7 Signs of Codependency, not Authentic Love
video description
Date: 2023-08-20
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 25
Alicia
When you're doing or giving more than another in a relationship, you're co-dependent ( you believe within yourself that you are a savior-and you're not, and the relationship is toxic. Toxic people make you co-dependent. Healthy people will never allow you to give more while they give less. Healthy people help you to see how great you are without expecting you to constantly give to them. Healthy people allow you to say 'no', they even respect your 'no'', and you'll never ever feel guilty about being your true self around them. When you can't say 'no' to certain people, realize that your are dealing with a toxic person. Let's learn to protect and respect ourselves first. Here's the secret: Give more to yourself and give others equally what they give you. Stay Blessed
reply
When you're doing or giving more than another in a relationship, you're co-dependent ( you believe within yourself that you are a savior-and you're not, and the relationship is toxic. Toxic people make you co-dependent. Healthy people will never allow you to give more while they give less. Healthy people help you to see how great you are without expecting you to constantly give to them. Healthy people allow you to say 'no', they even respect your 'no'', and you'll never ever feel guilty about being your true self around them. When you can't say 'no' to certain people, realize that your are dealing with a toxic person. Let's learn to protect and respect ourselves first. Here's the secret: Give more to yourself and give others equally what they give you. Stay Blessed
reply
Yukipoke0214
After watching this video, it made me question myself if Im the bad guy in my recent relationship. I do admit Im pretty clingy to my partner. Like I do focus on my partner quite a lot bc this is my first relationship, and the same time Im recently focusing myself (its difficult. Im the guy who over worries things to much, maybe because Im at introvert? But I always respect my partners boundaries or space. Idk when they need that space. Nowadays I feel like my partner is pushing me away, and I worry if its my fault. Having doubts in myself. My partner is really sweet and caring, now its distance feeling with me. Im doing my best ability to keep this relationship. Thank you for those who reads this. Hope your day goes well.
reply
After watching this video, it made me question myself if Im the bad guy in my recent relationship. I do admit Im pretty clingy to my partner. Like I do focus on my partner quite a lot bc this is my first relationship, and the same time Im recently focusing myself (its difficult. Im the guy who over worries things to much, maybe because Im at introvert? But I always respect my partners boundaries or space. Idk when they need that space. Nowadays I feel like my partner is pushing me away, and I worry if its my fault. Having doubts in myself. My partner is really sweet and caring, now its distance feeling with me. Im doing my best ability to keep this relationship. Thank you for those who reads this. Hope your day goes well.
reply
PurplePerruche
I have to admit I'm pretty condependent with my partner. I take my frustration out on him even tho I try to control myself. But when I try to stay quiet and not tell him what feels wrong, I can't stop stressing or I feel like my mind is boiling. My mother was like that with my father all of the time and I guess I learned this by watching her. I try my best to change. Is there any video about how you can stop being condependent? He is a wonderfull guy and he loves so so much. It hurts me that I hurt him and I want to change and I try to, but honestly is hard. He is the quiet type and I managed to open him up at the beginning of the relationship, but now I think I'm closing him back again and I don't want to.
reply
I have to admit I'm pretty condependent with my partner. I take my frustration out on him even tho I try to control myself. But when I try to stay quiet and not tell him what feels wrong, I can't stop stressing or I feel like my mind is boiling. My mother was like that with my father all of the time and I guess I learned this by watching her. I try my best to change. Is there any video about how you can stop being condependent? He is a wonderfull guy and he loves so so much. It hurts me that I hurt him and I want to change and I try to, but honestly is hard. He is the quiet type and I managed to open him up at the beginning of the relationship, but now I think I'm closing him back again and I don't want to.
reply
Congruent
This just reminds me of a friendship I had with someone for the longest time. She ticked pretty much every box on this list. After I started distancing myself she got super angry at me for something that didnt even happen. Im almost certain that she simply couldnt find a reason to be mad at me, and just made things up in her head to cope with it.
