3 signs youre not needy just basic human needs
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Date: 2023-08-20
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Comments and reviews: 25
HJ
Falling love is easy but make love true is hard.
This is about my crush story.
He is from my college and we in same batch. He is the one who firstly recognized me (from college chat group ) and come to me and talk to me. That's the moment I got that curse, I mean falling love with him. My friends also started to couple up us. But I already knew he is younger than me for 2 years and I am older 2 years more than him. When I say about it to my friends they stop couple up us because they knew it is not possible to have a relationship with that age gap. (Our society strictly prohibited for that kind of affairs, like they are some kind of sin) but you guys know, I already got falling love with him. Now it has been 2 years after falling love with him. But I bearely talk more than 10 words. I keep avoiding him. It's feel like he going to know all my feelings if I talk to him.
I love him sooooo much. I don't have courage to confess my love about him to him. I cry for days cause I already loose him because he liked someone else in his age. But you know that girl rejected him. It's funny right someone's diamond become someone's dump. You guys don't know how much I relieved after here that there affair didn't work. I know I am being selfish but, how I see my love go away. It's like ripping my heart out of me when I am alive.
I know he never like me before or now or never even think about me. I spend my all strength and time for him by helping him when he need support and made good connection between us. But after all of that I realized I was just a supporter or just friend for him.
I know I cannot force someone to like me. Eventhough I writing this, it's hurt like hell. It's feel like my heart getting thousand of needls or stuck something in it and going to explode. Because of his unintentional rejection I feel like I am no body. I even rejected a boy who liked me because I compared him with my crush. This hurt me soo much. This is my first and real crush. I really really want him. But there id no way for it.
Soo at least I want to move on. Please help me. Give me your advices to me. Or pray for my love, for my crush love me back.
I sware if he love me back, and confess his love by overcoming all barriers, I never ever let him sad. I love him moon and back. I'll be the most lovely gf in the world.
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Falling love is easy but make love true is hard.
This is about my crush story.
He is from my college and we in same batch. He is the one who firstly recognized me (from college chat group ) and come to me and talk to me. That's the moment I got that curse, I mean falling love with him. My friends also started to couple up us. But I already knew he is younger than me for 2 years and I am older 2 years more than him. When I say about it to my friends they stop couple up us because they knew it is not possible to have a relationship with that age gap. (Our society strictly prohibited for that kind of affairs, like they are some kind of sin) but you guys know, I already got falling love with him. Now it has been 2 years after falling love with him. But I bearely talk more than 10 words. I keep avoiding him. It's feel like he going to know all my feelings if I talk to him.
I love him sooooo much. I don't have courage to confess my love about him to him. I cry for days cause I already loose him because he liked someone else in his age. But you know that girl rejected him. It's funny right someone's diamond become someone's dump. You guys don't know how much I relieved after here that there affair didn't work. I know I am being selfish but, how I see my love go away. It's like ripping my heart out of me when I am alive.
I know he never like me before or now or never even think about me. I spend my all strength and time for him by helping him when he need support and made good connection between us. But after all of that I realized I was just a supporter or just friend for him.
I know I cannot force someone to like me. Eventhough I writing this, it's hurt like hell. It's feel like my heart getting thousand of needls or stuck something in it and going to explode. Because of his unintentional rejection I feel like I am no body. I even rejected a boy who liked me because I compared him with my crush. This hurt me soo much. This is my first and real crush. I really really want him. But there id no way for it.
Soo at least I want to move on. Please help me. Give me your advices to me. Or pray for my love, for my crush love me back.
I sware if he love me back, and confess his love by overcoming all barriers, I never ever let him sad. I love him moon and back. I'll be the most lovely gf in the world.
reply
Joshua
A personel experience and/or note on desiring clear communication: Where the clarity is desired, it may not be achievable. The person or people you try to communicate with may not want clarity. Rather some people may desire more obscurity in a given situation. It's a difficult and possibly painful situation. Briefly double check your own biases, but also consider that more than one party may be dishonest and/or misguided. Sometimes there is no clear resolution where everything is understood. Sometimes you have to decide that there is more than one dishonest party whether it's the truth or not and defend that boundary. Double check your biases again and let the people and the situation go to the best of your ability. Time may clarify everything, but continuing to try to make sense of a situation may just end up hurting yourself rather than finding understanding. Don't let such a situation stop you from pursuing clear communication, but be more discerning of who you keep around you and/or who with you try to find clarity. It hurts for a while, sometimes longer than we want, but you'll find a healthy way to get past it because it's important.
