last shot, if I succeeded maybe there would be hope in my life. And guess what I failed so bad it was like I never even studied. Absolutely nothing paid off. Years have passed since then and i spend my days doing nothing, trying for nothing and just hating myself. And all those videos are like teach your brain to do hard stuff! If I fail at one more thing my brain's gonna tell me to kms, that's what's gonna happen. The scariest part of doing hard things isn't labour it's the self loathing I'm gonna give myself if I don't do it right. And I hate it when people think I'm lazy because if I knew that I can actually achieve sth, I swear id work all day. I've done it before. One more mistake and I'm afraid the damage is gonna be unrepairable. So when I avoid the hard things my brain is actually protecting me from feeling su! c! dal again. And therapists are just making things worse, I don't think I've even fully healed from my previous experiences with them. I'll go again but yeah. there's a high chance it's gonna ruin me again.
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This is a vent. Don't read it if you don't feel like it. Don't nag to me about venting when I warned you tho.
The reason why I never listen to this kind of videos is because I know for a fact they're lying. You aren't lazy, you aren't weak, you're strong enough for simply opening a notebook! I'm so damn sure everyone actually looks down on small steps like that. There's no way you don't think that's weak. People who deny it are most likely sugar coating and lying to themselves. I'm not gonna do the hard things cause what's the point when I know I'm gonna fail There's no one more useless than I am. At the past I was thinking of giving up (iykyk) but I decided I should give myself a goal before leaving. If I had already given up I didn't have to be afraid of failure. I found a perk in my situation and gave studies my all because I wanted to become a psychologist. I never studied before and then suddenly I studied every day, everywhere. Even when I was returning from school to home I was studying as I was walking. I tried my best because that was my last shot, if I succeeded maybe there would be hope in my life. And guess what I failed so bad it was like I never even studied. Absolutely nothing paid off. Years have passed since then and i spend my days doing nothing, trying for nothing and just hating myself. And all those videos are like teach your brain to do hard stuff! If I fail at one more thing my brain's gonna tell me to kms, that's what's gonna happen. The scariest part of doing hard things isn't labour it's the self loathing I'm gonna give myself if I don't do it right. And I hate it when people think I'm lazy because if I knew that I can actually achieve sth, I swear id work all day. I've done it before. One more mistake and I'm afraid the damage is gonna be unrepairable. So when I avoid the hard things my brain is actually protecting me from feeling su! c! dal again. And therapists are just making things worse, I don't think I've even fully healed from my previous experiences with them. I'll go again but yeah. there's a high chance it's gonna ruin me again.
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ShouRBX
I have my knacks in academics, but it's just that it usually feels like I get more the stress rather than the reward. I kind of laid my academic achiever persona off because of my deteriorating mental health.
But one thing I've been doing that takes a lot of effort is practicing dancing. I have HIGH PASSION for dancing, unlike academics. It's physically very tiring, but it feels more satisfying and rewarding comapred to academics. Maybe one key factor is my passion for it. Dancing has helped me destress and build confidence, alongside of training my physical health.
My grades might've been a lot lower compared to when I was still an academic achiever, but I feel more satisfied on what I do now that what I did before.
I'm trying to see if my passion for academics will return, because depression definitely played a role for me to get demotivated and avoid academics. I do do things that are academically-related when I'm abysmally bored. There was one time that I got so bored in our class that I asked my classmate if she had some Biology class assignments that she haven't answered becaused I was dying from boredom. I basically answered like 3 of our Biology assignments and an extra Physics one because I was just bored
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I have my knacks in academics, but it's just that it usually feels like I get more the stress rather than the reward. I kind of laid my academic achiever persona off because of my deteriorating mental health.
But one thing I've been doing that takes a lot of effort is practicing dancing. I have HIGH PASSION for dancing, unlike academics. It's physically very tiring, but it feels more satisfying and rewarding comapred to academics. Maybe one key factor is my passion for it. Dancing has helped me destress and build confidence, alongside of training my physical health.
My grades might've been a lot lower compared to when I was still an academic achiever, but I feel more satisfied on what I do now that what I did before.