Its been less than a year, and while I still feel lonely; I feel so much better without her. She was such a burden, and I think how different my life would be if I didnt let her make decisions for me the friendships Id still have.
reply
This just reminds me of a friendship I had with someone for the longest time. She ticked pretty much every box on this list. After I started distancing myself she got super angry at me for something that didnt even happen. Im almost certain that she simply couldnt find a reason to be mad at me, and just made things up in her head to cope with it.
Its been less than a year, and while I still feel lonely; I feel so much better without her. She was such a burden, and I think how different my life would be if I didnt let her make decisions for me the friendships Id still have.
reply
Henso
I think it's totally fine to depend on your partner for some things, but that's the thing. You have to be an individual that loves themselves before you can start to love someone else. That's why I think inter-independancy which is the act of acting independant but also relying on your partner if the need comes up might be the best way to treat your parnter. It's a beautiful way of having your relationship, since both sides are living their lives how they would want to but also learn to respect that their partner can be relied on if they asked them.
reply
I think it's totally fine to depend on your partner for some things, but that's the thing. You have to be an individual that loves themselves before you can start to love someone else. That's why I think inter-independancy which is the act of acting independant but also relying on your partner if the need comes up might be the best way to treat your parnter. It's a beautiful way of having your relationship, since both sides are living their lives how they would want to but also learn to respect that their partner can be relied on if they asked them.
reply
Charlie
I had a friend for a while and I noticed that he was making me more and more uncomfortable and I could not really figure out why. But now I can see that he had some co-dependant tendencies about him. Like telling me not to feel a certain way cuz then he feels upset. Trying to use guilt and pity in order for me to spend time with him and pay attention to him( you know my day is better when you talk to me) as one example. I can see why my other friend found him creepy as he told me he found the guy emotionally manipulative.
reply
I had a friend for a while and I noticed that he was making me more and more uncomfortable and I could not really figure out why. But now I can see that he had some co-dependant tendencies about him. Like telling me not to feel a certain way cuz then he feels upset. Trying to use guilt and pity in order for me to spend time with him and pay attention to him( you know my day is better when you talk to me) as one example. I can see why my other friend found him creepy as he told me he found the guy emotionally manipulative.
reply
Auden
Aaaaaaaaa gosh dang man. I dont want this to relatable. Its even more hard when Im actively in a relationship. I want to be a good partner and truly build back my self esteem for myself. I dont want to fix anyone anymore. I feel like I need a break from our relationship to have time to reflect on these codependent tenacities. I know Ive come a long way but I know I have so much more to go. Thank you for this video. It really helped me put words to some of the things I need to work on.
reply
Aaaaaaaaa gosh dang man. I dont want this to relatable. Its even more hard when Im actively in a relationship. I want to be a good partner and truly build back my self esteem for myself. I dont want to fix anyone anymore. I feel like I need a break from our relationship to have time to reflect on these codependent tenacities. I know Ive come a long way but I know I have so much more to go. Thank you for this video. It really helped me put words to some of the things I need to work on.
reply
Hazel
I feel almost all of those codependency signs. And I am well aware that I grew up from a family that Needs me to be almost perfect and that I developed this thing that I need to please everyone to get their approval or to be loved. And I know I am a handfull to my Partner and I thank heavens for letting him stay with me, and thank you Psychtogo for these videos because it helps me understand myself more and to take care of my partner as well. I don't wan't to stay like this forever
reply
I feel almost all of those codependency signs. And I am well aware that I grew up from a family that Needs me to be almost perfect and that I developed this thing that I need to please everyone to get their approval or to be loved. And I know I am a handfull to my Partner and I thank heavens for letting him stay with me, and thank you Psychtogo for these videos because it helps me understand myself more and to take care of my partner as well. I don't wan't to stay like this forever
reply
sfozardmccall8
With support from friends and partners, I feel like it's okay not to agree with their decisions and choices they makes but don't put ultimatums, try to prove them wrong/talk them out of it (unless it causes harm to themselves or others, or say I told you so. Making decisions for yourself can be hard already but having someone try to control or put their input on everything can be toxic. Always communicate your feelings and thoughts but remember its their life not yours.
