
The Four Attachment Styles of Love
video description
Date: 2023-08-20
Related videos
Comments and reviews: 24
Squid
im definitely anxious preoccupied, but its weird bc although some ppl in the comments talked about abuse and problems in childhood, id actually say i had a pretty good early childhood and still have nice family relationships, never been abused or hit and i 100% know that my family loves me. my school and general environment has also been rly good at nurturing individuality, so i dont really know why i have this attachment style. its only been the case for 1 person though, specifically someone from a past relationship in which i was extremely jealous and insecure in, and now that its been 1. 5 years since the breakup were friends again but my attachment says that part of me still thinks of her as more.
not the best situation, and it might be harder to work through this without her by my side (she was very secure when we were dating) and i dont know if i can even tell her about this for i feel like she cares about me less now (or maybe thats just my perception) but I think my anxiety is already showing up a lot here so yup thats all
reply
im definitely anxious preoccupied, but its weird bc although some ppl in the comments talked about abuse and problems in childhood, id actually say i had a pretty good early childhood and still have nice family relationships, never been abused or hit and i 100% know that my family loves me. my school and general environment has also been rly good at nurturing individuality, so i dont really know why i have this attachment style. its only been the case for 1 person though, specifically someone from a past relationship in which i was extremely jealous and insecure in, and now that its been 1. 5 years since the breakup were friends again but my attachment says that part of me still thinks of her as more.
not the best situation, and it might be harder to work through this without her by my side (she was very secure when we were dating) and i dont know if i can even tell her about this for i feel like she cares about me less now (or maybe thats just my perception) but I think my anxiety is already showing up a lot here so yup thats all
reply
Blue
Fearful avoidant here- I like spending time with friends but im so intimidated by intimacy. In fact I have very few friends. I feel sad about being lonely and not being able to make lots of friends but i usually find myself making up excuses to not hang out with the friends i already have, i also make little to not effort to create a social situation. Recently I'm going out with this girls and i like spending time with her but I find myself so UNABLE to engage in more intimate contact unless shes literally not facing me I cant even bring myselt to kiss her on the lips yet. and I find myself trying to find any kind of excuse to stop seeing her. I struggle with low self steem and sociak anxiety so its hard. Like i love romance and i love having friends and once i go out with them i feel great but then its so hard to get out of the comfort zone again. It's so hard when your heart craves so much tenderness and understanding from others and yet the defense mechanisms in your mind end up sabotaging everything. :(
reply
Fearful avoidant here- I like spending time with friends but im so intimidated by intimacy. In fact I have very few friends. I feel sad about being lonely and not being able to make lots of friends but i usually find myself making up excuses to not hang out with the friends i already have, i also make little to not effort to create a social situation. Recently I'm going out with this girls and i like spending time with her but I find myself so UNABLE to engage in more intimate contact unless shes literally not facing me I cant even bring myselt to kiss her on the lips yet. and I find myself trying to find any kind of excuse to stop seeing her. I struggle with low self steem and sociak anxiety so its hard. Like i love romance and i love having friends and once i go out with them i feel great but then its so hard to get out of the comfort zone again. It's so hard when your heart craves so much tenderness and understanding from others and yet the defense mechanisms in your mind end up sabotaging everything. :(
reply
Anonymous
Dismissive Avoidant personality checking in, if my partner threatens to leave me I'll show her the door. U don't threaten ur loved ones, if u try fk with me like that then gtfo. At the end of the day the only constant u have in life is urself, everyone else will come and go whether by choice or death so look within yourself to fulfill your needs and interact with others without any dependence on them.
You are the hero who saves yourself, the only person u can have confidence in is yourself since you're the only constant in your life, theres no point in putting yourself under anyone else since you live different lives and your life is from your point of view so in short, you're the main character in your story and everyone else is a side character.
reply
Dismissive Avoidant personality checking in, if my partner threatens to leave me I'll show her the door. U don't threaten ur loved ones, if u try fk with me like that then gtfo. At the end of the day the only constant u have in life is urself, everyone else will come and go whether by choice or death so look within yourself to fulfill your needs and interact with others without any dependence on them.
You are the hero who saves yourself, the only person u can have confidence in is yourself since you're the only constant in your life, theres no point in putting yourself under anyone else since you live different lives and your life is from your point of view so in short, you're the main character in your story and everyone else is a side character.
reply
Aakanksha
I am anxious to secure attachment and here to say that AVOID AVOIDANTS! They are a bane to society. The kind of abuse they engage in is insidious, if you call them out on it they will pretend they are not responsible for doing any emotional labour for your. The abuse of anxious attachment styles is visible because they will act-out, avoidants give you silence treatment, will keep you guessing about your relationship and then when you make an emotional demand they will gaslight you as being too much, needy and burdensome! AVOID AVOIDANTS, THEY INVALIDATE YOU! EVERYBODY HURTS, BUT NO ONE SHOULD MAKE YOU DOUBT WHAT YOU FEEL. THEY DO THAT!