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A personel experience and/or note on desiring clear communication: Where the clarity is desired, it may not be achievable. The person or people you try to communicate with may not want clarity. Rather some people may desire more obscurity in a given situation. It's a difficult and possibly painful situation. Briefly double check your own biases, but also consider that more than one party may be dishonest and/or misguided. Sometimes there is no clear resolution where everything is understood. Sometimes you have to decide that there is more than one dishonest party whether it's the truth or not and defend that boundary. Double check your biases again and let the people and the situation go to the best of your ability. Time may clarify everything, but continuing to try to make sense of a situation may just end up hurting yourself rather than finding understanding. Don't let such a situation stop you from pursuing clear communication, but be more discerning of who you keep around you and/or who with you try to find clarity. It hurts for a while, sometimes longer than we want, but you'll find a healthy way to get past it because it's important.
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Wind_Cursed
Is it weird that throughout the whole video I just wanted to scream, run to nearest place I can be alone, and hide behind my wall of music? What does that mean? Does it mean that I'm so bad at fulfilling my basic human needs that it feels weird to have a voice finally saying it's alright to do this instead of never do this, it's bad? Or is it because I have ruined my life so much because I have actively went out of my way to make sure I don't meet some of what was described in the video to avoid appearing needy or jealous or whatnot? This almost made me wish I just didn't have connections with anyone. It's SO much easier to just be on my own with no one to worry about than to have connections with people that I'm so scared of breaking or burdening the other person that I destroy those connections myself
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Is it weird that throughout the whole video I just wanted to scream, run to nearest place I can be alone, and hide behind my wall of music? What does that mean? Does it mean that I'm so bad at fulfilling my basic human needs that it feels weird to have a voice finally saying it's alright to do this instead of never do this, it's bad? Or is it because I have ruined my life so much because I have actively went out of my way to make sure I don't meet some of what was described in the video to avoid appearing needy or jealous or whatnot? This almost made me wish I just didn't have connections with anyone. It's SO much easier to just be on my own with no one to worry about than to have connections with people that I'm so scared of breaking or burdening the other person that I destroy those connections myself
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Low
Hey Psych2Go I hope this isnt too much and it can but can you make a video on what to do after confessing your feelings to your crush please thank you. So let me explain what happened we have been friends the whole school year and towards the middle/end of the school year I began to have feelings for them then yesterday I told them I just wanted to let you know that I really value our friendship but I also have feelings for you. I don't want to cross any boundaries or make things awkward, but I wanted to be honest about how I feel. And they responded with I value our friendship too and I also think that I have feelings for you too dude but I'm still not sure. I'm being completely honest rn what should I do now
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Hey Psych2Go I hope this isnt too much and it can but can you make a video on what to do after confessing your feelings to your crush please thank you. So let me explain what happened we have been friends the whole school year and towards the middle/end of the school year I began to have feelings for them then yesterday I told them I just wanted to let you know that I really value our friendship but I also have feelings for you. I don't want to cross any boundaries or make things awkward, but I wanted to be honest about how I feel. And they responded with I value our friendship too and I also think that I have feelings for you too dude but I'm still not sure. I'm being completely honest rn what should I do now
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Megannz
I dont know how to express my emotions well. Growing up, my parents always got mad at me for crying because it was annoying and useless. Just wanting comfort was too selfish & needy. After yelling at me, they would apologize and tell me they love me. Now that Im older, I know what they did back then was wrong, and that I have every right to feel what I want about something, but I still cant communicate how I feel. Every time Im mad or sad about something that a person has done, I always dismiss my feelings when I should be communicating it to them. Im always nervous about what they will think of me. I still think that Im being too needy sometimes.
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I dont know how to express my emotions well. Growing up, my parents always got mad at me for crying because it was annoying and useless. Just wanting comfort was too selfish & needy. After yelling at me, they would apologize and tell me they love me. Now that Im older, I know what they did back then was wrong, and that I have every right to feel what I want about something, but I still cant communicate how I feel. Every time Im mad or sad about something that a person has done, I always dismiss my feelings when I should be communicating it to them. Im always nervous about what they will think of me. I still think that Im being too needy sometimes.
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Elena
I was just rejected by a person I was dating for being too intense (read: needy. This was said to me in light of me occasionally reaching out to make some conversation, and gently hinting to them that communication is important to me.
So this video comforts me, reminding me that my desire to interact with them was not me being needy. It was me trying to establish clear communication with them and try to spend quality time with them in what, in retrospective, was expressed in a very reserved and respectful way.