reply
With support from friends and partners, I feel like it's okay not to agree with their decisions and choices they makes but don't put ultimatums, try to prove them wrong/talk them out of it (unless it causes harm to themselves or others, or say I told you so. Making decisions for yourself can be hard already but having someone try to control or put their input on everything can be toxic. Always communicate your feelings and thoughts but remember its their life not yours.
reply
can
My partner and I of 5 years just recently broke up but are currently trying to reconcile but this video truly made me realize that in our first relationship we were both codependent of each other, maybe subconsciously emotionally manipulated each other. But now in this new relationship we are building, I am choosing to be with him, and vice versa. We are trying to be more open, honest and transparent in our communication with each other and openly expressing our wants/needs.
reply
My partner and I of 5 years just recently broke up but are currently trying to reconcile but this video truly made me realize that in our first relationship we were both codependent of each other, maybe subconsciously emotionally manipulated each other. But now in this new relationship we are building, I am choosing to be with him, and vice versa. We are trying to be more open, honest and transparent in our communication with each other and openly expressing our wants/needs.
reply
Gen
0: 27 Choosing something, not feeling forced to do something (internally)
1: 38 Dependence on others to feel well
2: 24 Communicating Needs and Wants openly
3: 08 Supporting, getting the above
3: 56 Boundaries, setting and maintaining them.
4: 42 Controlling others through emotional manipulation
5: 25 Self-worth and maintaining it by yourself. I am supportive, not a therapist (But where the F do you draw that line)
reply
0: 27 Choosing something, not feeling forced to do something (internally)
1: 38 Dependence on others to feel well
2: 24 Communicating Needs and Wants openly
3: 08 Supporting, getting the above
3: 56 Boundaries, setting and maintaining them.
4: 42 Controlling others through emotional manipulation
5: 25 Self-worth and maintaining it by yourself. I am supportive, not a therapist (But where the F do you draw that line)
reply
psych2go
It sounds like i'm codependent, with my mom, and thats good, because i've been trying to find something that would tell me/help me, help me to know, or tell me if i actually love my mom or not, and i think the sad truth is that i don't, i tell her i love her then i abuse her, i'm a spychopath and people say we can't love, so this video was very informational, thank you
reply
It sounds like i'm codependent, with my mom, and thats good, because i've been trying to find something that would tell me/help me, help me to know, or tell me if i actually love my mom or not, and i think the sad truth is that i don't, i tell her i love her then i abuse her, i'm a spychopath and people say we can't love, so this video was very informational, thank you
reply
education
i have genuine question and would love to have other opinions pls
for context i have strong feelings for my ex/best friends, we've been together for over 6yrs but it wasn't working out even if the love was true. today we agreed to only be friends she's been there for me when times was hard and vice versa. so my question is is those of friendship health?
reply
i have genuine question and would love to have other opinions pls
for context i have strong feelings for my ex/best friends, we've been together for over 6yrs but it wasn't working out even if the love was true. today we agreed to only be friends she's been there for me when times was hard and vice versa. so my question is is those of friendship health?
reply
Sam
I think ND relationships can come over a bit like some of these things without actually being codependent. I struggle a lot to maintain boundaries my partner just doesn't see etc. however theres an acknowledgement that our relationship is likely less balanced most of the time but that's the choice in the situation I guess. Still ASD does cloud things somewhat
reply
I think ND relationships can come over a bit like some of these things without actually being codependent. I struggle a lot to maintain boundaries my partner just doesn't see etc. however theres an acknowledgement that our relationship is likely less balanced most of the time but that's the choice in the situation I guess. Still ASD does cloud things somewhat
reply
Ironfrenzy217
This is the scenario with my roommate and his mom. I called it a few years ago, manipulation too. I fear he's suckered into codependency though because he doesn't have great self worth. Worse still I think he wants a girlfriend to fulfill Him because of lack of self worth and he'll then start the codependency cycle.