I'm trying to see if my passion for academics will return, because depression definitely played a role for me to get demotivated and avoid academics. I do do things that are academically-related when I'm abysmally bored. There was one time that I got so bored in our class that I asked my classmate if she had some Biology class assignments that she haven't answered becaused I was dying from boredom. I basically answered like 3 of our Biology assignments and an extra Physics one because I was just bored
reply
theoaremevano3227
This is really useful, and it leads exactly to why I feel like I need help with self-validation.
The number one thing that affects the desire for challenge is when I run into problems with outside sources of evaluation undermining my personal validation meter, like thinking that felt like improvement only to get a bad-looking grade, or to see someone else breeze past my personal best. Things like this swipe the trophy from the pedestal I've yet to reach, and leave my brain lacking that positive feedback for showing up and moving forward.
I can't help but see things on a macro scale most of the time, and I find it really hard not to evaluate things I may want to accomplish using that scope, which leads to me seeing small steps as zero progress because they're being compared to a larger time/success scale. Even when I REALLY want to ignore outside evaluations, I often can't convince myself. It's like trying to convince my brain that splashing in a kiddie pool is progress compared to competitive lap swimming. I can't ignore that said feeble splashing = This is impressive for ME and the negative implications of that.
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This is really useful, and it leads exactly to why I feel like I need help with self-validation.
The number one thing that affects the desire for challenge is when I run into problems with outside sources of evaluation undermining my personal validation meter, like thinking that felt like improvement only to get a bad-looking grade, or to see someone else breeze past my personal best. Things like this swipe the trophy from the pedestal I've yet to reach, and leave my brain lacking that positive feedback for showing up and moving forward.
I can't help but see things on a macro scale most of the time, and I find it really hard not to evaluate things I may want to accomplish using that scope, which leads to me seeing small steps as zero progress because they're being compared to a larger time/success scale. Even when I REALLY want to ignore outside evaluations, I often can't convince myself. It's like trying to convince my brain that splashing in a kiddie pool is progress compared to competitive lap swimming. I can't ignore that said feeble splashing = This is impressive for ME and the negative implications of that.
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Ducky_1246
Earlier today I was talking on the phone with my mom about how I’m always really productive in the morning, but in the afternoon I lose all motivation and struggle to get anything done. She said she struggles with the same thing, and something that helps is to lay down for 30 minutes without going on your phone or doing anything mentally stimulating (set a timer in case you fall asleep. Just relax and let your brain go wherever it needs to go. Then when the time is up, it’s like you’ve had a reset and you’ll be ready to start your day again, and have much better motivation. So after we were done talking, I tried it out. It totally worked! I even did my usual morning stretches after getting up, to really simulate morning haha. Highly recommend if you struggle with the same thing!
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Earlier today I was talking on the phone with my mom about how I’m always really productive in the morning, but in the afternoon I lose all motivation and struggle to get anything done. She said she struggles with the same thing, and something that helps is to lay down for 30 minutes without going on your phone or doing anything mentally stimulating (set a timer in case you fall asleep. Just relax and let your brain go wherever it needs to go. Then when the time is up, it’s like you’ve had a reset and you’ll be ready to start your day again, and have much better motivation. So after we were done talking, I tried it out. It totally worked! I even did my usual morning stretches after getting up, to really simulate morning haha. Highly recommend if you struggle with the same thing!
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Alak110
Sorry for getting out og the topic but
has anyone tried ashwaganda
I have cptsd
and I swear i’ve experienced every bad emotion in this world crazy attacks and even dissociations
and these days I’m not able to sleep at night because of my anxiety no one knows that i have cptsd and I’m hiding every thing I’m all alone and I really want someone to know how i feel so please it’s not necessary for you to have cptsd but if you’re struggling and you found peace in ashawagnda please tell me.
I’m taking ashwaganda and this is the second day of me being capable to sleep
that’s why I could take my phone up and talk to you
but I really wanna know tha it’s not going to make me worse over time
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Sorry for getting out og the topic but
has anyone tried ashwaganda
I have cptsd
and I swear i’ve experienced every bad emotion in this world crazy attacks and even dissociations
and these days I’m not able to sleep at night because of my anxiety no one knows that i have cptsd and I’m hiding every thing I’m all alone and I really want someone to know how i feel so please it’s not necessary for you to have cptsd but if you’re struggling and you found peace in ashawagnda please tell me.