reply
I am anxious to secure attachment and here to say that AVOID AVOIDANTS! They are a bane to society. The kind of abuse they engage in is insidious, if you call them out on it they will pretend they are not responsible for doing any emotional labour for your. The abuse of anxious attachment styles is visible because they will act-out, avoidants give you silence treatment, will keep you guessing about your relationship and then when you make an emotional demand they will gaslight you as being too much, needy and burdensome! AVOID AVOIDANTS, THEY INVALIDATE YOU! EVERYBODY HURTS, BUT NO ONE SHOULD MAKE YOU DOUBT WHAT YOU FEEL. THEY DO THAT!
reply
milo
Im an odd mix. I relate most with the Secure attachment style, but Im also extremely introverted, so Im always walking a fine line between setting healthy boundaries for my alone time, and tripping on over into the Dismissive-Avoidant behaviors.
This is also especially tricky because the man I love is very anxious attachment style, which means he always feels like I must not love him and Im going to leave him any second when I just need introvert time. And irritation with that insecurity is what pushes me into Dismissive-Avoidant.
reply
Im an odd mix. I relate most with the Secure attachment style, but Im also extremely introverted, so Im always walking a fine line between setting healthy boundaries for my alone time, and tripping on over into the Dismissive-Avoidant behaviors.
This is also especially tricky because the man I love is very anxious attachment style, which means he always feels like I must not love him and Im going to leave him any second when I just need introvert time. And irritation with that insecurity is what pushes me into Dismissive-Avoidant.
reply
Hollywood
I believe I fall in the middle of having an anxious-preoccupied and dismissive avoidant attachment style but I also feel I share some characteristics with a fearful avoidant while my ex partner of 5 years has a mix between a secure and anxious-preoccupied attachment style. Its hard to put a label on myself or others, I see similarities in the different characteristics for both myself and my previous lovers behavior across the attachment styles.
reply
I believe I fall in the middle of having an anxious-preoccupied and dismissive avoidant attachment style but I also feel I share some characteristics with a fearful avoidant while my ex partner of 5 years has a mix between a secure and anxious-preoccupied attachment style. Its hard to put a label on myself or others, I see similarities in the different characteristics for both myself and my previous lovers behavior across the attachment styles.
reply
Rene
I felt like i have been all of these at som epoint in my life in different relationships. Im definitely less of anxious and preoccupied type now a days for sure, and I feel like I only very rarely feel a tinge of Fearful avoidance - however the Dismissive Avoidant one hit me straight on like i had a painted target on my chest haha Maybe i dont got it all together - maybe i just think i do cause i think im really good at lone wolfing it on my own
reply
I felt like i have been all of these at som epoint in my life in different relationships. Im definitely less of anxious and preoccupied type now a days for sure, and I feel like I only very rarely feel a tinge of Fearful avoidance - however the Dismissive Avoidant one hit me straight on like i had a painted target on my chest haha Maybe i dont got it all together - maybe i just think i do cause i think im really good at lone wolfing it on my own
reply
Mary
I dont know what style of attachment i had. I can have friend, but when i feel like our relationship became deeper or became like more a bff way approach I distance my self. I hate it. I always do it with anyone. For example, I can easily build good relationship with kids but when I feel like they're really attached to me, i will distance my self.
reply
I dont know what style of attachment i had. I can have friend, but when i feel like our relationship became deeper or became like more a bff way approach I distance my self. I hate it. I always do it with anyone. For example, I can easily build good relationship with kids but when I feel like they're really attached to me, i will distance my self.
reply
Rickless
Years ago back my teenagehood. This video make perfect sense idk romance but I love me and my sidekick name Jess we better the life partner. We stop Antagonism people and sort or nazi too but in the we never be life partner again and I miss my best friend because she my step sister.
reply
Years ago back my teenagehood. This video make perfect sense idk romance but I love me and my sidekick name Jess we better the life partner. We stop Antagonism people and sort or nazi too but in the we never be life partner again and I miss my best friend because she my step sister.
reply
Chris
I've always been pretty secure, but totally became an anxious-preoccupied when I dated a fearful-avoidant. Their constant mixed messages and hot/cold tendencies left me questioning everything all the time. Will absolutely keep an eye out for avoidant folks in the future to avoid them.
reply
I've always been pretty secure, but totally became an anxious-preoccupied when I dated a fearful-avoidant. Their constant mixed messages and hot/cold tendencies left me questioning everything all the time. Will absolutely keep an eye out for avoidant folks in the future to avoid them.
reply
ri
Definitely fearful-avoidant! I look forward to finding a partner, but the first time I felt physical attraction to someone (heart racing, stomach butterflies, etc) I became really freaked and overwhelmed for days until I was able to talk it over with my dad
reply
Definitely fearful-avoidant! I look forward to finding a partner, but the first time I felt physical attraction to someone (heart racing, stomach butterflies, etc) I became really freaked and overwhelmed for days until I was able to talk it over with my dad
reply
gui
It is weird, i tend to act like an avoidant, but deep inside i want an intimate relationship with someone i trust, i wanted intimacy but along with trust issues, i also am afraid of being betrayed by a partner
Would it be fearful avoidant?