It is a shame it didn't twork out, we were just different
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I was just rejected by a person I was dating for being too intense (read: needy. This was said to me in light of me occasionally reaching out to make some conversation, and gently hinting to them that communication is important to me.
So this video comforts me, reminding me that my desire to interact with them was not me being needy. It was me trying to establish clear communication with them and try to spend quality time with them in what, in retrospective, was expressed in a very reserved and respectful way.
It is a shame it didn't twork out, we were just different
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Danna
I hope this makes sense but, could the wonderful team make a video on the effects of child neglect and abuse? Sure you guys made handfuls of them which are useful and I'm super grateful for that! But I just wanted to know if how I act like a unsupervised child with specific people, connects to my childhood truma. I hope this makes sense! Its simply put as, Why we feel that we act like a child. Yikes, I'm sorry I just want to clear my mind and just know! Thank you so much if you guys see this! I probably won't respond until two months due to my situation!
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I hope this makes sense but, could the wonderful team make a video on the effects of child neglect and abuse? Sure you guys made handfuls of them which are useful and I'm super grateful for that! But I just wanted to know if how I act like a unsupervised child with specific people, connects to my childhood truma. I hope this makes sense! Its simply put as, Why we feel that we act like a child. Yikes, I'm sorry I just want to clear my mind and just know! Thank you so much if you guys see this! I probably won't respond until two months due to my situation!
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raindrop
soooo i am needy pretty much
i shove everything onto one person bc i dont have anyone else and that just pushes them away bc they dont want me then i go however long eithout anyone and everything builds up so the moment anyone else does show me any kind of kindness i just put everything on them and they feel pressured to stay andwhen i finally think they might actually care about me they leave and this just repeats again and again and again
im a terrible person
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soooo i am needy pretty much
i shove everything onto one person bc i dont have anyone else and that just pushes them away bc they dont want me then i go however long eithout anyone and everything builds up so the moment anyone else does show me any kind of kindness i just put everything on them and they feel pressured to stay andwhen i finally think they might actually care about me they leave and this just repeats again and again and again
im a terrible person
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volenti
Thanks a lot for this vedio. I have been told many times by my lover that i am depending on him for emotional support bcoz i am not able to solve my own problems that made me frame myself as needy. Now that i realised that what i was expecting was care and emotional support which is not neediness
I have a doubt on what is called love and what is attachment and why is it that attachment makes a person lose their self worthiness and love doesn't make that?
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Thanks a lot for this vedio. I have been told many times by my lover that i am depending on him for emotional support bcoz i am not able to solve my own problems that made me frame myself as needy. Now that i realised that what i was expecting was care and emotional support which is not neediness
I have a doubt on what is called love and what is attachment and why is it that attachment makes a person lose their self worthiness and love doesn't make that?
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Andrew
I feel that there is an importance in understanding when this might cross over though. Is it not possible to need TOO MUCH quality time, or TOO MUCH emotional support? I feel this is where I've gone wrong in the past. I end up going long periods of time without any love/emotional support, so when someone shows me either, I feel like I need as much as I can before they bail on me.
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I feel that there is an importance in understanding when this might cross over though. Is it not possible to need TOO MUCH quality time, or TOO MUCH emotional support? I feel this is where I've gone wrong in the past. I end up going long periods of time without any love/emotional support, so when someone shows me either, I feel like I need as much as I can before they bail on me.
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bellrevent
I dont open up at all irl bc my mom and dad both dont no hoe ti hsndle it and my mom has bipolar so if i slip up snd say the weong thing even if tits true it eill uoset her and mske her bipolar go out of contrall and my dsd jdut cindtentky like ehy its judt words bla bla you knoe your brothers sensitiv to that topic why sre you do sensitive and im like bruh
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I dont open up at all irl bc my mom and dad both dont no hoe ti hsndle it and my mom has bipolar so if i slip up snd say the weong thing even if tits true it eill uoset her and mske her bipolar go out of contrall and my dsd jdut cindtentky like ehy its judt words bla bla you knoe your brothers sensitiv to that topic why sre you do sensitive and im like bruh
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Youtube
When I like love someone I'm the type to send them long messages and ask for hugs or want to be hugged a lot but I've heard from different people at different times of my life that's not really. right. It's excess and I should tone it down. Now I feel like I should be cold and not a touchy feely person.
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When I like love someone I'm the type to send them long messages and ask for hugs or want to be hugged a lot but I've heard from different people at different times of my life that's not really. right. It's excess and I should tone it down. Now I feel like I should be cold and not a touchy feely person.