I’m taking ashwaganda and this is the second day of me being capable to sleep
that’s why I could take my phone up and talk to you
but I really wanna know tha it’s not going to make me worse over time
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tatyana6063
The only problems with me studying are that I get distracted. And it depends on what I'm studying. Like I don't always understand. And I usually do. The more similar issue with this is that I get problems more socially and sensory, not just learning too. Even though I'm not dumb and smart book wise. I don't like dealing with hard things like certain noises and work weekends. And this is all due to slight Aspergers and Misophonia that I just got a few months ago in Sep. 2025 last year shortly. But they're not excuses, that doesn't mean that I can't deal with them. Whether they're hard or not.
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The only problems with me studying are that I get distracted. And it depends on what I'm studying. Like I don't always understand. And I usually do. The more similar issue with this is that I get problems more socially and sensory, not just learning too. Even though I'm not dumb and smart book wise. I don't like dealing with hard things like certain noises and work weekends. And this is all due to slight Aspergers and Misophonia that I just got a few months ago in Sep. 2025 last year shortly. But they're not excuses, that doesn't mean that I can't deal with them. Whether they're hard or not.
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thewarriorcat
Everything I try to study i swear I can literally feel my motivation disappear. Like even if I'm thinking about it I just get this dark feeling and lose my will to study in a second. I've Ben trying to break out of this but it's actually hard to do something you really just don't want to do. I even struggle to pay attention in class for long periods without daydreaming and missing key information which is honestly annoying. Definitely gonna try to do better and aiming for at least 3rd in my class this year
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Everything I try to study i swear I can literally feel my motivation disappear. Like even if I'm thinking about it I just get this dark feeling and lose my will to study in a second. I've Ben trying to break out of this but it's actually hard to do something you really just don't want to do. I even struggle to pay attention in class for long periods without daydreaming and missing key information which is honestly annoying. Definitely gonna try to do better and aiming for at least 3rd in my class this year
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GreatestMe-c8j
im sorry my comments have been a little dark latelyI'm sorry to anyone i gave bad advice to, i only wanted to help, i didn't know it was coming from a person who is incapable of seeing truth, i told people that i know from my experience it will all be ok and it will get better and shared what helped me, but im not ok, i don't really know if it will get better, and what i do to cope is not enough to make it, i'll be posting less from now on
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im sorry my comments have been a little dark latelyI'm sorry to anyone i gave bad advice to, i only wanted to help, i didn't know it was coming from a person who is incapable of seeing truth, i told people that i know from my experience it will all be ok and it will get better and shared what helped me, but im not ok, i don't really know if it will get better, and what i do to cope is not enough to make it, i'll be posting less from now on
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A55a551n
Timestamps
1. Your brain isn't lazy - it's efficient 0: 52
2. Why motivation doesn't come first 1: 26
3. Why are hard things feel bigger than they are 2: 08
4. How the brain learns to want effort 2: 46
5. Identity is what makes the shift stick 3: 28
6. Why emotional safety changes everything 4: 03
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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Timestamps
1. Your brain isn't lazy - it's efficient 0: 52
2. Why motivation doesn't come first 1: 26
3. Why are hard things feel bigger than they are 2: 08
4. How the brain learns to want effort 2: 46
5. Identity is what makes the shift stick 3: 28
6. Why emotional safety changes everything 4: 03
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late.