reply
It is weird, i tend to act like an avoidant, but deep inside i want an intimate relationship with someone i trust, i wanted intimacy but along with trust issues, i also am afraid of being betrayed by a partner
Would it be fearful avoidant?
reply
Colten
Fearful avoidant here. Its very hard to let people get close to me. I know I do need to socialize if I want to find relationships but am afraid of them at the same time. So I lean more towards the avoidant side and am highly introverted.
reply
Fearful avoidant here. Its very hard to let people get close to me. I know I do need to socialize if I want to find relationships but am afraid of them at the same time. So I lean more towards the avoidant side and am highly introverted.
reply
Legacy
This is ur frst video tht i watch fr you tht makes me feel depressed dwn bc i found out am avoidant attachment style n it hurt so it seems i will never have a good relationship r kids bc am also an introvert sp my parents fk up my life.
reply
This is ur frst video tht i watch fr you tht makes me feel depressed dwn bc i found out am avoidant attachment style n it hurt so it seems i will never have a good relationship r kids bc am also an introvert sp my parents fk up my life.
reply
James
What if you feel like you resonate with all the attachment styles except for secure. I feel like different chapters in my life Ive experienced Anxious, Dismissive, and Fearful all varying on the person and point in time of my life.
reply
What if you feel like you resonate with all the attachment styles except for secure. I feel like different chapters in my life Ive experienced Anxious, Dismissive, and Fearful all varying on the person and point in time of my life.
reply
Be
For women who dont have the secure attachment style and experience PMS, very big emotions, pls read/research on vitamins and minerals for PMS. Eating healthy and taking supplements esp that time helps me regulate big emotions.
reply
For women who dont have the secure attachment style and experience PMS, very big emotions, pls read/research on vitamins and minerals for PMS. Eating healthy and taking supplements esp that time helps me regulate big emotions.
reply
Psych2Go
Hello! Thank you for all the support! If you guys want to see more work like this, let us know! If you want to get involved on our team, feel free to email us your best work/sample here: editorialpsych2go. net
reply
Hello! Thank you for all the support! If you guys want to see more work like this, let us know! If you want to get involved on our team, feel free to email us your best work/sample here: editorialpsych2go. net
reply
Alice
I am not the type of person you can get close too, anyone that can stay with someone 50 plus years in being controled or are controling the other person their love has gone to habit xp, Blessing to all xp
reply
I am not the type of person you can get close too, anyone that can stay with someone 50 plus years in being controled or are controling the other person their love has gone to habit xp, Blessing to all xp
reply
Jodie
I love to deepen my understanding of self and others but unless you have tips on how to shift perspective then many are left using this as an excuse for their behavior with no plan to grow and improve.
reply
I love to deepen my understanding of self and others but unless you have tips on how to shift perspective then many are left using this as an excuse for their behavior with no plan to grow and improve.
reply
Jack
Promote some extra self-awareness by citing sources. particularly science based on theory from as early as the 50's, being implied romantically in the 80s, to be largely revoked now.
Self. Aware?
reply
Promote some extra self-awareness by citing sources. particularly science based on theory from as early as the 50's, being implied romantically in the 80s, to be largely revoked now.
Self. Aware?
reply
BAD
I'm an anxious preoccupied person. I was dating on and off a woman who is fearful avoidant. I fell for her pretty hard. She pulls close, then after awhile goes distant. It feels like a yo yo effect.
reply
I'm an anxious preoccupied person. I was dating on and off a woman who is fearful avoidant. I fell for her pretty hard. She pulls close, then after awhile goes distant. It feels like a yo yo effect.
reply
Krista
I used to have anxious preoccupied but now I have a secure attachment style with a boyfriend who also has the same attachment style! It took me a while to get here but Im so happy Im here now
reply
I used to have anxious preoccupied but now I have a secure attachment style with a boyfriend who also has the same attachment style! It took me a while to get here but Im so happy Im here now
reply
education
If you understood the psychology of reciprocity (Cialdini's triggers) you wouldn't ask us to consider giving to you via Patreon at the start of the video (before you give value to us).
reply
If you understood the psychology of reciprocity (Cialdini's triggers) you wouldn't ask us to consider giving to you via Patreon at the start of the video (before you give value to us).
reply
Sophie
With my family I have a secure attachment style. Then because of BPD I have Dismissive and Fearful avoidant friend relationships and it swings like a pendulum depending on my mood.
reply
With my family I have a secure attachment style. Then because of BPD I have Dismissive and Fearful avoidant friend relationships and it swings like a pendulum depending on my mood.
reply
Add a review, comment
Other channel videos