reply
This is the scenario with my roommate and his mom. I called it a few years ago, manipulation too. I fear he's suckered into codependency though because he doesn't have great self worth. Worse still I think he wants a girlfriend to fulfill Him because of lack of self worth and he'll then start the codependency cycle.
reply
education
The Boundaries and Self Worth parts are terrifyingly true to my case. I was so in need of approval that no matter how much time and many things he's done for me, I still can't feel anything. Like, they're all being thrown into a void: (
Trying to gradually fix that from now on.
reply
The Boundaries and Self Worth parts are terrifyingly true to my case. I was so in need of approval that no matter how much time and many things he's done for me, I still can't feel anything. Like, they're all being thrown into a void: (
Trying to gradually fix that from now on.
reply
Sabrina
Do you guys already have a video on how to get rid of codependent habits? If not, could you guys make a video that addresses that topic? I realized how much of this is true for me and I really wanna become a better person by learning how to remove these habits and tendencies:
reply
Do you guys already have a video on how to get rid of codependent habits? If not, could you guys make a video that addresses that topic? I realized how much of this is true for me and I really wanna become a better person by learning how to remove these habits and tendencies:
reply
Nikki
I'm in a codependent relationship, but we do trulry love each other. There is a book that's very important to read, CODEPENDENT NO MORE BY MELONIE (I THINK BEATY)/ it helped me seec myself nie clearly and I'm working on alone time, communicating needs and m self esteeme
reply
I'm in a codependent relationship, but we do trulry love each other. There is a book that's very important to read, CODEPENDENT NO MORE BY MELONIE (I THINK BEATY)/ it helped me seec myself nie clearly and I'm working on alone time, communicating needs and m self esteeme
reply
ANJANA5792
I agree with most of part except for valuing no being dependent on your partner. Ofcourse I am imp to me but my partner must also understand my importance in his life. How else one would appreciate one's presence in his or her life.
reply
I agree with most of part except for valuing no being dependent on your partner. Ofcourse I am imp to me but my partner must also understand my importance in his life. How else one would appreciate one's presence in his or her life.
reply
YoRHa
This is so scary. Its weird cuz me and this guy Im talking to go through some of these but we work on these issues a lot. I feel scared. I know I love him and its mutual but I dont want this ruining things. Idk if Im over thinking things
reply
This is so scary. Its weird cuz me and this guy Im talking to go through some of these but we work on these issues a lot. I feel scared. I know I love him and its mutual but I dont want this ruining things. Idk if Im over thinking things
reply
Dom
Here's a hypothetical: if you have no pre-arranged plans to talk to your partner on any given evening (such as a text or call, and they get mad at you for not talking to them but don't reach out to you, is there something overtly wrong?
reply
Here's a hypothetical: if you have no pre-arranged plans to talk to your partner on any given evening (such as a text or call, and they get mad at you for not talking to them but don't reach out to you, is there something overtly wrong?
reply
Angelo
Authentic love is dead and gone. Everyone is codependent on one another to survive in this dead and dammed world now. There's no going back to simpler times now. I know this from experience.
reply
Authentic love is dead and gone. Everyone is codependent on one another to survive in this dead and dammed world now. There's no going back to simpler times now. I know this from experience.
reply
Mynuts
sounds like its just called a name but can be a mixture of these things. real love is not a gameplan that has 1. 2. 3. its a mix of these issues some have similar issues and different ones
reply
sounds like its just called a name but can be a mixture of these things. real love is not a gameplan that has 1. 2. 3. its a mix of these issues some have similar issues and different ones
reply
Aro
If you really loved me you would do this. That hit me like a ton of bricks. Didn't realize I was being toxic cause that's what my parents said when they wanted me to do something.
reply
If you really loved me you would do this. That hit me like a ton of bricks. Didn't realize I was being toxic cause that's what my parents said when they wanted me to do something.
reply
Termisher
Does the fear of my girlfriend commiting suicide and keeping me from leaving her.
Even tho we live 150 kilometers away and have no way to see each other this?
reply
Does the fear of my girlfriend commiting suicide and keeping me from leaving her.
Even tho we live 150 kilometers away and have no way to see each other this?
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos