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dymondstaton3543
I tried what you said it didn't work we got into a fight today and i got slapped a lot now im a puppet to her if i don't brush my hair hit if i say no about something even though im not trying to be mean i just want to rest hit if i do anything wrong i get hit i called talked to people they didn't care or listen but you're a nice person psycho2go you're voice is calming
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I tried what you said it didn't work we got into a fight today and i got slapped a lot now im a puppet to her if i don't brush my hair hit if i say no about something even though im not trying to be mean i just want to rest hit if i do anything wrong i get hit i called talked to people they didn't care or listen but you're a nice person psycho2go you're voice is calming
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setareh5888
When I have emotional comfort, I would never start. like when my mind starts to think I'm imperfect and it's fine, I would never start to change it (like my current situation now. I don't put effort to change, I don't wanna start anything as I feel comfortable and at ease now, and I'm like a useless person of the society but I'm fine with it)
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When I have emotional comfort, I would never start. like when my mind starts to think I'm imperfect and it's fine, I would never start to change it (like my current situation now. I don't put effort to change, I don't wanna start anything as I feel comfortable and at ease now, and I'm like a useless person of the society but I'm fine with it)
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jax7715
Oh I absolutely understand this. okay so I'm not well at moment and won't be for another fortnight etc. so, for now it's hard to push to make changes, even at small steps. But I'm agreeing with retraining your mind etc it is possible. But more so I see why feel good motivation can give reason to move forward. Xx
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Oh I absolutely understand this. okay so I'm not well at moment and won't be for another fortnight etc. so, for now it's hard to push to make changes, even at small steps. But I'm agreeing with retraining your mind etc it is possible. But more so I see why feel good motivation can give reason to move forward. Xx
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WilseifFirehowl
sometimes change isn't about becoming someone new, it's about finally learning how to work with yourself
This, this is the key point, I used to hate how I am and who I am. But with time I learned that I was wrong to change who I am and instead the key was to learn how to be myself properly
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sometimes change isn't about becoming someone new, it's about finally learning how to work with yourself
This, this is the key point, I used to hate how I am and who I am. But with time I learned that I was wrong to change who I am and instead the key was to learn how to be myself properly
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justinjyeung
Timestamps:
0: 53 Your Brain Isn't Lazy - It's Efficient
1: 26 Why Motivation Doesn't Come First
2: 08 Why Hard Things Feel Bigger Than They Are
2: 46 How the Brain Learns to Want Effort
3: 28 Identity Is What Makes the Shift Stick
4: 04 Why Emotional Safety Changes Everything
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Timestamps:
0: 53 Your Brain Isn't Lazy - It's Efficient
1: 26 Why Motivation Doesn't Come First
2: 08 Why Hard Things Feel Bigger Than They Are
2: 46 How the Brain Learns to Want Effort
3: 28 Identity Is What Makes the Shift Stick
4: 04 Why Emotional Safety Changes Everything
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OipMol90
Fun fact: after watching this video instead of doing work for school, I didn’t understand what I was supposed to do. I took a candy from the kitchen and placed it on my desk and immediately started working with motivation and I laughed cause it worked, after doing my work, I ate the candy: )
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Fun fact: after watching this video instead of doing work for school, I didn’t understand what I was supposed to do. I took a candy from the kitchen and placed it on my desk and immediately started working with motivation and I laughed cause it worked, after doing my work, I ate the candy: )
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MindEmotionStories
This video really captures how action creates motivation, not the other way around.
It’s the kind of psychological insight that fits perfectly with the themes explored in MindEmotion Stories how small effort can reshape the way we face discomfort and growth
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This video really captures how action creates motivation, not the other way around.
It’s the kind of psychological insight that fits perfectly with the themes explored in MindEmotion Stories how small effort can reshape the way we face discomfort and growth
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psych2go
This explains so much about why starting is harder than the work itself.
Realizing it’s not laziness, it’s my brain trying to protect me, just changed how I see myself.
What’s one hard thing your brain keeps avoiding right now
Reply with, just one word
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This explains so much about why starting is harder than the work itself.
Realizing it’s not laziness, it’s my brain trying to protect me, just changed how I see myself.
What’s one hard thing your brain keeps avoiding right now
Reply with, just one word
reply
AnkushPardhe-q6g3m
You know. I would like to say something. the world doesn't care about psychology. Even if people are built for thinking they end up working. And those who are. and up making problems. At those problems land on to those workers. (This is school pass system)
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You know. I would like to say something. the world doesn't care about psychology. Even if people are built for thinking they end up working. And those who are. and up making problems. At those problems land on to those workers. (This is school pass system)
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howdoufeeluexist
But then what about that effort which gives false achievement feeling
Like you did a reading listen a lecture did some que but most were wrong still you feel u did something. but when u ask yourself is it really productive. the answer would be no.
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But then what about that effort which gives false achievement feeling
Like you did a reading listen a lecture did some que but most were wrong still you feel u did something. but when u ask yourself is it really productive. the answer would be no.
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psych2go
This came at the perfect time. I always try to prepare myself to do the hard things that need to be done, but when it comes time to do it, I forget about it and/or don't do it. Definitely going to take these things to heart and retrain my brain for the better
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This came at the perfect time. I always try to prepare myself to do the hard things that need to be done, but when it comes time to do it, I forget about it and/or don't do it. Definitely going to take these things to heart and retrain my brain for the better
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