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Goose
Desiring clear communication. I feel like these days, ghosting, flaking, and bailing last minute have become a norm and it has definitely put a negative effect on my mental health. People always say to just accept it and move on, but I'm tired of ghosting becoming so normal now.
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Desiring clear communication. I feel like these days, ghosting, flaking, and bailing last minute have become a norm and it has definitely put a negative effect on my mental health. People always say to just accept it and move on, but I'm tired of ghosting becoming so normal now.
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TGONfluffyG
I relate to all three that you listed unfortunately most people in my life if not all of them dont care or brush it off like its no big deal. Most of the time if feel like slamming my head against a wall just so someone will fully listen is the only way
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I relate to all three that you listed unfortunately most people in my life if not all of them dont care or brush it off like its no big deal. Most of the time if feel like slamming my head against a wall just so someone will fully listen is the only way
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Lindyloohoo
Am i being seen? thank you
I work in servicing others. Always taking care of them. I want the same for me. Nobody understands that. And i just figured it out this needs to be talked about more especially as our generation is the loneliest
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Am i being seen? thank you
I work in servicing others. Always taking care of them. I want the same for me. Nobody understands that. And i just figured it out this needs to be talked about more especially as our generation is the loneliest
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Blue
And yet even logically knowing this, i still feel like my presence around those i care about is a chore for them regardless how many times im told by them that they enjoy my company. If only my logic and my emotions could see eye to eye on things
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And yet even logically knowing this, i still feel like my presence around those i care about is a chore for them regardless how many times im told by them that they enjoy my company. If only my logic and my emotions could see eye to eye on things
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James
If you are a normal human being, who is asking for closest from your partner, who is dismissive avoidant, they will see you as needed, but its not so much that you are needy as it is that they cant tolerate basic needs being asked of them
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If you are a normal human being, who is asking for closest from your partner, who is dismissive avoidant, they will see you as needed, but its not so much that you are needy as it is that they cant tolerate basic needs being asked of them
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education
Authors words about appearin urself as a needy when u reach out ur friends just to hang out to somewhere is so relatable to my situation. Every time i fell myself as a obsessive child who need in a much of attention
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Authors words about appearin urself as a needy when u reach out ur friends just to hang out to somewhere is so relatable to my situation. Every time i fell myself as a obsessive child who need in a much of attention
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UsagiRoxie
Thank you for confirming that my basic needs are often not fulfilled in my romantic relationships. I never felt needy before entering unstable relationships with emotionally unavailable people. Good riddance!
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Thank you for confirming that my basic needs are often not fulfilled in my romantic relationships. I never felt needy before entering unstable relationships with emotionally unavailable people. Good riddance!
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Stephen
An important caveat to this message is that support should be reciprocal. Too many people are energy vampires. They want to spend time with you to meet their own needs, and give very little to nothing in return.
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An important caveat to this message is that support should be reciprocal. Too many people are energy vampires. They want to spend time with you to meet their own needs, and give very little to nothing in return.
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Dreaming
Its sad coming from an abusive household and learning that these are supposed to be basic human needs. Being denied all these things and more while being called needy makes it hard to reach out for anything.
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Its sad coming from an abusive household and learning that these are supposed to be basic human needs. Being denied all these things and more while being called needy makes it hard to reach out for anything.
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education
Somehow, I end up being called selfish whenever I want to satisfy my basic human needs. Not needy but selfish. I know I'm not selfish but I despise how society makes basic human needs as selfish or needy.
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Somehow, I end up being called selfish whenever I want to satisfy my basic human needs. Not needy but selfish. I know I'm not selfish but I despise how society makes basic human needs as selfish or needy.
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Beutimus
It's funny how this come up when I'm feeling rather stressed/anxious and I just want to talk to someone about it. yet that little nagging story in my mind is saying 'no, don't be needy! '
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It's funny how this come up when I'm feeling rather stressed/anxious and I just want to talk to someone about it. yet that little nagging story in my mind is saying 'no, don't be needy! '
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education
I remember when I was feeling down and I just wanted to talk somebody about it and the next thing what he said is you need medication. There is a reason why I cut ties with him.
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I remember when I was feeling down and I just wanted to talk somebody about it and the next thing what he said is you need medication. There is a reason why I cut ties with him.
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Miner
Thank you for this video! I tend to worry often that I may be needy, especially when it comes to me trying to build new friendships (or even hopefully a relationship down the line.
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Thank you for this video! I tend to worry often that I may be needy, especially when it comes to me trying to build new friendships (or even hopefully a relationship down the line.
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